little world

I’m on a roll I had to draw everyone’s favorite Rocky ♥️🙂‍↕️

Transcript below:

book grace: rocky would you still love me if i were a worm

So he starts pestering Carl. And not only does Carl let him bounce thoughts off him, but offers the sort of perspective that comes from someone who doesn't know the topic well and therefore has fresh ideas. And then he's driving him to the store, and saying they can get whatever they need to make this very exciting science experiment. Which, oh man, is gonna be *awesome*.

So Grace, hyped up on too little sleep, the thrill of science, and a burgeoning friendship, is starting to slip a little. Is starting to act more childlike than is ignorable. And he's trying to reel it in, but it's Carl's *job* to be perceptive. He doesn't know what's Up with Grace, but it's rather endearing, and he joins in. And he's having *fun*. And Grace is mildly flabbergasted because people are usually put off when he starts acting smaller, but Carl indulges him. He likes his juggling, he pretends the cart is a basketball hoop, he does the form and everything when Ryland sets up aluminum foil boxes as bowling pins. He *plays* with him!!! And Ryland is buzzing with energy because oh god his voice is sounding a bit off, and he's giggling, and is Carl going to notice and think he's weird? But he's having so much fun!!

At the checkout, he can't help but stare longingly at the candy. He grabs one and just looks at Carl because he can't work up the courage to ask out loud. And Carl easily accepts it. Tells him to get more. Piles the packages up on the counter. Gives him a twizzler while the checkout lady is still scanning their items, and lets him stand on the cart all the way to the car. Claps him on the shoulder once they get the last sheet of plywood loaded up and tells him to watch out but still laughs when he rides the shopping cart like a scooter to put it in the corral. Ryland sits in the back of the car again because even though he's pretty sure Carl isn't a personal chauffeur, that's where he puts him, and he immediately breaks into the skittles as he starts babbling about how they'll put the box together and how he's going to trick the astrophage into seeing "venus".

Carl listens, makes comments where appropriate, and asks the exact right questions to get Grace even more excited to tell him all about the science. He keeps wordlessly reaching his hand around his seat for Ryland to load it up with skittles, and doesn't make fun of his infodumping when the kid finally wears himself out and they spend the last of the ride just quietly listening to music, eating candy.

Hehehe good >:)) He is very obsession worthy!! Also that's so sweet that I could inspire it 🥺🥺 Thank uuu

If I was only slightly more deranged, I would be rewatching the movie right now and noting down each thing that makes me think of little Grace just so I can have a very detailed record of it ahaha. I want to. But I also am admittedly not up for that. Maybe I will be at some point hehe, fingers crossed. That said! I can *certainly* conjure up the stuff that I remember 😊

First of all, he definitely has an air about him in general that speaks to me as personally relatable. He's silly, creative, socially awkward but charming, has BIG feelings that get hard to control, is outspoken in all the wrong ways... He *easily* reads as neurodivergent and queer, which neither of those things are direct correlations with agere, but I mean... most littles, including myself, are some mix of neurodivergent, disabled, and queer! So I think that foundation of him fitting into these kinds of spaces makes it all the easier to read him this way.

There are also plenty of *specific* things that left me vibrating in my seat at the theatre with "he's like me!!" feelings! I've got two main scenes, and then a bunch of little bits and bobs!

