empathetic

   “ – considering those little shits? Yeah, they’re most definitely plotting something. Or they’re all dead and we’re going to get jail time. ” She hasn’t even looked at him, her focus stuck on the book in front of her face, but now that he mentions it … it’s concerning. What the hell were those kids up to? “ Guess we’ll just have to see. ”

“Wait, WHAT?” David’s reply comes out more as a whine, clearing his throat. “Don’t say that! The kids can’t be dead, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!” Oh, and there goes his stress levels, going up tenfold. He’s sure it’s just her being sarcastic, but to him, it was kind of hard to tell with her sometimes ... so, thoroughly unnerved, he grips her by the hand and pulls her away from her book. He’s trying to tug her out the door! “Oh, come on ... we need to check on them right away! This is no time to be reading, they could be dead!”

XXX

“ .. Oh, um... thank you! But, uh, most people say my hair looks like a leaf instead ... is that a bad thing? I thought these were compliments. Hmm.” He looks a little confused, and perhaps a little worried. Your roast has confused him.

“That… didn’t go the way I expected it to.” Rest in shit.

Meanwhile, David is forever crying for some soap, because he thinks he’s committed a fucking crime by saying hewwo ( or even at the idea of cussing ). Classic David. Rest in shit indeed.

“Do everyone a huge favor and not say that again. It’s… a bad word.”

“Whh-- what?! It’s a BAD WORD? Omigosh, I am SO SORRY! Oh, please, someone get the soap!!! I need to wash my mouth out!!” Please help him. He is crying.

“Why are you the way that you are?”

“Haha, I have no idea what you’re talking about!”