BipolarButterfly

Justice League Official Comic-Con Trailer (2017)

Cyborg (Victor Stone) portrayed by Ray Fisher

Get the comics here

Comparison is always the beginning of the death of self-love. Comparison is a daily brutalization against the self-esteem. Comparison sets the mark on its daily measure toward inevitable failure, and inadequacy. It doesn’t matter how beautiful you are because there is always someone more beautiful. It doesn’t matter how intelligent you are because there is always someone more intelligent. It doesn’t matter how much money you have because there is always someone with more money. It doesn’t matter how successful you are because there is always someone more successful. You see, this is a game you can never win. It does not matter how real your perceived deficits are; what matters is how you give life to them and amplify them through comparison and judgment against yourself. You are the supreme adjudicator of worthiness in your life. You decide how satisfied you are with yourself; no one else. You must cease all viciousness toward yourself once and for all. You can only evolve beyond the vicious self-analysis and violent comparison to others through loving yourself. If you can silence your constant judging you can have deeper levels of love and friendship with others and yourself.

— Bryant McGill

One of them being that you can really like a guy but the minute you discuss antiblackness and the abuses that black women endure via black men, a lot of guys can’t handle it.

Almost immediately they get in their feelings about it or try to avoid being accountable.

They try to explain how everyone has to come together. Men aren’t the only problem. Black folks in general have issues etc. Like the amount of derailing brothers will do is disappointing.

Because really what I’m hoping that this guy isn’t going hurt me or be okay with the ways society accepts me being hurt.

He proved your point…like many of them do, by doing whatever he could to end that conversation.

Size 20 Black girls Scene/alternative/nerdy Black girls Black girls with acne or scarring Dark skinned Black girls who aren’t fuckable to u Monoracial Black girls with Black features Disabled Black girls Black girls who say “fuck respectability politics” Black girls with 4c natural hair Black girls who critique the Black community and the damage it has done to us.. Etc…

they talk a lot about how the cycle should be broken, but we have to break little habits, too. we are taught that love looks like yelling, that the only way to express ourselves is to explode. we say things like, “i’m horrible” because we mean “thank you for being with me.” we don’t know how to say soft things, are scared to confront our own feelings. 

it is hard. a lot of what we are taught gets under our skin. little things that hurt others without us meaning to. the result of living in a toxic house is that you can be toxic, too. even those of us who are doing our best to be better, to be nothing like our parents: we have to constantly check with our loved ones that we are not controlling them. we have to look at every behavior with a microscope - are we complaining too much? or is bottling it up not healthy? or are we just used to nit-picking? or is this a legitimate problem which we should voice? are we saying this nice enough but serious enough to get the point across? or are we being unfair?

the truth about bad parents is that it is not a childhood problem that erases in college. the one source of unconditional love you were supposed to receive ends up only loving you conditionally - only if you’re quiet, if you tread lightly. 

it is hard. we are the ones who have to read those “how to know if your partner is toxic” posts and see if we are displaying those behaviors. we live in terror of being our parents’ ghosts.