theres comfort at the bottom of a swimming pool
Peter Solarz
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@gloombby
theres comfort at the bottom of a swimming pool

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resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that
One of the emotional labours of being adopted is that you can never stop coming out as adopted and mentioning it to people who don't know you are. You can't remain a "closet" adoptee because circumstances demand you discuss your parents sometimes and it's often unavoidable.
It's one of the most little-known oppressions out there imo. You're never allowed to be normal. You always have to enter conversations about family scared you're going to bring the mood down or weird people out by saying you're adopted.
I can't tell you how I feel the atmosphere shift when I mention my adoptee status. It's like a thick wet blanket hangs in the air between myself and others in the conversation.
Some are benignly curious, sure. Others follow it up with discriminatory language, like "real mum and dad" or demanding to know your literal life story. Most of the time, I preemptively put all my cards on the table, so no-one asks the inevitable.
It plays out just like my oppression for being queer. Or disabled/neurodivergent. Yet it receives little to no attention in the public sphere. There isn't even a name for it.
How it feels to be mutuals with someone for over a year
Hey…. Hey… Characters covered in blood, okay? You remember characters covered in blood?? You used to love characters covered in blood

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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If someone wants to beat the absolute shit out of me today, I think I’d be fine
every day im like ok im going to practice radical acceptance and then im like wait i literally can not accept this
time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out
btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here
We have so little time

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omg if i was an oracle i would be LYYYYYINGGGG
I think one of the gentlest things in the world is when a friend just gets your weird little brain. like you say half a sentence and they finish it. you reference something incredibly niche from seven years ago and they’re already nodding. they understand your strange vocabulary for emotions that don’t have real words yet. it’s being seen and known and still loved. maybe especially because you’re known. god. what a gift.
*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god
so, we're all doomed cursed blood drunk and dead inside with violent toughts
i feels like there’s something missing in me that the rest of the world has and it’s not fair

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fuck i just remembered i’m fundamentally unlovable
having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved