you look lonely… i can fix that

He would wake up in the middle of the night at times to you picking at your fingers. Eyes lidded and still half asleep, he’d move his hand that was sprawled across your stomach to on top of your hands. Billy would only close his eyes again once you started to play with his fingers. 

During rainy days, the two of you would end up on the couch in front of the fireplace. There would be a book in one of his hands as he read to you quietly. Your head in his lap, his other hand taken by yours. He would read to you even when he felt your fingers still against his hand. Your chest rising and falling in even, soft breaths as you slept. 

Eventually, Billy would save up enough to buy a simple, cheap ring. He would wear it on his finger when he was home with you. You would twist it around, move it up and down gently while you played with his fingers. 

the town it resided in was convenient in the way that many people that were passing through had to stop there. so what did you do? well, the only thing you could do — turn it into a restaurant and boarding house.

the money he left behind was used to fix up the place and pay your employees.

within a few weeks time, your place was up and running with very little vacancy. families and important people were always in your bar or comfortably in their rooms. never had you ever thought someone could be as lucky as you.

until one day. that day.

you worked alongside your employees but flipped between positions. sometimes you were a hostess, ran the front desk, a bartender, or anything else that needed tending to. in response, many people did not know you were the owner — and, therefore, some people treated you like you weren’t.

mainly gross old men, which you could handle. however, when a young, strong, and tall man challenged you?

that was dangerous. too dangerous.

even a fake wedding ring didn’t steer them away.

on that day, a young blacksmith had found his way into your bar. he was handsy with you much of the night, and you tried your best to steer him away. it wasn’t until you pulled a knife on him that he finally let up. it didn’t look like anyone saw, but still — you were scared and worried. would people think you classless, for pulling a knife on a patron? would they see you as weak? would they notice that the alcohol you served brought in too rowdy of a crowd? would they stop venturing in?

you thought no one noticed, and tried to convince yourself of that fact — but you were wrong.

when you were closing for the night, mostly everyone had left. a small group of men usually stayed until close — and you didn’t mind. they drank well, paid their tab, and were mostly quiet and polite. you didn’t know any of their names — but it was usually bad when you did know a patron’s name, so you liked them.

you had your back turned to the front of the bar, stacking bottles, when someone cleared their throat from behind you.

“ma’am?”

you turned around.

a tall, fair skinned man with a hat stood before you. his clothes were old and worn, and his fingernails reflected that he was a hard worker during the day. that type of exhaustion was also reflected in his eyes.

but, damn... his face? no one could deny that that man was handsome.

you smiled. “another drink, sir?”

“no. thank you.” he paused for a moment, keeping your gaze. “i wanted to check if you were alright.”

you immediately knew what he was talking about, but kept your face stoic. “yes, sir, thank you.”

he looked like he wanted to say something, but struggled with how to word it. “he usually a problem?”

you clenched your jaw. “he’s… he’s fine. too much drink, ‘s’all. gets the best of working men. can’t blame ‘em.” you swallowed, trying to keep your anxiety at bay. who was this man and why did he care? was he a friend of the man? “you sure there’s nothing i can’t get for you?”

“some wouldn't blame ‘em.” he ignored your question. his bright blue eyes held your gaze. “i would.”

you forced a tight lipped smile. with a laugh, you joked, “i’ll… be fine, sir. thank you. thought a fake wedding ring would do the trick… gotta think of something else now.”

he smiled, but in a sad way. “i was going to ask if your husband ever checked in on the place.”

“no husband,” you affirmed with a sigh. you introduced yourself, and then asked, “what’s your name?”

“william h. bonney, ma’am… but you can call me billy.”

“nice to meet you, billy,” you smiled. “and, please — don’t call me ma’am.”

“alright.” he returned your smile. “the men behind me… we run a sort of — security detail for part time work. if you ever wanted to hire us, we could have a man here when we can spare.”

you nodded, contemplating your offer. he explained the per diem, and you immediately agreed.

“if your man can keep this place safe with little bloodshed, i’ll even throw in a free bottle a day,” you countered.

and that was how your business with billy the kid and his men began.

the men that came along were usually polite and quiet, and mostly stayed at the edge of the bar. they watched for problems, and slowly but surely your fear had begun to subside. there was a minor scuffle one day, where a man had cracked a glass and cut you with it… but billy’s man had stopped him before he could do anything else. you didn’t hold it against billy’s guy — you cared about your business and if the business got bloody, not so much yourself.

billy, on the other hand… did not agree.

one day, bright and early, he parked himself at the middle of the bar where you stood behind the counter.

“rarely see you for detail,” you smiled, wiping down a glass. “much less this early. breakfast, mr. bonney?”

“billy, ma’am,” he responded. “breakfast does sound fine.”

you laughed. “i hate when you call me ma’am.”

“don’t much like it when you call me mister,” he quirked an eyebrow. billy was a rather emotionless and hard man, but you could tell he was joking.

you laughed again. “steak and eggs for billy, coming right up.”

the rest of the day went on peacefully, and you kept billy’s glass full. he was quiet and didn’t talk much, which you weren’t too keen about. he was mysterious, tall, dark and handsome — which was usually a bad combination. you knew it was, and you should’ve cared — but you didn’t.

as you were filling billy’s glass into the later hours of the afternoon, you finally bucked up the courage to ask him a question.

“so why did you stop in today?” you asked. “not that i mind. i just have only seen you when you come in at night.”

“we made a deal, sweetheart,” he responded. your eyes perked up at the nickname. you didn’t hate the nickname — but you hated yourself a wee bit for how much you liked hearing billy call you it. “the man i sent here was supposed to make sure he kept you from harm — he didn’t hold up his end on the deal.”

“it was kept quiet from the other patrons,” you responded. “that’s all i really care about. i’m a woman in the restaurant and boardinghouse business — stuff like that is bound to happen. no need to be hard on him.”

“you keep my men’s glasses too full for them to let slip ups like that happen,” he replied. “he knew better. should've acted better.”

“you’re the boss, billy,” you sighed with a smile. “i’m just the bartender.”

“damn good bartender at that,” he spoke. “too good.”

you giggled, and grew ashamed rather quickly at how much you enjoyed his company. you didn’t know him well, no… but damn, was it nice to have him around.

the rest of the night was rather quiet. a few families had stepped in and out, and a few meetings were being held where the tables sat. that was until the blacksmith that started this whole thing came in and sat himself only a stool away from billy.

you threw a look at billy, but he didn’t meet your eyes. his peripheral vision was already on the man. billy remembered him, and you couldn’t say fondly.

“whiskey, sweetheart,” he grunted. “leave the bottle.”

you sighed. a quiet day was going to turn into a rough night in a matter of a few moments.

