lesbian writings

"only 90s kids remember-" wrong, if you're poor and/or rural enough, old tech and fashion doesn't just disappear when it stops being trendy. We had dial-up until 2012

endlessly funny that some pets will just decide they are service animals now without any training or feedback from humans. babygirl no one hired you. you do not have a license for this

I’m not talking about humans pretending their untrained pets are service animals so they can bring them places they shouldn’t be allowed. I’m talking about my dog, who took one look at the two people with severe ADHD time-blindness and executive dysfunction who adopted him and was like, “Great. I am your Watch Dog now, as in, dog who functions like a watch. That is, if your watch was a seven-pound furby that could run this house like the goddamn navy. I will catapult myself onto your chest and nip at your hands when you fail to get up and Do Things in response to my incessant whining that it is Time For You To Eat Lunch/Get Out Of Bed/Go Exercise/Take Your Meds/Etc Now Now Right Now. This is a service I provide for to Helping You. No, you cannot opt out of the Helping You. Do not attempt to resist the Helping You.”

probably gonna do something normal like swap bodies with the girl i hate but then fall in love with her again when im her and then hate myself for taking her away from the people she loves who need her and hate myself that i couldn't be one of the people she loves because i need her and ive always needed her and in a way she needed me but i fucked it up. then ill surrender so i can begin to live up to the name we share so i can be worthy. or like do my laundry tbh

when you go to a doctors office their favorite thing to do is tell you "okay check out at the front desk" when you're done. and the front desk tells you ummm you can just go! and you're like don't I have a copay? and they're like we don't know, we have to ask your insurance company first. and you're like well my insurance card says the copay is $30, can I just pay it right now while I'm standing in front of you? there's a card reader right there on the desk. and they're like nooo we have to send a representative on horseback during the next waning moon to meet with their claims adjusting associate director of benefits management and client services in the secret glade to negotiate. and you're like oh okay and go home. and you get twelve emails asking you to take a survey about your experience

AND THEN in eight months you start getting phone calls from unknown numbers and when you finally check your voicemail they're like Your Balance Is Past Due We're Going To Kill You (even though by this point you have forgotten that you ever went to the doctor). and so you go to your MyChart account and log in with your username and password and you have to reset your password for security reasons. and you get two emails that say Your Password Has Been Reset. Was This You? and you have to go find your phone and enter your two factor authentication code and then you have to select which location you visited and then you have to click through all the Reminder: Complete Your Health History Profile where they ask if you've had any new surgeries even though you definitely told the nurse about this at your visit and then you have to find the Pay Bills tab and your balance is $179.23 and you're like why is it so expensive I thought the copay was $30? and you download a PDF of the charges and find out that they charged a late fee of $15 a month even though that doesn't add up to $179.23 and you don't even remember being told you had any balance at any point and you could call a representative and ask about it but that would probably take at least half an hour and there's no way it would actually get rid of the charges. so you go pay it anyway and you have to go find a paper check to look up your bank account routing number because they'll charge you an extra 3% if you pay with a credit card and there's a fee of $2.75 for convenience also. and then you get three emails that say We've Received Your Payment! Thank You For Your Payment!

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday