Do not assume, unless otherwise stated.
I don’t mind the responsibilities.
But, I know I needed support. This is not just MY battle. It is supposed to be OUR battle. But why am I feeling like I’m the only one in this mess?
When my mother was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I was astounded, appalled. It felt so surreal that I had to pinch my self first before it sinks in. Fucking truth hurts. I have a lot of questions in mind. The pain and the stress slowly took the half of my heart.
I have 5 siblings. No father. And my baby. When I looked at them, I thought. Atleast I am not alone. We’re a team. I know we can beat this shit.
Because of this cancer shit, of course our Mother stopped working to give way for her medication. We are lucky enough that we have roofs above our heads and that I have work to support our needs. My salary covered our food, bills and my sister’s baon to school. Since my other sister is working too, I am expecting her to give her share since we are a TEAM.
I thought it’d be just like that. But no.
I am so pissed because no, she never shared the burden. Instead, she added up to the stress and the hurt and the pain that I am feeling. Whenever pay day would come she would always say, “Maliit lang sinuweldo ko.” or “May binayaran ako, te.” And many other reasons. I would just let it pass or ignore it, pray to God that He will knock her head and make her brain work.
One time, I tried to borrow some money for her just to test her. I saw her payslip earlier that day so I asked her to lend me a couple of hundreds because our sister (currently in college) needs to buy something for school. She said that she don’t have money and that If I want, she could borrow from her friend but, with interest. I am so pissed and disappointed that day because I saw in her Instagram account that she went somewhere with her friend, ate somewhere and bought something. I thought, seriously? Shit.
My frustration is not about the money. It is about the thought that I kept in my brain that we are a TEAM. I thought we’ll be as one. I thought I’ll never be alone. I thought.