“mr. martin, i can’t leave the bottle unless you settle your tab from the nights prior,” you answered. “i can get you a double and add it on, though, if that’s alright with you?”

“that’s not alright with me, girl,” he grunted again, glaring you down. “leave the damn bottle!”

you stood your ground. “there’s a bar across the street, mr. martin.”

“you don’t want my business, that it, sweetheart?”

“not much business if you don’t pay," you quipped.

through gritted teeth, he spat, “leave. the damn. bottle.”

“pay. the. tab.”

he went to catch you by the arm, but you were too quick. you anticipated his antics this time. you snatched an empty bottle, and broke the base of it in the sink. you put the broken, jagged edge of the neck of the bottle in between the two of you. your eyes were wild — you could feel it, and both men could definitely see it. startled, he drew back.

“this is the only bottle you’re getting with that attitude.”

that was when billy stood up and walked towards the man. the thuds of his boots, though few considering the short distance, were deafening in the mostly silent bar. you may have had a makeshift weapon, but billy? billy the kid? everyone knew what he had on him.

“time for you to leave, friend.”

the man laughed. “friend? who’s my friend to tell me when i need to leave?”

“the one who’s a quicker draw than you, that's who." his answer was slow and cool — too calm, which only made the shiver of a threat run up and down your spine faster.

the man, all talk, clenched his jaw as he stared at billy. he slapped the tab money on the top of the bar, and walked out.

you didn’t let out a sigh of relief until the man left.

but billy was the one that spoke first. “was going to step in immediately… but you held your own. they need to respect you before they’re scared of me.”

you laughed. “little does he know i’m all talk as well.”

“with that bottle?” he chuckled. “sweetheart, even i was scared.”

“you threatened him with a gun… i don’t think anything scares you, billy,” you asked. “thank you for stepping in.”

“‘s my job.”

“i know… but still,” you spoke.

you were continuing to close before he spoke again.

“what made you want to start this place?” he asked.

“my father passed a few moons before i opened this place,” you responded. “no parents, no husband — thought i might try this out.”

“my ma wanted to start a place like this,” he replied. “never got the chance.”

you nodded with a sad smile. “didn’t know her… but i think she’d be proud of how you handled that. don’t think he’ll be much trouble anymore.”

“she’d think i’m trouble with how full the lovely bartender keeps my glass,” he spoke, but looked like he instantly regretted it. “my apologies, i shouldn’t’ve — the whiskey —“

“you’re fine,” you laughed, your blush pinching your cheeks. as you walked away, you threw over your shoulder, “hopefully your ma wouldn’t mind that i keep her son’s glass full for his good work… nor that i think her son’s handsome.”

from that day forward, billy was always the man who sat at your bar.

he always greeted and made pleasant conversation with you, and glared at any man that got too aggressive with you. if looks could kill… billy would never need what he held in his holster.

you’d giggle to yourself after the creepy men would walk away. you’d never know… but when billy would hear your giggle afterwards, he’d smile, too.

but he kept that to himself.

however, slowly… he was becoming more comfortable with your company.

“so why didn’t you marry?” he one day asked randomly.

you were wiping down a glass when you got lost in the thought. “when there’s a nice one that’s interested… maybe. haven’t already because there aren’t very many nice ones. it was very convenient when you started keeping the bad ones away.”

to your dismay, he didn’t say anything in response.

but you had gotten comfortable with his company, too. too comfortable.

“and why isn’t there a mrs. bonney, billy?”

“she’d get jealous about how much time i spend with you,” he responded.

there was very little emotion in his voice, and you were afraid of reading into what he was saying. was he returning your flirtations? was he telling you that you were a drag? to answer your own question, you jokingly said, “well if i’m too much trouble, mr. bonney, you are more than welcome to have another one of your men step in.”

“well, ma’am —“ he began. “then i’d get jealous of how much time they were spending with you.”

you couldn’t hide the blush that rose into your cheeks. billy looked upon your face with a small smile tugging at his lips, and his gaze didn’t waver.

“keep talking like that, billy, and i’ll become trouble for you,” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“can’t say i’d mind much,” he responded, taking a sip of his glass, but holding eye contact with you.

if you weren’t frozen, you would’ve pulled yourself over the bar right then and then and planted yourself in his lap. you would’ve flung his glass to the floor, and wouldn’t have cleaned it up until you had kissed every inch of that man. you would’ve responded, but you couldn’t...

that was when billy’s men had stepped into the bar.

the air immediately darkened. the blonde one, named jesse, had led the pack as they stalked in. billy immediately flipped around to see what the problem was.

“sweetheart, give us a minute,” billy asked, calling over his shoulder.

billy never gave you orders, let alone in your own bar. however, if he was asking you to… you figured you should probably listen. you left the bar and went into the back. most of your employees had left for the night, so you helped the remaining ones clean up. it would be a few minutes or so before billy had come back into the kitchen to find you. you went back into the bar with him.

“i’ll be back before you close,” he spoke. “lock the doors.”

a second order. something he never did in the first place. something was wrong. you didn’t pry… you just scrunched your eyebrows in response.

“something’s up,” he spoke. he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before he turned to leave. “i’m takin’ care of it.”

there you stood, absolutely stunned. billy and his men left the bar with haste and didn’t look back. you, on the other hand, stood frozen… unable to leave the spot where you had billy the kid, known for his deadly skills, kiss you on the cheek.

you finally moved, reluctantly, but only to close up.

it would be close to an hour before billy finally came back. a few of his friends came with him, and they dragged in a man on their shoulder who was grunting in pain. blood was pouring from his leg, and you immediately went for the medical supplies you kept hidden under the counter. you grabbed two bottles of whiskey for good measure, arguably also a part of your makeshift kit.

“put him down on the table,” you gushed. his men were stunned to see you hustling, but they didn’t hesitate to rest their friend. you immediately took a look at the man’s leg, and were thankful to see that there would be no permanent damage. you shoved a bottle at jesse, and stated, “make him drink this.”

jesse had unscrewed the bottle and helped his friend drink before you fished out the bullet. thankfully no arteries were punctured, but it would be some time before he was good again. you cleaned up the man the best you could, and asked if any of the men needed anything.

“no, ma’am…” jesse responded. “we were going to bring him here and do it ourselves, your place was closest… so thank you.”

you smiled at him. “take the bottles. need it more than me.”

he tipped his hat to you.

“jesse,” billy began. “you and the boys head home.”

without question, jesse nodded. they helped their friend to his feet and left with a goodbye. even though they left, the unsettling feeling of the room hadn’t changed. billy seemed… different. heavier. he wasn’t the same man that had kissed you on the cheek before he had left.

you turned to him. “i won’t pry, but —“

“good,” he spat, turning to you. billy’s eyes bore into yours like you were one of the problem men at your bar. “don’t.”

a look of hurt flashed across your face. you could feel it. “you’re looking at me like i did something.”

