texting my coworker “hey! how are you feeling” and reading it 40 times to make sure i didn’t accidentally type how are you sex cum penis ass cum porn 1080p hot cock

my dad is the funniest person in the world to make small talk with. we passed a taco bell and he was like “what’s your favorite thing to get there” and i said “the crunchwrap supreme” and he said “tell me about it” and i described it to him and he said “that sounds delicious. what’s your second favorite thing at taco bell”

olive oil i love you

the way she posts it takes my breath away

I love jaywalking with strangers. They can’t kill all of us!!!

I don’t care when my tumblr posts flop. My clout awaits me in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do