DAY 3 - SIZE DIFFERENCE

Steve has always been big.

You've been together since High School back in Hawkins. You have moved out with him as soon as you both graduated, because you both wanted to leave your parents behind. Everyone was sad you two left, especially Robin and Dustin, but they understood, and you two were also not far away.

But the problem appeared a month into living with him. When you hadn't presented at sixteen, you assumed you were a Beta, same process with Steve. You were so happy that you two got to share the same designation, because that meant that you would live in harmony, without the fear of instincts driving you wild.

And then, you presented.

It was a Thursday afternoon. You had been suffering a fever for a week, coughing, and sweating like crazy. You hadn't noticed how many times you had pressed your nose into Steve's clothing before washing them, pretending it was because you wanted to check if they were dirty or not. That's what you thought.

Steve found you, alarmed without knowing what to do. He wasn't prepared for it, and he tried to please you as best as he possibly could, but you desired more. For a week after your heat, he was depressed, thinking you would leave him. But you didn't. Your love for him was bigger than any instinct you had as an Omega.

The chances of Omegas staying with Betas were little, but not impossible. You took medicine to surpress Omegan urges, all of it so you could stay with Steve. He tried to tell you that you shouldn't sacrifice so much for him.

"You're worth it…" You said with a smile, and he kissed you senseless before making love to you the way he always did.

Steve, as a Beta was pretty big. Before, you adjusted, you familiarized with it, your body learnt to take it and enjoy it. That didn't change at all. It was still what you knew, what he gave you, what you always felt. Even as an Omega, he was able to fill you the same way he's done before.

And a month later… Steve presented. An Alpha.

You weren't present for his rut. You were out working, and when you returned home, he was still breathing heavily, naked on the bed, and your eyes fell right between his legs. He asked of you to not help him, that it already passed, and you saw how the sheets and your clothes were all stained, his seed all over it, his sweat, his drool.

Thanks to your suppressants, a heat didn't trigger when you saw him, but your nostrils could not help but flare at the scent. His scent had always been delicious, but now it was so intense, so addictive. You wanted to help him… but… but—

He had changed. He was bigger, thicker, and you were sure it was heavier. You remember the first few times Steve and you had sex. It was slow, gentle, until you could finally let go, after you could adjust to him. It wasn't what you remembered, yet it was.

You should be scared. You should be a little worried, but all you wanted was that. You wanted it. His strides changed, too, as if he needed more room to walk. You didn't tell him, but you decided to stop taking your suppressants. You shouldn't have done it without consulting the doctor, but you wanted your instincts to fully engulf in Steve.

Both of you sat on the couch, and you had been purring at Steve, lying on his chest, and he had heard your purrs before on him, but he knew what you wanted. He sighed, shaking his head, turning off the TV.

"Why did you turn it off?" You asked, and he looked down at you, an eyebrow raised.

"You are not paying attention to it." He said, and you pouted. Finally, he sighed, closing his eyes. "We don't have to… I know— I know it's not the same down there, and I don't want to hurt you…"

"But I want it… Are we just not going to have sex anymore?" You whined, and he ran a hand through his hair in despair, a tent already appearing in his pants at the simple word of it. You took notice of it, biting your bottom lip as your hand itched to get closer to it.

"I mean, no, but I'm just afraid, sweetheart. The last thing I want is hurt you, and I remember our first time, and I know it's gonna happen again. You were already tight when I thought I was a Beta… I can't imagine now… Fuck—" He threw his head back as images filled his brain, his cock twitching for attention, and the needy Omega of his girlfriend was not helping his state.

And you looked at his profile, hearts in your eyes, your slick starting to coat your underwear. You leaned forward, your lips pressing against his neck, and he growled in his throat, and he knew it wasn't something that could be ignored for long. Not when the love of his life was… mateable.

So, he carried you to your room, throwing you on the bed, undressing you with urgency as he kissed you senseless, and you couldn't be happier. You were purring, chirping, moaning his name as you finally felt that need and that itch being scratched.

"Alpha…" You breathed out, and he groaned onto your clit, your slick having called out for him to have a taste. He was drunk off of it, and he wanted more and more and more, and his tongue licked and slurped, taking everything you had to give.

He didn't want to stop, not even when you came undone underneath him and on his tongue. But his cock was asking for attention and the need to be engulfed in your heat. You were crying out his name as you finally unclenched from his fingers, three to be exact, and he could let go of you. He stood up to rip his pants off as well as his underwear, and your eyes were immediately drawn to him.

Red at the tip, pulsating, twitching, big and thick. It wasn't unfamiliar, but at the same time, you had awareness of it. You couldn't help but lick your lips as he doubted for a second before climbing over you. The head of his cock rubbed against your slit, and he cursed under his breath.

"You need to tell me if it's too much… If it hurts…" He pleaded, and you nodded wildly, wanting him inside of you no matter what and when he pushed in, your eyes widened, your mouth opening widely as you threw your head back.

Shit. Fuck. Fuck. It was stretching, it was burning, it was sort of painful, but you didn't want to stop. You wanted to adjust. You needed to adjust. This was your Alpha, and yours only, so your body will listen to you.

"Gh—" You were choking on your breath, on your saliva. Your head was spinning at the feeling, many emotions passing through it, and Steve, even in his euphoric state, held back. He was staring at your expressions, at the slight twitches as he sank in slowly, letting you adjust for a few seconds at each inch.

"Baby, Omega, talk to me—"

"Ke— p g— ng," You couldn't formulate full sentences, your breath being knocked out of you. He looked down between your bodies, and he was glad he only had a few inches left to go and bottom out inside of you.

But then he felt pressure, and you gasped. He stopped completely, shaking his head.

"No, this is all you can take, no more." He said, and your eyes snapped towards him, and your instincts drove you insane. You couldn't think properly, and you could feel your slick coating him more and more, and you could feel just how your hips burned, as if they were shifting slowly so you could take him completely.

And then you understood. His knot. You wanted to be knotted. And if he didn't bottom out, he was not going to.

Your body moved, a strength you shouldn't have as an Omega, and Steve was caught off guard when you tightened your thighs around his hips, and with your hands, you pushed him to the side, his cock never leaving your inside, and as soon as your knees hit the bed, straddling him, you slammed down on him.

You cried out, your hips hurting, your pelvis feeling like it was suddenly punched. You couldn't breathe, and Steve's soul left his body. Your head was thrown back, tears slipping to the sides of your face. You were full, more than full. You knew that if you looked down, you would be able to see the tip of his cock outline on your belly.

You were his Omega. He was your Alpha. Yours. And you were made to take him and only him. And if you could adjust once, you would adjust again.

"Holy fuck, shit, god!" He cursed, never having felt like this, his body engulfed in flames, in lava almost. You were pulsing around him, fluttering, and your hips shifted, slowly, side to side, making him groan, his hands grabbing at your thighs, his fingertips not realizing they were digging harshly into your skin.

And then, relief. Sudden relief. It was still punching your stomach outwards, but you smiled with satisfaction as you purred loudly, your hands slamming on his chest as you moved upwards, and then back down. You felt yourself trembling on top of him, slick falling onto his pelvis, at the base of his cock, and you didn't feel like the normal you. This was a feral version you never saw in your life.

Steve's chest rumbled in need, and as he saw the satisfaction in your face, he looked down to see the outline of the tip of his cock over your skin. So deep inside of you, where no one else would go. You were his. And you were deciding to adjust, forcing your body to accept him fully. And when you moved a few times, it felt like something clicked in his head. In his body.

And he flipped you over, his hips moving faster, and your moans grew louder, and louder, purring, whimpering, crying, begging for more, and more.

"Steve— Fuck! Alpha, please, please, please," You panted heavily, and Steve lost his mind, ramming into you like a madman. Your slickness was making him slide in and out easily, and he knew you were staining the sheets below him, and he couldn't be happier. Your scent, your arousal, your need for him, made him pulsate.

"I'm gonna knot, shit— Baby, Omega," And you knew it was going to be painful, you were aware, and yet you were not scared. In fact, you wanted it so you could learn to take it. To learn to have it always. To learn so it would someday take.

You nodded desperately, and you gasped as it started forming, pain surging over your body, your hips, your walls, and yet it was so satisfying. You cried out with a hiss, nails digging into his shoulders as he grew and grew, and he apologized at each second with grunts, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

Not when he comes the way he does inside of you, and you milk him dry. Not when he locked in inside of you, and you rubbed your belly to caress the outline of his cock over your skin. He was breathing heavily, lying on his side and holding you close, waiting for his knot to go down.

"I'm sorry for hurting you… I'm… I bet it hurts even now…" He voiced out, and you looked up at him, drunk on your Alpha.

"I'll adjust… We just have to do this over and over again, Stevie…"

He wipes the surfaces clean and makes sure that the space is clear of any dust or dirt before he gets one of the mattresses from upstairs, carrying it down into the living room, the plastic cover all over it crinkling with the movement. It would feel weird to use someone else’s bedroom. He places the mattress close to the fireplace that he plans on lighting up later. 

“I found some clean sheets; they were inside zipped plastic bags.” Nancy walks into the living room. 

“Cool.” Steve nods at her, giving her a small smile. He lifts his hand and runs it through his hair, taking a deep breath. 

Nancy puts the sheets down on the coffee table and reaches for one of the pillows. She cocks an eyebrow at Steve, taking in his restless figure as he looks around the room. 

“Don’t tell me you are nervous, Steve.” Nancy chuckles as her eyes flicker in amusement. 

Steve narrows his eyes at her. She looks down, picking up the sheets, she throws them towards him. 

He catches them with a sigh, shaking his head at the teasing look on her face. Just like Eddie. 

But yes, he is nervous. It’s gonna be your first time together, your first time with him, your very first time. He wants and needs it to be perfect for you. He wants you to feel as comfortable as possible. He wants you to feel safe, happy. 

“I can’t believe I’m helping you get laid.” 

Steve rolls his eyes at the tone in her voice, though a chuckle falls from his lips. He had known her for such a long time now; she would have never made such jokes back then. He knows it’s Eddie’s influence and her bond with him; he is rubbing off on her. Or… Robin’s influence. 

“Wheeler, who would have thought you’d ever speak like that.” 

Nancy snorts at him as she watches him spread the sheets over the mattress. She looks around, noting the candles he gathered before. She starts spreading them around the living room. 

“Who would have thought that I’d help you take someone’s virginity.” Nancy jokes, chuckling to herself when he snorts. 

“Don’t make it sound like I’m sacrificing a virgin tonight, Jesus Christ!” Steve mumbles. 

The girl laughs at the dramatic tone in his voice. She passes by the window and takes a look outside. Her eyes light up in amusement when she sees Eddie clapping his hands at you as you siphon gas from a car. 

“I just need it to be perfect.” Steve murmurs, pulling her attention away from you and back to him. 

“It’s gonna be perfect.” Nancy smiles at him, placing the last candles on the coffee table. “You worry so much about it when there’s no need to. You got a perfect house for the night, you set up the room nicely,” she gestures around herself, pointing to the string lights he found in the bedroom. “You even got her Kitkats, and you’re making what, pasta for dinner? I checked the stove, and there’s some gas left; you can prepare it there. Sounds like a perfect first date considering the world we live in!” 

Steve’s shoulders slump a little as the tension wears off. He can’t help the nervousness inside of him when it comes to you. You deserve more than just perfect. 

“Do you think she’ll like it?” Steve asks, scratching the back of his neck. 

Nancy breathes out as she tilts her head. She had never seen him like that. In all those years she had known him, she had never seen him be this nervous over anything. A smile tugs at her lips, “she will love it. She would have loved just the RV because it’s with you, that girl is obsessed with you, Steve!” 

Steve’s lips curl into a smile, and he tilts his head down. The feeling is so very mutual. He nods his head, “okay yeah, you’re right.” 

“I’m always right.” Nancy mumbles, making Steve snort. “Besides, once we get to California, you can take her on a picnic date at the beach!” 

Steve smiles at that, nodding. He can’t wait to get to California, to have that peace with you. He feels safe with you, and you feel safe with him, but you are still out here, where anything could happen at any moment. You still have to look over your shoulders, risk your lives driving through unknown territories, and he can’t wait for that to be over. 

Nancy fixes the curtains while Steve starts preparing the bed, taking the plastic cover off, making the mattress free of dust, and putting the fresh sheets on. A smile tugs at her lips when she watches you and Eddie laughing about something. She crosses her arms over her chest, her eyes linger on you for a moment before she looks back at Steve, whose brows are tugged together in concentration. 

She notices the light flush in his cheeks, the color that came back into his face because of you. It’s been a second since he finally pulled himself together and made you his. When she saw how he attached himself to you after, how scared and anxious he seemed whenever you weren’t around for even just five minutes, she started to realize. It’s something she meant to talk to him about, something she meant to apologize for. 

“I get it now…”

Steve glances at her, still with the same concentrated look on his face, “huh?”

“Why you were afraid… Why you initially rejected her.” 

“I don’t–”

“I was the same, behind closed doors that is.” Nancy reveals, uncrossing her arms. “When Robin passed, I just holed myself up when no one was watching. I pretended to be okay because I knew she would want me to be okay for my mom and my siblings…” 

Steve gets up from his crouched position. His eyes flash with sympathy, “Nancy…” 

Nancy blinks, not wanting to tear up in front of him. She hates crying in front of others. She clears her throat. 

“And then when she was gone… I gave up on the idea of moving on… I-I gave up on trying to look for someone else because, it’s the fucking end of the world right?” Her laughter is humorless, watery. She is fighting the tears now, thinking about her. 

Steve stays quiet, watching the sadness burst in her eyes. He never knew she was going through the same thing he was going through. 

“And then she appeared.” Nancy says softly, glancing at you again. “Seeing her… have these eyes for you made me feel so nostalgic… To the point where I realized I wanted to feel it again. I wanted to– I wanted to feel alive, and yearn, and feel human.” 

Guilt rushes through him when he realizes how badly he treated her back in Wyoming. He closes his eyes and runs his hand down his face. 

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t– You were trying to move on. I didn’t– I shouldn’t have said what I said to you…” 

Nancy shakes her head at him, “I deserved it… besides, I wasn’t trying to move on with Tommy,” she chuckles, though her cheeks burn a little. “I think that she made me feel alive again. I grew protective of her. She is my best friend, but Eddie was right, you were there first, and I was so angry at you for hurting her, I didn’t even glance at you or think about how you must have been feeling… and now I know why you really pushed her away. You were scared.”

“It’s okay, Nancy.” Steve gives her a nod. “I’m not angry at you.”

She smiles at him, taking a deep breath before she continues, “I-I think I would be the same. If I found someone like her, after losing Robin… I think I would be afraid to the point of pushing them away too…”

Steve shakes his head, smiling. “You would have Eddie to kick your ass and also me because I would not stand by and watch you make the same mistake.” 

Nancy chuckles. She tilts her head and scratches the back of her neck. 

Steve looks over her shoulder, smiling at the sound of your laughter that he can hear through the crack of the open window. 

“I just… I feel like I was at the right place at the right time when she stumbled out of those bushes…” Steve smiles, recalling the day you first met. 

Nancy smiles, “and it was Eddie’s turn. Remember? You weren’t supposed to patrol that night.”

“Yeah… I remember.” Steve whispers. 

He had to be the one to see you first. 

The door creaks open, and Steve nearly panics, thinking it’s you. He doesn’t want you to see any of this yet. It’s supposed to be a surprise. He sighs in relief when Eddie waltzes in, wiping his hands with a rag. 

Eddie wiggles his eyebrows at Steve, unable to hold back his chuckle. 

“Your girlfriend sucks like a hoover.” 

“Excuse me–”

Nancy rolls her eyes and shakes her head at her best friend. 

“She needs a little practice, but hey, we got a lot of gas now thanks to her. It was fun watching her; she choked a little at first, but got the hang of it pretty quickly.” The metalhead grins, nudging Steve’s shoulder as he stops beside him. 

“This… You just had to say it this way, didn’t you?” Steve grumbles, squinting his eyes at his friend. 

Eddie chuckles, clapping his hand on Steve’s shoulder. 

“Shouldn’t you be out there with her to make sure that she won’t come inside?” Steve raises his eyebrows at him. 

Eddie takes a look around, his eyes settle on the bed, and he instantly begins to wiggle his eyebrows, “oh you are so ready to get in there, aren’t ya?”

Nancy holds back her laughter as she looks between them, her eyes crinkle when Steve scrunches his nose up at Eddie. 

She clears her throat, making them both look at her. 

“You know what, I go and distract Sunshine, and you,” she points at Eddie. “You help Steve with the rest.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Eddie salutes, grinning at her. 

“You got this, Steve.” Nancy says, chuckling when she sees the annoyance on his face at the teasing smile Eddie directs at him. She walks out and shuts the door. 

Steve stands there with his hands on his hips. He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath before he looks at Eddie again. 

“It’s been so long, you’re basically a virgin too now, Steve.” Eddie snickers. 

Steve gives him a deadpan look. 

“Okay, okay…” Eddie holds his hands up. “So how can I help?” 

-

Nancy finds you in the garage that is connected to the house. You are humming a song as you fill up the gas tank. A smile tugs on her face as she watches you – you have no idea what is going on. So far, you still believe that you are here for a one day break to fill up on gas, supplies, and to get some proper rest. 

“Oh hey!” You grin when you notice her. “What’s up?” 

“I checked out some houses.” Nancy shrugs, “I was hoping I’d find more guns but…”

“No luck?” You frown, closing the gas tank and setting down the canister. 

Nancy shakes her head and purses her lips as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Nope.”

“I mean, we found a good amount of things yesterday already.” You shrug, being optimistic as always. “Plus, we are here to get some rest, right?”

“Right.” Nancy nods, smiling at you. 

“We’re gonna eat some great food tonight, maybe have a drink or two – ooh! Do you think we can take a shower in the house? Maybe we can check it out!”

Nancy’s eyes widen. You can’t go in there, not yet. 

“No, unfortunately, there isn’t any warm water… I checked already.” Nancy lies, almost feeling bad when disappointment flashes in your eyes. 

“RV shower it is.” You sigh. 

“I know, I can’t wait to take a bath again when we’re finally in California! It’s gonna feel so rewarding!” 

A groan falls from your lips as you tilt your head back, “I used to love taking baths! I’d stay in there forever and make it a spa day.”

“All while playing Madonna, wearing a face mask while shaving your legs?” Nancy asks, giggling. 

Your eyes light up and you nod, “exactly!” 

“You could do that right now!” Nancy smiles at you, trying to give you a hint without giving the surprise away, but she knows you packed the razor and moisturizers for a reason. “I mean, not a bath, but you can take a long shower and just… do everything you didn’t have the time to do in the past few months!”

“We can’t waste too much water, Nance.” You sigh, though it does sound tempting. 

“There’s cold water coming from the taps inside… just no warm water, we can stock up on it later on.” Nancy shrugs, smiling. “I shaved my legs last night after months! They feel so smooth again!” 

You hum as you take a look at the RV. You grabbed so many things yesterday, new bodywash, moisturizer, soap. 

“You know what, I’m gonna do that.” You cave in, smiling in excitement. “But first, I wanna see what Steve is up to.” 

You don’t even manage to take a step forward before Nancy stops you again. She shakes her head, waving her hand, “oh no no, go and take your shower! Steve and Eddie are…” she pauses as she grabs your shoulders and pushes you towards the RV, ignoring the confused look on your face. “They’re getting a new battery for the RV. Boring stuff!” She laughs. 

“I–”

“You go and uh enjoy the shower while you can before Eddie comes back and uses up all your vanilla scented stuff!” 

“Do I smell or something?” You laugh as you step inside the RV. 

“No,” Nancy chuckles. “I just want you to enjoy that peaceful shower for a change.” 

She’s got a point there. You don’t get many chances to take long showers, let alone do any self-care, while you’re on the road. The longest shower you were able to take was seven minutes long, and even that was ‘too long’ according to Eddie. 

“What are you gonna do?” You ask as you grab some fresh underwear and clothes. 

“Uh, I think I’m gonna just relax…” She trails off, reaching for some random magazine before she plops down in the passenger seat. She kicks off her boots and stretches them out onto the armrest of the driver's seat, “right here…” She grins.

You giggle at her, shaking your head at her display. 

“We can paint each other’s nails later!” Nancy smiles, flipping through the magazine. 

“I’d love that, but first…” You reach for the body wash and moisturizer you hid from Eddie. “I’m gonna smell like a vanilla pound cake in a second.” 

“Oh, a pound cake for sure,” Nancy murmurs behind the magazine, holding back a grin. 

“Did you say something?” You ask, one foot into the bathroom. 

“No, no.” Nancy shakes her head at you, smiling. You don’t seem to suspect anything yet, not even with the lack of Steve’s presence, which seems surprising considering how much he hates to be away from you. 

“Alright.” You give her a smile before you step into the bathroom and close the door. 

Eddie walks in a few minutes later, looking around for you. 

Nancy glances at him over the magazine, raising an eyebrow, “she’s in the shower.”

“Ah.” Eddie nods as a smirk grows on his lips. 

“What are you smirking about, Munson?” 

He shakes his head as he starts looking through the drawers, in search of something, “nothing, nothing.” 

Nancy squints her eyes at him, waiting for him to spill whatever is on his mind. 

His tongue pokes out from between his lips, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he fumbles through the knives, “got it.” He grins, grabbing a pair of scissors. He turns back around, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. 

“What are you doing with those?” 

“Playing hairdresser.” He wiggles his eyebrows. 

Nancy’s jaw drops in surprise, she puts down the magazine, and leans forward. 

“He’s letting you cut his hair?” She gasps. “Steve Harrington is letting someone touch his hair. You!?” 

Eddie almost looks offended, and he places his hand against his chest. “Why wouldn’t he? I give my uncle the best haircuts.” 

“Your uncle is bald.” Nancy states.

Eddie rolls his eyes, “that was sarcasm, Wheeler.” He shakes his head as he makes his way towards the door. “We still have a long way to go – besides, I always do my hair and I look hot as hell.”

Nancy rolls her eyes at his cockiness, but he has a point. His ends were not split at all, because he made sure to trim them every once in a while. 

“Alright, I’ll go get my guy ready for–”

“Don’t be a pervert.” Nancy points at him, and he instantly stops wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Alright grandma.” Eddie rolls his eyes before a smirk makes its way on his face again. “Are you ready for a cozy night here with me? I’ll grab some candles for us, make it romantic–”

“Go!” Nancy throws the magazine at him, making him step out before it hits him in the head. His laughter echoes in the garage before he disappears into the house, slamming the door shut. 

She shakes her head and gets up with a sigh, reaching for the magazine again, she sits back down, “idiot.” She murmurs. 

-

It dawned on you in the shower that something was going on. You haven’t seen Steve all day, and every time you tried to go look for him, either Eddie or Nancy would stop you. He never even leaves your side for five minutes, let alone for this long. 

You are clueless sometimes, but not this much. You try not to dwell on it too long, not wanting to wonder about what your boyfriend is planning, not wanting to ruin that surprise for yourself and him. 

Nancy insists on doing your hair after painting your nails, and you almost feel a little ridiculous doing all that in a world where you have to fight to survive every second of every day. Yet you can’t help but enjoy that moment of peace, that moment that gives you a glimpse of the old world where you didn’t have all that. A friend who takes care of you like this. A friend like Eddie, who is always there to cheer you up and make you laugh. A boyfriend who treats you gently, who looks at you the way you look at him. 

“Where’s your head at?” Nancy asks as she brushes your hair. 

“I don’t know… I just… This feels nice,” you shrug as you look down at your nails. “All this, I mean.” 

Nancy nods, smiling down at you, “we’re gonna have more of this in California.” 

“Yeah…”

Nancy notices the hesitation in your voice and the worried look on your face. She pauses, putting the hairbrush aside for a moment. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You shake your head, furrowing your eyebrows as annoyance creeps up in you for feeling that sliver of pessimism. “I don’t know, I just– things have been going so well lately… No monsters, no bad people, no infected, now this place? I-I don’t know, I can’t help but feel like something is waiting around the corner.”

Nancy’s eyes flash with sympathy. Her chest aching a bit at the feelings you are dealing with. It’s not even about this world. It’s about your past life, and the things that got taken out of your hand every time things were going great. 

She nudges your shoulder as she settles down beside you. She offers you a kind smile, “Sunshine… where’s that optimism we all love so much?” 

You take a deep breath and exhale, smiling a bit at her question. 

“That’s my kinda thing, to worry and be negative.” Nancy jokes, reaching for your hand. “You’re the hope!” 

“The hope?” You chuckle, turning to face her. 

“Yeah!” She nods in honesty. “Don’t lose that part now.” 

You nod, taking a deep breath as you push aside the fear creeping up on you. 

“I won’t.” 

“Good.” Nancy smiles and squeezes your hand before she gets up again and picks up the hairbrush. “Don’t start to doubt yourself now. You proved time and time again that you can beat this world, Sunshine.” 

You can beat this world. 

Your dad said the same thing to you. The last time you talked to him, he was so worried, you were on the other side of the country, and he could do nothing but talk to you on the phone as you were packing your things to leave the city. Talks of the military bombing places with huge crowds made him call you in panic. You promised to get out of there as soon as you could. Your brother was panicking in the background as the first bombings were announced on the radio. Your mom was crying. 

You promised that you would come home, and your dad believed you. You remember his last words before the line cut off; You can beat this world, Sweetheart.

“Yeah, I can.” 

You take a few deep breaths and close your eyes. Now is not the time to worry, to be negative, and think about things that haven’t and won’t happen. 

“Just a couple of more weeks and we’re in California!” Nancy smiles. “Have you thought about where you will stay?”

“What do you mean?” You ask. 

“I mean, in the community, are you gonna stay with your family or… with Steve?” 

Oh. 

The truth is, you haven’t thought about that yet. Steve hasn’t asked you to stay with him, but it’s been implied, and the thought of not being with him makes you feel uneasy. 

“We haven’t talked about that yet, but… I can’t imagine being without him. What about you? Are you gonna stay with your family or…?”

Nancy chuckles behind you. She picks a few pieces of your hair and starts braiding it. 

“Well, I’d love to be your roommate, but I doubt that Steve will allow that. I’m gonna warn you, with the way he clings to you now, he won’t get a place without you.” 

Your heart flutters in your chest and your cheeks heat up. You want that. 

“But yeah, I miss my mom and my siblings. I know they have a house there and an empty room waiting for me.” 

“That sounds nice too though.” You smile. “I wonder if Eddie will stay with his uncle or go live with his Sweetheart.”

“You still believe he has a sweetheart?” Nancy scoffs.

“He does!” You exclaim, giggling. “He told me all about… their story!” 

“Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it, Sunshine.” Nancy snorts as she ties a hair tie around the lone braid in your hair. She taps your shoulder, “now come on, get up.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

You get up and turn to face her. A smile is lingering on her face when she leans closer and brushes her fingers through your hair. She takes a step back and looks you up and down. 

“Hold on.” She murmurs before she brushes past you and towards her backpack. 

You chuckle and shake your head. Now you are certain that something is going on, especially when she pulls out the yellow sundress you eyed in the little boutique yesterday. 

“Nancy!” You gasp, staring at it wide eyed. 

She walks back to you and holds it out for you. “You really wanted it, so I just had to get it.”

Your eyes soften as they flicker between her face and the dress. 

“And… I know you’re not as clueless as you pretend to be right now…” She laughs softly. “Steve’s waiting for you in there.” She says with a warm but teasing smile.

Oh. 

So this is happening tonight. It’s not just a little date night, it’s so much more than that. 

Your cheeks heat up at the realization. Excitement and nerves spread through your whole body, and you can’t help but squeal as you wrap your arms around Nancy, making the girl giggle as she hugs you back. 

“No one’s ever been this excited to get laid.” Nancy laughs, squeezing you tightly before she lets you go again so you can get dressed. 

“Shut up.” You murmur, laughing. You lock yourself in the bathroom and quickly take off your clothes. You fold your jeans and your sweater and put them aside. You kick off your boots and reach for the dress. A smile tugs at your lips as you begin to put it on. The mirror in here is too small for you to see much of the dress, but you stop as you are about to pull the straps up your arms. 

You bite your lip as you think of Steve’s reaction to the dress and what’s underneath… or what isn’t. You reach behind and unclasp your bra, taking it off and placing it on top of your sweater. Goosebumps rise on your skin when you think of his bare hands on your body, of his bare skin on your own… 

You breathe in shakily as you finish putting the dress on. You look down at it, smoothing down the material. Your heart beats stronger in your chest, wondering what he will think. 

When you walk back out again, you are startled by Eddie’s presence in the doorway.

“Goddamn, Sunshine.” Eddie whistles as he looks you up and down. “I might have to switch places with Steve cause…” He whistles again as he takes a step closer. 

You shake your head at him, blushing at the comment. 

“You are gorgeous!” Eddie grins at you. 

“Thank you,” you giggle and purse your lips. You glance at Nancy, who is smiling at you. 

“Yeah, you are gorgeous.” She nods, putting her hand on her cheek. “I feel like a proud mother.”

You and Eddie laugh at her, shaking your heads, and then Eddie opens his unfiltered mouth. 

“Proud that she’s getting dicked down tonight?” 

“Eddie!” You gasp and slap his shoulder. Your cheeks heat up at his words and his laughter. “You are such a perv! Maybe Steve doesn’t even want to–”

“Sunshine.” Eddie gives you a pointed look as his eyes move up and down your body. “Don’t finish that sentence. Now go, don’t leave your man waiting.” He grins as he grabs your shoulders and pushes you towards the door. 

“Wait–” You mumble, looking down at your bare legs. “It’s too cold for just the dress–”

“Honey, it’s not cold in there, besides that dress isn’t staying on you for long.”

You look over your shoulder, glaring at him while Nancy chuckles in the back. She takes a few steps closer to Eddie and reaches out to pinch your cheek, “go get him, tiger.” 

You shake your head at them both. As you’re about to step out, you wonder about them. You turn back around, frowning as you look between them. 

“Wait, what about you two?”

Eddie wraps his arm around Nancy’s shoulder, “oh, don’t worry about us. We got condoms too.”

Nancy slaps his chest, “oh my god, you’re disgusting! Don’t listen to him.”

You giggle at the annoyance on her face. 

“We are staying here. Don’t worry, the area is safe. We did another perimeter check. We shut the gates,” he gestures to the closed garage gate. “We’re gonna make some food and relax, but you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about anything tonight.”

You bite your lip and nod, taking a deep breath. 

“Now go!” Nancy smiles at you.

“Okay,” you whisper, smiling at them both before you turn around and finally make your way out of the RV. Once you walk through the door that leads into the house, Nancy and Eddie turn to face each other with satisfied smiles on their faces. 

“We make a great team.” Eddie says proudly, high fiving the girl. 

“We do.” Nancy nods. 

-

The house is dark, the sun has already set a while ago. You follow the golden flickers of light coming from the living room, the sound of music, and the smell of food. Your lips curl into a smile. Your heartbeat quickens even more the closer you get to him. Nancy was right, the house is warm, and the closer you get to where the lights are brightest, it just gets warmer.

You pass by a mirror in the hallway and take a quick look at yourself. It’s too dark to really see yourself, but you already knew you would love the dress. The boots, in contrast, look a little silly, and you contemplate kicking them off, but you doubt that Steve will care about that. 

“Sunshine?” 

You tear your eyes away from your reflection and step away from the mirror. You follow his voice and step into the living room. The sight of it all steals your breath – the burning candles spread around the room, the string lights hanging from the ceiling, the flames burning in the fireplace, the round dining table in the corner with two glasses and a bottle of wine. And then, there’s a mattress in the middle of the room, close to the fireplace, two pillows, and a huge blanket covering it. It looks cozy. It’s perfect. 

While you are taking in the sight before you, Steve is taking you in. His hazel eyes are wide and soft as he stares at you. His heart is beating so strongly against his ribcage, chest warming at the sight before him. A smile appears on his face as he takes a step closer to you. 

“Wow.” You both whisper at the same time. Your eyes lock, and your giggles sound through the room. 

“You are so beautiful, Sunshine.” Steve whispers as he takes your hand and brings your arm up, “give me a twirl.” 

You giggle at him, squeezing his hand, and you twirl around. 

Steve holds back a groan when your dress lifts up and he catches a glimpse of the black lace on your skin. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you against him, cupping your cheeks. He looks down at you with a smile. 

“Pretty girl.” He whispers, tucking your hair behind your ear. He smiles when you grow flustered beneath his gaze. “I missed you today.”

“I missed you.” You whisper as you rise to your tippy toes and press your lips against his, greeting him with a sweet kiss that he happily reciprocates. You end it too soon for his liking, his lips follow yours when you pull away again, and they quickly curl into a pout when you don’t continue the kiss. You peck his lips once more before you lean in for a hug, placing your head on his chest, you look around the room with a smile on your face. 

“So that’s why Eddie and Nancy kept me from seeing you.” 

Steve kisses the top of your head before he leans his chin there, smiling nervously, “they helped, well– Nancy helped setting up the room.” 

You look down at the makeshift bed again and a giggle falls from your lips when you tilt your head back to look up at him, “Nancy helped?” 

Steve meets your eyes and looks down at the amused smile on your lips. He scrunches his face up and scratches the back of his neck when it dawns on him. 

“Now that you mention it, it sounds kind of weird,” he murmurs, making you giggle again. “I think she would have fought to be in my place right now though.” He says cockily. 

You roll your eyes at him, biting your lip to keep yourself from smiling. 

Steve smiles at you so fondly as he once again takes in the sight of you. He cups the side of your face, brushing his thumb against your cheek. His eyes move down to your pretty dress, the thin straps on your shoulders, touching your soft skin. He leans down, unable to stop himself from kissing your shoulder and your neck. He inhales your sweet scent and his heart flutters wildly. 

“You smell so good, baby.” He murmurs against your skin, making you shiver. He pulls back again, the smile never fading on his face. 

“So do you,” you whisper, noting the cologne he is wearing tonight. “You shaved.” You point out, reaching up to touch his soft cheek. Your eyes roam his face, and then his hair that is now much shorter than it was before, still long enough to grab but it’s not a mullet anymore. “And you cut your hair!” You exclaim as you reach up to run your fingers through it. 

Steve blushes, and his chest feels all fuzzy when you touch his hair. 

“Do you like it?” He asks, reaching down to grab your waist. “Eddie cut it, so if you don’t, please kick his ass.” 

“I love it!” You smile. “You’re so handsome.”

Steve’s eyes light up at your compliment. His stomach flutters, and his heart skips a beat at the flustered look on your face. 

“And you are gorgeous.” Steve whispers, squeezing your waist. “Now come on, before the food gets cold.” His hand moves to your lower back, and he begins to lead you towards the round table. He pulls back the chair for you and grabs a thin blanket to cover your bare shoulders once you’re sat. 

“What’s for dinner?” You ask, wrapping the blanket tighter around yourself, feeling a bit cold in the thin dress, even with the fire burning. 

Steve walks towards the kitchen counter, he grabs the plates he already cleaned and prepared, and starts filling them up, “guess.” He grins at you over his shoulder. 

“Rice and beans?” You ask, chuckling. 

Rice, beans, tuna, and corn are the only things you have been surviving on for the past two years. Sometimes when you get lucky, you’ll find some stale chips, cereal or candy but that’s all. You miss proper meals, the ones you had in Hawkins, or maybe Wyoming. But most of all, you miss the food you had before the world went to shit. You miss pizza, pasta, fries – especially fries. You miss coffee and pastries. 

Your lips part in surprise, and your eyes widen when Steve places a plate of pasta before you. The tomato sauce smells fresh, making your mouth water. You can’t remember the last time you had pasta, let alone with sauce. 

“I– how?” You mumble, looking up at your boyfriend, who is now across from you, watching you with a smile on his face. 

“I found the pasta at a grocery store a while back, and then I found canned tomatoes in another store a few days ago, along with some herbs and seasoning – that shelf was completely stocked, so I had a lot of options.” Steve chuckles as he pours you a glass of white wine. “I saved all that stuff for a moment like this. Don’t worry, I gave Eddie and Nancy some too– whoa, baby what’s wrong?” He panics when he notices the tears in your eyes. He instantly puts down the bottle of wine and makes his way over to you, kneeling down before you as he reaches for your hand. “Sunshine…” He whispers softly, noticing how you are trying to blink away the tears. “What happened?” The tone in his voice is so soft, so caring, just like the look in his eyes, and it only heightens your emotions. 

You squeeze his hand and turn towards him, shaking your head with a smile. 

“Nothing, I’m just so happy, Steve.” You whisper as you bring his hands up to your lips, kissing his knuckles. “You did all this for me… You managed to do all this,” you gesture around yourself and then the dinner table. “In the world we live in now.” 

Steve’s eyes soften, yet his heart aches when he realizes what you are getting at. Nobody had ever done these things to you in the old world, when things like these used to be so easy and simple to do. It’s something you wished for, something you craved, but only got through reading books or watching movies. Steve knows you are a hopeless romantic, like him. 

And like him, you didn’t get the love that you deserved. 

Every day, he wakes up feeling grateful to have found you. You give him everything that he always wished for, that he thought he would never have, and it scares him so badly because you are still out here, and still so far away from safety. 

But one thing he knows is that you will both make it to California, and you will have this every night, no matter what happens, you will get this every night, he will fight like crazy to make sure that it happens. 

“I would do anything for you, Sunshine.” Steve whispers, raising his hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear before he wipes your tear away softly. He isn’t sure if you know just what he would do for you. 

“I would do anything for you too, Steve.” You whisper and lean down to press your forehead against his. “These are not sad tears, I’m just so happy that I found you.” 

The emotions in your voice, the softness of your touch, and the look in your eyes prove to him that you are on the very same page – you are not just bound by circumstance. It makes his heart swell knowing that you feel the same about him. 

“Yeah?” Steve smiles, feeling his own eyes burning now. “I’m happy you stumbled into me and offered to sing Madonna.”

A giggle falls from your lips, and your eyes crinkle, “you remember that?” 

“Of course I remember!” He laughs, squeezing your hands. “You offered to get naked.” 

You slap his shoulder softly when he wiggles his eyebrows at you. 

“Took you long enough to accept that offer,” you giggle, gesturing to the bed. “Let’s eat now, I’m starving!” 

Steve’s eyes darken at your teasing. He hums as he gets up again. He leans down and kisses your temple, running his fingers through your hair before he sits down across from you again. 

He watches in anticipation as you take your first bite. Your eyes widen, and then they roll back as you moan loudly. His stomach flutters at the sound, and he shifts in his seat. 

“Steve… that is so good!” You hold your hand in front of your mouth. “I’m sorry, but you will be the one cooking dinner every night once we’re in California.” 

You are unaware of what those words do to him, of how they make his heart flutter. 

“Oh Honey, you know I’m gonna take good care of you.” He winks at you and picks up the fork, taking his first bite as well. 

You blush at his words, knowing he means more than just dinner. 

But you want to take care of him too, and you will show him that, with time. 

“Only you could make a good pasta from scratch.”

Steve smiles at your words, his cheeks burning beneath the golden light. 

“I always liked to cook, I can’t wait to get my hands on some real ingredients so I can make a full course meal for you.” He says, reaching for your hand. 

“This is perfect, Steve.” You squeeze his hand. “You’re gonna have to teach me some of your favorite dishes so I can surprise you for dinner.”

His hazel eyes soften, and that warm feeling in his chest spreads further. The thought of coming home to you after a long day of work makes him feel like he has accomplished everything in life. 

“I will.” He promises.

“I always liked to bake more. Cooking is nice, but I was always more of a baker.”

“Well, I guess I cook and you make the desserts, baby.” He hums, caressing the top of your hand with his thumb.

“Mhmm,” you nod as you reach for the wine glass. You hold his gaze as you take a sip. 

A smile lingers on his face as he looks into your eyes. The golden light from the fire kisses your skin so beautifully. The blanket on your shoulders falls when you giggle at something he says, exposing your bare skin that he can’t wait to kiss and touch. He feels a kind of happiness he never thought he would from just sitting across from you, his ears blessed by the sound of your voice and your sweet laughter. 

Despite the lingering fear of the future, he is also excited for it – excited for a future with you. 

Even when the plates are empty and you are both on the second glass of your wine, do you still sit at the dinner table, talking and laughing with each other, enjoying the time alone. You ramble about random things, and he lets you, watching you with an adoring smile on his face the whole time, asking questions that you so happily answer. 

He wants to capture this moment, another one to keep in his pocket. You giggle and blush when he stands up in search of the polaroid camera he had grabbed from the RV this morning. 

“Steve…” You give him a bashful smile, hiding your face behind your hands when he points the camera at you. 

“Hey now,” Steve whispers, reaching for your hands, he gently pulls them away. “Don’t hide from me.”

“You’re making me blush!” 

“And you look adorable,” Steve smiles, watching as you fix your hair and reach for your wine glass. His eyes follow your every movement, softening whenever they meet yours. You adjust the straps of your sundress. He finds it so endearing to watch you do the simplest things. Everything you do makes his heart beat stronger. 

Steve slowly lifts the camera again, the smile never fading as he takes a picture. 

“I wasn’t ready! I probably look stupid.” 

Steve chuckles at the cute frown on your face. He waits for the picture to develop, “honey, you never look stupid, don’t even– oh yeah, I’m definitely putting that one in my pocket.” He looks down at it with an adoring smile on his face, putting the camera on the table as he holds the polaroid picture. 

You reach for the camera, taking the chance to snap a picture of him while he is distracted. 

Steve looks so handsome in his white sweater, skin kissed by the golden light, and his freshly cut hair. Despite it being shorter now, there’s still that one curl falling over his forehead. His hazel eyes shine with so much adoration and care, on this night especially. He is yours, all yours. 

Steve faces you with a surprised look on his face when the flash and the snap go off. Realization flashes in his eyes when he notices the camera in your hands. 

“I want one of you too!” You give him a cheeky smile. 

Steve chuckles. He takes another look at your picture before he places it down on the table. He reaches for your hand and pats his thigh with his other, “come here, we should take one together.” 

You don’t need to be told twice. You get up and step towards him. You wrap your arm around his shoulder as he grabs your waist and pulls you down to sit on his lap. You giggle in excitement, “I’ve always wanted a picture with you! Oh– look, you’re so handsome!” You grab the picture you took of him. 

Normally, he would groan if someone else took a picture of him, but not with you. He doesn’t even glance at it, his eyes are solely on you and the way your own eyes are filled with nothing but awe. 

He doesn’t even notice when you put it down and you lift the camera up, angling it towards the two of you. You lean towards him, smiling into the camera. 

“Ready?” 

Steve only hums in response. He squeezes your waist, smiling up at you in adoration as you direct your smile at the camera. You are so pretty. He just wants to grab your face and kiss you until you are both out of breath. The moment the flash goes off and the picture is taken, Steve takes it from your hand and puts it on the table. He cups your cheeks and surprises you with a deep kiss. 

You instantly melt into it, sighing in contentment as you wrap both arms around him. Your fingers sink into his hair, and you give it a tug, earning a groan from him that makes your lower stomach flutter. It won’t be the only one you will hear tonight. He swipes his tongue along your bottom lip, and you let him in. You part your lips and let him slip his tongue into your mouth. The taste of wine and the desire lingering between you. 

Steve’s skin is burning beneath his clothes, blood rushing through his body at the sound of your whimper. He already feels weak in the knees from just this. He will lose his mind tonight. 

He picks you up by your waist and gets up without breaking the kiss. He smiles against your lips when you get on your tippy toes, the moment your feet are back on the ground. You mewl against him, kissing him deeply and sensually as you take the first step back and towards the makeshift bed. His stomach flutters, knowing what is about to happen. His fingers dig into your waist as he swipes his tongue against yours. 

Despite growing breathless, you both refuse to break the kiss, only as your boots hit the mattress, do you pull away for a second. Your eyes flutter open at the same time as his, smiles growing on both your faces. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip as you blink at him. 

“Don’t do that.” Steve murmurs as he grabs your chin, freeing your lip from the sharpness of your teeth. The sight of it made his pupils dilate. 

You lean into his touch and lick your lips before you grab him by the collar of his sweater and pull him down for another kiss, just a short peck before you focus on getting him down on the mattress, and Steve has the same idea. Taking you by surprise, he lifts you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist. 

A giggle falls from your lips, and excitement bubbles in your chest when you feel the softness of the mattress beneath you as Steve settles in between your legs, getting on top of you without crushing you with his weight just yet. His lips found yours again, kissing you softly as his hands started running over your sides. The warmth of the fireplace, now stronger than when you two were at the table. 

The fire was cackling, and the sounds of your kisses echoed through the room. The heels of your boots were digging into his hip bone, trying to pull him closer. Trying not to break the kiss, he moved all over on top of you, trying to kick his own sneakers off, almost falling completely on top of you. He pulled away with a huff as you laughed at his clumsy display.

“Don’t laugh at me, this is part of my sexyness.” He joked, trying to hide the embarrassment. You nodded at him, trying not to laugh.

“So sexy.” He managed to take his sneakers off by pushing the heels down with his tip toes. He gave you a soft kiss on the nose as he kneeled up, grabbing your left calf. He kissed it gently as he started undoing the laces, and your body shivered at his touch. He took that boot off and repeated the process with the other one. 

His own stomach was a mess. Maybe it was a bad idea to eat before doing this. He was nervous. So nervous. He had the pressure to make this memorable for you, to make this as perfect as possible. Because you deserved that and so much more. He wanted to make you feel wanted, important, cared for. 

Your eyes were glossy, and you felt your core was becoming wetter just by looking up at him. His freshly shaven chin, his hair all tidy. All just for you, in the middle of an apocalypse. Your heart was warm, and not thanks to the cackling fire next to you.

“Please, don’t tell me you shaved your chest…” You mumbled out, and he felt his cheeks flush, a smirk forming on his lips.

“Oh? You like my chest hair?” You couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed, hiding your face in your hands as your ears burned. He took this opportunity to take his sweater and shirt off, in one swoop. You peeked through your fingers, and to your pleasure, he hadn’t shaved it. “Now I know I never have to shave it, because my girl likes it.”

His girl. It still sounded a little foreign. To be called something so precious, and them meaning it. A person who isn’t family, or a close friend, but someone who genuinely feels the same way you do. Some stranger you met, that for some reason, ends up being one of the people you would do anything for. Your eyes travelled to the scars on his stomach, then back at his chest.

“Yeah, I like it.” You confessed, and now it was Steve’s turn to blush, a groan vibrating in his throat, making you giggle. He dove back down, giving your right wrist a nip, and you pulled your hands off your face with a laugh. He then nipped at your neck, making you squirm underneath him. “It tickles– Steve!”

He chuckled into your skin, and his nips turned into soft kisses, making you relax. The tickles turned into chills, creating goosebumps all over your arms and legs. Your mouth was left open in a silent breath, and your hands went to run into his hair, feeling his warm lips on your skin. Butterflies erupted in your stomach with anticipation, with arousal, with nerves, with excitement. 

His kisses traveled all over your neck, leaving a few marks here and there, and even if primal, or possessive, he wanted to leave a claim on you. His lips moved downwards, kissing the crook of your neck and shoulders, and with his left hand, he started pulling your strap down, his lips following as your shoulder became bare. 

Your skin was warm underneath his kisses, and he could hear your breathing stuttering at each movement he did. He felt himself start to strain in his pants, and he cursed under his breath as his hips rolled into yours, just barely. You gasped at the sudden friction, your legs wrapping around his waist again, needing to feel him once more. 

The rational part of him was slipping away, just like that time that you two almost overstepped that line. But unlike that time, he didn’t need to stop. There was no need, because he made sure that this would be a safe place for you to enjoy yourself, for you to be able to feel everything and not worry about anything else.

His hips started rolling a little harder as his kisses travelled all over your collarbone, and towards your other shoulder. He repeated the process of pulling down your strap to kiss your skin there. His mouth was going dry, the need to see you was making his brain shortcircuit. Your lips were taken by his in a soft kiss, tender, and he pulled away, only a breath away from you.

“Sunshine… Can I take it off?” 

You gulped heavily, but the dress, even if thin, was suffocating you. You wanted to feel his skin against yours, the heat of his body engulfing you completely. But still, you were human, so you also had your nerves. Even if you waited for this moment to happen, you also had your own insecurities. What if he didn’t enjoy himself? You barely knew how to do things to yourself, let alone to someone else. 

But you slowly nodded, trying to push those thoughts away. He bit his bottom lip as he tried to keep himself calm, but he was barely holding on. He pulled away, making you drop your legs from around his waist. You sat up after him, looking up into his eyes as he devoured you with just one look. He bit his bottom lip as he helped you untuck your dress from under your legs, and then, finally, he helped you take it off.

And you were radiant.

He had seen you, but this time felt different. So fucking different, because– He could hardly believe you were his. It sounded possessive, but fuck, did he love it. You were his. All of you.

“You’re so beautiful…” You were staring up at him with those eyes that he would fight the whole world for. You had no bra on, just some thin laced panties covering that area he had already tasted, but fuck, did he want to do it again, and again, and again. 

His eyes ran over your breasts, wanting to latch his mouth on one of them, but he held back. His jaw clenched as his eyes looked for yours again. You licked your lips as you felt your heart beating into your ears. You could feel the rapid pulse in your neck. The heat of the fire allowed you to enjoy this moment without feeling cold. 

His hand came to cradle your face, pulling you into a deep kiss, while the other one wrapped around your bare waist. You let a sigh out, reciprocating the kiss, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. His chest came in contact with yours, and you gasped at the sensation of your nipples brushing against his hair, a ticklish sensation that went all the way down to your toes. 

He groaned into the kiss, his lips starting to move desperately against yours, getting lost in your taste as he held you close to him. His tongue licked your bottom lip, asking, begging, for entrance. Your mouth opened for him, and he dove in like a starved man. He was devouring you, and you were loving it. You moaned into the kiss when his fingertips dug into your waist, his self-control slipping away.

You two were becoming breathless as the kiss turned more and more desperate. Fuck, your heart was about to burst from your chest. You didn’t know if the fireplace was burning you up, or if it was your own body rising in temperature. You guessed it was a mix of both. You needed to feel him again. You couldn’t just stay like this anymore; you needed him.

You grabbed onto his neck and lay down on the mattress, pulling him with you, your kiss never breaking. You opened your legs for him, and he happily nestled in between them, and Steve slowly realized, that he was fucked. He could feel your heat through his pants, through his boxers, and he was hard. Way too hard. But he wanted you to know it. He wanted you to feel what you do to him.

So he pressed and rolled his hips against you, and one of those rolls hit against your clit just perfectly. You moaned into the kiss, and he pulled away to hear you better. He needed to hear you. He gave another roll that made you throw your head back. He kissed your jaw, and he sighed as he felt himself about to bust in his pants, but he couldn’t stop. 

You felt too good like this, and if this was with clothes on, what was going to happen to him when he entered you fully? When you lay naked for him to have, to taste? He will probably die. You were sighing out, and he started giving deliberate thrusts, making your clit throb as it kept being rubbed on. 

“Steve–” You were begging. You needed more than just this. You were wet, too wet, and you would have felt embarrassed in another moment of your life, but not with Steve. He should know how he makes you feel. He has to. 

Fuck. He had to keep going. He can’t dry hump you away, even if he was loving it. He pulled away from you, giving you a soft kiss on the lips, then your chin, then your neck, then your collarbone, and you sighed out, shaking your head.

“Steve…” You called out again, and he was already kissing around your breast, creating goosebumps all around your skin.

“Mmm?”

“You already did something for me, I should do something–” His face immediately perked up, shaking his head. You frowned, opening your mouth to ask him why, but he beat you to it.

“Some other time, Sunshine… Let me take care of you today, okay?” But you wanted to do something, anything, but the moment he started moving lower, and lower, until your nipples could feel his breath, you felt your body set aflame, and your mind started losing its rationality. 

His lips continued their path, not breaking apart from your skin for a single second. He came to find your perked right nipple, and his mouth instantly wrapped around it. Your back arched as your nails dug into his hair, a gasp escaping your lips. A delicious sound that made his hips roll into yours again. His tongue darted out to lick at the tip, and suddenly he got to finally savour something in his mouth.

He groaned loudly, feeling himself twitch in his pants, and he had to gather himself before he went a little crazy on you. You frowned, looking down at him with surprised eyes.

“Is something wrong?”

“Sunshine, you taste so fucking good… You got yourself all prettied up for me, didn’t you?” Your face heated up at his sudden words. They shook you to your core, shyness invading your every nerve. You squirmed underneath him, mouth opening to answer, but Steve never wanted an answer to that. Because he wasn’t talking to you. He was talking to himself, in his own haze of lust.

His lips engulfed your left nipple next as his hand came to grope the other one. You felt yourself clench on nothing, waves of heat going south at each roll of his hips, at each roll of his fingers on your nipple, at each nip at the other one. He was losing himself in your smell, in your taste, because you just were delectable today. You were so perfect, to the point that he wondered what he did to deserve someone as pretty as you.

His mouth clung to your nipple, but you felt the other hand slowly moving downwards. You felt a tickle running up your spine the moment your stomach was feathery touched. And then, the tip of his fingers played with the elastic of your panties, and this time, no one was going to stop you both. You had been in this position before, and he had backed out from it. 

Not this time.

His hand went past the elastic, and he could already feel so much wetness down there, making him groan against your nipple and give a tug at it, and– His eyes widened, pulling away with surprise to look down at your already kind of drunken face.

“Did you shave?” Your shame was gone at this point, wanting him to keep going more than anything. You nodded quickly, your hips rolling into his hand for him to keep touching you.

“Is it wrong?” He growled at your question, shaking his head. His mouth came down to bite onto your shoulder, making you gasp.

“There was no need, but damn… You really did get all prettied up for me, my sweet girl…” You trembled at his words, kind yet dirty. His mouth was uncontrollable by now, and never in his life was he this articulate while in bed. Never. But fuck, did he want you to know every single thing that went through his mind right now. You deserved to know every detail.

His hand went further, cupping your wet pussy, and shit. You were drenched for him. He barely did anything, and you were reacting like this for him. His cock twitched again, and he was probably leaking precum already. Even your panties were wet against the top of his knuckles and shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. He was going to bust in his pants again. He had to continue and hold it in, for you. But you were making it so hard, in all the possible senses.

And the lack of hair made it feel even wetter. Stickier. And he couldn’t help himself but tap his fingers against you, making a moan rip out of you. He could hear the wet slap, making him groan into your neck. His mouth, once again, ran wild,

“So wet for me already, fuck, Sunshine…” That made you shiver underneath him, the compliments just making you feel even hotter, needier. He ran his fingers through your folds, and finally pressed them against your clit. A whimper escaped you, hips bucking into his hand. 

He pulled away from your neck, kissing your chin and your jaw as he started moving his fingers in circled motions, keeping the pressure steady on your clit. Your mouth was open, looking up at him as he was making you feel utter pleasure, just like he did days ago. 

“Stevie– Steve…” You breathed out, and if he hadn’t lost his mind yet, that definitely did it. He could feel himself about to explode in his pants, but he didn’t want to stop touching you, and his other hand was occupied keeping himself from falling on top of you. 

“Sunshine, can you do something for me?” You were trying to concentrate, but you felt your cunt fluttering over nothing as he kept moving. So he slowed down to make you focus on him again, and he tried again, desperately, “Sunshine…”

“Y-Yes?” He licked his lips at seeing your glossy eyes looking up at him, half lidded, and god, he wanted to kiss you so bad. You were so hot like this, and under him.

“Can you help me with popping my pants open? Please…” You felt your heart thump in your chest, immediately jumping into action. Your hands moved, around the arm that was still inside your underwear, his fingers never stopping which was making your fingers fiddle a bit with the button.

You were trying to concentrate, and you could see the hard bulge that was hiding in those pants. Shit, he was probably uncomfortable. But you were going to help him, delightfully so. You finally popped the button open, and you could hear Steve let out a breath of relief. His hand stopped moving for a second, which made your consciousness come back to you for a second, which made you pull his zipper down.

And you were curious, so curious. You couldn’t help yourself, that your hand went inside the pants, cupping him in his boxers. Steve’s breath stopped, a grunt escaping him and your eyes went to his face. They almost widened as you saw him look like a sudden mess. His eyebrows were all furrowed together, his hair disheveled, his mouth open as he moaned out for the first time in the night.

And another thing you noticed, he was huge. Or well, you really didn’t have much to compare it to, but just by the shape of it, you knew he was well doted. Your hand moved along the covered shaft, and Steve whimpered at the feeling of it. His hand had completely stopped his movements against your clit, and his mind had completely gone to outer space.

He wasn’t expecting you to touch him. He didn’t expect it at all today because he had made his decision that it was your night. Your moment. Your ultimate pleasure. And here you were, being a brat and going against his orders. His eyes opened to find you looking up at him, a dazed look in your eyes. 

“I said not today, baby… You’re gonna make this night end quicker than it should.” You couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped your lips, your hand retreating from his pants reluctantly. He smiled, giving you a soft kiss before his hand left the inside of your underwear. 

He kneeled up, and finally took you in. Your hands were over your head, your hair all splayed on the pillow, and you were wearing just your black laced panties, with your legs spread so he could fit in the middle. 

And the polaroid camera was so far away. He can take a picture later.

He saw you looking at him as your chest went up and down, breathing a little heavy, and he put on a show for you, by licking the fingers that were soaked on you. Goddamnit, whatever scrub you used, it was mixing with your juices and you tasted fucking delicious. Your breathing hitched as you saw how his tongue swirled in between his digits, a moan vibrating in his throat.

You clenched around nothing once again, and you never thought you would be this turned on over someone, by just watching them. You licked your lips, wanting to reach out to him, wanting to get your hands on his chest, on his shoulders, just anywhere. But he had other plans in mind. His fingers hooked on the elastic of your panties, and he started pulling them off. You helped by straightening your legs upwards, and he took them off easily.

You didn’t return to the position you were in before. You curled yourself into a ball, and he chuckled, grabbing onto your knees.

“Now, baby, no need to hide from me.” But you pouted, your eyes darting to his pants, and back at him.

“Not fair…” He raised an eyebrow at you, but god, you were cute. His heart thumped harshly against his chest as he sat back, taking his pants off, but not his boxers. If he took his boxers off right now, and rubbed himself raw on your thigh, he was going to lose it. You opened your mouth to complain again, but he grabbed onto your knees again.

“Don’t be a brat, Sunshine.” Your body heated up again, because, what would happen if you were? What would happen if you got Steve worked up by you being a menace? He could see the intention in your eyes, and he shook his head at you. “Not today, baby…”

And you understood, letting him spread your legs open again. He gulped as he saw your folds separating for him, and– his cock was definitely leaking. Definitely. He could feel the warmth in the fabric. He took a deep breath in to calm himself down. He had to prepare you, that was his main goal right now.

He crawled up towards you again, but he moved places. He moved to your side, kissing your right shoulder as he held himself up with his elbow next to your head. His right hand was gripping your inner thigh, pressing his digits against it, spreading you even further as he inched closer to where you were aching the most. 

His lips went to your neck, and you stretched it so he could have more access. Your eyes closed as he sucked on your pulse point. Then you felt his fingers run through your slick folds, coating himself in your wetness, and you let a breath out of relief when he flicked your clit again. 

“Steve–” 

“Shh…” His breath hit your ear, making goosebumps appear all over your neck and chest. The fire cackled next to you as you closed your eyes to feel him even more, and then you felt his middle finger slowly pushing in, making you arch your back slightly, and his lips kissed your jaw gently, and he moaned as he felt how warm you were inside, how you fluttered all around him.

He groaned at how easily his finger went in, thanks to how wet you were. Your hands gripped the sheets below you as he started moving slowly, in and out. You had missed his fingers since the last time he did this. When he made you come undone thanks to his jealousy. You may grow a little addicted to him doing this, because he was just so good.

He rubbed his thumb against your clit as he kept thrusting his finger, stretching you out slowly. You moaned at a particular movement, sending a shock all over your body. And he looked at your contorted face, absolute pleasure on your features, and if somebody could take a picture of himself right now, he probably would look wrecked.

He was going to be ruined for everyone else after having you, wasn’t he?

He didn’t care. Not when you moaned so prettily when he entered his ring finger, the round part of his palm rubbing against your clit now. You took a sharp breath in as he curled his fingers inside of you, and he could feel himself drool at your sight. As you began to breathe heavily, as you began to squirm, as you began to beg.

“Steve– Steve, please–” Shit. His cock was in pain right now. He had to stop looking at your face. His head dipped down to suck on your neck, and your hands immediately ran through his hair, gripping at his scalp when he quickened the pace of his fingers.

You could hear your squelching, your eyes fixed on the ceiling, but not really. You could only see stars that were starting to form as the elastic band in your belly started stretching more and more. Your hips started twitching, and you could feel him nipping and moaning against your neck.

He could feel you fluttering more and more, and he changed his movements to an upwards motion, the tip of his curled fingers hitting against your g-spot while his palm rubbed against your clit, and you lost it. You never felt this in your life, and it was as if you were going to combust into flames; your belly ached from how hard it started to clench. 

“Yeah, come on Sunshine, you can do it, baby. Cum on my fingers, come on…” He was moaning desperately for you, and he didn’t even care. He got out of your neck and took your lips into a fierce and bruising kiss. Your fingers were almost ripping his hair out, but it still felt good. His tongue immediately searched for yours, and it was a messy exchange of saliva, moans, and whimpers.

Your hips stuttered against him as the elastic band finally broke. Your legs clenched around his hand, but he didn’t let up. He pulled away just in time to see you break before him, your eyes clenched tight, jaw tightening as you screamed his name. Your hands were around his scalp still, holding onto him like a landline. 

You were tight all around his fingers, and he kept moving them as best as he could to keep your orgasm going. The noise, the squelching, became louder as you rode your climax. He couldn’t help but rub his erection against your hip, trying to get some friction himself as he looked down at you. You were panting, almost sweating now, thanks to what he did to you, and the fire that was still blazing next to you both.

Your eyes slowly opened to find hazel ones that were looking down at you with wonder, amazement, and desire. Pupils blown out, and his mouth open as he breathed heavily over you. You felt the hard bulge against your hip, and you couldn’t help but lift your head and give him a kiss on the lips, as your legs trembled, and finally relaxed once more. 

He moaned into your lips, closing his eyes briefly as he slowly took his fingers out of you. You groaned as your fingers relaxed on his hair, rubbing his scalp apologetically. He kissed you back down onto the pillow, his lips moving against yours, and as much as it pained him, he wiped his fingers against the sheets so he wouldn’t stop kissing you for a second. 

He slowly pulled away, his eyes opening to find yours again. He felt his heart pounding heavily, now realizing how nervous he was. Because he knew what was going to happen next, and fuck he needed it to be perfect. He didn’t have to think of himself, not for a single moment. He took a deep breath, trying not to think of the ringing that was happening inside of his ears.

You saw how his eyes were still glued to you as you felt him shift, a hand moving downwards, and then his legs moving. You looked down, and your breathing stopped once you saw him out of his boxers. Steve was completely naked now, next to you. This was happening. This was really going to happen. Your belly fluttered, nerves, excitement, you didn’t know. 

“Will that fit?” The question tumbled out of your lips without noticing, and Steve’s laughter resonated through the room, a blush spreading on his cheeks.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, Sunshine.” He actually was a little self conscious, because this was going to be the first time you would see him, and honestly, you had someone to compare him to. It wasn’t like you didn’t. He’ll take this one as a win. 

He tried not to let his nerves get the best of him as he knelt up, and grabbed his pants. Thankfully, Eddie came rushing in with the scissors and a few condoms, because Steve honestly forgot. He was so nervous about making the room look impeccable that he forgot one of the most important things. 

He took one of the foils out of his back pocket, and you straightened up with your elbows as support. You could see the freckles on his back, and he had so many. The orange hue of the fire kissing his skin just right. He moved then, his left hand sliding between your legs, and you got the signal instantly. You spread them for him to settle in between them, kneeling. Your eyes were glued to his cock. It was up, ready, and it was glistening at the top. Your mouth salivated with the need to experiment. With the need to make him feel good as well.

He obviously noticed where your eyes were, and he lost focus for a second as he looked down all over your body, making him twitch. Just by looking at you, fuck. He gulped heavily, hoping to god that he would last more than three pumps in. He ripped the foil open with his teeth, and at the sound of it, you sat up. He stopped his movements, seeing your nervous face, your heavy breathing.

“Sunshine, we don’t have–”

“Can I put it on?” You looked at him, and he noticed the hunger in your eyes, and he got a little taken aback by your request. “I want to touch you too, even if it’s just this…” 

Right, he had denied you touching him before. God, how humiliating would it be to cum by you just putting the condom on him? But he cannot deny you again, not when you’re looking up at him with those eyes that drove him absolutely mad. He licked his lips as he handed the foil to you, and you bit your bottom lip, grabbing it and taking the latex out.

Your eyes were drawn back to his shaft, and you had to remember health class for this one. Pinch the tip, and slide down. He took a deep breath in as your hands got closer to him, and then, your hand enveloped him completely as you started rolling the condom down on him. He threw his head back at the sensation, holding in a groan as he ran his hands over his face in pleasure, and possibly in agony.

It was so gentle, yet it was enough to ignite every single nerve in his body. You, on the other hand, were taking advantage of the situation. You ran your hands down towards the base, amazed, seeing him twitch in your hands. He sighed out as he felt a bit dizzy at your touch. He didn’t know how bad you got him until now. He looked down to see you brushing his tip with your thumb, going over the little bit of latex you had pinched.

He hissed, grabbing your shoulders to make you look back up at him. Your hands stopped roaming, your eyes tilting to look into his. His hands went to cradle your face, his lips coming down to take yours in a gentle and warm kiss. Your arms wrapped around him, his chest pressing against yours as he moved you back down against the mattress. 

You could feel his heartbeat go wild, and it was most likely matching yours. Your legs spread further so he could squeeze himself in between. He pulled away from the kiss, his hands moving down your body as your arms wrapped around his shoulders. He kept his eyes on yours for a few seconds, brushing your cheek softly. His breath was hitting your lips, harsh, heavy, desperate.

He pressed his hips against yours, and you could feel him running up and down, caressing your clit in each small thrust. You sighed out, head falling back against the pillow. It felt so good, he felt so hard. He trembled a bit as he coated himself in your slick, gulping heavily as he saw the expanse of your neck. He felt his tip kiss your clit gently, making a moan escape your lips. 

“Sunshine…” You came out of your haze to look back at him, his pupils dilated, but still full of care, of wonder. “Can I?”

You nodded desperately, wanting him more than anything, wanting something you’ve been craving for a long time now. He licked his lips, glancing downwards as he got a hand between the two of you. He positioned himself, but before he went in, he spoke once more,

“Tell me if it hurts, you gotta talk to me, okay, baby?” You could feel his tip against you, and you nodded again, nails digging into his back.

“Yes, Steve, please–” And your mouth fell into a silent ‘O’ and your eyes widened as he slowly started pushing in. It felt like pressure. It felt like something was pressing against you, and you were trying to push it out.

He felt himself sweat heavily as he only got a bit of himself inside of you. He huffed loudly, not realizing he had been holding a breath in. He felt his belly twist at your fluttering, at your tightness. Fuck, you were tight. You were so tight. His jaw was clenched tightly, looking down at your features. He saw your eyebrows twitch slightly, and he knew why.

“You need to relax, Sunshine…” He stopped for a second, letting you take a breath in. You closed your eyes, trying to concentrate on your breathing. Steve was going to take care of you; there was nothing to be afraid of. You relaxed your body into the mattress, and he was fighting with demons in order not to move. 

He could feel you unclench a bit more, just a tad, but it was enough signal for him to know you were a little less tense. You opened your eyes, nodding again, with glossy eyes.

“I’m okay… Keep going…” Your voice was small, and he had to grip the pillow underneath your head to hold himself back. His stomach tensed as he pushed a bit further, and he felt your nails digging into his back. Your eyes were clenched, and you started feeling the stretch, the burning of it. It was uncomfortable, but he had prepped you well. You know he did. 

You were fixating on your breathing as he kept going in, and you just didn’t know how much was left. Steve was starting to sweat, your tightness being his fucking doom, and he was trying not to cum right then and there. You were clenching and fluttering, and you were so warm, and he was trying so hard to concentrate on looking down at your face, to make sure you were okay. 

You were not making any sounds, which was a sign of discomfort. He knew it wasn’t that pleasurable, at least not yet, but he didn’t know how it truly felt. Suddenly, he heard you. A wince. He stopped completely, and your eyes opened, panicked.

“No, no, keep going, Steve–”

“Sunshine, if it’s hurting you, I gotta stop–”

“No, don’t, it’s okay… I’m fine…” You reassured him, and his eyes were tender while looking down at you, but a worried frown was still etched on them. You ran a hand through his hair and pushed his head into the crook of your neck and shoulder. He breathed against your skin and trusted you. So he kept pushing in.

You held a wince in, because now there was pain. There was a dull pain, like there was a bubble of pressure inside of you, just expanding, and expanding, and being pushed further into you. Steve knew you were in pain because of your ragged breaths, your trembling, and how your nails were digging into his scalp and back. 

He didn’t want to do it, but he knew he had to. He had to so it would go by quickly. So that you would stop trying to hold back your winces and groans. He took a deep breath in, knowing that after this, he would be ruined. He gripped the pillow tightly with both his hands for support, to ground himself to the earth. 

And he gave a sharp thrust.

You gasped loudly, jerking at the motion, eyes widening towards the ceiling. You fluttered wildly around him, clenching and unclenching, and you could feel him so deep inside of you. You were burning, stretching, and the bubble had burst. You gasped your breaths out, trembling as your heels dug into Steve’s hips. 

Steve let out a groan at the feeling of bottoming out inside of you. He was feeling himself lose his mind slowly, because he was still a man. A man who had the girl he adored underneath him. The girl who just gave herself completely to him. He was just a man. But he was your man, and he had to take care of you. He noticed how you were shaking slightly, your jagged gasps. He pulled away from your neck, kissing your cheek softly.

“Shh, shh… It’s done, I’m here, Sunshine…” You gulped heavily, your eyes finding his. Done. You weren’t a virgin any longer. Steve took that. And you felt warmth invade your chest. Many girls had lost their virginities to the first guy they had the chance to, but none of them had truly lost it with someone they cared for, and someone who cared back for them. At least, not that they had told you about.

But you have. And you couldn’t be happier. 

“Just give me a few seconds, Steve…” He nodded, kissing your cheek again to reassure you he was here. You closed your eyes to try to relax your body again, taking deep breaths in, your hands running all over his back. He was going to give you all the time you needed. He kissed the corner of your eye where a stray tear started falling down, without you noticing at all. You were happy. Really happy.

“You okay?” He asked gently, though you noticed the slight tremble in his voice. You opened your eyes, giving him a nod. You could feel yourself a little more relaxed, swallowing heavily and guiding him back into the crook of your neck. You knew you were going to make faces, and you didn’t want him to stop, to worry.

“You can move…” He inhaled your scent, kissing your neck gently as he reeled his hips back slightly, just a bit, and moved back in. You felt the drag, a sore kind of pain shooting up your spine, but the pressure was no longer there. Your eyebrows were furrowed, closing your eyes to try to concentrate on your feelings, wanting to be honest with him if it were to hurt a lot.

Steve, on the other hand, was losing his shit. He was breathing heavily as he did another small thrust. He heard you groan, and he tried not to stop. He was only going to if you told him so, unless he heard a really painful cry from you. So he nervously kept that slow pace, small thrusts, letting you adjust more and more to him.

And you felt how the pain started going away, and you started feeling something else. Something that was making you sweat all over, and your belly fluttered at the feeling of it. At the drag of his cock inside of you. Pleasure. It was slowly building, and you clenched slightly around him, making him growl on your neck. 

He tentatively gave a longer thrust, reeling his hips farther, and moving back in. He kept the slow speed, and then, he heard it. His eyes widened, and he almost stopped. You moaned. It was faint, but you moaned. So he did it again, wanting to make sure, and he felt your nails starting to grab at his hair, as you gave another moan, then another, then another. He lifted himself up to look down at your face, and he almost crumbled over.

You looked dazed, eyes half lidded, mouth open, as you moved against his thrusts. Moans came out of your mouth, and fuck, he wanted to eat you up. He wanted to devour you. He felt the intense need build in his chest. The need to ravish you completely. The need that has to wait for another time.

“You feeling good, baby?” He kissed your jaw, and you nodded dumbly, and you truly were. To the point of wanting him to go faster. It wasn’t enough. It started feeling like it wasn’t what you needed right now.

“Yeah– Yeah–” You moaned out, and he groaned at your voice, so desperate for more. 

“Want me to go a little faster?” He asked, and you gasped at it, nodding again, your belly exploding in butterflies.

“Yes, please, Steve…” He took a deep breath in, starting to move faster, and he could feel the warmth inside of you, the tightness giving way, letting him slide easier inside of you. And that drove him mad, moaning your name against your lips, kissing you softly. And your moans, god, your moans, they kept getting louder.

You have never felt this kind of pleasure before. Not even when Steve ate you out, this was completely different. It was intimate and such an out-of-body experience. It felt better than his fingers, better than anything else that could possibly be done to you. At least, for now.

He huffed as his knuckles turned white, grabbing the pillow underneath your head. He was sliding so easily inside of you now, shit, shit, shit. He needed more; was that selfish of him? 

“Baby, can I go harder? Please–” He was asking, begging for you to say yes. Your eyes clashed with his, and he looked so good like this. His features were completely contorted, looking as if he were in pain, but you knew it was pleasure. His eyes were glossed over, his lips trembling, his hair falling over his eyes, and a sheer layer of sweat over his forehead. His face was flushed, and you felt yourself becoming wetter just by the mere sight of him.

“Yes– God, please–” You heard him growl, pushing up from you, holding himself up with his hands on each side of your head. His chest away from yours, and your hands sliding down to his biceps. You could feel how hard his muscles were, how tense, but you couldn’t put much thought into it, as Steve started thrusting harder, while keeping the same speed from before. 

You were gasping, moaning, and whimpering as you bounced at each of his thrusts. You weren’t even focusing on anything right now, just feeling everything he was doing to you. You could hear the slapping of skin now, his hips smashing against yours at each thrust. Steve was panting, finally looking in between the two of you to see himself disappear inside of you, making him twitch even inside of you.

“Fuck, fuck– You feel so good, Sunshine– So perfect for me…” His mouth moved without his permission. You whined at his words, just ‘uh, uh, uh’s’ coming out of your lips. You looked wrecked, and he was so happy, so proud that it was thanks to him. That you were feeling this for the first time with him. That he was the cause. 

He needed more leverage. He could feel his belly burning wildly, and he wanted more. He needed to feel more. Deeper. And by how loud you were moaning and mumbling his name, he assumed you were feeling good. Really good. He straightened up, kneeling with his legs spread a little underneath your thighs. He wrapped his arms around them, and he started moving with much more speed than before. Your eyes widened, toes curling as your hands flew to grip the sheets below you.

You bounced, and his eyes couldn’t leave your breasts, your body, your moans escaping your lips. He could feel you flutter around his cock, and he threw his head back in pure ecstasy. He moaned your name, pure praises, and then he looked back down at you, seeing you looking up at him.

He looked so good. You could feel the elastic band forming again, surprising you completely. That chain that bounced at every thrust of his, the veins in his arms prominent, and his abdomen tensed as he railed you into the mattress. 

“Stevie– It feels good, it feels so good, please don’t stop–” He growled at your request, shaking his head.

“Not a fucking chance, Sunshine.” You whimpered, and you felt the need for something more, but you didn’t know what. Your hands gripped the sheets, twisting them, and you felt your legs shaking slightly. Steve noticed, huffing his breaths out. “What do you need, baby? Talk to me…”

“I don’t– I don’t know–” And he knew exactly what you wanted. He could feel himself coming close, but he wasn’t going to let up until he felt you clench around him. He needed it. He seethed himself in you, and stopped, leaving him panting. You choked a breath out at how deep you felt him, but when he didn’t move again, you looked at him, breathing heavily. “Something– Something wrong?”

“No… Fuck no… But I’m close…” He confessed, trying to calm himself down, trying really hard to make this the best time of your life. You nodded, not understanding the problem with it.

“Baby, you can–”

“No. I want you to cum around me. I am not stopping until you give me another, Sunshine.” Oh, that pulled the elastic in your belly even tighter. He felt you clench, and he scoffed a laugh out. “Oh, you like that, huh.”

You felt your entire body burn up, and before you could talk again, he started moving once more. You moaned out, feeling that pleasure once again filling every nerve. He looked down at you, his right arm unwrapping from your leg, and moving in between you two, and he pressed his thumb against your clit.

“Shit!” You jerked at the sensation, eyes wide. He smirked at your reaction, circling your clit once with his thumb as he thrusted inside of you. You were seeing stars, head thrown back as your mouth remained open, obscene moans escaping, and his name. His name that was making him lose his mind, more, and more. “Steve– Steve– Steve–”

He could feel you fluttering, clenching every now and then, and he groaned, whimpered as his pace picked up, his hips slapping against yours in a wild manner. His thumb kept circling your clit, rubbing and pressing, and you were thrashing around underneath him. He felt your thigh tensing up under his left arm. 

But fuck, he was close. He moved forward a bit more, raising your hips up just slightly, but you felt it. Your back arched as you felt like your soul left your body. Steve growled in victory, having found your G-Spot. He kept the pace, his breath coming out in gasps as you clenched and clenched, and he knew you were close.

“Sunshine, come on–” He was watching you lose yourself in the pleasure as he kept moving, watching you bounce underneath him. Your belly was turning wildly inside of you, tensing your entire body, and your legs started closing around him, but it didn’t stop his movements at all. You started trembling as you felt yourself clench and unclench around him, and he almost tipped over the edge right there.

And finally, you let out a sharp cry, followed by a choked moan as you completely engulfed him, gripped him like a vice, and his hand left your clit, letting your thigh go so he could slam his hands on each side of you, gripping the mattress. Your hands flew to grab onto his forearms and scratch his arms for some grounding. You were in another galaxy, Milky Ways passing behind your eyelids as you clenched your eyes. 

He growled into his throat, a loud whimper escaping his lips at the tightness, at how amazing you sounded. You were shaking underneath him, and it was almost hard to pull out from you from how hard you were gripping him. He started to stutter, the fluttering inside never stopping, and you were not letting up with the clenching. He clenched his eyes tightly, trying to let himself last a few more seconds so you could ride the orgasm out.

“Steve– Stevie–” His eyes opened to see tears sliding down the sides of your face, purely from pleasure. Some drool had pulled on the corner of your mouth, and fuck– His hips started moving harshly against you, and you finally unclenched just slightly as your belly uncramped, and your walls let up just a little bit.

His hands grabbed yours, and he intertwined his fingers with yours, and pressed them just a little above your head. Shit– Fucking christ– His hips slammed against yours, chasing his own orgasm. His hair was brushing against your forehead, his hot breath against your lips, and you’ve never seen Steve like this. 

He looked… so good.

“Fuck– Sunshine, baby, I’m gonna cum–” And you could feel your fingers being squished by his, his veins forming on the top of his hands as he pressed yours harder into the mattress, jerking at each sharp thrust of his. And then, at one last thrust, his face fell forward to the crook of your neck, and your eyes widened when he bit at your skin, growling loudly, whimpering as he came into the condom.

He thrusted at each spurt, one, two, three, and then, he stilled. He kissed your skin as he panted, trying to gather his thoughts once again. You were dreamily looking at the ceiling with a faraway gaze. You felt amazing. Lightweight. Your skin felt tingly all over, and you noticed the aftershocks all over your body; you couldn’t believe what had just happened.

You had sex. You finally had sex. It felt like such a faraway dream, something you thought would never happen because of the circumstances the world was in. And here was Steve. Panting heavily into your skin after making you his. Your heart felt like it was in complete flames, soaring into the sky. 

Steve could feel his heart going crazy, thumping loudly and rapidly in his chest. He wondered if you could feel it since it was pressed against yours. You two were sweating, panting, and he finally gulped, his hands letting go of yours slowly. He raised his head up, his elbows supporting his weight now as you lay there underneath him. He licked his trembling lips, inspecting your features.

“You okay, Sunshine?” He asked in a soft whisper, and you were still dazed, staring at nothing in particular. He couldn’t help but smile, coming to kiss your lips softly to snap you out of your haze. You blinked, finally looking at him. “You okay?”

You gave him a tired, wide smile, nodding at him.

“I’m more than okay…” He brushed a strand of your hair away from your forehead, keeping his hand on your cheek. Your eyes were glued to his, and you couldn’t help but feel like you had to say something to him. Something you never thought you would say before. Or at least, not so early. 

But it wasn’t so early, wasn’t it? It’s been months, weeks, days of feelings slowly cooking inside of you. You swallowed those words down, not knowing if it was the haze of the moment or if it truly was there. You needed a clear mind for it. You needed to be sure of it.

“Are you okay?” You asked, and he huffed a laugh, nodding at you. 

“Perfect…” He felt himself softening inside of you, making him wince a bit. “I’m going to pull out, alright?”

You took a deep breath in, nodding at him. Him pulling out felt weird, but then you felt empty, making you exhale a groan. You let a sigh out as he kneeled back, and you closed your eyes to accommodate yourself back to not having him inside of you. It almost felt weird.

You heard Steve moving, and you opened your eyes to grab a washcloth he left on the side of the mattress, as well as a water bottle. He opened the bottle and damped the cloth with it. You frowned a bit at the action, and you saw him moving it between your legs.

“It might be cold…” Oh, he was cleaning you. You felt your cheeks heat up, and then you winced at the coldness as he wiped you. You then felt the relief, not noticing how sore you were. The cold cloth felt good against you. Your eyes wandered back, only to widen, straightening up with your elbows as you saw the red stains on it.

“Oh my god– I’m–”

“I swear, Sunshine, if you apologize for bleeding…” You closed your mouth, embarrassment washing over you as Steve wiped you clean, as well as your inner thighs. Then he folded the cloth and wiped himself before taking his condom off. You watched as he threw the cloth aside and then tied the condom in a knot. You watched his seed in there with interest, tilting your head. 

He felt his legs trembling slightly as he put the condom to the side, taking note of throwing that and the cloth into the fire the next day. He sighed, looking back at you, who was looking at him with dreamy eyes, tired, and still a little dazed. 

He moved towards your side, prompting you to lie down, opening the sheets that were beneath you this whole time. They were slightly thick, knowing the fire would keep the two warm during the entire night. You two lie on your sides, his hand running up and down your arm, your legs tangled with one another’s.

“Was it…” He gulped as he thought of his question. He was a little afraid of the answer, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know how you felt. If it was to your expectations. He wanted to know if he had to be better at something or do something differently the next time. But your first time… “Was it how you imagined it?”

You were looking at him, gazing into his eyes, and your hand went towards his cheek, caressing it gently. Your heart was in your throat, your ears were ringing as you pulled him into a soft kiss. Lingering. Pouring your feelings out on his lips. He moaned into the kiss, and you smiled into it, pulling away.

“It was better… Thank you, Steve…” For some reason, he felt overwhelmed. He felt like crying. He felt like he had won the lottery, or that he was conveyed a blessing from above. A long-time wish that had been granted. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a tight embrace, planting a kiss on the top of your head.

“My beautiful Sunshine.” He murmured, and you just held onto him, smiling into his chest. His arms promising to never let go. His legs promising to chase after you. His mind promising to never let go of the thought of you. His heart promising to never let you get away. 

Your breathing calmed down, the two of you slipping more and more into drowsiness, and then you talked again.

“I didn’t know it would feel so good…” He blinked his eyes wide open, suddenly awake again. A chuckle vibrated in his throat.

“Well… I don’t mean to brag, but–” You giggled against him, looking up from his chest. You pecked his lips gently, and then a cheeky smile appeared on your lips.

“I might grow addicted to it.” His smile fell, and he groaned loudly, shaking his head.

“Did I just create a monster?” And fuck, by the look on your face, he might be right. He wasn’t against the idea at all, really. Oh, poor Eddie and Nancy.

You drifted off with a giggle, clinging onto him, and he was left alone with his thoughts for a few more minutes as you breathed gently against him. His eyes were looking into the fire, and there it was. In that fine spark that came out from the cackling wood, he saw something he never thought he’d see again.

A future. And everyone was in it. 

And you.

You were in it.

And with that, his eyes finally closed.

☀︎

Eddie, who is sitting down on the steps of the RV, nodding along to Tommy’s advice for the road ahead, can’t seem to find it in himself to focus on what the man is telling him, not when his friend looks like he is about to die. 

Steve is leaning against the side of the RV with his arms crossed. His knee is bouncing as his eyes are stuck on the road ahead. Waiting and waiting, waiting for you. His heart keeps pounding painfully in his chest. His mind racing with all kinds of thoughts. Ones he doesn’t want to think about. Ones he is afraid of. What if you decide to stay here after all? What if you decide that Aaron should be the one to take you to your family and bring you back here with him? 

The thought pains him. It causes shudders to run down his back. It fills him with dread and sadness, but also with anger. 

What would he even do if you said you are not coming with them… with him? 

Would he be able to do anything about it? Would he get desperate enough to ask you to stay with him by telling you the truth about his feelings? 

Steve brings his hand up to his hair, running it through it nervously. He takes a deep breath, though it does little to calm him down. Only when he finally catches sight of you, walking down the road and to where he is standing, does he feel like he can breathe again. That is, until he sees him. 

Aaron is walking beside you, holding your hand. He feels like his breath gets knocked out of him again. He knows he should look away to spare himself the pain of watching that, but he can’t. 

Eddie pushes himself off the steps when he sees you. He clears his throat, trying to catch Steve’s attention, but the brunette is set on you. His eyes are glued on you. Eyes filled with sadness and pain. 

He doesn’t look away. He can’t. 

“Morning.” Aaron nods at Steve, who doesn’t even acknowledge him, only you. 

But you aren’t looking at him, nor at Eddie, who is trying to make eye contact with you, but your eyes are on the ground. The metalhead can’t tell whether it’s shame etched into your features or regret, but he can tell that you don’t feel comfortable standing here in front of Steve while having your hand held by the man you spent the night with. With the man you didn’t want it to be. 

“Brought you your sunshine back.” Aaron says, squeezing your hand as he briefly glances at Steve, who is still not looking at him. 

Tommy, who is standing on the side, looks down, chuckling under his breath. 

“Thank you, I was starting to think she would ditch us and stay here.” Eddie jokes, still looking at you. 

And when you finally look up, he notices the same exhaustion on your face that he sees on Steve’s. 

And Steve, he sees it too. He wants to feel relief so badly, but he knows the exhaustion can have two very different meanings. The latter makes him feel nauseous. He doesn’t want to think about it. His mind was swirling with the sickest thoughts all night. He doesn’t want to let it consume his mind again, not when you are back and here, ready to get back inside the RV with them. With him. 

“Never.” Aaron chuckles, looking down at you. “The offer was on the table, but I think she prefers you guys.” 

Steve’s mood sours even more. And he can’t help but huff at Aaron’s words. 

Eddie notices one thing, and that is how your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. You avoid Steve’s eyes, especially.  

“Yeah, I’ll stick with my friends.” You say softly and look up at Aaron, giving him a small smile, but still big enough to make Steve’s heart ache. “But thank you, Aaron… For everything.” Your words have deeper meaning, and Steve knows that. It only worsens the pain in his heart, knowing that you have shared special things with another man. He doesn’t know whether he wants to scream or slam his head into the RV. He knows he should look away from you and him, but he can’t. 

Aaron nods, giving you a soft smile and another squeeze to your hand before he lets you go. 

“Anytime, Darlin’.” He nods, tipping his cowboy hat at you, making you smile a little bigger. 

“Alright, are you ready to go?” Eddie asks you, wanting nothing more than to put his best friend out of his misery. 

“Yeah. I’m ready.” You mumble, still not looking at him. 

You turn towards Tommy and step towards the older man. You bid your farewells and thank him for all he’s done for you and your friends. He shakes your hand and gives you a warm smile, telling you that the gates will always be open for you and your friends. 

You feel a bit awkward having to say goodbye to Aaron in front of Eddie and him. You can feel his eyes on you. His gaze is burning into your skin, and not in a pleasant way. You know he watched you last night, when you were dancing with Aaron, when you kissed him. You didn’t look at Steve after, not even when you left with him. You couldn’t. And now you can’t either. 

When you turn back to Aaron, you notice that he is looking at him. His chin tilted down a bit, eyes filled with emotions you can’t read. He isn’t glaring, nor is he looking at him cockily, none of that. There is something in his eyes, something only directed at Steve. And when he looks back down at you, his eyes flicker with different emotions. His lips curl into a smile again, and he takes a step forward, opening his arms to you. 

“C’mere.” 

Your cheeks heat up when he reaches forward, taking your hand into his own. He pulls you towards him and away from Steve. He wraps his arms around you and gives you a tight hug. Leaning down, his lips brush against your ear, “be careful out there for me, alright?” 

Steve squints his eyes. He clenches his fists, digging his nails into his palm. He takes a deep breath. He feels unsure of what he feels. Anger or sadness? He isn’t sure at this point. But he knows one thing: it hurts awfully to watch you be held by another man. 

“Always.” You whisper and squeeze his waist before you pull away. You look up at him, intending it to be the last time. You say goodbye with a smile, but he has different plans. Before you can let go and step away from him, Aaron cups your cheeks and caresses your cheekbone with his thumb. His eyes flicker between your eyes and your mouth, and then he leans down and presses his lips against yours. He says goodbye with a kiss. 

Steve’s heart drops to his stomach. The same nausea from the night before rising up in him. Anger fades away so quickly, and dejection settles in instead. His nails no longer dig into his palms. His chest no longer feels tight from rage. His eyes aren’t glaring anymore. All he feels… is pain. 

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut when he sees the expression on Steve’s face. He was mad at him before he knew how he really felt about you. Now he can’t feel that anymore, not when he is suffering like this. He can’t bear those eyes. 

Steve stares at you, at the back of your head. He watches. He watches how another man holds your face and kisses you. That’s all he can do. Watch. He knows he should move. He knows he should turn around and get inside the RV, wait for you there. But he is frozen. Stuck in place. 

Just like you, if he looked closer. 

When Aaron pulls away, he brushes his knuckles against your cheek. 

“Remember to contact me once you arrive so I know that you’re safe. And if you need me to come pick you up, use the coordinates, and I’ll do so.” Aaron says, looking into your eyes deeply. 

“Okay.” You whisper, nodding. 

“Okay.” Aaron nods and leans down once more, this time only giving you a short peck instead of a full-blown kiss. It’s still enough to make you blush, to make you flustered beneath his eyes. 

You squeeze his wrist and give him one last smile. 

“Goodbye, Aaron.” 

“Goodbye, Sunshine.” 

His smile looks a little mischievous, his wink too. You can’t tell what he is trying to say. But his eyes flicker between you and Steve. 

Steve, who isn’t even looking your way anymore when you turn to look at him, is facing away from you. 

If only you saw the tears in his eyes that he is hiding from you. 

You take a deep breath and look around one last time before you turn around and make your way inside the RV. You don’t know how much longer it will take to get to Nevada. You don’t know how much more pain you will have to bear till then. But you know that the rest of this journey won't be an easy one. 

“Hey Nance.” You say softly, smiling at the girl in the driver’s seat. 

She drops her map and turns to face you. You have seen her this morning, sneaking out of Tommy’s room with hickeys on her neck. She froze when she was met by the sight of you standing by the window and sipping on a freshly brewed coffee. You expected her to get awkward, but instead she smirked your way and told you that a girls talk was much needed. 

“Hey, you.” She smiles, eying you up and down. She leans her elbow against the steering wheel and points a finger at you. “We’re still having that conversation later.” 

“Yeah, yeah…” You whisper, growing flustered beneath her blue eyes. You don’t get to say much more because Steve stomps inside after you. He brushes past you and makes his way over to the couch. He sits down, refusing to look your way, and maybe it’s for the better, because you aren’t sure if you want him to look at you. 

Eddie walks in too, after saying his goodbyes. He waves at the two men one last time, giving them polite smiles before he shuts the door and locks it. He breathes in deeply and looks over at Steve. 

The worried look in his eyes makes you tense up, even more when the metalhead glances at you with emotions he hasn’t shown you before. You don’t know why, but it makes your chest ache, and it makes you unable to look at him longer. You force your eyes away from him and look down, awkwardly making your way to your seat, which was next to Steve. 

Eddie watched you intensely. His brown eyes take you in as he tries to read the expression on your face and the obvious tension in your shoulders. He wants to ask if you are okay, but then he looks over at Steve, who is looking out the window, refusing to turn towards the front of the RV, and he decides against it. 

With a sigh, he turns around and makes his way over to the passenger seat. He plops down and grabs the map off Nancy’s lap, only briefly glancing at the girl who is shaking her head at him in confusion. Her eyebrows are furrowed. Confusion and irritation were written all over her face. 

“You gonna drive or not, Wheeler?” 

Eddie’s voice was cold. The coldest you’ve ever heard. You never thought you would hear him talk like that, and much less towards Nancy, who looked just as surprised, and even hurt. She stuttered a bit, not knowing how to deal with Eddie’s sudden anger.

“I– Yes, I’m– Yeah.” She turns the engine key, and the RV comes to life. Steve was still not looking your way, and you felt nauseous as the motorhome rocked side to side. You weren’t going to be able to stand it, so you got up, and rushed towards the back where the bed was, creating distance between the two of you once more.

Steve felt his heart collapsing at how quickly you moved from his side. How quickly you couldn’t stand his presence. Just one minute passed since you sat down next to him, and it was enough. 

He stared at the floor, unable to speak, unable to move and Eddie noticed. His eyes moved from the map and towards Steve. He sighed, putting the map down, his eyes turning to look at Nancy who was driving.

“Change of plans. You go to the back, have your girls talk, while I drive and Steve is my copilot.” At his words, Nancy frowned, looking at him before staring back at the road.

“What? We– That’s not how we planned it– You can’t drive, your leg–”

“Well, I am changing it, and I can move my leg. So, stop the RV, and let me drive.” Steve’s eyes were wide at Eddie’s tone, finally noticing the change. He saw Nancy’s curls bob a little as she shook her head, slowly stopping the RV to get out of the Driver’s seat. Nancy didn’t even glance towards Steve as she passed, and the brown haired man could hear a sniffle following right behind her steps.

He heard the sliding door close, and Eddie stepped into the Driver’s seat, putting the radio on, for the very first time, and his cassette. Steve’s eyes widened, pushing himself up from the couch, and rushing to the passenger’s seat, shaking his head.

“Eddie, we can’t use the radio, it drains the battery–”

“You really wanna hear that?” Eddie’s eyes were knives towards Steve as he buckled himself up. The brown haired man trembled slightly at the realization that Nancy and you might be talking about last night. He certainly didn’t want to hear that. He shook his head, sitting on the passenger’s seat and buckling up, before grabbing the map. 

Eddie started the drive again, and the music of various metal bands filled the air. Steve frowned, looking at his friend.

“How did you get this?”

“Remember the barista? Back at the community? Yeah, he gave me a copy of his playlist. Fucking cool, isn’t it?” Steve nodded, looking back at the road as he felt the emptiness start to consume him a little.

“Everyone made at least one friend in there, huh.” Eddie cringed at his friend’s words, sighing.

“No one would have been able to handle all the Harrington charm.” He joked, and Steve shook his head, frowning.

“What?”

“Especially that grumpy attitude, and those amazing eyebags you have.” At Eddie’s jokes, Steve rolled his eyes.

“Wow, thanks for that man.” 

“Just trying to cheer someone up here.” Eddie stated as he whistled along the screaming that was coming out of the speakers. Steve cringed, looking at his friend again.

“Couldn’t you have at least gotten a tape that– I don’t know, would have been to everyone’s liking?”

“Aw, are you sad we don’t have Madonna in here?” At that, Steve finally cracked a small smile. A small victory on Eddie’s side. “Maybe I did get other cassettes, but I’m saving them for special occasions.” 

A beat of silence fills them after those jokes, the RV moving back and forth as Steve stares at the map. Clearly, Eddie didn’t need guidance. He had already inspected the map before, and Eddie had a good sense of direction. He always did. But maybe Steve was hallucinating. Maybe he was panicking, but he swore he heard Nancy’s gasp, or a laugh. So he made conversation again to add to the music.

“Why… the sudden change of attitude?”

“Come again?” Eddie asked, as if he hadn’t noticed himself how he was acting recently.

“You were a little… harsh? With Nance?” At Steve’s words, Eddie shrugged, shaking his head.

“Really? Didn’t think so.” Steve couldn’t help the uneasy feeling in his chest. He looked out of the window, knowing he won’t get Eddie’s thoughts out of his mouth any time soon. A pang of pain in his head interrupted his own though. He felt himself become a little light-headed as he looked at the road, the sight of it dizzying him. “Steve?”

“Huh? I’m– fine. I just got a little dizzy, that’s all–”

“You mean the lack of sleep. Try to get some–” But Steve immediately interrupted, holding onto the map tightly, looking down at it.

“I’m fine. Keep driving.” Eddie glanced at his best friend for a few seconds, then his eyes returned to the road ahead, his grip tightening on the steering wheel as anger filled him. The feeling of helplessness. The feeling of pure fear of losing Steve.

And no one else but him noticed.

-

Eddie was having a bad day. At least that’s what you told yourself on the first day of being back on the road. He was unusually quiet with you. He barely talked to you, and he barely looked at you. 

You thought that he got off on the wrong foot that morning, that maybe he didn’t want to talk, that he wasn’t feeling well, or just having a bad day like you or Steve, or even Nancy had before. But then the second day passed, and the third, and he was still not… his usual self. 

A weird energy hangs in the air. It makes you feel uncomfortable. It makes you feel guilty, and you don’t know why. You didn’t do anything wrong, did you? But taking a look at Nancy, and seeing those sad blue eyes follow her best friend, who barely talks to her these days, makes you feel like it is your fault… somehow. You don’t know if something happened between them, if they had an argument or a disagreement when you weren’t around, but something tells you that you are the reason for the way he is treating her. 

Her eyes are sad whenever they fall on Eddie, but they are filled with anger when they lock with hazel ones. Steve cowers away every time her ice cold glare hits him. 

He doesn’t even look at you – only when you aren’t looking at him. His eyes are glued to you every chance he gets when you are busy with something. They roam your face and your body. Those eyes filled with longing would break your heart if only you caught him. 

It’s snowing outside, strongly so. The wind is heavy too, making it impossible for any of you to sit outside for dinner the way you did all these days. When you and Nancy ate your dinner at the small table in the RV, Steve and Eddie left to eat theirs outside. In those three days you have been on the road, the four of you haven’t sat down to eat together once. Tonight is the first, and it feels awkward. Nobody is talking. The only sound filling the RV is the scraping against plates and the howling of the wind outside. 

Eddie is staring at his bowl, shoving down his food with an irritated look on his face. Steve’s eyes are glued to his food as well, though he doesn’t eat as fastly as Eddie does. Nancy, who is sitting beside you on the sofa, is picking at the beans while your plate is completely untouched. Your stomach is empty, but your appetite isn’t there at all. The thought of even picking up your fork and taking a bite makes you feel nauseous. 

You look down at the map, looking at all the possible directions to take to get to Nevada. You know you won’t get home any time soon, but you know that some roads would take you there faster while others wouldn’t. Some could bring unwanted obstacles. A hoard of infected that you somehow managed to avoid so far. A tree blocking the road, forcing you to take another exit. Monsters. Another snowstorm. Unfortunately the map can’t provide you with this kind of information. 

“You should eat.” Nancy says softly, nudging your shoulder. 

“I’m not hungry.” You mumble, not looking up from the map. 

Steve glances at you, worriedly looking between your untouched plate and your face. He notices the dark circles under your eyes. The line between your eyebrows. The tired look deeply into your features. 

His heart aches. It constantly aches now after he lost you. You are right there. You are right in front of him, and yet it feels like you are gone. What he would do to feel you in his arms again. To hold you and–

“You should still eat.” 

You tense up at the sound of Eddie’s voice. The roughness and coldness in it being so clear. It doesn’t only make you freeze. 

You look up to find him staring at you intensely. His brown eyes which are usually filled with warmth, are… cold, just like his voice is. 

“I said I’m not hungry, Eddie–”

He slams his empty plate on the table, making you flinch a little. 

“Yeah, you said the same this morning and last night. You are not eating, you are not sleeping. If you keep going that way, you’ll get sick again and hold us back. Do you wanna see your family or not?” 

Your eyes widen and you open your mouth, though your mind is empty and you couldn’t form a sentence if you tried. His words feel like a slap in your face. The hurt residing in your chest is deep enough as it is. To feel such anger from someone who did nothing but defend and comfort you till now feels awfully painful. He had never been angry at you before. He had never done anything to make you doubt how he feels about you. Eddie had your back from the start, back when he knew barely anything about you. He was the one who fought for you to stay with them, and now… this?

Steve’s heart aches at the sight of your shocked expression. His sad eyes soften when he notices the hurt flashing in your eyes. He froze at Eddie’s words. 

“Okay, what crawled up your ass?” Nancy finally snaps, dropping her bowl on the table the way he did as she glares daggers into her best friend, having had enough of his attitude and the silent treatment he is punishing her with. She felt nothing but sadness for the past few days but now she can’t help but feel angry. “What is your problem?”

Eddie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he turns to face her. 

“I am not talking to you.” 

“Clearly!” Nancy scoffs, shaking her head at him. “You are being an asshole.” She snaps, having had enough of this. 

You blink, snapping out of it. Your eyes meet his for just a second, but a second enough to see the worry and the pity. God. You don’t need that. His eyebrows are furrowed as he continues to look at you, and you can’t take it. You force your eyes away from him. 

“Right.” Eddie scoffs. 

“No, you’ve been an asshole since the party! Giving us the silent treatment and only opening your mouth to be a jerk… really, Munson?” Nancy exclaims, tilting her head to the side as she stares at her best friend. Her words come from anger and despair, but her eyes say something else. Something Eddie can’t even see through the haze that he is in. 

You look between them, and when you see the way they look at each other, the way they never did before, your heart starts pounding a little. 

“That’s rich coming from you.” Eddie laughs humorlessly. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Nancy snaps, squinting her eyes at him. 

“You were an asshole first, Wheeler. You were a real asshole.” Eddie mumbles, and for the first time in days, you see something other than indifference in his eyes. You see disappointment towards Nancy. 

And you see the way Nancy freezes as she gets quiet for a moment. The realization sinks in when her eyes flicker over to Steve, only for a brief second. 

The lump in your throat grows, and your heart starts pounding a little faster when you look between them. Did she say something to him? Did they argue when you weren’t there? Did she hurt him? 

Anxiety creeps up on you as your eyes flicker back and forth between them, noticing how Steve avoids her glaring blue eyes, no ounce of remorse or guilt in them, while his are filled with sadness. 

“With good reason.” Nancy murmurs under her breath, shaking her head at Eddie. 

“Really?” Eddie scoffs as he leans forward. “If you really think so then I have every reason to be disappointed in you.” 

The fear that you have been the reason for all of this turns into harsh reality at his next words. 

“You took care of someone you met just months ago, when the one who has been here for years should have been your priority.” 

There have been many moments in your life when you have felt like your heart stopped beating, when the pain was so deep that you froze and could only stare. Harsh words have been thrown at you before. Friendships have been broken. Friendships that were only ever one-sided. People you gave your everything to, dropped you without batting an eye, replacing you without a struggle. 

In the end it was only ever you. No matter how much you tried, you never found people who wanted you. 

You found something real here. You found them. Eddie and Nancy, who took you in, invited you into their home without a moment of hesitation. And even Steve, who despite his efforts to push you away, let you in. 

It was good. It was nice. For a moment, you had everything you ever wanted. You can’t believe that the reason for it to fall apart would be yourself. And even worse, it didn’t only fall apart for you. It’s falling apart for them now too. They are falling apart. 

The lump in your throat grows bigger and bigger, cutting off the air to breathe. Your eyes start burning with unwanted tears as you look between Eddie and Nancy. Their voices are faded now as they still argue. All you see are the angry glares they throw at each other while Steve looks helplessly between them. 

Your ears start ringing, and your chest starts hurting so badly when you take a good look at him. 

He is suffering. 

He is suffering because of you. You broke that friendship between you because you couldn’t control your feelings. 

Nancy is suffering because she is on the way to losing her best friend, because of you. Because she was angry at Steve for hurting you, because she chose your side when she shouldn’t have. You never wanted this. You never wanted her to pick a side. You never wanted her to be angry at him. 

“Sunshine?” 

You snap out of it. Blinking a few times, you look up at him to see him eyeing your face. His hazel eyes are filled with worry, and you can’t take it. You can’t. 

Nancy and Eddie pay no attention to you or him; they keep snapping at each other. Your name is never mentioned, and Eddie doesn’t throw you in directly, but you know that every jab is meant to be directed at you. 

And you can’t take this anymore. 

You can’t watch them fall apart anymore. 

You can’t let yourself be the reason for them to lose one another. 

You get up and storm away, not noticing how Steve was ready to run after you, thinking that you were about to go through the door and out into the storm. But he settles back into his seat when you lock yourself in the bathroom. 

You grip the edges of the sink as you take a deep breath. One look in the mirror is enough to cause those tears to fall. An indifference towards yourself growing deeply. The sickening feeling in your chest keeps spreading as the realization sinks deeper and deeper. 

Of course, you had to ruin that one good thing in your life. 

And you dragged them down with you. 

But you can’t, you won’t keep doing that. You won’t ruin what they have. You won’t add further damage. 

So, despite the pain and the heartache, your next decision is an easy one. 

-

Steve is sipping on what must be his third cup of coffee, though it does little to take away his exhaustion. He is tired, more than ever before, but he can’t sleep. Every time his eyes close, cruel pictures invade his mind. Nightmares that only ever consisted of Robin and how he could not save her are now replaced with you getting ripped away from him, and every time it happens differently, leaving him to feel more afraid after each nightmare. 

He is sitting by the fire, across from Nancy, whose eyes are practically burning with rage. He felt small beneath her gaze before, feeling the indifference towards him in a whole new way. It makes him feel uncomfortable, but also a little irritated because she won’t even really talk to him. All she does is snap at him and glare daggers into his skin. 

It worsened after he saw you talking to her earlier. 

The whole day was spent in awkward, tense silence after Eddie’s and Nancy’s fight the night before. Nobody really talked to each other. Nobody really looked at one another. Only when Eddie decided that it was time for a break from driving were you all forced to interact in some way. 

While Eddie and Steve prepared a little fire, you had dragged Nancy away from them and towards the little stream Eddie stopped the RV by. Steve couldn’t make out any words that left your mouth, though he saw the sadness on your face from a mile away. His curiosity made him watch the whole interaction, and when he saw the shock and denial on Nancy’s face as she shook her head, his heart fell a little. Despite not knowing what it was that you had said to her, he felt anxiety creeping up on him. Nancy kept shaking her head and fighting you over whatever you were saying, though he could see that you were set on it. 

You avoided his eyes when you made your way back to the RV, and you haven’t left it ever since. 

Now he is left dealing with Nancy’s hateful eyes as she is cleaning her gun. He wants to glare back at her, but the brunette looks a little intimidating right now, especially with that gun in her head. He is convinced that a part of her wants to aim it at him. 

He takes another sip of his coffee and looks around. The little spot that Eddie had picked is beautiful. A hidden little spot in the forest, surrounded by pine trees. A pretty stream where Eddie is sitting by on his camping chair, away from everyone. The sun is shining, melting the snow on the ground. It’s difficult to appreciate this scenery when his heart is aching and his friend group is falling apart. 

When he looks back at Nancy, she huffs and rolls her eyes, making him clench his jaw. 

“You got something you want to say to me, Nance?” 

“Nothing nice.”

Steve scoffs and nods his head. 

“Yeah, I figured that.” 

“So we can agree that you’re an asshole? Amazing.”

Steve squints his eyes at her. Irritation bubbling up inside of him. He’s had enough of this. He’s had enough of her attitude, and he’s had enough of watching Eddie treat you so coldly. He’s had enough of them picking sides. He’s had enough of them fighting each other, when they were inseparable before. 

It’s nice to know that he isn’t the only one who feels protective over you, but he is sick of everything that has been happening after leaving Wyoming. 

He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth, though he never uses his voice. The words get caught in his throat when the RV door opens and you come out, stealing his attention. Your eyes meet his for a second, and his whole body freezes when he sees the redness in them. The circles under your eyes are deep and dark. Your whole expression is one of sadness. You have been crying. 

It isn’t only his heart that aches at the sight of you, it’s his whole being that aches. He swallows harshly and holds the cup tighter in his hand. The urge to drop everything and rush to your side and pull you into his arms is stronger than ever. 

But he can’t. 

You break eye contact and move down the stairs as you tug your jacket tighter around your body. You look around for Eddie, and when you spot him by the stream, you start making your way towards him. Ignoring Steve’s eyes on you. Ignoring Nancy’s worried gaze. 

You breathe in the fresh air. Nerves running high as you approach the metalhead. You clear your throat to announce your presence behind him, but he doesn’t even look up. He is staring at the water, smoking a cigarette.

You stop beside him and appreciate the view before you for a second, and you take another deep breath before you turn to face him. 

“Eddie?”

He only hums in response, not even acknowledging your presence. 

“Can we talk?” You ask, hating how shaky your voice sounds. 

“Sure.” He mumbles, still not looking at you. He brings his cigarette up to his lips, taking another drag. 

You shift on your feet uncomfortably, blinking as you feel your eyes growing hot again. You never thought that you would have to deal with this. You never thought that you would be on the receiving end of his indifference. But he made things very clear last night. 

You wait for him to look up, to at least take a look at you, but he doesn’t. 

“Can you at least look at me?” You know that you are starting to sound desperate, but you can’t help it. You thought you meant to him as much as he meant to you. 

You can see him clenching his jaw, taking a deep breath, and huffing. 

Your shoulders drop, and your face falls further. The pain is hitting you harder than before.

