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yknow I'm feeling a bit brave so I will venture to say what this blighted essay's pitch actually is: reading project hail mary (novel and film) as a ravishment fantasy. in both main threads of the narrative grace is brought wildly out of his element and pulled into the orbit of a mysterious foreign stranger who is significantly stronger / richer / more powerful than him, forced to accept unsolicited lavish gifts and personal praise despite protests and discomfort, and made to live in isolated locations in extremely close proximity to these people with no say in the matter, all of which are common motifs in ravishment fantasies. on her own, stratt also brings in other common motifs of restraints, drugging, being above the law, multiple kidnappings (I'm doing crazy things with the classical definition of "rape" as in "abduction" and its shared etymology with "rapture" as in "being taken to the heavens"), and the very specific yet still common motif of "otherwise trustworthy partner goes too far and doesn't take 'no' for an answer." rocky on his own brings in the overprotective flavor common to a lot of dark romance novel heroes, i.e. "I make sure you sleep and I like to watch you while you do it, I make sure you eat enough even if you've got baggage about it, I make inhuman displays of strength when you're injured, and as long as I'm around I'll make sure nothing bad ever happens to you ever again."
the issue I was running into with researching this a few weeks ago is that almost all of the scholarly writing on the content of people's forced-sex fantasies focuses solely on women's fantasies and starts with the research question of "why would women enjoy imagining such a horrible misogynistic thing?" despite surveys often showing that men have force-fantasies (where they are the one being forced) at very comparable rates to women. my hypothesis for a bit was "either men's fantasies are exactly the same as women's or they're completely different in [x] way," which was disproven interestingly when I did finally find something about men's force-fantasies: in content they are almost exactly the same as women's fantasies but the emotional motivations are often different in [y] way, which I hadn't expected. and [y] also super applies to my buddy ryland, perhaps even more than my original [x] hypothesis.
my hopes for writing this are twofold: a) to address the question I sometimes see phm audience members come away with of "if grace likes his life by the end and doesn't seem that mad about all of that, is the message supposed to be 'violation of bodily autonomy is good, actually?'", and b) to lightly resist one of the prevailing notions in the study of forced-sex fantasies, that ravishment fantasies are solely abstracted and fantastical and pleasurable and are completely 100% separate from fearful paranoid imaginings of / flashbacks to realistic sexual violence.
oh also: the most common interpretation of why people have ravishment fantasies is that it allows the fantasist to disavow a desire they feel ashamed of because, in the fiction of the forcing, they don't *want* it at all, they're being made to do whatever it is and can't be considered at fault. as I allude to in my final paragraph of the original post, I think it's a tad more nuanced, but there's definitely a lot of truth to that. grace can tell stratt that he's not smart or important or capable or brave or selfless enough to do what she wants, but she'll ignore it, make him do it anyway, and kit him out with skilled staff members and expensive lab equipment and coffee just the way he likes it. it's a fantasy of being respected and heroic and good whether he likes it or not.
with rocky, the fantasy is of being forced to be loved and protected. rocky decides to initiate contact, he decides that he's moving into the hail mary, he decides that he's always going to watch grace sleep even if grace says he doesn't need it, he decides to gift grace the fuel to get home even when grace pretends he doesn't want it, and he decides he's not going to let grace die to save him even when grace says he's made his choice. the two scenarios allow grace to experience the rewards of being selfless without needing to be so gauche as to ever say he thinks he's that good of a person AND to experience the rewards of being selfish without saying he thinks he deserves to be cared for.
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So, I got an anon a few weeks ago asking what my favourite hc for how Joe and Nicky got together was. I realised then that I don't have any one interpretation that I prefer, but instead many that I love in equal measure. As compelling as their canon backstory is, it is also very vague vis-à-vis the timeframe or the dynamic of their early relationship. This has of course been great fanfic fodder. Here is a reclicst focused on the various ways these two could have gotten together and my favourite takes on them. All mostly emotionally centred around them getting together, all canon tl (well, more or less) and separated in thematic categories. Behind the cut because this is long as hell
They developed a friendship which eventually becomes a romance.
