me? i’m tight as fuck

Jesus

Then they spit roast me

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

i wish i was a cishet guy so that i could start a podcast and go to the gym and allow that to fulfill me spiritually. but instead i have these visions

I'm trying to sleep and the bugs outside are buzzing at a certain cluster of wavelengths that reads to my brain as a human voice and whenever I let my focus shift it jumps to trying to hear what the gnat king has to say

I closed my window

WHYS THERE A METAL CUP IN THE MICROWAVE

NOOO LITTLE CAT DONT PUT METAL IN THE MICROWAVE

Reblogging again because I just realized that if I had this advice in high school I would’ve never made a tumblr account.

Also works for most of those news sites like WSJ or NYT that only let you read a little bit, or block adblockers. Also some disable the scroll bar but if you go to the right side of the console after hitting F12 and look for the CSS element “overflow” and change it from “hidden” to “visible” then you can continue scrolling for free. Might have to click around on different parts of the page to find it, but it should work.

i want a cig and a joint and alcohol n a cool knife n maybe some blood loss

cats will literally be loud and small and in the way

Babe are you okay I saw you reblogging "here's the life I've always longed for"

oh fuck *falls back into old habits* *screen fades to black* *level loading* TIP: your belief that you are incapable of changing for the better will become a self fulfilling prophecy if left unchallenged