Welcome to the Jungle

DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN MY FAVES 😭😭😭

I like to think that Doctor Who from the Master's perspective could be called 'One Man's Quest To Get His Spouse To Come Back Home And Abandon His Massive Ant Colony'. Everything is so much funnier if you picture the Master being absolutely baffled at the Doctor defending Earth, because he's borderline immortal whilst humans die so quickly - killing a human is like stepping on a spider, and the Doctor is the guy who swoops in with a cup and paper to move the spider outside even if the decision seems nonsensical. I like to reframe the Master's attempts to take over the universe as him desperately asking the Doctor "we could get a dog? Or a cat? Or adopt? Are the ants really worth it, you have no other hobbies".

imagine: you get your memories back after years of amnesia to find out your whole species is dead and earth doesn’t exist anymore. that the only thing left of your culture is your weird ex and his busted honda civic that barely even works that he stole from the government when he was 13. And he’s been taking members of an alien species for trips in his honda civic and they’re all like “woah it’s so cool” and you get upset because it’s NOT COOL it’s a honda civic, the turn signals don’t even work “wow it can go up hills” yeah OF COURSE IT CAN GO UP HILLS EVERY CAR COULD DO THAT. but they’ve never seen a car before so everything it does is the coolest thing ever. And your ex’s only tool is a fucking screwdriver which is somehow also cool to this dumbass alien species even though it’s a fucking screwdriver so you just look like an idiot screaming about how none of this is even cool it’s actually really shitty but your whole planet is gone so you can’t even prove it but also you’ve had a constant drumming sounding in your head since you were 10 slowly driving you insane. I would become evil too.