“i told you to lock the door,” he spat again, his look of anger unwavering.

you had only seen billy's eyes that wide and that angry when there was someone being cruel to you. the thought made you shiver.

“how would you have gotten back in?” you asked.

“knocked,” he bit.

you narrowed your eyes at his curt response. “i had a feeling something was wrong. if i had waited to unlock, i couldn’t have gotten that bullet out as fast as i did.”

“doesn’t matter,” he bit. “how am i supposed to keep you safe if you won’t listen to me?”

you scrunched your brows together in confusion. “billy… whatever happened where you were, it wasn’t here. i could’ve gone to bed… but i stayed up. waiting for you.”

“and what if someone came in, huh? what then?” he hollered. “what would you have done then?! what would i have done if you had gotten hurt?”

you shook your head in disbelief. you couldn’t believe billy was speaking to you with such disdain. “with the way you’re talking to me, billy — sounds like you’re used to women who don’t pull knives on creepy men, hold broke bottles to their necks — or fish bullets out of legs when i don’t know why he was shot in the first place. you’re used to those kind of women, and have a problem with me? maybe you should go back to them.”

you immediately turned away from him, beginning to walk towards the bar. billy was hot on your heels when he reached out to grab your wrist and turned you around.

he grabbed both sides of your face and pressed his lips to yours.

you wanted to scream at him, throw fists at his chest, push him away — anything to let you know how he hurt you, how he wronged you... but you couldn't.

no. you couldn't.

you were so stunned you stood frozen in place as his lips moved against yours. you loosely held his wrists in your hands, and kissed him back.

“don’t want those girls, darlin’,” he spoke, breathless, in between kisses. “knew you were a real woman the first time i saw you. the kind that puts the fear of god into you, but looks at you with such a sweetness in her eyes that you can’t look away.”

“better believe it, bonney,” you spat, half joking. “you’ve seen how quick i am.”

“i know, darlin’, i know,” he whispered, kissing you once more. “i also know i was wrong to speak to you the way i did.”

“shut your damn mouth and kiss me,” you replied, pulling him closer to you.

“yes, ma’am,” he playfully responded, and you slapped his shoulder.

billy had backed you up against the wall and pressed his body towards yours. you stood on your toes to reach him, and even then he had to lean down a foot or two.

“billy…” you began, pulling away. “i’ve never… but if you wouldn’t think less of me, we could go upstairs. to my room.”

“i’d never think less of you,” he spoke, shaking off your comment. “but… what’d’ya mean, ‘never?’”

“i’ve never been with a man, billy,” you responded, suddenly embarrassed.

he was quiet for a moment, before stating, “you sure you want it to be with me?”

you nodded. “if… if you want to, that is.”

he didn’t respond to your statement, he just kissed you. he kissed you with every emotion you didn’t think he ever possessed — raw, hot, desperate emotion that held you close and tight to him. the heat and the intensity made your brain swim, but you could only care so much when billy the fucking kid wanted you.

he slipped an arm around your shoulders and then underneath your knees before he picked you up. you bit back a squeal before you threw your arms around his neck.

“light as a feather, sweetheart, don’t you worry,” he spoke.

“all that steak i been feeding you?” you joked.

“my belt can’t help it if my woman feeds me well,” he replied, almost at the top of the stairs.

“you’re a flirt,” you giggled.

you pointed him towards your room. once in, he laid you down on the bed and laid on top of you. his body was warm and sturdy over yours, and you couldn’t help but feel warm. his hips were pressed against yours, but you couldn’t feel him through your dress. you grew frustrated at the thought.

you made quick work to undue his shirt, and billy was quick to catch on. he pulled away to take off his shirt, and you tried to take off your corset with his help.

“damn death trap,” he spat, fussing.

you giggled. he was cute when he was flustered, but nothing compared to the way he was looking hungrily down at you. you were completely bare before him, and you should’ve been embarrassed… but shame wasn’t present in this moment. the only thing you registered was how billy looked down at you — with adoration in his eyes as they raked down your naked form.

“will you…” you began. “will you show me… how to please… you?”

“another time, sweetheart,” he spoke, stealing a quick kiss from you. “i need my head between those legs of yours.”

“you-you don’t have to —“ you spoke. “i know that’s not something — that boys —“

“yeah — boys.” billy snapped, glaring at you. “real men want to taste their women.”

that shut you right up.

billy wedged himself in between your thighs and spread your folds. it caused a sharp intake of breath on your part, but you didn’t realize what you were in for. billy flattened his tongue, and licked a long stripe up your slit. your teeth sank into your lip at the foreign feeling that cause so much warmth to make your veins twitch.

…but when billy’s nose had nudged a specific spot at the top of your slit — your legs jerked.

“what — what —“ you stammered.

“shh,” billy cooed, slightly laughing. “i forgot how sensitive you were. my apologies, sweetheart.”

you trusted billy, sure, but you had never felt anything like that before in your life. the jerking motion of your legs was involuntary and made you fearful. billy could see the fear written on your face.

“that spot that i touched, that you felt?” he asked.

his eyes were so wide and meaningful you felt like you could melt in them. you brought yourself up to your elbows and hummed in acknowledgement.

“that is the most sensitive part of a woman, and if i play it just right —“ ever so lightly, you felt his middle finger and ring finger touch the spot. you shivered at the feeling, but you didn’t flinch like last time. you held his gaze as the warmth began to spread inside you. “i can make you feel better than you’ve ever felt.”

billy bent over your body and held himself up with extended arm planted firmly by your side. he swiped the two fingers over his tongue to lubricate them, and brought them right back to where they were. you both watched his fingers play at the most sensitive part of you, and your lip began to quiver.

“look at me, sweetheart.”

your eyes glanced back up to him.

like you thought before, if angry looks could kill… anyone would die by just a look from billy the kid. however, what would they say about the way he’s looking at you now? with his plump lips parted, and his eyes wild and hungry? you didn't know... but you knew you would find out.

“y’trust me?” he asked.

you hummed in agreement, nodding.

“say it.”

you sharply inhaled, caught off guard by his order. “yes, billy — i trust you.”

instead of leaning back down to plunge his face in between your thighs, he kissed you. his lips connected with yours in one of the most dominating ways you ever thought a man could. with his hand playing between your thighs, he swallowed every moan and cry you struggled to keep hidden inside of you. billy was breathing hard against you — relishing in how it felt to have you so vulnerable and close to him.

that was when his fingers picked up speed.

and, god… did it feel damn good.

“b-billy,” you whimpered. “feels…”

“still trust me?”

“yes,” you cried, screwing your eyes shut. “yes, it’s just…”

he leaned his head down so his mouth was right by your ear. his breaths were hot against your ear, and you hummed at the feeling. your hand played with the curls at the nape of his neck, tugging at the roots.

“fuck — you takin’ what i’m givin’ to you, darlin’,” he rasped, then continued, “drives me insane.”

you could barely hear what he was saying, nor could you respond. your head was swimming with the weight of billy so close to your naked body, holding you down and safe, with those skilled fingers of his working you like you were a damn trigger. you were a whimpering, crying mess — and billy loved every second of it.

“something — feels —“

“d’ya want me to stop?” he asked, breathless.

“no,” you whimpered, confused how the warmth inside you felt like it was going, going, going. you didn’t know where it started, where it was going, and definitely didn’t know where it ended. you were worried that you were going to explode — but you didn’t understand. “something feels — like i’m — i’m going —“

“let it happen, sweetheart.” his kisses were wet and sloppy along the skin of your throat. he nipped at the skin, and that only sent you into more of a frenzy. “that’s right, darlin’. that’s it. trust me. i’ve got you.”

and that was it.

the thing — billy’s words, that sent you toppling over whatever metaphorical edge you could think of to describe it. it felt like white, hot sparks went off behind your closed eyelids and were going off on every nerve ending in your body. whimpers left your bitten lips like you were a babe, and your back arched off the bed. distantly, you could hear billy cooing with excitement, laughter… and praise.

a light sheen of sweat was on both of you, and billy had never looked better. his musk was wafting through the air and had completely taken over your senses. you felt like the only thing in the room was billy and the only thing in the world that mattered was billy. men got drunk off whiskey, but you? you got drunk off of that pure, unfiltered scent and look of a masculine man who showed you how to experience the pleasure of a woman you had never known.

“fuck…” you whimpered as you came down from your high. you tried pushing billy’s hand away, but you were so weak you didn’t think you could.

“sorry, darlin’,” he laughed, kissing your throat again. “got selfish. wanted to keep seeing that pretty look on your face.”

it was difficult for you to find words, let alone enough for an adequate response. “billy… that… that felt…”

“i’m gonna be trouble for you now.” he stole a kiss. “nothing better than seeing you below me, like that…”

“i want you to feel good, too,” you began. “please, billy? i wanna see you, too.”

his lips formed a tight line. “i don’t want it to hurt you.”

“first time doesn’t always hurt,” you spoke. “no one says the second time hurts.”

he smiled at that, and began to roll on top of you. you stopped him, and gestured for him to sit up against the headboard. he was hesitant at first, but he did it anyway. you hovered your hips above his before licking one of your palms and gliding it over the tip of his length. you stroked him a few times, and a soft moan left his lips at the feeling.

“i can keep going,” you spoke, throwing a sultry look up at him. “i want to make you feel good.”

“no, doll,” he rasped. “too selfish. need to see that pretty face of yours do what it does again.”

you pouted for a short moment before you lifted your hips above his length and began to sink down. you could feel a slick leaking from your folds, which made you feel better about actually getting him inside you.

“go slow,” he ordered suddenly. “you stop if it hurts, got it?”

you nodded, half ignoring him.

but it didn’t hurt.

the first inch didn’t hurt. the second didn’t. the third, the fourth, the fifth, sixth, — you lost count. billy was so big and filled you so nicely that you were so greedy with how you sank down into him. you couldn’t have cared less about what he said before about going slow — all you needed was to feel all of him completely.

“you didn’t listen —“ he grunted, slightly mad. “you’re so lucky you feel good, fuck — you’re so tight —“

“so what if i didn’t listen, mr. bonney?” you smiled coyly at him, a sudden bout of confidence coming over you. maybe it was the post orgasm glow, maybe it was the new feeling of having the most perfect man inside of you — you weren’t sure. “you feel — so good.”

“don’t get bold on me, sweetheart,” he smirked.

you didn’t listen. you picked up your pace, rocking your hips back and forth to what felt good inside of you.

billy’s cock liked that, sure — but he didn’t. you could see the mental turmoil on his face as his neglected cock was finally getting the attention it deserved, but his hothead person didn’t like that his girl was getting smart on him.

that was when billy flipped you over onto your back, much to your dismay. you liked putting on a show for him and doing all the work for a change.

“you wanna act like that, darlin’, huh?” he asked in your ear with a raspy, lust filled voice. “not gonna listen to me?”

“it just felt so good, billy, please —“ you were whining at this point, pissed he had taken away that feeling.

“oh, you’re a greedy thing, that right?” he taunted. “gets one fuckin’ taste, and now she can’t get enough?”

you shook your head, desperate for something — anything. “so greedy, baby. please, billy — please just fuck me.”

his hips snapped against you. hard.

maybe it should’ve hurt — but fucking christ, it didn’t. it felt so good to have his strong, forceful hips thrust against yours and hit that spot so deep inside of you.

“you like that?” he asked, taunting you. “that’s what my greedy girl wanted? — needed?”

his hips were relentlessly snapping against yours now as he hovered above you by holding himself up on his elbows. the sight of his broad and strong chest and shoulders… enough to make any woman weak. a firm crease was in his brow, signaling he was struggling to keep up his mean persona.

“yes — yes —“ you cried. “billy, you’re so deep — it feels — fuck, you can’t stop billy. please —“

“sweetest fuckin’ pussy,” he grunted. “squeezing me so tight.”

“right there — that’s the spot, baby,” you bit your lip to keep your voice down.

billy leaned his forehead against yours, and his exhales fanned against your face. little moans were escaping his lips as well, but nothing like yours. instead, he spat, “couldn’t let me be nice to you and fuck you sweet, huh? had to get smart on me?”

you could barely hear him. billy’s usual raspy, and commanding voice was enough to make anyone stand at attention — but now? now you were some cockdrunk whore who didn’t care how she got what she wanted, only that she did. his thrust were hard and fast, hitting a deep spot in you that was making that warmth swell up in you again.

“didn’t want sweet, billy,” you whimpered. “wanted you to use me just like this.”

you weren’t sure what came over you — and billy wasn’t sure either. his thrusts didn’t falter, but he couldn’t understand how the pretty, innocent looking bartender could be so fucking naughty — but only for him. a sense of pride had never welled up inside him like that before, knowing that he was the only one who got to see the prettiest girl in town keen for someone’s touch like this.

his touch. only his touch.

“gonna be the fuckin’ death of me,” he spat against your ear. “should’ve known you’d be such a good girl for me — taking my cock like this. can you cum around my cock like this? gonna be the best girl — and show me how that pussy tightens around me?”

the curse words billy drew from you were not your sunday best, but they made billy’s guttural groans against your throat and ear that much more enticing. you were both covered in sweat, spit, and slick — and nothing had ever felt better. you were close, so close — and all you wanted was to see him finish so you could see it for yourself.

“billy, i’m so close —“ you cried. “but i wanna —i wanna see you —“

“shhh,” he cooed. “gonna take what i give you, sweet girl.”

he sent a hand in between your bodies, and started playing with that spot that had made you explode the last time. you almost protested, but there was nothing like having a man buried so deep inside you do whatever he could to make sure you felt the best you could. you whined, you cried, you screamed, fuck — you did everything to let him know that you were close, billy, i’m so close, please, i’m begging, please don’t stop, and billy refused to look away from your beautiful face as you came undone below him once more.

with your beautiful hair fanned out around you, billy thought you looked ethereal as your second orgasm overtook you. there was something about the way your eyes fluttered softly closed, but broken gasps left your lips like you were so far gone in pleasure that you were lost in it. here, beneath him, before him, was a woman he had spent so much time protecting, so worried about her safety… all he wanted to do was make her feel good. when your limbs began to quiver, knowing you were so deep in your orgasm that you were at the peak, billy couldn’t help himself. he knew you were sensitive, he knew how it would be too much, he knew he shouldn't — but he had to. he was so, so selfish with his greedy girl.

his fingers kept spinning circles on your pink rosebud, and it was like the white light behind your eyes couldn’t stop. you were gasping for air — begging, pleading, hoping, wishing. it was so much. it was too much. it was everything and anything all at once, and you didn’t realize how far you were falling until tears leaked from your eyes.

he should've hated himself for making you feel so lost, but he didn't. not one bit.

“billy —“ you cried, shaking. “i’m so — so sensitive —“

he engulfed you into a long kiss, smiling smugly against your lips. you would’ve laughed with him, but you were so weak. so, so weak. he knew how sensitive you were, and stopped his movements completely. you didn’t realize he hadn’t finished with you until he began to pull out of you.

“billy — you didn’t —“

“s’alright, darlin’—“

“no, it’s not,” you said firmly. “teach me how to do — that thing.”

“that... thing?”

“with my mouth.”

he hesitated before shaking his head. “i don’t… tonight was a lot — for you.”

you narrowed your eyes at him. “boys don’t taste their women, right? men do?”

he scrunched his eyebrows together, confused, but nodded anyway.

“and what about real women, billy?” you asked. “you think they like leaving their men unsatisfied?”

his lips parted at a loss. he couldn’t argue with that, could he?

“sit on the edge of the bed,” you spoke, sliding out from under him and finding a place on the floor.

he hesitated, but he didn’t argue with that, either.

you tried to hide your smirk from him.

he'd never tell you he saw it. he also would never tell you he loved it.

"you gonna tell me what to do, or what, cowboy?" you smirked up at him, taunting.

he shook his head, and pursed his lips in a way that he knew you were in over your head. "you're acting bold. let's see if you got a reason to."

you narrowed your eyes at him, but smiled anyway.

you returned your attention to the muscle you were holding in yours hands. it was long and thick — you weren't sure how it fit inside you before, and you definitely weren't sure how you were going to fit it in your mouth.

"too much for you, darlin'?" he quipped.

you shot him a look. "wasn't too much a minute ago, was it?"

you didn't let him respond. you licked the palm of your hand — throwing manners to the wind — and wrapped your hand around the tip and the top of the shaft. you made circular, stroking motions at the top and licked a stripe, like he did to you, up his shaft.

that shut him up.

a long and drawn out fuuuck had left his lips.

you shouldn't've — you knew you shouldn't've.

but you did anyway.

you started to kitten lick at his balls, and you could feel him shift from above you. hot and heavy groans were leaving his lips, to the point where he was incoherent. now that you had found his sweet spot, you'd never let go. just like he didn't.

"fuck, you are naughty," he rasped, voice dry and cracked. "my naughty girl. so good f'me."

you hummed as you wrapped your lips around the skin of his balls. they were warm and salty, and you relished in the taste. billy placed a heavy palm on the back of your head. you realized then and there he was foreign to giving up control — usually you'd give in, but not now. not when he was teasing you before.

you replaced your hand with your lips, and brought him down as far as you could.

from the corner of your eye, you spotted him beginning to fist the sheets.

tears were springing to your eyes, but you didn't care. you wanted to — had to keep going. you wanted this so badly — to take care of him. you needed this, and if he wanted it, too — he was going to give it to you.

you began to bob your head up and down, taking care to mind your gag reflex and teeth. the slurping sounds from your mouth were obscene — as was the drool falling from your lips, down your cheek, and along the skin of your raw neck.

both of billy's hands were on the back of your head now, giving you slightest — almost ghost like — push down. you welcomed it, hoping to show him you could take him far, farther than he thought you could handle.

above, he was going crazy. fucking nuts. his entire body was hot and on fire, and it took every ounce of him to not drag you back up into his lap and impale you on his cock. however... his muscles were tired, and his sweet girl looked so perfect on her knees before him, and who was he to deny her what she wanted so badly — what she earned?

he'd never tell you — but he wanted you to have it more than you wanted it yourself. he wanted you to know that he only felt comfortable enough with you to be in such a vulnerable position like this — pretty woman, teeth so close to his jewels. he wanted you to know that you were setting every nerve, vein, blood vessel on absolute fucking fire with the way your silky tongue slid down the length of his shaft, and the way your tight, warm throat enclosed around his sensitive cock... he wanted you to know how much he adored you, and how much he wanted to give you everything you had ever wanted.

"fuck, sweetheart —" he bit. "I'm so close — you better — pull off —"

"too much for you, cowboy?" she only pulled off for a second, before she put him into the deepest parts of her throat.

the way you teased him set a raw set of anger and adoration through this veins, and he didn't know what to do with it. he was so weak, tired, spent, and fucking horny — he couldn't move, think, or fight back. all he wanted was to cum down this sweet girl's throat and make her his.

"that's it, baby, fuck —" he spat through gritted teeth, the hands on the back of your head encouraging your movements. "right there, right there — fuck."

you held your place, keeping a few inches of him in your mouth. his thick cock throbbed a few times before ropes of white decorated the walls of your throat, and you swallowed every last drop. you pumped him a few more times, for good measure — and also to get back at him for earlier.

"don't be mean to me, baby —" he whined. "come up and lay with me."

you giggled, crawling up the bed to lay next to him.

"gonna tell me how that was?" you asked. "or too proud?"

he chuckled then. his post orgasm glow was so beautiful... for the first time, william h. bonney didn't have a permanent from embedded in his brow. he looked so... peaceful.

