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Ė ą£Ŗ . ąæ ā¦ Ė š¢ . a Ā dependent Ā and Ā private Ā character Ā blog Ā for outlastedhq. Ā penned Ā by Ā pumpkin Ā | twenty7 | cst . š¢ Ė ā¦ ąæ . Ė ą£Ŗ
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Kaide held her in place for a brief second longer before letting her go and turning her to face him, hands holding onto her shoulders as though she was a child. "No, Mila. You don't get to just stop and smell the flowers." He couldn't believe what he was hearing right now, there was no way she was being for real. Smell the flowers? When the world seems to be ending around them she wants to smell the flowers? She just didn't understand just how much he needed her to look out for herself. Losing their son, Shane. was hard enough and he didn't think he could survive the loss of her too.
"You're lucky it was me, Mila. What if it was somebody else? What if it was somebody who didn't want to be friends with you or smell the flowers too. What if they wanted to hurt you or worse." He was furious in her stupidy. "You don't understand what it is like out here, okay? I've seen things that you can't even imagine. I have had to do things I don't even want you to witness too. You are smarter than this."
As soon as his arms released her from his grasp and his hands moved to her shoulders, she shook at them once as an act of defiance even if she knew it wouldn't loosen his grip. He treated her like she couldn't take care of herself, as if she was a child lost and wandering out in the open. Mila couldn't bring herself to look directly at his gaze, because she knew if she did, she'd see their son in those eyes. "It's the end of the world, Kaide. God forbid I find some peace or joy with it, even if I have to sacrifice it all just to feel normal again for a split second."
She didn't want to mean what she said, but deep inside she did. Ever since the loss of Shane, there was nothing that could make the sun shine again for her. "No one is out there asking you to do those things, you want be off on your own outside of a community. You have to be a hero, a big macho dangerous guy. You'd think in times like these you could learn to change a little, but no, you are committed to this act." Pausing to catch her breath, "That's why you are alone, that's why I am alone." In Milas head, he would always be to blame, for everything.
where:Ā theĀ communityĀ garden,Ā cedarĀ grove when:Ā summer,Ā twoĀ monthsĀ post-outbreak,Ā morning who:Ā openĀ toĀ anyoneĀ inĀ communityĀ 1Ā !
heĀ hadĀ neverĀ beenĀ muchĀ ofĀ aĀ gardenerĀ beforeĀ theĀ outbreak,Ā heĀ leftĀ thatĀ kindĀ ofĀ stuffĀ toĀ hisĀ wife.Ā theyĀ didn'tĀ haveĀ aĀ wholeĀ lotĀ ofĀ landĀ andĀ itĀ wasn'tĀ theĀ mostĀ fertileĀ whereĀ theyĀ were,Ā butĀ sheĀ grewĀ whateverĀ sheĀ couldĀ withĀ whatĀ spaceĀ theyĀ didĀ have.Ā sheĀ hadĀ alwaysĀ beenĀ soĀ proudĀ ofĀ herself,Ā growingĀ aĀ goodĀ amountĀ ofĀ theirĀ ownĀ food.Ā itĀ hadĀ beenĀ aĀ passionĀ projectĀ sheĀ cameĀ upĀ withĀ shortlyĀ afterĀ theĀ birthĀ ofĀ theirĀ daughter.
butĀ inĀ thisĀ post-outbreakĀ life,Ā heĀ triedĀ toĀ applyĀ whatĀ sheĀ hadĀ taughtĀ himĀ toĀ thisĀ newĀ communityĀ heĀ wasĀ in.Ā itĀ wasĀ oneĀ ofĀ theĀ waysĀ toĀ helpĀ getĀ hisĀ mindĀ offĀ theĀ factĀ thatĀ heĀ hadĀ noĀ ideaĀ whatĀ herĀ orĀ theirĀ daughter'sĀ fateĀ was.Ā
he'sĀ crouchedĀ overĀ aĀ sproutingĀ cornĀ plant,Ā tryingĀ toĀ makeĀ sureĀ theĀ spaceĀ wasĀ appropriateĀ forĀ itĀ soĀ thatĀ itĀ wouldĀ flourish.Ā ifĀ they'reĀ goingĀ toĀ survive,Ā makingĀ sureĀ theyĀ haveĀ aĀ goodĀ foodĀ supplyĀ isĀ partĀ ofĀ that.Ā heĀ canĀ hearĀ footstepsĀ approachingĀ theĀ gardenĀ space,Ā andĀ heĀ looksĀ up,Ā havingĀ toĀ squintĀ asĀ theĀ sunĀ isĀ beamingĀ rightĀ intoĀ hisĀ eyes.Ā ācomeĀ toĀ help?āĀ heĀ asks,Ā thoughĀ hisĀ toneĀ isĀ prettyĀ flat.
