Secretary Serenity

She cackles and grins, not making any attempt to lower her voice. If the cab driver it happened to hadn’t already passed the word around the company, she was pretty sure this guy would. Had to keep up appearances, afterall.

"I tried hailing with my cane, but it didn’t work, so I shot a flare gun at the cab and then they loaned it to me! It even worked when I brought it back! Everyone wins!”

It’s possible it was missing a door, and had some bullet holes, and a new stain on the front bumper. That didn’t mean it couldn’t drive though, and she thought war wounds were a badge of honor! Or at least proof of durability.

"Yes yes! Right next to a shop that I went to. Once. For a thing. It smelled delicious! Not just red-delicious, but other delicious."

The kind that other people thought of? How to…tell someone…the kind of…non-color-smell? The smell that isn’t a smell? Or…forget it. She could decide for herself.

"Hahaha...of course, Porosi. I know what you mean. I'm sure it'll be the tops, eh? Terrors know what'll happen to 'em if it ain't, eh?"

She allowed herself to lapse into slightly less formal speech. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been able to do that. She'd been all business for quite a while now.

When the cab finally stopped, she made good on her promise to herself to make sure the driver received a generous tip, though he seemed to be willing to leave with nothing at all. Anything that would get him as far away as possible as quickly as possible.

“Why illegalise them? Admittedly I’m rather lacking when it comes to laws regarding firearms, just the basics and such; are they at least legal in the hands of our officers?”

Serenity was well aware a large number of them were in the pocket of the Felt or the Crew, or could otherwise not be trusted. Hell most people couldn't be trusted. Why would cops be any different?

"After all, the only person I trust unconditionally is you."

Although admittedly, she was slowly growing to trust Porosi Pyrope quite a bit. Which was a rather nice development. She just hoped it didn't blow up in her face anytime soon.

She continued to watch occasionally giving him pointers and encouragement. He was doing quite well, and she made sure he knew it. It was a load off her mind that he was learning to defend himself. Not that she'd ever stop worrying about him.

[pvt] Well, if the public believe me a fool I can calmly point out that nobody can come to grasp the entire livelihood, biology and culture of each and every race in just eleven years.

Up until then I only had one source for human information, and that was a male. I believe it proves to the people I am open to new ideas, they’re aware that I do not know everything, and so in turn, I must be open to new aspects.

Of course not, holy frog no! I take each and every one of my citizens opinions in account, unless they happen to be negative.

Our vision is the same, I’ve just being going about it differently as of late. You know about my past, correct? Well I don’t want that happening again, I have to do things a little differently lest it all end in death again, I’m sorry if you don’t understand my motivations…

I...okay. Alright. I'm glad. That's true. Of course it's true.

Nothing has changed.

I'm sorry

I just

lately it almost seems like you somehow don't care about the people they've killed, I know you're a controlled man, that you hide your anger better than I.

I don't know what you're thinking lately because you rarely tell me anymore and you keep many secrets. But that's fine. You are not obligated to make me understand. I'm just a secretary.

"Quick time, go go!"

Midnight City cabbies weren’t known for being slow, but she was pretty sure this one was going to break records with how fast you could get someone to a location legally and when in fear of your life. Her cackling seemed only to make him that more intent on it. Good man.

"Of course I do! I didn’t even have to use a flare gun this time!"

Meanwhile, she taps lightly on the back of Serenity’s hand, turning to talk to her as well.

"You've used a flare gun to hail a cab before? Did that work?"

She raised her brows, and crossed her legs calmly, watching as the city zipped by.

"Winding Dragon you said? Or something to that effect? Sounds like human chinese or some such..."

[pvt] Well, if the public believe me a fool I can calmly point out that nobody can come to grasp the entire livelihood, biology and culture of each and every race in just eleven years.

Up until then I only had one source for human information, and that was a male. I believe it proves to the people I am open to new ideas, they’re aware that I do not know everything, and so in turn, I must be open to new aspects.

The drawing wasn’t even of my own creation, and no longer exists; they are genitals and the only race which would take offense to such a trivial thing would be the humans, and they are the minority.

That shopping excursion you mentioned was to get back said napkin.

I haven’t snuck around whatsoever, the last time I went anywhere with anyone was my meeting with Gar, apart from that I had Mr. Slick over for business.

So you don't have to care what humans think because they're a minority?

No I'm sure that's not what you meant

just

Forgive me William I'm just...growing concerned and frustrated. I've always been sure our vision was the same and that we were on the same page and I'm beginning to wonder about that lately. I...it's hard to tell what you're thinking anymore. I used to thought I understood your motivations implicitly.

I don't think I do anymore.

You understand that the Felt are monsters that nearly blew you up, injured many, and killed several of your supporters and that's only including the charity bombing incident.

You agree with that sentiment correct? We're...on the same page here, right?

[pvt] Well, if the public believe me a fool I can calmly point out that nobody can come to grasp the entire livelihood, biology and culture of each and every race in just eleven years.

Up until then I only had one source for human information, and that was a male. I believe it proves to the people I am open to new ideas, they’re aware that I do not know everything, and so in turn, I must be open to new aspects.

Keeping an open mind and continuing to learn and grow is admirable but

that and the talk of you having sex on your desk, drawing penises on napkins and shopping with criminals

can't lie to you anymore, William, the public isn't going to take you seriously as a leader much longer, you're making yourself a damn laughingstock and me with you

and you've been sneaking around and

just

No, she definitely knew Carapacians couldn’t detach their arms. The thing that she didn’t know what to do about was the thing happening with the hand touching and the food now. She had *meant* she would bring her food, later, after doing some research. Maybe interrogate some of the beat cops, then make them pick up the food so it wouldn’t be poisoned, then make someone else try it, *THEN* bring it by for Serenity.

She definitely did not mean food time now. What do normal people even eat? She couldn’t go back to the bakery by Ms. Bennet’s house, she’d already been there recently. Same with the place Sleuth took her, and where she met Paint, and where she got that cupcake, and the coffee.

Definitely couldn’t take her to the best bins in town, mostly because she doubted the Dersite would enjoy, partially because she wasn’t about to give up her main foodstuffs.

There were other places though, weren’t there? Yes. YES. The place near where she got her first dress. She’d never been there, but it was usually busy, and they cooked almost all the food in the same place, so it’d be impossible to poison without slowing down the orders and she’d notice that! Perfect.

"New plan!"

She lets go of Serenity’s hand to step out into the middle of the road, planting her boot on the hood of a cab that stops just short of running her over, her cane pointing at the driver through the windshield.

"You! Car man!"

Her eyes flick briefly to the people piling out of the car and retreating as quickly as possible without outright running, then back to the driver as she takes her foot off the car.

"You’re taking us to the Winding Dragon!"

Aaaand the Commissioner was running off into the street. For a moment, Serenity is pretty sure she's going to get run over, but the lucky soul stops just in time. Pretty good for a man no doubt having a heart attack.

Serenity was 99% sure this behavior was illegal. But she couldn't think of the charges off the top of her head, and it was the head of the police force who was doing it.

So fuck it.

"...you really know how to hail a cab, Rosi."

She slipped into the car beside the other woman, trying not to smile too widely or show other signs of amusement or surprise. Though she knew Porosi would be able to tell.

That was a foolish slip up, he had to cover and fast! Though he technically had loaded guns en masse before in the past…

"Yeah, that makes sense."

She looked mildly concerned when he flinched though. Her own soldier training had made such reactions to gunfire a thing of the past but she knew how easily they could put a rookie in pain. Or even make them ill.

"Yes. There are things you can put over your ears that I've seen the humans using...as for ways to make the bang less loud in the first place, there are gun modifications for that...but they're not considered particularly legal."

She shrugged.

"Ain't hard to guess why we'd want to keep tools to kill more quietly and easily out of the hands of the gangsters."

Nodding to indicate he should go ahead and try, she stepped back and observed carefully, ready to step in should he need help. But so far his form seemed decent. If a little unsure. He'd clearly been paying attention to her.

For once.

"...excellent work, William."

"As long as the rest of you comes attached! No detached body parts! They’re less useful than you’d think. Unless you’re trying to fend off wild roarbeasts, in which case they’re actually pretty useful."

They could *also* be useful in baiting wild animals, feral Alternians, or generally making people ill-at-ease, but that was neither here nor there.

Serenity was grinning though. This was going well. Right? Right? This was how things went when they weren't going absolutely pear shaped. Or so she suspected.

They could definitely absolutely be going worse at any rate.

"Haven't seen too many wild roarbeasts in the city lately. But I'll let you know if I do."

"I’ll keep that in mind then, hmm, maybe with a bit of practice I could be one of those…hmm, what are they called? Ah! A Human cowboy gunslinger!"

Moving aside to let her work her magic he observed with rapt attention, unfortunately he was incapable of looking over her shoulder, so he had to settle with squeezing by her side, a little awkward but he wouldn’t be missing out, he needed to know these things.

Serenity crooked a brow.

"What were you doing loading vast multitudes of guns if you don't know how to shoot them? Seems a bit of a waste..."

Shrugging, she continued, stepping over to one of the long alleyways with a target at the end. She raised the gun, turning off the safety.

"Now watch closely. That's how you turn off the safety. Don't do that unless you're prepared to shoot. Watch where I have my feet and hands. It's important to be balanced. Stand steady. Cock the gun like this. Hold it straight. Focus on your target, not on the gun, and line it up. Take a deep breath, keep your hands steady and..."

Bang. It was a good shot. Right through the chest of the human shaped practice target.

"Hmm, do I grip it with two hands? I know how to load the thing, but do I just point at the target and shoot when I’ve done so? I feel like there’s a lot more preparation needed before I’m plastering targets with bullets."

He did as she said, testing the weight, alternating between hands, grasping with both; there wasn’t much difference, for a Human probably more-so. Not feeling entirely ready to start shooting he offered her the gun.

Serenity nodded, stepping over and putting her hands over his, to shift them into the correct position.

"Like that. Remember to keep your grip firm but always be aware of where you're pointing it. Yes, don't worry. I'll demonstrate before I let you shoot anything."

Letting go of his hands, she quickly retrieved another handgun for herself, and some practice ammo for it.

She…ok, she mixed that one up herself. This was much easier when you were interrogating someone. And they weren’t touching you with their warm hands. Warm hands with secret messages.

"My favorite arm is the long arm of the law! But. Maybe also the glowworm arm?”

Because it couldn’t be when off duty, she wasn’t ever off duty, and favorite for sleeping wasn’t any good either. Favorite for interrogation sounded…hmm…that wouldn’t make the right impression. Favorite for…almost-culling? No. Face-punching? Probably also no. Car aiming? Maybe. Wait, no, she didn’t like the car ride last time.

"Yes, also glowworm arm! It is a tie. Hung jury. Too close to call!"

Perfect.

Serenity smiled.

"You have my arm whenever you need it, Rosi. That's a promise."

She could tell that despite the mutual affection, duty to their jobs and to the mayor came first for both of them. That was reassuring. It was a comfort to know she'd never have to worry about explaining her priorities to the other woman, or that she might be rejected for them.

All other would-be friendships and relationships had fallen away and withered over time. She neglected them, she admitted.

Whenever the Mayor needed her, she dropped whatever she was doing, and whoever she was doing it with. He was the most important thing in her life, though she knew she'd never be the most important thing in his.

In the end, no one stuck around around knowing her job, and the mayor would always always come first. And she couldn't exactly blame them. But maybe Rosi would be different?

That statement was tinged with blue and gray, and she had a good idea the source of it. That on its own was difficult, because she was loyal to the Mayor, but she had increasingly…soft…feelings towards Serenity that made it hard to see the woman sad and doubting.

Oh, and now they were touching hands. That is a thing is happening and it takes a moment for her to figure out it is morse code and not an affectionate thing. Except maybe it is? Was that what they were doing now?

"Favorite arms to get priority for watches and armbands though. And also coffee mug holding rights. Those are the best rights.”