"not too proud to admit that was the best I've ever had in my life," he laughed, letting his eyes close. you trailed a hand up and down the soft skin of his chest and stomach before curling up next to him. "going to be proud after i take you to the courthouse tomorrow and make you my wife."

you scoffed at that. "i didn't think cowboys were the settling down type."

"they're not — but i'm no cowboy, sweetheart," he rasped, turning to look at you. "you're it for me — if you'll have me, that is."

you smiled then. a real smile. the type of smile that gave billy hope.

"on one condition," you spoke.

his eyebrows furrowed, but he nodded his head anyway.

"you'll ask me for real in the morning, mr. bonney."

"i'll give you anything you want, mrs. bonney — as long as you're mine."

---

what did we think?? xox

those same hands that slide soothingly down your arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake despite the warm sun outside. he’s pressed against your back, his chest broad and firm behind you and you can feel billy’s breath behind your ear when he praises you. “good job, honey. keep your arms just like that, hm? and when you’re ready, you squeeze that trigger. don’t just pull on it,” he tells you. his voice drops even lower as his touch skims down your back slowly, then his long fingers are curling around either side of your waist. “squeeze it,” billy whispers, his grip bearing down on your body. squeezing you.

you take a deep breath and aim as best you can at the glass bottle perched on the fence post, carefully squeezing the trigger on his revolver. the shot rings out and kicks you back just a little, but billy’s right there behind you to keep you steady. the green glass shatters and you hear his delighted chuckle, feel his lips peppering kisses along your cheek and jaw.

“look at that, baby! you’re a natural,” billy praises. “my girl’s gonna take my title, huh? fastest gun in the west?” it makes you giggle, such happiness and pride radiating from the man you adore so much. his words make your cheeks flush with heat every time he calls you his girl.

billy uses those hands you never stop thinking about to gently pull his revolver from your grip, setting it aside to spin you around so you can face him. his hat blocks the sun from both of your faces where he stands, and his eyes match the shade of the sky. he brings his hands up to cup your jaw, brushing his thumbs along your cheeks reverently.

“what’s that pretty blush for, baby?” he asks, voice airy and sweet. the corner of his mouth ticks up in a grin. he dips his head down just enough to kiss your cheek, then smiles and presses a matching one to the other side. “is it ‘cus i called you my girl?” he teases, delight running through him as you make a little sound in the back of your throat. he loves to rile you up, make you putty in his hold. “think i ain’t noticed how you get all shy on me when i say it? its just about the cutest thing i could ever imagine.”

one hand continues to hold your jaw and you don’t even realize you’ve tipped your head into his touch, leaning your cheek into his palm like a cat being given affection. his other hand goes to brush away a strand of hair that came loose in the breeze. billy’s hands are so strong, have caused so much damage in his young life. they’ve worked hard and played even harder. his hands are steady, quick. your gunslinger.

“you are my girl, ain’t you? c’mon, honey, say it. please?” billy asks with a pretty grin.

“eat.” his voice invades your inner dialogue of criticisms towards the protagonist and you make a hum of acknowledgement to him. the next sentence makes you bite your tongue in frustration, wishing you could reach through the book to rattle the character’s shoulders and just make her-

“eat.” his voice invades your inner dialogue of criticisms towards the protagonist and you make a hum of acknowledgement to him. the next sentence makes you bite your tongue in frustration, wishing you could reach through the book to rattle the character’s shoulders and just make her-

“eat.” his voice invades your inner dialogue of criticisms towards the protagonist and you make a hum of acknowledgement to him. the next sentence makes you bite your tongue in frustration, wishing you could reach through the book to rattle the character’s shoulders and just make her-

the book snaps shut, chan’s careful finger marking the page you were on, and you look up at him with a disgruntled look. a tray of food is in his other hand, piled high with kimbap and chicken and rice from the cafeteria downstairs. wait, when did he even leave the studio to go get food? had you been that entranced?

“you haven’t eaten since this morning. we’ve been here hours. eat.” he says, setting the book down and placing his free hand on his hip.

“you’re one to talk,” you snark back. chan never eats, especially when he’s in the studio.

“hard for you to say when i’m the one with food in my hands, hmm?”

the movie playing in your head changes again, taking on the scene of your own home.

you’re covering your mouth with your elbow as you sneeze again, your nose rubbed raw from the itching and your throat scratchy and hoarse. it’s the third sneeze attack that you’ve had in as many minutes, and you’re frustrated with your own body because all you want to do is settle against chan and watch the movie you made him sit down for. but you can’t because the constant jerking you have to execute to avoid sneezing all over him leaves you uncomfortable and you just can’t find the right position to lay in.

“have you taken your medicine?” his voice rumbles in his chest below you, and you refuse to turn to answer the question because you hadn’t. he makes a sound of concern as he maneuvers you to settle against the couch cushions instead of his warm body.

“medicine first, then cuddles,” he says in response to your whine when he leaves you, returning within seconds with a bottle of nighttime cold medicine and a little cup to pour it into. he measures it out with delicate accuracy, his tongue peeking out of his mouth as he eyes the lines to make sure he’s putting just enough in. it warms your heart, but not as much as he would be if you were leeching off his body heat like you were moments ago.

he tips the syrup into your mouth, smoothing back your hair when you grimace at the taste, and before you know it you’re back in his arms and sagging from the energy it took you to sit up for a bit.

you start to get drowsy after a few scenes of the movie pass, and you’re fighting against your drooping eyes to stay awake.

“i’m going to fall asleep,” you warn him, already feeling your breathing slow as it evens out.

“that’s okay, baby,” he squeezes you for a second. “i’ll be here to hold you while you dream of me.”

your only question now, which you ponder as you write and scribble sentences out onto the paper in front of you, is which one of these examples would be best to put into your vows for next week?

but was be surprised when he walked into your place, keys in his hand, a cough echoing from your bedroom. chan frowned, closing the door and walked towards the source of the noise.

and his heart skipped a beat, shock washing over him. you were curled up on your bed, laying under two blankets and warm pair of socks on your feet. painful cough ripping from your throat as you tried to reach for the glass with water.

“y/n? what are you doing here?” he asked as if he wasn’t the one who walked into your place without you knowing. when you turned around, his heart clenched.

glossy and puffy eyes, nose all red due to constant blowing and pressing tissues, flushed cheeks and tear stains adorning them.

you mumbled something incoherent, plopping down onto your bed again. chan hurriedly walked over tho you, putting his hand on your forehead.