“Okay then… I guess not.” You mumble, looking down at your feet as your vision gets blurry. “You won’t have to deal with me much longer.” 

At that, his head finally snaps up and he looks at you with furrowed eyebrows. 

“What?” He asks, no longer interested in the view before him or his cigarette. 

“You barely look at me, you don’t even talk to me anymore. I can tell that you don’t want me around anymore–”

Finally, he stands up and steps towards you. His eyes are big and confused. 

“What are you trying to say?” He asks, trying to make you meet his eyes as he tilts his chin down. 

You take another deep breath after swallowing the lump in your throat. You look up, still blinking so as to not let the tears fall. 

“I already told Nancy… I’m… after I find my way home, I’m taking my family back to Wyoming.” 

It’s a decision you didn’t want to make. You wanted to go with them. But you are not going to invade Steve’s home. You are not going to add further damage to a friendship you already managed to break. 

Eddie freezes. 

His anger filled eyes widen, flashing with confusion and shock. 

“W-What? What… Why? You said you were coming with us–”

You shake your head and cross your arms over your chest. 

“It’s better for everyone that way. I’m not going to move into a town he is supposed to feel comfortable in,” you point in Steve’s direction before you angrily wipe your fallen tear away. “And I’m not gonna be the reason for you all to fall apart. You were right, Nancy shouldn’t have taken care of me, she should have been there for him.”

Eddie furrows his eyebrows. Guilt flashes in his eyes, and it crashes over him how awful his words must have sounded to you. 

“Sunshine–”

You shake your head, trying to stop further tears from falling. 

“No, Eddie. It’s okay. I appreciate what you all have done for me, but I won’t stand by and watch you lose each other because of me.” You mumble, your voice getting quieter now as you don’t trust it anymore. 

Eddie shakes his head, staring at you, bewildered. 

“I broke up the group enough as it is. I’m not coming with you. Final word.” Before another tear can roll down your cheek, you turn around and walk away from him. Every step becomes harder as you make your way back to the RV. 

“Sunshine?” Nancy murmurs, getting up from her chair already. 

“I’m gonna take a shower.” You mumble, not looking at her or Steve’s way as you make your way up the steps and slam the door behind you. 

Eddie stands back for a moment, letting your words sink in. Guilt and sadness rushing through him, but even more so, it’s anger and irritation. You aren’t the reason for all of this. It’s the lack of communication between you and the brunette who keeps staring at you with sad eyes instead of acting upon his feelings. This could have been between you; this should have been between you. He doesn’t know how it all blew up like this. But the moment sides were picked, it all started falling apart, and now even more so. 

Do you really think that they will be better off without you? 

Do you really think that you mean this little to them that they could just move on from you and act like you were never there? 

Do you really not see how they were falling apart before you? How Steve wasn’t even there with them? 

He’s had enough. 

Eddie takes a deep breath and starts making his way towards his friends. The despair inside of him to fix all of this running deep. He storms his way over to where Steve is sitting. The man looks up at him, with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips parted. 

“You need to snap out of it, right now!” He points a finger at him. 

“What?” 

Nancy looks between them, confused. She draws back a little when the metalhead turns to face her with anger in his eyes. 

“You knew?” 

She shakes her head, tilting her head to the side, “huh?”

Eddie clenches his jaw, sucking in a deep breath, he tries to calm himself down. 

“That she is not coming to California.”

Nancy’s shoulder slumped, and the confusion on her face faded away. She straightens her back and glances at Steve, who looks like he is frozen in place. His hazel eyes are wide, filled with shock and fear. 

“What…?” 

His voice sounds broken enough to even make her feel bad. She looks down and sighs. The feeling of Eddie’s eyes glaring into her skin, overwhelming her a little. 

“She told me earlier… I couldn’t convince her otherwise…” She mumbles softly. 

Steve’s whole body is frozen. He is staring into blank space as his mind is screaming at him to do something. Not having you anymore, not feeling you in your arms anymore, not being with you like he was before, is one thing, but losing you completely is another. He can’t go on without you, not like this. He was so afraid of losing you that he didn’t notice that he was already on the way there. 

Eddie huffs, shaking his head at this whole situation. He brings his hand up and runs it through his hair. He looks down at Steve, feeling a slight anger towards him again. If only he opened his mouth. 

Eddie knows he needs time, but that time is running out now. 

He thought that their conversation on the porch the night after the party was a push enough, but apparently not, because he still hasn’t done anything about it. 

“What are you going to do?” Eddie asks, forcing him to look up. 

Steve knits his eyebrows together, pursing his lips as he shakes his head in question. 

“What–?”

“Are you going to do something about it or are you just gonna let her do that fucking shit?” Eddie asks, being fed up with everything. 

Steve takes a deep breath. Eddie’s anger is contagious because he is starting to feel it too. Eddie is trying to speak with his eyes, to remind him of what they talked about, to remind him how he felt when you left with another man… just for one night. 

“Eddie–” Nancy starts. 

“No! Shut up!” Eddie snaps at her, pointing a finger at her. “This has nothing to do with you!” 

The girl draws back in shock. Her eyes flicker back and forth between Eddie and Steve. The latter getting angrier each passing second now too. 

“Are you going to let her go back to him?” Eddie asks, knowing where to hit him. 

Steve’s eyes darken at his words. The anger now is so clear in his features. He sucks in a sharp breath. The thought of you leaving him, the thought of being the reason for you to find your way back to Aaron makes him sick, but it also makes him snap, finally. 

“Steve…” Nancy mumbles, seeing the expression on his face. “What are you gonna do?”

Steve slams his cup on the ground, and he gets up. He runs his hand through his hair, huffing as he stares at Eddie. 

“Yeah, no…” Steve shakes his head. Everything boils up inside of him, everything and all at once. It explodes. And he is unable to hold it back any longer. “Fuck that shit.” He grumbles and brushes past the metalhead, and he storms inside the RV.

The despair grows inside of him, making the anger so much more intense than before. A mixture of emotions rushing through him, and he can’t even place what exactly he is feeling. 

Just as he slams the door shut behind him, you come out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around your body. Your skin is still shining from the water, your hair still dripping. The both of you freeze for a moment, staring at one another. 

You notice his expression, it’s hard not to when he stares at you like this, breathing heavily and looking angrier than ever before. 

“What–”

“We need to talk.” 

You bring your hand up to the knot on your towel, holding it. You huff as you shake your head at him, “there’s nothing to talk about, Steve.” You say as though you don’t miss him, as if you don’t feel anger for how all of this went down. 

“Yes, there is!” Steve exclaims, throwing his hands up. “I’m done with this…I can’t take this anymore.” He points between you and himself. “And now I find out that you aren’t coming with us to California!? Were you ever gonna tell me about that, or did you plan to just hop off the RV and pretend like nothing ever happened between us?” 

“Nothing happened. You made that very clear, Steve. I thought there was a chance, but you quickly shut that down again.” You mumble in confusion, not understanding what the look in his eyes is for, but you see the rage flashing in them when they notice the mark on your collarbone. 

“I–”

“You know why I thought we had a chance?” You ask, feeling irritation spark at you now too. You have thought about what happened many times. You have thought of all the reasons for your unusual courage. You have thought about what Eddie had said about you and Steve before. You have thought about what Aaron had said. “You gave me mixed signals and then you chickened out like a little boy.” 

Steve’s eyes widen at your words, having not expected something like this at all. 

“A little boy– excuse me?” 

“You said I’m childish,” you point at yourself, feeling a rush of sudden anger. “But have you looked into a mirror?” 

Steve draws back in shock. This is not how this was supposed to play out. This is not a sight he expected from you, especially not after you stormed inside the RV looking like you were about to break down. 

But your anger is so clear on your face now. Your eyes are burning with it, just like his own. The energy in the room shifts into something stronger. 

“What did you just say?” He asks as he takes a step towards you. 

“You heard me. You’re a fucking boy. You knew how I felt about you, and you still decided to play with my feelings. Friends don’t sleep in each others’ arms, Steve. Friends don’t hold each others’ hands the way we did. Friends don’t do what we did! You knew exactly what you were doing to me!” You finally get it all off your chest. You finally feel your chest decompressing from every single word you wanted to say to him from the moment he didn’t give you a minute’s peace.

Steve swallows harshly. Guilt creeping back into his chest. He now sees what it seemed like to you and it makes him feel like absolute shit but knowing that you found comfort in someone else right after hurts. Someone you are willing to run back to now. 

“I did what I thought was best! For the both of us! And you, on the other hand, you behaved like a fucking brat, who didn’t get what she wanted and threw herself at the first guy she met!” Steve snaps, letting all his anger out as he moves even closer to you. 

You stare at him in disbelief. You take a step forward too. “You seem to have forgotten what I told you at the mansion! I wanna live my life, Steve! I want to experience things! And I told you that I would do it if given the chance–”

“A chance?” Steve scoffs as hurt flashes in his eyes. “Was that what I was to you? A chance? A possibility?” 

“What!?” You almost yell. 

“Was I like Aaron?! Was that the reason why you approached me, Sunshine?”

How could he even think such a thing? How could he even ask such a thing? After everything that you have done for him? 

Steve’s eyes are so angry, but even through that, you can see something more. You can see the hurt and something else…

“If I only looked for a possibility, then I would have gone for someone like Eddie, not you!” 

He scoffs, shaking his head at you, “what is that supposed to mean!?”

“You hated me, Steve. You made sure I felt that, what makes you think that you would have been a choice if that was the only thing I looked for!?” You ask, tilting your head at him in a way that drives him crazy. 

Steve’s shoulders slump, and he averts his eyes for a second, letting them fall back on your collarbone again. The evidence of another man’s lips on your body now etched on your skin. A reminder of what he was supposed to have, what he could have had if he didn’t push you away. 

How could he have let this go so far? 

You are right, you did tell him that if given the chance, you would take it, and he remembers how nauseous those words have made him feel. 

And he feels the nausea still, just worse than before. To know that he let you slip through his fingers. To know that he is the reason why you spent the night with him… His heart aches in a way it never did before, and it makes his eyes burn. 

“I never– I just never thought that you would actually–” his voice breaks, and he has to turn around, feeling choked up. He feels such anger towards himself that he throws his bruised fist into the wall beside the door. 

You stare at the back of his head. Disbelief and shock cross your features as the realization begins to sink in slowly. 

A friend wouldn’t behave that way. A friend wouldn’t feel such anger over you spending a night with someone. A friend wouldn’t feel so… so jealous. You can’t help but feel annoyed now. 

“Don’t tell me you’re going to act all jealous on me now, Steve! How dare you feel jealous after what you did!?” 

Steve freezes. A scoff falls from his lips. 

“Jealous…” He mumbles and turns around to face you again, shocking you once more when he reveals tears in his eyes. “Try feeling like I’m being stabbed in my heart, in my lungs, in my stomach, Sunshine! Try feeling like my entire world was flipped and I’m back in the upside down again, only that I’m not, and it feels even worse than that!” 

You freeze at his words, at his tears, at all of this. You are confused and you are lost, not following along anymore. All that you can see is a hurt man, suffering because of you, because of his feelings for you. Feelings you thought he did not have. 

Your heart starts aching all over again, and your throat closes up on you. 

A tear rolls down his cheek as he takes a step towards you. 

“I didn’t want to be with you because if something were to happen to me, I didn’t want to be the reason for you to hold back on anything. I already lost someone dear to me, I know how it feels… I don’t want you to go through that too. And the thought of having you, of reaching happiness, of having a life with you, only to lose you… I wouldn’t survive that, Sunshine.” He admits, his voice above a whisper now as those tears roll down his cheeks. 

Your eyes are wide, and the anger is replaced with shock now. Your heart is pounding in your chest. Your breath is knocked out of you. 

Steve takes a deep breath, sniffling as he takes the final step towards you, cornering you against the wall behind you. 

“But fuck… Seeing you with him filled me with as much pain and despair as if you had just died.” 

Your whole face falls and pales at his confession. Your heart drops to your stomach as your eyes well up with tears. The guilt that you have felt before now is growing bigger and bigger, burning you in ways you have never felt before. 

He never rejected you because he didn’t reciprocate your feelings. He never led you on. He never gave mixed signals. He never– Oh god. You stare at him, at his suffering eyes, at the tears that you have caused. 

And Steve can see it. He can see the guilt and the regret in your eyes. He can see the disappointment that you feel for yourself now. 

Your bottom lip trembles as you open your mouth to speak. 

“I’m… I’m–”

Steve shakes his head as he looks into your glassy eyes. 

“Don’t you dare say sorry. Don’t. It– As much as I fucking hate it, there’s no one to blame but me. Don’t say sorry for trying to live your life.”

You sniffle as the anger fades away completely. You can’t even bring yourself to look into his eyes anymore. You tilt your chin down, casting your eyes on the ground. 

“Steve… What is… What is the point in telling me all this now?” You whisper, not trusting your voice anymore. 

Steve had made his decision. He did the night on the porch after he talked to Eddie. He just didn’t find the courage, not until now. Not until he heard her voice in his head. 

‘Don’t be a dingus.’ 

Steve reaches his hands out to you, wrapping them around your wrists, making you look back up at him. He can see the troubled emotions in your teary eyes. 

“Let me go, Steve.” You whisper shakily as you try to pull away, but he doesn’t let you; if anything, it makes him hold you tighter. He takes another step forward, pushing you up against the wall, pressing himself against you. 

He is breathing heavily, and his heart is pounding in his chest, threatening to burst through his skin. His eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips. 

“I don’t think so.” He shakes his head. He will never let go again, he will never let you slip through his fingers again, he will never let you walk away again. 

You feel his tender yet tight hold on your wrists, his skin against your own after so long. You can feel his body against yours. You can feel his breath on your skin. You can feel everything, everything you have longed for. 

“Steve–” 

“I’m never letting you go again, Sunshine.” Steve whispers as he breaks all the promises he had made to himself and smashes his lips against yours, taking your breath away completely. He cradles your cheeks and kisses you in a way no one ever did before. Passionately. Roughly. Desperately. 

It takes you a moment to move, to reciprocate. You are too surprised, too shocked by what is happening. Your heart is pounding in your chest so strongly, you fear that it might explode. 

Steve is kissing you. 

Steve is kissing you like he’s been craving it for god knows how long. 

And the kiss tastes of tears – sorrowful yet aggressive. His lips are soft against your own, his touch even softer. And when it finally really sinks in, you close your eyes and lean into him. You throw your arms around his neck and press yourself against him. Standing on your tippy toes isn’t enough, you place your toes on his boots to be even closer to him. You let go of everything and kiss him back just as desperately. 

His whimper vibrates against your lips, sending shivers down your spine and lust rushing to your core. 

His heart nearly combusts as he finally feels you. He can feel the way your knees buckle when he deepens the kiss without wasting a second, and it only leads him to hold you tighter. He wraps one arm around your waist, securing you against him. 

His large palm covers your entire cheek. His nose bumps into yours as his lips continue to move at a fast pace. He swipes his tongue along your bottom lip, needing to feel you more, needing to deepen the kiss further and further. Your lips are so soft, so perfect against his own. How did he wait for so long? How could he waste so much time? Kissing you feels like everything he imagined and more. 

And kissing him feels like everything you have thought it would. It makes you weak in the knees. It makes you ache for more. It makes you crave him more and more and more. You cup his face, holding him with both hands. Your heart flutters when he moans and holds you tighter. 

Even as you both grow breathless, you refuse to break the kiss you both have craved for so long, not wanting the moment to end even when you both know that this is just the beginning of it all. 

Only when you feel like you are about to pass out from the lack of air do you pull away. You open your eyes at the same time. No words need to be said. Your eyes speak enough words. 

“I’m done being stupid.” Steve whispers as he looks at you through hooded eyes. He leans down and pecks your lips. “I want to live.” Kiss. “I’m so fucking scared but I want to live; with you.” Kiss. “I’m done pretending you don’t drive me crazy.” Kiss. “I want you so bad, god, you have no idea what you do to me, Sunshine.” 

You whimper at his action, at all the kisses, at all his words. The hope that once bloomed inside of you, rising up from the dead. Your eyes are wide, glinting with a happiness he hasn’t seen in so long. 

“Show me.” You whisper, pleading with your eyes. “Please.” 

He never planned for this to happen, let alone like this. But who is he to deny you any longer? 

He wastes no second to connect his lips to yours again, and this time you don’t hesitate to kiss back right away, making him weak in the knees as well. His heart soars in his chest, beating so strongly out of happiness – just like yours does. 

You pull him back and away from the spot you are still standing on and Steve doesn’t hesitate to back you up and towards the back of the RV, not breaking the kiss once, not even as he rips his jacket off and you help him out of it, pushing it down his arms and throwing it on the ground. 

He picks you up, his arms around your body, and your legs dangle a bit from the ground, so he doesn’t step on your toes while walking towards the bed, making you whimper into his mouth. He can’t help but smile into the kiss at the sound. 

You couldn’t believe that you were finally kissing him, and what this night led to. You felt the edge of the bed at your calves and then he lowered the both of you down, your back hitting the bed. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, tightly, the kiss never ending. If you could stay like this forever, you would. You definitely would. 

Steve was trying not to lose his mind as his tongue danced with yours. As your legs spread so he could fit in between. This only happened in his very rare nice dreams. Dreams he had when he only held you close to him. When you two slept with each other. He should savor the first time between the two of you a little more, but his feelings were clawing at his chest, begging to come out. 

And you wanted him. You told him to show you, and that he will. He was done denying you. He was done being a fucking idiot. He was done being a walking corpse. He wanted to live, and his only oxygen was you. He loves Eddie, Nancy, the teens… But somehow, Steve knows that you are his reason for living now. As horrible as it sounds, as unfair as it is, but you had carved your way into his soul so easily. Terrifyingly easy.

His hips rubbed into yours, and you could feel him completely because you were naked underneath that towel. You should be feeling shame, embarrassment, but all you can feel now is how happy you are. How much you want this. How much you need him. How much you need to show him how you feel. 

He moaned into your mouth, and you never thought you would hear that in your life, and much less because you were the reason for this sound. It’s been a long while for Steve, and rubbing his growing bulge against your naked center, was not doing good things for his brain chemistry… nor his dignity.

But it was a point of no return now. He pulled away from your lips, his breath hitting your lips heavily, his eyes finding yours for a split second. His mouth found your cheek, then your jaw, then he started going down. You gasped when you felt him kiss your pulse point, then nip at it. Shivers ran down your entire spine as your nails dug into his scalp.

Steve was in heaven with the taste of your skin on his tongue. Finally. You were like a forbidden fruit. You were that chocolate you delight yourself on a cheat day. You tasted divine. You were perfect, and he always knew you would be, but now he had the proof of it. 

“Steve–” You breathed out, and he hummed with delight as his hips rutted into yours again, the desperation growing at each second.

“Perfect… So fucking perfect, Sunshine…” He mumbled into your skin as he moved to the other side of the neck. His mind flickered with the memory of what’s on your collarbone, so he guided his mouth towards it, and your back arched a bit at the feeling on your sensitive skin.

You gasped when you felt his mouth engulf the mark someone else had left on your skin. Steve groaned, his hands digging onto your waist, fingers printing on your skin through the damp towel. He was going to rebrand you. He didn’t want traces of the other man on you. He had to cover them. Gladly, this was the only mark he could see that needed to be erased.

He made it messy, bigger, red with purple hues all around it. He pulled away to admire his work, and his entire body shook when he saw you underneath him. Your wet hair was all over the mattress, your chest moving up and down, your eyes half lidded, and your lips all swollen thanks to his kisses. 

And his mark. Now big. Vibrant. 

His jaw clenched, moving downwards again to take your lips with his only for a peck, making you whine when you felt him pull away. He chuckled slightly, his lips moving to nip at your jaw, to then breathe into your ear, his hips now moving in circles against you, and you could only gasp and moan at the feeling of his bulge rubbing against your clit.

“I’m so mad at myself–” And you felt him bite onto your earlobe, making you sigh. “So fucking mad… I wanted to be your first. I really wanted to…” He sighed against your ear and then moved down to kiss underneath it. “But I can work with being your last, so please– Please, Sunshine–”

“Steve–” You breathe out, your nails digging into his shoulder blades, feeling him grow bigger in his pants. He didn’t hear you, or that’s what you thought at least, because you felt him kiss your pulse point again, making a moan escape your lips. “Steve–”

He finally realized you were calling out to him, so he pulled away from you, breathing heavily. His eyes looked down at you, and you could see the fire inside his hazel orbs. How much desperation, hunger, and emotions swerved inside. 

“You don’t– Not now–?” You shushed him, shaking your head at him, your eyes finding his lips, you were already missing. 

“You… can still be my first.”

And Steve stopped breathing. What did you just say? 

“What?” The question came out more cracked than he anticipated, but he couldn’t help it. He really couldn’t. Your eyes were looking up at him, a guilty frown appearing on your eyebrows as you looked away, gulping down your nervousness.

“I– I couldn’t…” And fuck, you didn’t want to cry. You really didn’t, but there were so many feelings coursing through you that you could barely begin to describe each one. Your voice cracked a bit as you kept talking. “I kept– I kept thinking about you… And I just couldn’t… I fucking couldn’t…”

And Steve could sense the hidden anger behind your tone. Not directed at him, but probably at yourself. He had rejected you, and an opportunity presented to you, one you wanted to experience before you passed, or before something happened, and you could not fulfill it because… of him. 

How could he have been so fucking stupid? He really didn’t deserve your forgiveness. He didn’t deserve you. You thought of him in times when the only person you should care about is yourself. Steve didn’t deserve you… But even with that knowledge, Steve wasn’t going to ever let you go. He was going to fight to be the man you deserved. Not a boy. A man. 

And he felt so selfish for feeling happy about this outcome. He felt so evil for feeling relief out of you not having your first time with that man. He felt so greedy for feeling happy that now, he was the one to experience you first. Hoping he would be the last as well. That you would know of no other body but his.

But then it dawned on him just how rough he was being. How straightforward he was. Fuck, this should be special, and he was acting like an animal. He wanted to wreck you just seconds ago, ruin you for eternity, but now, all he wanted was to make this special. Make your first time be a nice one, almost painless. 

