lily.roxanne

The number of people responding to this post claiming to be bodhisattvas is hilarious. If you'd resolved your karma you wouldn't be on tumblr.

Hundreds of fish in the sea more like hundreds of fish in my knee. I have hundreds of anchovies swimming in my knees and if you try to break them they swim attack you.

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

sometimes a bug lands in my drink and I say "bro is in my drink" which evolved into "there is a brother in my drink" but that feels vaguely assumptive so now I on occasion say "there is a sister in my drink" whenever a very confused fly decides to take a dip. you too can practice feminism in everyday life

if we were all puppies and kittys, Lewis and Clark would be. Mewis and Bark

Reports say Windows 15 will be "a transparent pane of glass" that will be installed into frames on a wall; Lead developer comments, "finally, we got it right. Somehow we kept making operating systems instead and it was getting really frustrating."

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

Even better, the comments to this Twitter post were an absolute FIRESTORM of mostly dudes explaining to her that dials can’t only have 2 positions (not true) and that it wasn’t a very good piece (not true) that she was being disrespectful to her teacher (don’t care) and that it was a sign of her stupidity/rabid feminism/intellectual laziness/misandry/etc. that she couldn’t see any “middle ground.” It became, in its way, a performance piece. I was absolutely mesmerised, even as I wished I could cock-punch people through the internet.

Personally I hope that knob goes to 11 and stays there.

“Dials can’t have only 2 positions” is also missing the point. Even if it doesn’t have only 2 positions, the point stands that getting less of/farther away from “raging feminist” requires getting more of/closer to “complicit in my own dehumanization.” You should always be at 0% having to be complicit in your own dehumanization.

if I wrote a dystopian novel where the corrupt evil megacorporation that controls society has a fucking smirk for a logo, my editor would tell me to use a less heavy-handed metaphor