The Plate of Eclipses by Tam_Cranver
Yusuf and Nicolo in Bukhara in 1120 trying to solve a fun mystery & survive having feelings for each other. This has everything to me: delightful characterisation, cute friendship, them both being gay disasters, lots of yearning, a very cool medieval mystery plot and writing which made Bukhara in 1120 feel like a real living breathing city I could walk into. I re-read this very regularly I love it so.
The Other Matter by Survivah
Skip and hop through multiple decades as Nicolo and Yusuf slowly make their way from where they started to becoming lovers. Nicolo agonizes a lot. I am pretty sure this is a fandom classic at this point, seeing as it was posted very early on and I'm not sure I don't know anyone who hasn't read it, and for a good reason! It is excellent. There is also The Dragon by the same author which has a very similar idea except they're friends which benefits. Both fics are fantastic.
(don't) blame it on the moonlight by @bewires
Five times Nicolo and Yusuf faked being in a relationship and two times it was real. Who doesn't love a well written ye olde historical fake relationship?? I love this a lot and i think the characterisations are excellent also. Just a really fun concept well written!
No Words Necessary by Jordanisonfire
Just a really well executed slow-burn, starting from when they die in Jerusalem and ending when they're in a relationship after a long while has passed. For whatever reason I have never been very drawn to fics that cover the whole journey from Jerusalem to them getting together (I like to jump around I guess? have the fic be more In medias res) but this one I like a lot. Great characterisation, interesting backstories, good writing, delicious slow burn... what's not to like?
The Lamp of Nicholas by Viridianpanther.
Yusuf and Nicolo parted ways some time after making peace. It has now been 25 years and Yusuf is imprisoned, and of course Nicolo ends up involved. Have not read this in ages but remember it being really lovely and fairytale-like. I am also not usually a huge fan of 'it took them decades to get together'-fics but some times it works and this is definitely one of the times!
They start with hate fucking (or at least fucking before they're friends) but OOPS it turns into feelings.
life is a gradual series of revelations by @emjee
Fucking to pass the time ends up becoming a bigger emotional problem than either of them could have guessed. Funny how that happens! Somehow simultaneously hilarious and completely devastating. Starts really light but ends somewhere very emotional by the end. Also the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend companion songs are perfect.
nothing but love on my mind by @bewires
They're not friends but Nicolo is down bad and Yusuf decides to let him hit it even though he finds Nicolo deeply unromantic (but not unsexy, unfortunately for him). Again this is very delightful to me. I love Nicky's terrible pickup lines and I love how weak Yusuf is for them. Just a really funny dynamic to me. And the ending is cute!
Sticking Points by KushielsMercy
Just lots and lots of them being very mean and very funny and hate-fucking each other for ten years. Not usually my favourite dynamic for them but this fic I like, particularly because they both come across as huge assholes and somehow here it is fun for me to imagine. Also the feelings when they do happen warm my heart.
They became insane about each other before they could even speak the same language
Covenant by Delphi
Joe and Nicky on the banks of Euphrates on the way to Baghdad swearing eternal loyalty and lowkey getting married very soon after meeting. Short but really very powerful piece. Again one that I return to regularly, because it is so SO good.
Kneeled in Shaking Thrill by Pagian
Yes, this one was gifted to me, yes I am biased but who doesn't want to imagine Joe and Nicky falling in love and making love even before they can really talk with each other? I sure do, and this is such a gorgeous take on the concept. The sex scene is soooo beautiful i can't deal with it.
Morning Prayers by me, lol
Can you tell I love this concept? Feel free to ignore this horrendous self-rec but this is the only get together fic i have written and also i think the concept is good so there you go. Yusuf is having morning after anxieties about what having sex with Nicolo means for them but unfortunately they can't talk about it because of said language barrier. Anxiety ensues.