“oh my god, you’re burning up! did you take some medicine? how long have you been sick?” he asked, grabbing your hand with his free one. you sniff, looking away in embarrassment. but chan isn’t having any of it, stern yet concerned look on his face “y/n.”

you sigh and try to sit. chan helps you, placing a pillow behind your back before you rest it against the headboard. he sits down at the edge of the bed, both hands grabbing yours and ebony eyes looking at you in anticipation.

“well, there’s no business trip. i got sick and–“ you cough, covering your mouth with your elbow. chan sighs, looking at all the tissues laying in the floor. once the attack stops, you groan “i didn’t want you to get sick too… and other reasons”

the last part is mumbled so quietly, he almost didn’t hear it. but he did, which resulted in him frowning.

“is it about me seeing you like this? y/n, we’ve been dating for three years now… it is weird i haven’t you sick before but trust me, i lived with seven other guys for the last few years of my life. i’ve seen a lot” he giggled, a smile tugging at your lips too

“well this too but also…” you trail off, this time he didn’t understand a word you said.

“what?” chan huffed, squeezing your hand encouragingly. you sigh and look down.

“well… i didn’t understand the meds descriptions and i was too scared i’ll mix them up” you murmured, cheeks turning even more read. even though you’ve been living in korea for three years, the medical language still leaves you clueless.

“oh baby” chan grunted, hands moving to cup your cheeks “you should have called me”

“i know i just… didn’t want to bother you. and then i was too exhausted to look it up, my eyes watering after mere seconds of looking at my phone. i thought it would go away eventually…” you explained quietly, finally looking at him.

and his features are nothing but soft. as much as chan would love to gush about how cute you are, he knows he has a task ahead.

so he gathered all the medicine available in your house, quickly making you some hot soup and warm water with honey to ease your throat pain.

once you’ve eaten and took a quick nap, chan is sitting next to you and explaining slowly each medication and what is it for. occasionally looking up at you with loving eyes, he makes a mental note to write it all down later and put it in the medicine container.

[ masterlist <3 ]

┆彡 MINHO [ 민호 ]

another one that’s surprisingly calm

but he laughs at you first 😐

i mean okay. you tripped. it’s hilarious in his opinion. you’d laugh too if he was the one who tripped.

but then he realised you’re quiet, sitting on the sidewalk, tears at the brim of your waterline and he felt his heart ache :(

“oh baby don’t cry…” he murmurs, leaning down to help you stand up. you sniffle and wipe the tears that you didn’t even realise formed in your eyes.

“it hurt” you mumble and take his hand gently - since it got wounded a bit due to the little rock’s you fell onto. minho obviously notices that and helps you stand up. before you can realise he’s kneeling down

“hop on” he hums and you do, sniffling one more time. you wrap your hands around his neck gently and try to focus on him, not the pain.

once you’re back home he immediately washes the wounds and checks if the rest of your body is okay

once it’s done and your hands are safe and sound, he kneels in front of the couch you’re seated on

“i’m sorry for laughing” he mumbles, barely audible.

you nod and send him a warm smile

he monitors the state of your hands for the next days - if they heal properly and such. he’s acting like you got burned, not just a bit scraped but you still appreciate that <3

┆彡 CHANGBIN [ 창빈 ]

he is a pro at everything anatomy related

especially muscles

but his emotions always win though

so one time when you decided to go to the gym with him

and he turned away for one (1) second, then hears your groan

literally teleports next to you.

"one second. one" he scoffs and looks at you, face scrunched up in pain. the sight alone makes his heart ache - and the fact that you're in pain partly because of him, makes his heart ache even more.

he shakes his head and examines your shoulder, pressing his fingers. then he finds the muscle that you probably pulled. your eyes fill with tears.

"it hurts..." you murmur and changbin swears he's close to crying too.

gets you ASAP to some proffesional doctor

holds your hand for the whole time :(

when the doc says you have to rest it's like the word got tattooed in his brain

mans doesn't let you do ANYTHING, even clings to you when you're putting on your shoes

but in general he's very protective and does an research about every injury possible... just in case, duh

┆彡 HYUNJIN [ 현진 ]

your boyfriend clearly said that kkami is in a strange mood today and you should not touch him

but oh well.

yeah.

so while he was on a call and suddenly heard a loud yelp followed by kkami’s growl, he knew something was up

he entered the living room froze, all thoughts flying like out of a window

the manager’s voice, kkami’s aggressive behaviour towards you and you pouting with a quivering lip and glossy eyes :(

he excused the man and hung up, coming up to you

“i’m sorry” you mumble and sniff, kkami slowly hiding his teeth. hyunjin sat next to you, one arm wrapping around yours and the other gently grabbing your hand that you were holding close to you.

he looked at your forearm and the bite marks. they weren’t too deep yet they were slightly bleeding and most likely to leave a mark.

“i’m sorry…” you said again and looked at you, shocked “i should have listened…”

“hey, calm down. it’s okay” hyunjin hums and rests his forehead against your head for a moment before getting up to grab some bandages.

safe to say you avoided kkami for a while 😭

but you knew it was your mistake

hyunjin urged to take you to the hospital for some checkups but eventually he left the decision up to you

constantly checks if the wound is healing properly

one it is, he places kisses all over it ㅠㅠ

and gives you a lecture too

but you already learned your lesson so 😭

┆彡 JISUNG [ 지성 ]

he swears he didn’t mean to laugh

but it was 2am and you two were just in such mood

like hey, you laughed at him almost tripping like second ago

so when you trip on the stairs whilst coming back to your apartment from a midnight walk

he laughs, holding onto the wall

you laugh at first too but then the pain hits you

jisung takes a deep breath to calm down and notices how you’re sitting still on the stairs

“i’m sorry” he says, still smiling. you shake your head as it’s fine but he can clearly see you’re in pain. han panics a bit because what if you’re hurting? what if he made you sad with his reaction? what if…?

“will you help me get up or…?” you sigh dramatically and jisung does. once back in your apartment you roll up your pants only to see your knee bleeding.

“oh baby. you scraped it pretty badly. sit down, okay? let me take care of you” jisung hums, placing a soft kiss on your forehead before gently pushing you onto the couch. you notice how concerned he is and you reassure him that it’s fine.

once he’s done he notices you dozed off so he takes a pic :”)

other than that my poor boy feels so bad that he was laughing instead of helping, pls tell him it’s okay :(

will act like your leg fell off not just got scraped 💀

“nah let me tie your shoes!”

you don’t mind tho…

will hold onto for you for his dear life next time you two are walking up the stairs

┆彡 FELIX [ 필릭스 ]

no one saw this coming right

you were baking some cookies for felix!!

you knew he will be home soon so you kind of, well, were in a rush

so you opened the oven quickly and accidentally touched the flaming hot metal with your forearm

with tears in your eyes you quickly put it under lukewarm water

and you didn't even notice when he entered the kitchen :(

"y/n, it smells delicious... y/n?" felix gasps when he sees your sobbing figure. he immediately connects the dots and walks up to you to check the wound "oh baby"

"i wanted to surprise you" you sniff, looking at him. felix cupped your face and wiped your tears, shaking his head.

