THIS

Dan Brucie ur Bobbies

this book I’m reading on female evolution for some reason uses bill and hillary clinton as examples of the typical differences between male and female vocal structures and the author is like “imagine if bill clinton had a throat sac like an ape which caused his voice to resonate” don’t say that? I don’t want to imagine that?

billiam clinton saying his famous line “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” in a booming voice that can be heard up to two miles away and everyone starts hooting like monkeys and banging their fists on their chests

normalise wearing a big skull shirt with spiky bracelets and calling people dorkzillas while taking their lunch money. if you shove nerds in their lockers. youre valid...........

whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.

Me, passing a car covered in horny thirst-trap anime girl stickers: while I personally find this to be cringe, given the national push for censorship, I must concede that this is technically Praxis.

i’m on a pride trip in the greek isles, and out of the twenty people on this trip, three of them are gay aussie morticians. as you can imagine, i’m mining them for saw traps and general horror writing material. and also getting drunk with them.

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.