Him and Carl at the store always sticks out to me, because his downright playfulness is a big factor in how I read him. Teachers like him definitely have their sense of childish wonder and whimsy intact; that's what makes them so great with kids! The games they play at the store felt very childish in a good way to me. Silly, carefree, and although it's definitely not good store etiquette, they were making simple fun and keeping to themselves, much unlike a lot of adults that goof off in stores by being destructive and loud. And the candy after??? It always strikes me how Ryland just holds it up questioningly. Yes it was comedic timing, and it very much landed, but it also felt very small to me. The scene that solidified the interpretation for me is when he lands on Stratt's Vat. Buddy's not feeling good, but he's still babbling away, and Stratt treats him so very small. She never infantilizes him, which is so important to me, but she *is* very particular with him. The way she takes his rain coat and silently, effortlessly steers him where she needs him because he's info dumping and not paying attention struck me. And then he walks into the conference room, and is instantly like "nuh uh no thanks" which, VALID. But Stratt doesn't just stop him from leaving, she encourages him in a particularly soft tone that seems to work *suspiciously* well. He acts more like a shy child than a shy adult in my opinion, and he *immediately* seeks Stratt's support to get through that. And she gives it! The way he hunkers down and backwards in his chair, the way he whispers to Stratt so she will talk into the microphone for him, only to *then* work up the courage to add his own comment. The level of relief and joy he gets from just a single person miming back his joke. I refuse to believe this man was fully big. Very much felt like a situation of "I am feeling so small but this isn't a safe or appropriate place so I am *desperately* holding on and trying to come across as normal".

Here's some miscellaneous details that didn't *cause* the headcannon, but bolster it for me!

He draws a frowny face after doing the math to see how far from earth he is. Like... yeah buddy. That is a :(

His uh... very sad one person bender after initially waking up had a distinct feeling of "child left on their lonesome" mixed in with the "man is confused, scared, and alone in deep space" vibes.

In the book, he demands more food, realizes Mary is refusing it for a genuinely good reason, then promptly continues to demand it lol.

Again in the book, but he's just SO hyped for aliens!!

The immediate dance moves with Rocky, and the genuine joy he gets from the tapping "game". Buddy is so silly.

Telling Rocky something along the lines of "that's the disco ball, it makes me happy" :'(

Pretend fishing and climbing trees??? Outdoorsy kiddo!

The hacky sack and the fox toy... I know they're for motif and visual storytelling, but like... Use toys to depict stuff about the lowkey (highkey?) regressor coded character and I'm gonna hold onto it.

In the book, Stratt gives him hot chocolate, not coffee. And he quite distinctly has a suspicion that he is the only one being given hot chocolate.

There is an unused bit in the script about him wanting ice cream. Sot serve Specifically. And Stratt gets him an ice cream machine! Those puppy dog eyes are unbearable I just know it.

His rain coat. Just. His lil yellow rain coat. And his cardigan. And his silly shirts.

I was SO certain that the children's drawings he taped to the xenonite when Rocky was healing were *his*. I am heartbroken that it's not canonically true. But... it is true in my soul.

He and Rocky's party hats 🥺

Him playing with the model ship while on the way to save Rocky??? Such a sweetie.

This is fanart for Rosie_Pines' story "The Gravity Before" over on Ao3!!

Then she betrays him, and he may have been put in the coma to stop his fight, but that doesn't mean he stopped running from the desire to be held by her. Once. Once is all he needs. As sick and terrified as it makes him to want that, he can't help it.

Aboard the ship, he doesn't mention it, not when Rocky pesters him about the tears in his eyes or when he paces instead of sleeps in hopes of fighting off regressing.

And on Erid.. that masks slips a little more. One thing at a time, one little task that makes him break apart further. He wants someone to tuck him in, wants someone to wake up by, wants to be held...

And Rocky can't do any of those things.

Regressing or not, Grace can't have any of the things he wants so what is the point of asking for it at all? He already knows how being touched goes, he knows the scar on his arm just about as well as he knows the back of his own hand. It doesn't matter if he's fuzzy, it doesn't matter if he's crying.

Ryland Grace doesn't get to be held. He doesn't get the warmth in any other form the scalding hot against his skin. He doesn't get anything beyond the blankets around his shoulders on the nights he can drift to sleep. He doesn't get to be taken care of.

He's on an alien planet, a guest for as long as they'll tolerate him, far away from home. Asking for any more than this is far too much. Asking for what they cannot give and cannot understand is undeniably worse.

1 : he would love teaching his kiddo new things. encouraging them to ask questions, offering explanations for things that he can see confuses them. he'd always go back to what they talk about later, too - "do you remember why that happens, kiddo?" - and gets very excited when they can tell him. "yes! exactly right, thank you, baby!"