"i appreciate it, baby. but lets take care of you now, okay?" felix hums and with an aching heart he looks for the last time at your sad face.

in a matter of time you're sitting on a counter top, the wound less burning and achy (you believe its due to felix presence but he knows its how it works)

felix reassures you it's okay and even if you didn't manage to decorate the cookies, he's thankful you made them for him

he jokingly forbids you from using the oven but honestly whenever he hears you use it in the future, he runs up to the kitchen

┆彡 SEUNGMIN [ 승민 ]

you were supposed to meet in a park at 3pm

it was 5pm.

seungmin was a bit angry at first but then when you didn’t even call him, he started to worry

just when he got home, his phone started ringing

he never answered a phone call so fast.

“seungmin i’m so sorry…” you start

“you better have a good explanation” he murmurs, annoyed

“i uh, had an accident. but i’m leaving the hospital tomorrow though, if you’re still up to a date” you say calmly. there’s a long, suspicious silence “hello?”

“you had a what now?” seungmin asks, sounding almost unbothered. but his shaky breath gives him away.

“someone kind of, well, hit me with a car. but i’m okay! just a broken leg and some scratches. i got a vanilla pudding tho– hello?” you ask again but the sound of call ending answers instead.

you have no idea how he found out in which hospital you are

he walks into your room and you think he’ll be angry

but his features soften as he sits next to you, grabbing your hand

he doesn’t say much, almost nothing really. but his hand tightly holding yours says a lot :(

stays with you overnight in the hospital

and then he writes and doodles on your cast when you sleep

overall he’s very protective and watches carefully if your leg is healing properly

┆彡 JEONGIN [ 정인 ]

your group was having a comeback in a week and you were practicing really hard for your fans!

one day you happened to forget your knee protectors and your rehersal included your stage outfitss - which included a skirt

well, safe to say your knees looked like hell at the end of the day

you even had to put on a bandaid...

so obviously, even after changing into sweatpants before heading home, jeongin notices the soreness in your movements and the scrunch of discomfort on your face

and once you're in bed, in your pajamas, jeongin strikes

"what on earth are you doing?" you giggle as he rolls you over and with a playful grin throws off the covers. because of the summer weather you're in your shorts and that's when you realise what he's up to "innie..."

“you should have told me…” he tsks, shaking his head. he stands up to get some hydrogen peroxide.

“i know…” you whined when he came back “…but you’re even busier than me and it’s just a couple of bruises…”

“but it hurts. i know from my own experience” jeongin scoffs “please tell me next time, okay?”

you nod and watch him gently put some of the liquid at the scratches. after he’s done, he wraps you in a blanket burrito and snuggles with you to sleep.

it’s a small thing but please do tell him :(

he throws in an extra pair of knee protectors in your bag just in case

and even if somehow you don’t have them and you text him – he’s there right away, with them and some snacks for your group <3

[ masterlist <3 ]

first you got back your grade for the exam you took a few weeks ago that you had thought went so well, but apparently you failed completely.

and then you got stuck in traffic while driving to the job interview you had been nervous for for weeks and ended up being way too late making the manager send you away even before the interview could start.

you usually were able to handle these kind of hardships. but lately it got harder to deal with such things as you were starting to get more exhausted everyday, both mentally and physically.

you really just wanted to sleep for a long time and to be able to ignore all your responsibilities for a while.

but even if you would try to, you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep as there were too many thoughts and worries occupying your mind all the time.

the sound of a car honking made you snap out of your lousy state as you sat up straight.

you frowned as you walked to your window before leaning over the railing.

the frown on your lips unconsciously disappeared as your eyes locked with a pair belonging to the strawberry blond haired boy leaning against his beat up truck.

felix grinned as he gave you a nod, “good evening, princess.”

you rolled your eyes at the cheesy nickname as a smile tugged on your lips.

“what are you doing here, lix?”

“let’s go for a drive,” he beamed as he softly hit the car door with the palm of his hand.

“i was actually planning on dwelling in my room for the rest of the night,” you responded, fiddling with the rings on your fingers.

felix frowned, “because of the exam and job interview? y/n, i swear i know it all might seem like a really big deal right now, but in a few years you won’t even remember it anymore. it’s not worth ruining your mood over, i promise. plus you love these kind of summer nights, don’t waste them by rotting away in your room.”

you pouted as you looked at your boyfriend, thinking for a second.

“you’re right.”

he grinned, “i’m always right. now come down here and lets go for a drive, we’ll listen to all your favorite songs and get ice cream.”

a genuine smile formed on your lips as you nodded.

you quickly walked down the stairs, put on your sneakers and exited the front door before running up to your boyfriend.

he pushed himself off his car as he opened his arms to engulf you in a tight hug.

you buried your face in the crook of his neck as you inhaled the familiar scent of his cologne, immediately feeling yourself calm down.

felix noticed the way you held onto him longer and tighter than usual and felt worry wash over him as he realized the way you felt probably went further than just being disappointed over the failed exam and job interview.

he placed a kiss on the side of your head as he softly rubbed circles on your lower back.

“do you want to talk about it?” he whispered and you shook your head, only holding onto him tighter.

felix didn’t like it when you bottled up your feelings, but tonight he allowed you to not talk about them and to get your mind off them instead.

tonight he just wanted to distract you and for you to have a good time.

“alright, then let’s go.”

you let go of felix and got in the passenger side of his jeep.

he got in the vehicle as well and started the engine before grabbing your hand and placing it in his lap.

you smiled as you turned on the radio with your free hand, connecting your phone to the aux.

you and felix sang along to your favorite songs as you drove with the windows down.

felix’ eyes flickered from the road to the side of your face as you sang your heart out, your right arm stretched out of the window as you let the wind run through your fingers.

felix smiled as he felt his heart grow a size at the sight.

he brought your left hand that was still in his lap to his lips before pressing a kiss on your knuckles.

you turned to face him, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“i love you,” you smiled, your eyes full of admiration for the boy.

you felt grateful for the way he got you out of your head tonight and for the way he made you genuinely smile again. grateful for the way he always cared for you.

grateful for the fact he existed.

felix bit his lower lip to fight the big grin that was threatening to color his lips. he had heard you say you loved him plenty of times, and still it flustered him every time.

he would never be able to get over the fact that he got lucky enough to be loved by you.

“i love you more, my dear.”