She captures Serenity’s hand, tapping a reply rather than using her cane, gray fingers cool and a little rough.

If this were Ms. Paint speaking she would point out that maybe this is because Serenity used to be in the army.

Serenity will not say this because she is not a pun loving dork.

"It would be an honor to be your favorite arm."

She gives no particular reaction to the tapped response, except to smile and look exceptionally pleased. It was good to hear her feelings were returned this time.

Of course this time the feelings were a great deal less high stakes and brutally painful. A cautiously budding new pale interest rather than the old longing red she felt for the Mayor as fervid and devoted as it was hopeless. But even so. it was nice to have a feeling requited about now.

Any feeling.

She makes a show of gasping and covering her mouth, with her favorite hand, since she was making a point. Except then she started talking about trust, and you don’t trust people unless you’re at least a little bit pale or flushed for them and DID she trust Serenity?

She *had* let her into the back room, and shared probably too many thoughts, so…she did…trust her. An idea which made the entire conversation difficult again. If there was anyone in the city who was an awful choice for pale or flushed affections, it was Porosi Pyrope, even if she did have Red in her old title.

So rather than be a real adult and talk about it, she just started tapping her cane along the sidewalk as they talked.

.. / .-- .- ... -. .----. - / .--- ..- ... - / ..-. .. -. -.. .. -. --. / .... --- -- . ... / ..-. --- .-. / - .... .. -. --. ... .-.-.- / .. / .-- .- -. - . -.. / - --- / -.-. .... . . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. .-.-.- / .. .----. -- / ...- . .-. -.-- / -... .- -.. / .- - / .-. . -.. / - .... .. -. --. ... .-.-.- / .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- .-.-.-

"You can’t blame them for trying! I wouldn’t bite though, that’d be a waste."

Especially after the prodigal favorite arm from ten years ago burst onto the scene and all of the sudden was the most favored trusted...you know what, this metaphor is getting out of hand.

She didn't have anything to tap back with that would make a significant enough sound though. So she went instead for cautiously, hesitantly, taking the other woman's hand and tapping a message back on her palm, where she'd be able to feel the words rather than hear.

"Of course you will! You take care of things! You are the best at taking care of things.”

She nods in a supremely confident manner and continues to search her mental inventory. Watch? Radio? Badge? She didn’t *have* things like everyone else seemed to. What did Serenity even like anyway? Derse…things? Mayor things? ARGH. Why wasn’t actively not-culling someone not getting the message across?

"Thank you. For…the red things. Gifts. Nice…ness. Thank you for those."

"Mmm, I like to think so. Taking care of everything that needs taking care of is my job. I like to think I do it pretty well, and if I didn't, I probably would have been fired by now."

The thank-you was definitely most reassuring. Good. So she noticed it. And appreciated it. For a moment she'd wondered if her gestures of friendship were just causing the other woman stress...somehow.

"You're welcome, Rosi. Why wouldn't I be nice to you? You've been nice to me. Honestly, there are very few people in this city I can trust. It's nice to be able to let my guard down with someone. I can't give members of the Crew an inch and Felts even less than that...even around city hall and the police force I can't show an ounce of weakness or it'll bite me in the ass.

Just look at what happened today. I was honest and voiced my concerns to Rocha and before I knew it, Crowbar of all people was throwing it back in my face, trying to use it against me.

With that he strode into the room, channeling what little bravado he had and began observing the room with caution, not quite as excited as he had been previously.

"So, where do we start?" he said as he made his way to a booth far from the current officers, looking over his options and figuring it best he start small, though still clueless as to which gun he should equip. Pointing at one of the smaller firearms with intrigue he inquired his assistant.

Sigh.

"Alright. Er...well, we certainly can start with that one. But mastering smaller guns doesn't exactly translate to the handling of larger ones. It doesn't work exactly like that. Every type of gun is unique and must be handled differently. It's best to stick to guns you know how to use unless you absolutely have no other choice. Trying to fire a gun you have no idea how to use is dangerous and stupid."

Serenity smiled brightly and nodded encouragingly.