So he drew his hips back, and your head snapped towards him again, desperate eyes following, which caught him off guard. Your arms came to wrap around his shoulders again, your head shaking from side to side. He gulped, his hips stuttering with the need to press down again, but fuck– He wanted to be a gentleman. 

“Sunshine–”

“Steve, baby, please–” His brain chemistry completely malfunctioned at the nickname. His hips came crashing down onto you, instantly, as if he were magnetized. A moan escaped your lips before you spoke again. “I want it. I want you. Please…” 

“Are you sure?” He had to ask and hear that this was fine from your part. His self control was wavering the more he thought of what was about to happen, trying to remember where were the condoms Eddie had jokingly brought into the fucking RV.

You gave him a nod, his hair falling over his face as he stared down at you. The both of you were breathing heavily, looking down at each other, eyes filled with need, with want, with desperation. He gulped as his head reeled with anticipation, his eyes falling to the knot that secured the towel to your chest. 

His eyes found yours again, and you gulped, fingers kneading into his scalp softly. You gave him a slow nod again, wanting him to continue. You needed him to continue. You’ve been craving this for too long. You’ve been craving someone like him for too long. 

He pecked you once, soft, long, and your belly turned with the amount of butterflies that just burst inside. When he pulled away, his hand moved towards the knot, slowly, fingers grazing over the fabric. He would see you bare. He would be able to drink you in, completely, and his heart could barely stand it.

“Stevie…” And when you whisper his name sweetly, it does it. His fingers hook inside, and he is pulling–

The side door of the RV bursts open, fierce stomps rushing in as well as jagged breaths from your other two friends, who you have forgotten completely about for the past minutes. Or hours. It felt like hours. Kissing Steve felt endless, if you had a say. Steve hissed when he pressed himself completely on you so your dignity would not be displayed to the people who had just entered.

“SORRY, LOVEBIRDS, WE GOTTA GO!!!” Eddie yelled once, not before turning his head to see the display of Steve on top of you on the bed. He wanted to yell in victory, but the slam of the RV’s door closing snapped him away, and he sprang into action again, running to the driver’s seat.

Nancy was breathing heavily, her eyes widening at the scene at the back of the RV, making her squeal and clench her eyes tightly as she rushed towards the folding screen that separated the bedroom from the rest of the RV, blindly waving her hands around to try to give you guys privacy. Steve was frowning, his head looking over his shoulder in complete and utter confusion as Nancy finally closed the blinds.

“What is going on!?” He yelled, and you were still in another dimension, trying to gather yourself again to understand the situation. You could hear Nancy yelling, and then a slam at the top of your head, at the top of the RV. Then another. Your fear creeped in as Steve snapped his head to look up, then the engines came to life.

“EDDIE TOUCHED SOMETHING HE SHOULDN’T HAVE!” Nancy yelled, and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest at the mix of emotions that threatened to send you into cardiac arrest. 

“How was I supposed to know THESE FUCKERS CAN REPRODUCE!? I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A NEST!” At that, Steve grew a bit more alarmed, but before he could ask, he was jerked into the bed with you, further up, thanks to the sudden speed Eddie started driving in. 

“Shit!” Steve’s arms held onto you as a few slams could be heard outside the RV, and when he looked out the window, he saw the demobats flying next to their motorhome. 

“If only YOU WEREN’T BEING AN ASSHOLE TO ME, AND ACTUALLY LISTENED, THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED!” Nancy was still yelling, and your arms were wrapped tightly around Steve as the RV suddenly swerved, turning left, and you squealed when you two started rolling to the right.

“Jesus CHRIST!” You yelled as Steve used his foot to prevent you from slamming into the wall behind you, his arms still around your body, your face tucked into his chest. The slams against the RV became less, and then, there was another swerve to the right, sending you both rolling towards the left.

“MUNSON!” Steve yelled as his back collided with the wall, making a grunt escape him. He was trying to hold you close so that your towel would also not fall from your body. The RV drove fast, steady, rocking a bit, and then he felt Eddie slowing down. He let out a sigh, looking around the ceiling, seeing some dents on the corners from the hits of the monsters, but nothing too big. 

“OKAY, I THINK WE’RE CLEAR!” You heard Eddie yell, and you let out a sigh of relief at the same time Steve did. 

“You okay, Sunshine?” Your heart never stopped beating like crazy, first from happiness, then adrenaline and fear, and now from happiness again. Steve is in your arms, and you are in his. You gulped, nodding, looking up at him.

“Y-Yeah… I– What the fuck happened?” Steve groaned as he glared at the closed blinds, before looking down at you again. He really didn’t want to let go of you, but he didn’t want you to catch a cold. He kissed your forehead, making the both of you sit up again.

“I’ll find out. Meanwhile, you get dressed.” Your eyes scanned his features, and you couldn’t help yourself when you raised your hand up, moving his hair away from his eyes, and he felt the air being sucked away from his lungs at your gesture. He took your lips with his in a gentle kiss, short, pulling away when the two of you heard grunting on the other side.

“Don’t let them kill each other…” You softly spoke, and he huffed, shaking his head. He gave you one more kiss on your cheek before standing up, and moving the folding screen so he could walk out. Nancy and Eddie shut their mouths when Steve closed the screen again, a glare in his features as he walked towards the front. 

Neither Eddie nor Nancy was looking at him. They looked guilty and nervous. From what Steve gathered, it was Eddie who started it, so his hand found his friend’s shoulder, feeling him stiffen underneath him as the grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“Munson.” Eddie gulped, clearing his throat, knowing he fucked the most amazing opportunity up for his best friend.

“I– Uh… Well, what happened was, Harrington–” But Nancy cut him off completely.

“He was being an ass, and I told him he should not touch the glowing thing in the cave–”

“A cave, Mrs. Wheeler, here, walked in first, by the way–”

“I didn’t put a gun to your head to follow me in!” She yelled back, to which Eddie glared at the road, scoffing.

“Oh, so you want me to just watch my best friend enter a dark cave, all by herself!?” He spat back, and Nancy fake laughed, shaking her head.

“So, now I’m your best friend!? That’s so fucking rich–!” 

“HEY, HEY, HEY!” Steve finally yelled, waving his hands around, trying to stop them from talking, and Nancy looked at him, while Eddie closed his mouth. “So, what the fuck happened?”

“... I– I didn’t know it was an egg…” Eddie finally confessed, and he gulped as he continued, “It was just so shiny! And it looked like a pimple! I just–”

“Don’t tell me you popped it like a pimple, or I swear to god–” Steve closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, but Eddie remained silent. Nancy was quiet for a few seconds, knowing Steve was growing angrier, and even when she didn’t want to defend Eddie… She couldn’t help herself.

“On our defense… It’s the first time we've found a nest that belonged to them…” At her words, Steve finally sighed, letting the air out. Still– His hand came flying to the back of Eddie’s head, making him headbang once, and then he pinched Nancy’s nose, making her squeal and swat him away. 

“This is what you get for being stupid. Both of you.” Steve wasn’t going to say it out loud, but he also wanted to strike them for interrupting him. He felt eyes on him, and he saw Eddie looking at him through the rear-view mirror. “What?”

Eddie started wiggling his eyebrows at him, which only made Steve blush, and cross his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes. He suddenly remembered, he was supposed to take over with Eddie, and that meant he wouldn’t be able to be with you. He felt his heart quickening its pace at the prospect of leaving your side again, but, Nancy… She would be awake for 24 hours straight if he changed his spot with hers.

“Nance, you… You should uh… Go to bed.” Steve started, trying not to wince from the pain of those words. Nancy scoffed, shaking her head.

“As if it weren’t obvious enough, we are changing places.” Eddie’s eyes widened slightly, worry flashing over them. Steve stuttered a bit, shaking his head.

“No, that’s– You need to sleep–” 

“You need to sleep.” It wasn’t an insult or a bad joke. Nancy looked at him with serious eyes, her lips pressed together, as if stern. “So, we are changing places.”

“... She is right, Steve.” Eddie commented, his eyes not leaving the road as he drove. Steve’s jaw clenched with conflict, about to try to talk Nancy out of it, but then she continued, straightening up again on her seat, looking out the window.

“Plus, it gives me private time to talk a bit with this asshole here, who is also my best friend… so…” Eddie huffed a laugh, but didn’t complain. Steve looked back and forth on them, knowing they did in fact need to talk, but Nancy’s health also mattered.

“I know more than anyone what lack of sleep can cause–”

“It’s just 24 hours, Steve… I’ll be fine.” Nancy gave her final word of it, and Steve knew it. He sighed, the RV rocking slowly now as Eddie kept his eyes on the road. He then talked, interrupting the silence between the three of them.

“Big boy, they’re in the cupboard below the sink, by the way.”

“Huh?” Steve asked, completely confused, and Eddie smirked, looking over his shoulder as Steve leaned in, the scene all too familiar.

“Condoms.” Steve blushed a deep red, smacking the back of Eddie’s head again, eliciting a pained groan from the metal head. Nancy tried to hide a giggle, putting her palm over her mouth. 

For a split second, everything was normal again.

“Steve?” Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, his heart stopping for a second before he turned around to see you peeking out from the folding screen. He could feel his body warming up again, knowing he would hold you tonight, sleep with you, just sleep with you, was enough to make him believe he was the luckiest man in the world.

He gave Nancy one last glance, and she gave Steve a nod and a soft smile. The first smile after days. He felt the corner of his lips tug, turning to finally walk back to you. He closed the door behind him, and you were already tucked in bed, sitting, waiting for him. 

Your eyes followed him when he opened a drawer from underneath the bed, taking out his sleep shirt and sweatpants. You licked your lips in anticipation, wondering if he would change in front of you or not. Should you cover your eyes? Maybe? You’ve seen him shirtless, sure–

The moment he took his shirt off, embarrassment filled every inch of your body. You hid your face in your bent knees, against the comforter. You felt your stomach doing somersaults, and you could feel a tornado inside of it as well. Privacy. You are giving him privacy.

And Steve was planning on going to change to the bathroom, but since you were hiding yourself already, which he thought was cute, there was no harm in changing here. You are so shy now. He noticed it. Your voice when calling out to him was small, doubtful. He took his pants off, his eyes never leaving your form to check if you were peeking or not, and he put his sweatpants on, followed by his shirt. 

“You can uncover your eyes, Sunshine.” He chuckled when you looked up at him, and he could see just how flushed you must be. He crawled into the bed, sitting next to you. “You already saw me in my underwear, and I saw you, remember? No need to be embarrassed…”

You whimpered at the memory, looking away from him as you felt your cheeks burn a thousand degrees. You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed, bashful, too nervous to even look at him, despite what almost happened between you two.

“Those were– very different circumstances…” Steve hummed a bit, now realizing what you meant. He had to take it a bit slow, at least until you were relaxed around him. He leaned towards you, pressing a kiss at the top of your head that made your heart jump into your throat. Your eyes found his, and after so long, after so many weeks, he finally smiled at you.

“Hi, baby.” 

Those words coming out of him made your entire body melt. Your fingertips grew itchy, with the need to touch, and your lips became dry. It was more than just the nickname. It was the smile you had been missing for so long. The smile that had disappeared from his features, was now back, and it appeared when he looked at you. 

Your eyes filled with tears, yet you gave him a soft smile as well, your nose bumping his.

“Hi, Stevie…” 

☀︎

FINALLY. HUH?

Wasn’t there some shitty early 2000’s apocalypse movie and an edible that you needed to attend to? Didn’t you long to order shitty bar food and use your vibrator for hours? Wasn’t there something, anything more important than your attendance to this party?

It’s too fancy for you, anyways.

Yeah, sure, your degree sits framed on your wall, but your soul tells you that you’re no academic, that if you wanted to go to a party, you deserve to be at a house party in your shitty neighborhood, the village that raised you, where your mother, the girl who gave you your first hit of a joint, and the teacher that taught you to read still lived, reliving the same high school gossip you’ve known for ten years. You’d be wearing ripped jeans and a too revealing top that your friend talked you into.

Instead, you’re trying to recall facts from your undergrad education that you haven’t thought about, trying to figure out how to impress these people.

Didn’t Ernaux write about the transition from being poor to being an academic? Didn’t she write about—

“You sure like this bar.”

The voice you hear makes you turn your head—You’re faced with a handsome man, red glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. There are whisps of grey in his scruff. He holds a glass of.. Something.. maybe resembling whiskey? You’re not sure.

“I’m sorry?”

And you are. Men don’t really talk to you, and in your brain, maybe this blind man—you assume he’s blind based off his glasses and his cane but you don’t dare say this assumption out loud, maybe this blind man is playing some sort of trick on you.

“You like this bar. You’ve been standing here for a half hour.”

You struggle to find anything clever to say.

So, maybe because it’s all you can think, or maybe because you think it’ll get the handsome stranger to leave you alone, you respond,

“I’m just trying to figure out if everyone at this party can tell I grew up poor or if it’s all in my head.”

And though you’re one hundred percent serious, handsome stranger laughs.

Something sparks. Deep in the confines of your soul where you’ve locked away any routes to passion or excitement, having thrown away the key when you got your mind numbing poorly paid office job.

“I’m Matt.” He holds his hand out for you to shake, and you give him your name. At least you shake his hand properly. “So, if you feel so out of place, why are you here?”

“My boss told me I had to.” You respond, your voice carrying a bored edge as you mention him. “Told me I needed to come to make the company look good, because everyone brings secretaries to this thing to show their appreciation. Like it’s a privilege to have these men talk down to me, to have them coo and aw at my lack of money or maybe my lack of intelligence and have them go,” You lean over to this man who told you his name two minutes ago, and put your hand on his thigh—“Don’t worry honey, I’ll happily sit here and explain basic government systems you learned in eighth grade while you worry about paying your rent because you had to buy a dress for this stupid party and you only make enough money to choose between the dress and your rent,” You explain, your thumb rubbing his thigh for a little extra emphasis on your point.

Matt blushes.

That spark grows.

“Sounds like a nightmare.” He hums.

You withdraw your hand to take a sip of your drink.

“Just exhausting.” You sigh, neglecting to mention that you’re further unable to pay your rent because you had to take off your second job to be here. The job you’ve had since high school. The job you swore to quit one day. “Anyways. I’ve probably annoyed you, Sorry.”

“No, no, I appreciate the honesty. I grew up poor too,” He answers, “And now I feel like part of the problem.” He shrugs.

You look to him. In his finely pressed suit, his expensive scent.

“Prove it.”

His face twists into something of amused confusion.

“Prove it?”

“Yeah. Tell me something only someone who grew up poor would understand.” You request, daring him. He knows this is serious to you, that if he’s lying to you, whatever he hopes to get out of this is not going to happen. So, he sips his drink and goes to the dark corner of his mind to when his dad was alive.

“Well, besides the fact that I grew up in an orphanage,” He starts, and you feel like an asshole, “When my dad was alive, I used to have to do my homework in the laundry mat, moving over our clothes, while he was at work. Then I’d wheel the load home in this laundry basket on wheels.” He told you. You smile, comforted—You can see through the graying hair and fine pressed suit. At his core, he is just like you.

At that shitty house party you don’t go to, he’s smoking a cigarette in a tee shirt and cargo shorts, and you’re just as attracted to him there.

“Alright, I trust you.” You promise. You take another sip of your champagne, looking around the room. The party is starting to dwindle down and bosses are taking their secretaries to dark corners. Your back hurts.

“Good.” He takes a sip of his drink and stands up, leaving the now empty glass on the bar counter. “How much?”

“How much what?”

Matt grins and holds a room key card to one of the many rooms in the hotel above this stupid fucking party.

“How much do you trust me, sweetheart?”

-

His room is on the 8th floor, and it’s.. bigger than any hotel room you’ve ever stayed in. It’s clean, the lights are warm, and you’re pretty sure you could sink right through the bed. You step into the room and find yourself taking off your heels, with no real idea if you were allowed to stay the night.

“Nice place,” You admire, and you predict his words before he says it,

“Thanks. Smells pretty fancy, I guess.” He shrugs. He listens to as you jump onto the bed, stretching out. Matt slips out of his shoes, and he lays next to you, groaning a bit as he lays down.

“Can I ask you something?” You wonder, just admiring his face. Your hand comes up to touch his cheek.

“Anything.” He hums, turning his head to kiss your palm.

“How old are you?” You wonder.

“Forty-two.” He responds, and he goes to say something else, but you lean in to kiss him. But just before he can gratify you, before you can learn the taste of his lips, his hand, quick as lightning, comes up and grabs your jaw, holding you in place, “Really, sweetheart? The fact that I’m forty-two turns you on?” he asks.

You can’t help but defend yourself—

“Well, just kissing you doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m turned on or anything—”

“So if I snuck my hand up this pretty dress of yours, you’d be what? Not soaking wet?”

You just look at him for a long time.

“Okay, what do I have to do to get you to kiss me, instead of just talking to you?”

“Why? I like the sound of your voice,” He smirks, and you roll your eyes. You feel defensive, like he’s making fun of you. Like he knows how badly you want him, and he’s withholding it from you on purpose, just to see you squirm. As your mind starts to spiral, you pull away from him, the lustful heat in your cheeks being replaced by hot, bubbling rage.

“You know what, I don’t need this shit—” You move to get off the bed, trying to find your heels when Matt grabs your wrist—with gentleness he’d use to care for a skittish animal—and pulls you back towards the bed, trying not to laugh when you stumble over your feet, now standing between his legs.

“Stop.” His voice is gentle, but firm. He hears the way you inhale, the way you try to mask your anger. It turns him on. “You really want to kiss me?”

You hesitate to respond—you want to kiss him so fucking badly. You can’t remember the last time you wanted anything other than wanting to pay your rent or wanting a new chair at work.

“Yeah.” You finally breathe. “I want to kiss you so badly.”

“Yeah?” He smiles. “Well, if I ask you a question, are you gonna try to leave again?”

You clench your teeth.

“You just asked me a question and I’m still standing here, aren’t I?” You see him smile.

“Okay, when was the last time you kissed someone?”

“..A while ago.”

“How long ago since someone’s made you cum?”

Your silence is deafening—it’s revealing. Matt starts to chuckle.

“Oh, fuck this—” You turn to leave but Matt pulls you in, and then his hand is on the back of your thigh, pulling you close.

“C’mon, sit on my lap,” He starts, and hesitantly, and admittedly clumsily, you sit on his lap, your legs resting on either side of him, while his hands hold your sides, as if they were made for him to hold. “So, no one’s ever made you cum before?”

“No one except my vibrator.” You say, and Matt just shakes his head.

“I’m a lawyer.” He starts, and you groan, your head tilts back,

“Jesus Fucking—”

Matt’s hand squeezes your side.

“Don’t use the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart—”

“Is this some sort of joke? Am I being—”

Matt comes forward to kiss you, his lips silencing your thoughts. He tastes like whiskey and vanilla, and it eggs you on. You deepen the kiss, any anger or frustration slowly melting. And when he pulls away, his teeth catch your bottom lip and he tugs just enough to drive you crazy.

“Are you going to listen now, sweetheart?” he asks, and all you can do is stare at his pretty pink lips.

“Sure.”

“Good.” He clears his throat. “I’m a lawyer,” he says, “So part of my job is to help deliver justice. And it is..” He laughs a little like his plans to fucking ruin you are funny, “a fucking injustice that no one has ever made you cum. That all you know is some battery-operated thing instead of my fingers or my cock,” He sighs, “So how ‘bout we deliver some well-deserved justice, sweetheart? How’s that sound?”

It sounds like you could die. What is happening? Weren’t you just complaining about how badly you wanted to get away from this whole scene? Why do you want him so bad?

“..Sounds like you have all the power in this situation.”

Matt grins like he knows it.

“Does sound like that, huh? Here, I’ll tell you a secret,” He leans in, his lips grazing your ear, “You have the power here. You say the word, and I’ll stop. I’ll stop, and you can stay here for the night, or you can leave, I’ll pay for your cab, or..” His hands begin to gently rub up and down your sides.

You smile. He’s trying to make you feel better, and it’s working.

“Or..?” You prompt.

“Or.. I could teach you how good it feels to cum from something with a pulse. And not something.. battery operated,” and the way he says it, you know he’s repulsed by the idea that your vibrator is the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

And it makes you smile wider.

“My vibrator is very good to me, I’ll have you know.”

“Oh,” He chuckles, “Not nearly as good as I’ll be to you.” He promises.

It’s a big promise.

You just look at him for a long minute, trying to decide. As if there’s even a choice to make. You’d let him break your heart if he asked nicely.

“Can I take off your glasses?” You ask softly, and Matthew nods, and you find yourself taking them off and just holding them for a moment. You stare for a long time, to the point where you start to nibble on the ends of his glasses, and he smiles. He likes how authentic you are. How unable to hide yourself from him you are.

“So, what do you say?”

“Hm..” He suspects you’re fucking with him. “Well, I’d have to—”

“Yes or no?”

“I thought I had all the power here.”

“You do. But I’m running out of patience here, and,” He brings your hand down to his pants so you can feel his bulge, “I am way too hard to wait for much longer.” He confesses. He thinks he might die if he can’t feel you clench around him, so he quietly, desperately hopes you’ll say yes.

“Okay,” You smile, “Alright, let’s do it.”

“Not very enthusiastic—” You inhale, and he knows you’re close to leaving, so he tries to entice you, “C’mon, just.. humor me, sweetheart. I’ll make it worth your while, I promise.”

“Making a whole lot of promises, Mr..?”

“Murdock.”

“Matthew Murdock,” You hum, “Okay, Mr. Murdock. I want you to fuck me, just like you’ve promised. Make me forget all about my vibrator.”

And before the words finish leaving your mouth, his mouth is against yours, swallowing any insecurity you had earlier. His fingers begin to slowly move up and down your sides, and you already know that whatever is about to happen will ruin your vibrator for you forever.

You could see yourself becoming addicted to this feeling, to him, to the feeling of being wanted.. You could feel yourself already slipping down that rabbit hole.

As you kiss him, he lets out this soft moan into the kiss, and in response, your hands come up to play with his hair. You start to roll your hips a bit, as if you want to tease him. Matt’s hands squeeze your sides, and he pulls away from the kiss just for a second.

“Safe word?” He wonders, and you scoff.

“No one’s ever made me cum, you think I have a—Woah!” You cut yourself off, because Matt suddenly flips you over so you’re beneath him against these too expensive sheets.