The closest Mila got to a garden before her life got turned upside down was visiting the Farmers Market every Sunday. She would drag her teenage son along with her, complaining and all, to pick out the best fruits and vegetables and freshly baked bread. The garden here wasn't the same, nothing here was the same as it used to be on the outside. But she was learning to enjoy the little things in life, even if that feeling of unfairness and loss of control always lingered within it too.
Despite it all, she still found herself visiting the area daily. "Before I commit to helping, is just observing an option too?" She questioned, always trying to lighten the mood of the community with her small quips. Carefully, she leaned down and ran her thumb and pointer finger through a leaf hanging from its stem. "Did you garden before all of this?"
Spotting his ex wife close by he couldn't help but roll his eyes. Not because it's her but because he thought he'd taught her better than this. If he couldn't be around to look after her he needed her to look out for herself. He already lost his son and blamed himself everyday for it, he can't lose her too. He won't lose her. It was small things like this that would get her killed.
Walk up behind Mila he grabbed her from behind, his arms placed around her throat in a chokehold. "And now you're dead, Mila." He was being stern with her, he may be over reacting but to him this was literally life or death. The world was far more dangerous than it ever was before. "I thought I taught you better than this, than to sit around smelling the flowers." He still had her in a tight grip as he spoke, he could feel himself infuriated with the situation but it was moreso out of worry.
She listened to the birds singing around the skies as she smelt the flowers, her shoulders dropping as she relaxed for what felt like the first time in months. It probably was for the first time in months. For a second, Mila forgot what had happened to the world, to her son, to her. There was life again. Until arms wrapped around her, holding her neck in place so that nothing she did could make her move in their hold. That moment of peace was gone within seconds, a gasp full of pure terror escaped from her lips in its place. She could have swore that the world stopped turning just for a second.
Then annoyance took over, anger returned like it had never left. She didn't notice that her shoulders had dropped once again in his grasp, knowing that she was safe, because she was too busy trying to wriggle out from his touch. "Kaide, holy hell, you better let me go!" Her voice was at a quiet yell, but a stern one. "I am a grown woman, I can stop and smell the flowers if I damn well want to. Ain't nothing out here coming to attack me right now, except you!"
šššššš ššššššš ; mila levy & kaide levy.
ššššš: outside the gates. @kvidelevy
Even if todays world, Mila still stopped to smell the flowers. She knew that if she didn't take little things to enjoy during the day, she turned into someone she didn't know anymore. The grief, the anger, it would consume her completely and that was not going to be apart of her plan. Not as long as she could help it, she would control things. Crouching down right outside the walls of her found home, she ran her fingertips through the growing grass, letting them land on a bundle of unpicked wildflowers. She carefully plucked one from the ground, bringing it up to her nose to smell it. She let the sweet aroma take over her senses, closing her eyes for the moment as she remembered what it used to be like when she would smell the flowers before. She felt safe for the moment, as if the world around her wasn't something scary and unknown now. It also meant that she didn't hear the footsteps coming up from behind her either.

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MINKA KELLY via instagram
Is that MILA JANSEN-LEVY? Before the outbreak, the 46-year-old worked as a HAIR STYLIST. Those who have crossed paths with them describe them as MOTHERING, though pressure often reveals their BOSSY nature. They are often associated with CALLING EVERYONE 'HONEY', CROSSED ARMS AND A RAISED EYEBROW AFTER SAYING THEY WON'T JUDGE, TAKING CHARGE OF ANY JOB SHE'S ASSIGNED.