my life as a moron.

Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been coerced into sex because some girl decided that she wanted it, and when I say no she turns it into some kind of criticism of her. Or I’m cheating. Or I’m actually gay. Or she starts groping me and playing with me trying to “get me in the mood”. Or she just won’t take no for an answer. After many years of this you know what I’m left with? Low self esteem, constant bad sex, depression, having all sex now feel like a chore, being terrified that if I have sex with someone I actually *like* then it won’t work out, and the feeling like I CAN’T say NO.

All. Of. This.

“Do not let yourself be a perpetual victim of what has been done to you. Do not surrender your heart to your wounds. Instead build a bridge between the two. Water your wounds with love and forgiveness and watch them feed your heart a blossoming wisdom. Your pain is just the beginning of a garden, do not kill the seed before it blooms. Treat yourself with care and you will be surprised by all the blessings your pain will grow into.”

REAL