“So, if things go too far, you’re uh.. you’re gonna say Lava, okay?” He wonders out loud.

“Yeah, Okay,” You nod, “Lava, got it,” and then he’s kissing you again, and his hands are slipping off his jacket, and then he starts to loosen his tie as he kisses you, but then he gives up on that to put his hands on your thighs and then beginning to travel up. You shiver as his hands travel up your dress,

“Pretty fucking dress..” He mumbles, between kissing you silly, “Pretty girl, too..” He mumbles, “Gonna need to rip this dress off you—”

You fully pull away from the kiss to say,

“Rip this fucking dress and I’ll leave so fast,” And Matt knows you’re not joking, but he smiles and says,

“How about I buy you a new one?” He asks, “Or two or three—”

“Oh, my god, just leave the dress intact,” You request, and Matt’s smirk begins to grow.

“Then how about I just fuck you in the dress, huh?” he wonders, “How would you like that, sweetheart?” You nod, letting out a soft ‘mhm’, but Matt shakes his head, “No, no, I gotta hear you say it, baby. Tell me how badly you want me to fuck you in this dress. Maybe I will.”

You stare at him for a long moment, wondering where your dignity went.

“Matthew,” You start, “If you don’t fuck me in this dress, I think I’m gonna go crazy. I can’t.. I can’t remember the last time I wanted anything this badly,” You confess, and the words start tumbling out before you can stop them, “I can’t remember the last time anyone made me feel pretty like you have, and I can’t ever use my vibrator again because I already know how much better you’re going to be, and holy fuck¸ yes, it turns me on that you’re forty two and—”

Matt kisses you again, this time only for a short time, because he pulls away after a moment to tell you—

“I think we should work on your dirty talk, but, good. Was it so hard to just do what I asked?”

“..no.”

“Yeah, I thought so.” He says softly, and then his lips are against yours again, while his hands explore, and when his fingers brush over your panties, you moan against his lips, barely registering it as he slips your panties off and stuffs them in his back pocket, because his fingers are caressing your folds, slipping inside you as you moan and writhe beneath him.

“Holy fuck,” You whine, “Matt—”

“Sh, sh, sh..” His lips press a kiss to your forehead, “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make sure the first time someone else makes you cum is on my cock.” He tells you, and he chuckles when he feels your folds flutter around him at that. “I’m gonna fuck you in this dress now, okay?” He wonders, and you nod,

“Yes, please.”

“Aw, pretty girl does have manners under all that brattiness, huh?” He smirks, and before you can retaliate, he kisses you.

When he slowly eases your cock into you, you moan against his lips, and you try to really just feel it. You try to really remember how full you feel, the feeling of Matt’s breathless pants against your lips and skin, the feeling of being wanted by him.. and you know you can’t quit him.

His thrusts begin slowly, and that becomes a feeling you want to remember too. He thrusts into you while burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Wait, hold on, Matt,” but when his thrusts don’t stop, you say, “Okay, Lava,” You offer, and Matt’s thrusts stop, and he very hesitantly pulls his head out of the crook of your neck,

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“I just..” Your hands come up to rest on either side of his head, and you just stare at him for a moment, “I just want to memorize your pretty face so I can live in this moment forever.”

Matthew blushes.

You know you’ve won.

You’re not sure what you’ve won, but you definitely feel like you’ve won whatever it is.

Matt presses his forehead against yours and while you stare into his pretty brown eyes, he whispers,

“You’re gonna be the death of me, sweetheart.” Then, after a moment, he asks, “Can I keep going now?”

“Yes, please.” Matt smiles and kisses you again as he begins to thrust into you, and you realize how dirty this entire situation is—an older man, still mostly dressed, fucking you in your expensive (rent stealing) dress just after meeting him, and it makes you want him more. Your hands move to play with his hair as his thrusts increase, one hand gripping the bottom of your chin and the top of your neck, the other sneaking up your thigh to rub circles in your clit.

You’ve never felt closer to God.

This is so much better than your vibrator.

Matt can feel you clench around him, and it makes him chuckle, so, in the most condescending tone he can muster when you are being so good for him, he asks,

“Wanna cum, sweetheart?” He wonders, and when you just whine in response, he continues, “C’mon, use your manners, I know you know how to respond properly,” He reminds, and if you didn’t want him to cum inside you so badly, you’d tell him off.. maybe.

“Please,” You manage out, “Yes, I wanna cum,” and Matt begins to kiss your cheeks, your jaw, and your neck, and only after leaving quite the bite mark on your collarbone, does Matthew say,

“Alright, pretty girl, let me feel you cum on my cock,” He says, and you do, and the way you clench around him makes him moan against your skin, his speed increasing, “Fuck.. Fuck, kid, I gotta..” He sighs.

“Inside,” You beg quietly, “I’m on birth control and—”

“Are you.. sure?” He asks, but his voice is shaky from how badly he wants the answer to be yes.

“Yes, please, please—” And before the third please can leave your mouth, he lets out the prettiest moan against your lips, cumming deep within you, filling you in ways you never thought possible. His hips roll a few more times, just to help you through your high (and just a little bit because he can’t think of anything clever to say that isn’t ‘Will you be mine forever so I can keep fucking you like this?’) but after a few moments, he whispers,

“So.. what did you think?”

You feel amazing. You could die happy. You can barely think, so you respond,

“I think I’m gonna throw out my vibrator.” And it makes him laugh, and you think he’s even prettier when he laughs than when he cums, so you kiss him. And in between kisses, you say, “We made a fucking mess,”

And he finally pulls away with a sigh.

“Well..” A smile tugs at his lips, “Wanna.. check out the shower, sweetheart?” He wonders.

“Do I have much of a choice, Mr. Murdock?” You smile.

“Nope,” And before you can say much else, Matt is grabbing you and swinging him over his shoulder to carry you to the most expensive bathroom you’ve ever stepped foot in.

-

In the morning, you wake up to the smell of coffee, and the sound of the shower running again. You slowly blink away your sleep, rubbing your eyes. You have a bit of headache, the consequence of a long night of drinking.. and bad decisions.

You blink, and anxiety begins to well in your chest. Your heart beats out of your chest quickly, and you kind of feel like you can’t breathe. What did you do last night? Well you know what you did, you weren’t that drunk, but if Matt was at that party last night he must’ve been important or—

Your eyes drift over to the side table, and you see a delicious smelling coffee next to an envelope, an envelope that is sloppily marked with your initial, the sign of a blind man attempting to write. You find your bra and then find yourself unable to find your underwear—whatever, you’ll deal with it later, you decide, so you begin looking in drawers and find a pair of Matthew’s boxers. You pull them on, and then take a long sip of the coffee that’s been ordered for you.

Then, you pick up the envelope, and halfway through the sip you stop. It’s an envelope full of cash, it would cover your rent and then some..

So naturally, you put down your coffee and then begin to bang on the bathroom door, hitting it over and over again,

“Matthew! Hey, we need to talk!” You demand, and you hear some shuffling as the shower turns off, and the door opens, and you see Matthew with his hair, and scruff, damp, and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

And you have to admit, in the middle of your anger, he is so hot.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” He smiles, handsome devil. “Everything—”

“What the fuck is this?” You ask, smacking the envelope against his chest, “I’m not a fucking hooker,” and your voice matches how badly you want to smack him.

“I know,” he starts,

“Well, only hookers get left an envelope of cash after they fuck some stranger,” You snap, “And I’m not a fucking hooker.”

“Are you wearing my boxers?” You see him smile.

“Do you think I’m a fucking hooker?”

“Boy, you sure like saying fuck and hooker.”

“I’m being serious,” You remind, “I’m not a hooker. I don’t need your money.”

Matt, although he won’t tell you this, doesn’t need his super senses to know that last part is a lie.

“Can I talk without you accusing me of thinking you’re a hooker? Because I don’t think you’re a hooker, I know you’re a very distinguished young woman, and—”

“Alright, I’m not president, I’m a secretary, relax,” You scoff, and start to move around the hotel room, trying to find your shoes, dress, accessories.

Quietly, it turns him on that you’re so difficult.

“Can you just—” he sighs, finding his own boxers and pants, and then starting to put his button up back on, but it hangs on him without being buttoned up as he sits down. “Can you please sit, so we can talk about this?” He wonders.

You’re still holding the envelope.

“Fine.” You grumble, walking over to the bed and sitting next to him. He’s really hot, so you just admire him, and wait for him to talk.

“I know you’re not a hooker.” He starts, “But I am a lawyer, like I told you last night. And.. I make more than enough money for me,” and You want to tell him he doesn’t need to brag about it, “And.. I’m not really looking for a serious relationship right now, but.. I really like you.”

Your face flushes.

“You do?”

He smiles gently.

“I really do. So, here’s the deal, sweetheart—And you can’t get mad at me just for offering, okay?”

“Okay.” You concede.

“Let’s keep seeing each other.” He starts, “Nothing committal, we’ll just hangout, sleep together, I’ll get to hear your pretty noises.. and I’ll pay your rent, and.. and buy you things.” He shrugs.

You blink.

“You want to be my sugar daddy?”

Now it’s Matt’s turn to blush.

“That makes it sound so.. dirty,” he starts, “Which it is.. But you never.. have to do anything, I just.. want to hangout with you. Fucking you will just.. be a nice benefit. A really.. really nice benefit.” He breathes. “So, what do you say, sweetheart?”

You consider it for a long moment, thinking. You’d be able to quit your shitty second job, the one you’ve had since high school, the one you swore you were going to quit. And last night was amazing. You really do want to throw out your vibrator, but maybe you could convince him to show you some of his favorite toys.

He’d tell you that you are his favorite toy, and then you’d have to fuck him like it was the last thing you’d ever do.

“I’d like that.” You smile, “But on one condition.” You say, and he nods.

“Anything.” He smiles.

“You can’t fall in love with me.” You say, “And I can’t fall in love with you either. We can be friends, and we can fuck, but no being ‘in love’ with your sugar baby.” You request, and he nods.

“Deal.” He holds out his hand to you, “Shake on it?”

Your fingers wrap around his hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

“Deal.” You echo. “We won’t fall in love with each other.”

It didn’t take long for the sweet peck to escalate into a full-blown make out session, the both of you swiftly riling each other up so much that your feet began to shuffle, shifting you back till your spine collided against the far-off wall. Plucking you up into his arms, Matt smiled against your kiss as your soft thighs enveloped his hips and your core pressed up against his growing hardness.

But then, just before his greedy fingers had the chance to peel off your shirt, just before it could explode into something much more, a knock suddenly tapped against the front door of your apartment.

“Oh, no, no,” Matt promptly whined as you broke the kiss, “tell them to walk around the block or something,” he murmured desperately against your cheek as he already knew precisely who was waiting out in the hallway, “just five more minutes, that’s all I need.”

“Five minutes, yeah right,” you giggled as he tried to capture your lips once again, “put me down, Matty,” you uttered before he begrudgingly obeyed, still hard as a rock in his pants as you simply skipped towards the door to open it, “hi, guys!” you played off your remaining laughter as mere joy to see your friends faces, “thanks for this, really.”

“Hey, I was in since the moment you said free pizza,” Foggy admitted, raising up both of his palms.

“Just as long as it’s not one with mushrooms on it,” Karen cocked her head as she crossed the threshold.

Though moving all of your belongings quite literally just across the hall seemed like a small task, you quickly grew thankful for the extra hands that had gracefully agreed to help out. However, as you all began to shift the items from one apartment to the other, a specific hitch in your plan became so apparent that it was suddenly all you could fixate on.

It wasn’t often that you caught your wonderful partner on a day where he wasn’t either clad to go to court or clad to hit the streets, but seeing him today, in a t-shirt that clung onto his bulky frame as if it was about to burst at the seams, distracted you more than you cared to admit.

And the fact that the man was also marching around and carrying all of the boxes that you couldn’t even push an inch across the floor, only made matters worse as you nearly started drooling as his muscles flexed and bulged, completely on display.

The guy also didn’t have to revel so obviously in the fact either, but being the man that Matthew was, as soon as his sharp senses effortlessly picked up on the evident clues, a cocky grin stayed plastered on his features till he soon caught your waist, as you tried to pass by, and snuck you around a tall mountain of boxes to sneak a kiss so teasing that it only fanned the flames even further.

But after he had given the first poke, the teasing swiftly became a two-way street as you both seized every opportunity to slyly steal kisses and sizzling touches whenever the two of you were alone, or even just partly obscured, for longer than a few seconds.

Although, as soon as your friends left and the door to the apartment slammed shut behind them, you and Matthew rushed to each other like moths to a flame.

Pent up from the torture, you crashed against one another, your lips once again locked at an instant before Matt uttered, “fucking finally!” his feet shuffled, shifted you with him, further into the now cluttered abode, “I can’t tell you how hard it was to not just christen the apartment while they were still here,” a breath filled your lungs as flashes of his desperation flickered in your imagination, bending you over a stack of boxes, only to pause and cover back up each time one of your friends entered the room.

“But we’ve already had sex in here more times than I can remember,” you furrowed your brows as he backed you up and into the kitchen.

“Yeah, but that was when it was just my place,” he murmured, making you grin even wider, “I wanna fuck my girl in our home…” his palms swept lower down your form before he plucked you up onto the countertop next to the sink.

Slotting himself in between your thighs, he smiled against your lips as one of his hands floated up to tilt your jaw into the kiss that he pressed against your mouth.  

The whole dance that had stretched throughout the entire moving process had riled the both of you up so much that foreplay now would only draw out the torment as the pair of you each felt as if you were about to explode.

His lips migrated down the column of your neck as he swiftly stuffed a hand down your pants, his fingers slipping under the waistband of your panties to wet his fingers on your slickness. As he found your buzzing clit in a dizzying rub, the grip you had on his broad shoulders floated up and tangled in his short hair, your nails gently scratching along his scalp.

With one hand nestled between your thighs, swirling your puffy pearl and giving it the attention it deserved, his other palm drifted up along the outline of your frame till his touch found your jaw. Your cheek was aflame beneath his hand as his thumb soon stretched out to trace your soft lips, although when he briefly dipped it just shyly inside of your mouth, you caught him off guard when your mind melted and your lips wrapped around his digit, your gentle tongue swiftly fluttering against his skin and making him groan. Soon, two others took the thumb’s place, keeping your sweet mouth occupied as your legs began to tremble on either side of his hips.

Now, the man didn’t need to pet you for long before you unravelled for him, moaning around his fingers before your head tilted back, unplugging your mouth as your hips rocked back against his touch.

As you were panting with your hazy haze directed at the tall ceiling, you felt Matt’s hand dissipate as he stumbled back, dragging slow steps across the kitchen till he bumped against the counters on the opposite side and swiftly leaned back against them.

Though just as you felt the intoxicating high cause your eyelids to grow heavy, you blinked down just in time to catch as Matthew’s palm cupped the hardness that tented his pants, before he swiftly seized the zipper to free himself.

The slow stroke he then granted his throbbing length caused a pout to find your lips before your own touch began to travel down your frame, acting of its own accord to give yourself some relief.  

Though as you stared, and your hand snuck its way down to mimic the manner he had just touched you moments before, you soon couldn’t help but whine, “Matty,” your eyes traced his tight fist as it leisurely twisted up and down his cock.

“What?” he chuckled, knowing full well how you wanted him to get back within your reach, though only smirked at the way you whimpered.

“Don’t play that game,” you panted, “do you really wanna get off all the way over there, all lonely?”

“Oh, honey, I thought you liked to watch.”

“That’s so not the point,” a shiver ran down your spine as a smile twinkled on your features.

“So, what is your point then?” he slowly pushed away from the counter, though didn’t near you yet.

“Are you seriously gonna make me beg?” you giggled as the spark of satisfaction his slight shift granted you made you dizzily kick off both your pants as well as your soaked panties beneath.

“Yeah,” he exhaled as he tugged open the junk drawer directly next to his hip, “I think I am,” he cockily uttered before his fingers conjured a condom from the catch all compartment.

A long sigh flowed through your smile before you then huffed, “please.”

“Please, what?” his feet slowly began to carry him towards you.

“Please fuck me, Matty,” your chest rose and fell rapidly as he got near, your eyes dipping to his dick as he swiftly rolled on the rubber.

Catching your legs, he yanked you even closer to the edge, scooting you near to wrap your thighs around his frame, “tell me again.”

And as you felt him nudge his hardness against your weepy core, briefly parting your petals with his girth, you whimpered, “please fuck m–,” before a gasp suddenly flowed form your lungs as he gave you exactly what you wanted. Burying himself inside your warmth, his hips then locked up as a sigh slipped from him and fanned across your heated cheeks, his nose ghosting against the tip of your own as you both revelled in the sensation. And as your cunt clenched around his girth, his heavy sack nestled up against your slick skin, a hazy smile found you both.

Though just as a faint giggle bubbled in your throat, Matt parted his lips once more and said, “again,” as he then slowly dragged his cock back out of you, making your eyes roll in your skull.

“F-fuck me, p-please,” you repeated as your eyes flickered down to catch sight of how your cream stained his fat girth, the slickness echoing throughout the apartment as his length then filled you up once again.

“Like that?” he offered you another thrust, slow and deep, “is this how this little pussy wants to be pounded?” his hand floated up to cup the side of your face, “could that make you cum again for me?”

“Y-yes!” you nodded as his electric rhythm caused you to gasp.

“Well,” his fingers drifted up to tangle in the edges of your hairline, “then keep begging me all pretty and I’ll do just that,” he uttered before capturing your lips in a fevered kiss.

Foggy echoes flowed from your lips as he then began to fuck you. Scorching lips dancing down the column of your neck, his grasp swiftly ripped off your shirt to clear the path for his kisses to wander down towards your chest.

And as he buried his face in your tits, littering the soft peaks in hickeys, your own touch clawed at his broad shoulders as you held on for dear life, nearly ripping holes in the fabric of his t-shirt as your fists clenched the cotton tightly.

But by the time that you felt the end grow near once again, the begging fell short on your lips and ended up costing you your orgasm as Matthew then boldly took a step back and let his cock slip out of your pussy completely.

“Wa-wait!” you swiftly grasped after him as your cunt fluttered, twitching around nothing as you promptly backed away from that intoxicating edge.

“What? I’m just holding up my part of the deal, baby,” he tried to keep a straight face, “if you wanna try again, I’ll be in the bedroom,” he uttered playfully before slipping out of your reach.

“Matt!” a short giggle bubbled through your gasp as you jumped off the counter and landed on your wobbly legs, “that’s not fair,” you tried to catch up to him, though when you did, your jelly-like legs stumbled and you ended up taking him down with you just as his hand wrapped around your waist. Tumbling to the floor, you swiftly seized the opportunity and swung a leg over his frame before he had the chance to slip away once more, “do you have any idea how close I was?”

“Is that really a question?” he smirked as you rolled on top of him.

“So you were an asshole on purpose, good to know,” you then reached down to grasp his cock, “then I guess you won’t mind if I repay the favour,” you slowly sank back down upon his length, your thighs trembling slightly on either side of his hips at the delectable stretch, “see how you do if you have to keep begging for it…”

“Oh, that’s cute,” he chuckled teasingly, his eyes briefly fluttering as he once again felt your velvety walls cling around him, “but we both know you’re way too nice to not let me cum.”

Letting out a gasp even though you knew he was right, as you did admittedly love to make him feel good, you still argued, “I-I could do it.”

Propping himself up to a sitting position, his face was suddenly much closer to your own as he cocked his head, “oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” your cunt couldn’t help but clamper down around his cock as you then watched him peel his tight shirt over his head and toss it off to the side.

Inching in a bit closer, he uttered, “then fucking do it,” before you then shoved him back to lay flat on the floor beneath you, the grin only brightening on his face as he let you plant your palms on his broad chest for support before you mustered up the strength to move.

Though a bit shaky at first, slowly raising up your hips before lowing yourself back down upon his fat cock, you soon found a rhythm that made your toes curl.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” his grip dented your thighs as they flexed with each molten rock of your hips, “bounce that ass for me,” he groaned beneath you, “ride me, just like that.”

Gliding your palms down to where his own was glued to your skin, you caught both of his before he weaved his fingers in with your own, letting you hold his hands as you chased your high, rolling your hips till you felt yourself catch back up to where you’d been.

And as you then finally came once more, the edging Matt had tormented you with turned out to only amplify the release as you then gushed around his girth, your cunt fluttering around him so fiercely that it forced his dick out completely, letting your pussy soak his pants, that still remained half on his body. Quivering above him, your fingers soared down to replace his girth, prolonging the high as you feverishly rubbed your puffy clit as well as hooked your digits inside of you till your juices no longer drenched your possessed efforts.  

“Oh my god, yes, that’s my girl,” you heard him grunt as he nearly reached out to give you a hand, though only helped keep you upright as you spasmed atop of him.

You were completely boneless, barely registering as he then rolled you over to lay on the ground, it wasn’t till you blinked up at him to discover him hovering above you that you noticed that it hadn’t just been your dizziness that had turned the world upside down.

Dropping down to support his weight on his burly forearms, he now only had to tilt his chin for his lips to crash against your own.

“God, I love you,” his low timbre washed over your still tingling senses as he eventually withdrew from the breathless kiss.

Feeling something change in the air, you knew with but a look upon his features that the little game had been dropped, forgotten the very moment that he slid his cock back inside your haven.

“I love you,” your legs curled up to tangled around his hips as he slowly eased himself even deeper, “I love you so fucking much…” you murmured hazily before you then kissed him once again, your whimpers soon vibrating against his tongue.

Staring up at him through hooded eyes, your mouth hung agape as he began to buck into you, taking your breath away at each slow and deep stroke he offered you, plugging you up so perfectly that your pussy soon began to sing for him once again in sinfully sloshing sounds each time his girth would nudge against your g-spot.

Though usually concealed beneath his clothing, the cross necklace that he always wore now dangled from his neck, swaying like a pendulum as it kissed your cheek, caressing your skin at each zealous thrust, his heavy balls smacking against your leaky mess each and every time.

And when you eventually came one last time, once again squirting, though this time around his girth as he kept up his efforts for just a few more snaps of his hips before he as well fell apart, holding you close as you both panted through your matching smiles.