Timey wimey magic was involved (the AU section)
If Never Again If Every Day, by @gallifreyburning and @takiki16
Post Tog1, through mysterious magic Nicolo from 1099 and Nicky from 2021 change places in time. Nicolo from 1099 ends up in San Fransico with Joe and the gang and Nicky from 2021 ends up at the siege of Jerusalem right after he killed Yusuf that first time. Is this strictly canon compliant? No! But it is set during when they meet and does also include multiple versions of them getting together for the first time so I am allowing it on here. And it's an incredible fic, so who is gonna argue with me. If i can put INAIED on a reclist i will. And it made sense here bc it is not the only one excellent timey wimey get together fic there is also.
Retrograde by @pinkninjapj
Another absolute fandom classic. Nicky gets displaced in time every time he dies so he experiences their life non-linerally while Joe goes about it the normal way. Devastating and also incredible. If you haven't read Retrograde what are you doing. Guaranteed to make you very emotional (in the best way possible). Also includes them getting together but of course it is more complex than that.
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Bonus extra rec: Summerwind by @non-un-topo
an AU where Yusuf and Nicolo were childhood friends in canon tl. And yes it is as devastating as it sounds. This is here at the end because it doesn't really fit any of the categories (and it's not really about them getting together romantically really, but much more focused on other aspects of them and their relationship) but i love it a LOT and i could not in good consciousness not include it in a fic about their meetings and backstories. And it's excellent!!!
I imagine rocky puts grace's amnesia problems down as a "probably normal for humans, they forget stuff all the time" thing for a while and it doesn't set in until maybe a year into the erid trip that, no, losing straight up All of your memories for several months is just about as concerning and unusual for a human as it would be for an eridian. and his immediate reaction is twofold: 1. "you. you were that brain-unhealthy for the entire time we were working together and you just. barely ever mentioned it? Why. Question." 2. [sudden recollection of every time he got short of temper and said something bitchy like "lazy human not know how own ship function" or "how grace forget location of basic controls question"] [curls up on the floor in embarrassment] "should have said something so I not spend two months making fun of brain injuryyy"
Two secondhand patterns, both with second-hand problems
Left-hand pattern:
Pros: super sweet and twee, fits my fabric size perfectly, similar cut to Toddler's "party dress" that she wore a lot, she would fit it right now
Cons: much more complicated pattern, with NO margin for fabric error 😬, no magin for pattern matching, and maybe the fabric is too busy? Only have the size she currently is, which is one size smaller than I wanted to do, so she'll only wear it for a season (but I have backup child 😅)
Right hand pattern:
Pros: much simpler pattern, I think well within my skill set but still a few new things, maayyybe will match the drape better? (Wiser people please tell me!) Achievable goals. Still cute! A bit more casual. Might match the fabric better.
Cons: only have size 7! So something she won't fit for another few years, maybe a little boxy cut, she might wear it baggy for this summer?
One beautiful seersucker gingham fabric with cute flowers.
Which dress should I make?
Twee party dress! Stretch yourself, doesn't matter if the project fails!
Simple and bigger sized - get more use out of it, take small skill steps
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Two secondhand patterns, both with second-hand problems
Left-hand pattern:
Pros: super sweet and twee, fits my fabric size perfectly, similar cut to Toddler's "party dress" that she wore a lot, she would fit it right now
Cons: much more complicated pattern, with NO margin for fabric error 😬, no magin for pattern matching, and maybe the fabric is too busy? Only have the size she currently is, which is one size smaller than I wanted to do, so she'll only wear it for a season (but I have backup child 😅)
Right hand pattern:
Pros: much simpler pattern, I think well within my skill set but still a few new things, maayyybe will match the drape better? (Wiser people please tell me!) Achievable goals. Still cute! A bit more casual. Might match the fabric better.
Cons: only have size 7! So something she won't fit for another few years, maybe a little boxy cut, she might wear it baggy for this summer?
