STILL ONLY HUMAN

the best part of each x-files episode is waiting for the end to see who's gonna do the sign off report cause when it's scully it's usually something like "once again, despite my partner's opinion to the contrary, i cannot confidently say that there is any scientific basis to the theory that alien ghost blood was responsible for the disappearance of the crack in the liberty bell" meanwhile if it's mulder we get gems like "are we alone in the universe? what does it truly mean to be alone? did bigfoot fuck the speaker of the house? as always i am left with more questions than answers and don't know who to trust and i think scully changed her shampoo and..."

@staff You're not very subtle.

some people are afraid to be corny. not me. i live life on the cob, baby.

Women please survive

also i know he was a joke gimmick character but Allan was genuinely the most intriguing character in that movie to me from a gender standpoint- he’s existing outside of the barbie/ken binary but not necessarily in an eye-catching or interesting way; adjacent to ken but not quite ken enough to be a ken and definitely not a barbie but ends up grouped with the barbies when the kens take over; non-conforming and subversive but not really in a cool way like weird barbie. basically the point here is that michael cera is good at portraying vaguely transgender discomfort and i wish there was more allan in that movie for my own personal sake

popping my back isnt enough i need to be picked up and slammed against the wall like a wet trout

You know how when you use a bendy straw you pull the bendy part up before you bend it? I want someone to do that to my spine.

unshrimp me back please

“this meeting could have been an email” but instead it’s “this video tutorial could have been a post with less than a hundred words”