Lemon Optimizer

Houseki no Kuni encylcopedia - Gems Translation below

Houseki no Kuni encylcopedia - Gems Translation below

Sure I’ll sum up.

So there was a very good peaceful protest by.... Lafayette Park? Right outside the White House. They were chanting, they had multiple reporters in the crowd, it was fucking CHILL, people were waiting for Trump to do a speech in the Rose Garden.

Then, out of nowhere, truly NOWHERE, the cops closed in from three directions and threw gas into the crowd. They used rubber bullets on the crowd IMMEDIATELY. One dude told the reporter “They don’t care about news, move.” They drove out the totally fucking peaceful, pre-curfew protestors.

They moved them all out, and Trump started speaking, and you could hear the fucking gas going off over his speech. CNN fucking did a splitscreen to show the peopple being shoved back as the motherfucker stood up there and said he would protect our rights and would mobilize the military against people.

Then back to the reporters, and everyone was forced further and further away. One woman on a bike told the reporter “They are getting the water cannons ready, you wanna move.”

TURNS OUT.

ALL OF THIS.

WAS BECAUSE TRUMP WANTED A PHOTO OP AT THE CHURCH ACROSS THE STREET. HE WANTED THEM OUT OF THE WAY SO HE COULD STAND WITH A BIBLE IN FRONT OF A CHURCH.

Even CNN is calling him a dictator, at 7PM.

Then the Illinois governor came out and called him a racist, xenophobic, misogynistic failure.

So he unplugged the bathtub which was apparently the worst idea he could possibly have because this happened

So he panicked and started asking people on the internet what he should do. Which was also a bad idea.

First suggestion: flush the toilet

This caused a smelly overflow that flooded the whole bathroom.

Second suggestion: vaccum the beads

His vaccum caught fire.

At this point it had actually spread to the neighborhood and people came to ask question but he denied knowing anything about it. He then discovered that it's invaded the whole sewer system.

And yet, he continued to take suggestion from the internet.

Third suggestion: put salt in

It actually worked. Well, until.

Poop apprently started flooding his house.

And then the streets.

It all happened yesterday so we're still waiting on an update on the situation but I hadn't laugh like this in a while.

You should go and watch the whole story (it's in 4 parts)

It's in french, but you get it even if you don't speak it and his screams of panic are hilarious

Word of warning: don't fill your bathtub with waterbeads. Just don't.