One beautiful seersucker gingham fabric with cute flowers.
Which dress should I make?
Twee party dress! Stretch yourself, doesn't matter if the project fails!
Simple and bigger sized - get more use out of it, take small skill steps
my students are really harshing on the romance in jane eyre and yeah whatever age gap but something is just not clicking for them that jane eyre is a sexual power fantasy FOR THE YOUNG WOMAN in the relationship. jane eyre shows us this young woman who has an older man so wrapped around her finger that he SOBS for hours when she rejects his love, that raises up a panicked storm when she chooses to leave him. and while you shouldn't get me and my crip studies self started on the ableism of the ending, i.e. that jane's mastering of rochester is complete only when he becomes disabled, the fact remains that jane eyre is about a young woman mastering an older man in every sense of the word. it is a sexual power fantasy in which a young woman is so desirable and so loved by an older man that he drives himself into (emotional) ruin when (for a while) he cannot have her—that the young woman has the upper hand to choose when and how and on what terms their relationship happens. so whatever, age gap blah blah blah (it's literally a victorian novel, come on), but they're truly just missing that the novel is not endorsing an older man preying on a young woman—jane always has some degree of agency (and eventually total control) over rochester. the sexual power fantasy is about and for (and told by) the young woman!!!
gonna be real fuckin basic here cuz i'm shit at titling: 🐝 The Wrong Place at the Right Time
(Dude, you're talking to the guy who names their fics stuff like "The Tree." XD)
Fandom: Dracula
Summary: A time-traveling Quincey Morris is desperately trying to show up at just the right time to save his friends. Unfortunately, his time-travel machine is malfunctioning, and he ends up in locations that he'd never intended. In between desperately trying to fix his machine, can he stop a murder, keep key information from falling into the wrong hands, and perhaps even prevent World War III?
He lands in a dark room - a dining room, he can tell, even though the blinds are drawn against the daylight. Quincey checks his pocket watch against the clock on the mantle and adjusts it accordingly. No clue as to the date, yet. He is just about to poke around for a snack and peer through the blinds for some clue of where (or when) he is but then-
Jack enters, Quincey's strange old friend (look how young he is here. His hair is all dark), with another older man close by, and they shut the door behind them. They don't seen to notice Quincey, because the older man is clearly distressed, rambling in a heavy accent about exhaustion and fear and blood.
Quincey speaks up.
"What's the matter with me, anyhow?"
Now, if only he could figure out who was the young lady he had promised to open his veins for.
I woke up, had a shower and had two (2) additional thoughts:
"Good Lord, Quincey. You haven't aged a day since I saw you last."
Well that's not good. Quincey puts on his most winning smile. "Just the miracle of the Texan air, good sir."
Quincey needs to get out of this time, out of this place. He's losing blood into the soil - cursed soil, so close to Count Dracula's castle. There will never be a metropolis here, nothing with medical care like he needs to stitch his insides back where they should be.
Quincey is collapsing, Jonathan a solid weight behind him. That won't do.
"Let me down," Quincey begs. "Lay me on the ground, quickly!"
His friends obey, but carefully. With Quincey's good hand he fumbles inside his waistcoat, blindly fiddling with that secret device. He spins the first dial hurriedly - as far as it will go, as far as he can manage with his diminishing dexterity. Forward, forward. Away from this time without X-Rays and MRIs and, God Almighty, blood types.
His other hand is limp by his side, but there, breaking free of the circle that imprisoned her, is Mina. She grasps the limp hand firmly, and Quincey doesn't have the strength to pull it away.
"Let me go, please." Quincey says, even as he takes hold of the second dial on the device. The one that could be precisely calculated to take him to a certain place.
"My dear friend," Mina Harker says through her tears. "You valiant man." She presses a kiss to the palm of his weak hand.
Quincey is running out of time. "Release my hand." He commands, but even he can tell his voice is fading, and Mina grips all the tighter.
Too late. With a prayer, he spins the second dial randomly and activates the device.
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