howdy! i'm left-side-up, or basil! i'm a writer whose current hyperfixations are hermitcraft, the life series, and the vampires smp. i'll mainly be posting my shorter stories here, but i have plans for multi-chapter fics that can be found on my ao3 account, rightsidedown.
general things:
–i will gladly answer asks about my writing, headcanons, etc.
–i will never be writing or interacting with anything nsfw.
-no rpf please and thank you
-i'm not using ai, so i'd like it if no one used my works for ai either.
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sometimes i think about the castlevania anime, about lisa on the pyre, and although she's burning alive she calls to her husband dracula, begging him not to blame the people that did this to her, begging him not to hurt them.
and then i think about the vampires smp.
i imagine louis on the pyre, the flames creeping up the wood. and i imagine owen, shoving through the crowd of jeering townsfolk, yelling for his beloved, catching louis' eye. and i imagine louis doing the same- calling to owen, telling him the townsfolk don't understand what they're doing, begging him not to hurt them.
of course, in both situations, neither dracula or owen listen.
Avid tries to shake the notion at first. He feels eyes on him, hears the pitter patter of swift footsteps, finds things going missing, and tries to ignore it because this is the kind of thing that used to drive people away. He'd get paranoid, they'd get scared or annoyed, it would turn out that whatever he was worried about was something minuscule, and he'd be alone. Elle was the only one who stayed, but he could tell that even her infinite patience would run thin sometimes. She'd never say so, but he could tell.
He tries not to think about it. Nothing is there. Nothing is watching him. Everything is fine.
The wound beneath his bandages stings a little more.
Shelby can tell something is wrong with him. She tries distracting him, keeping him company, but it doesn't help much. Especially when Avid tries to ignore a thump from the walls, and Shelby's head turns towards the noise.
She can hear it too.
It's not real. It can't be real.
It all comes to a head when Avid is lying awake in the middle of the night, unable to rest even in the cozy room he and Shelby built together because there is something moving in the walls. He needs to keep it together. He won't make her leave him. He won't-
Thump.
Keep it together. His wounds burn.
Keep it-
THUD!
He jumps out of bed and darts into the greenhouse.
"Shelby!"
She's not here. Oh god, she's not here!
"SHELBY!"
He dashes outside and runs into a shadowy figure. Both of them topple to the ground. He hears the figure yelp in a familiar tone-
"Shelby! Oh my god you've gotta help there's noises in the walls somethingswatchingus-"
"Hey, hey! Avid!"
Shelby sits up and supports Avid as he does the same. He's trembling, he realizes. The chill of her hands grabbing his starts anchoring him to reality.
"Avid, breathe. What happened?"
"I keep hearing noises in the walls! I think something's been watching us!"
"Watching us?" Shelby frowns.
"Please, believe me- I've tried to ignore it, but I know something's there, Shelby!"
"Hey, it's okay. I believe you. Breathe, Avid, I believe you."
There's something wet on his face. Is he crying? He focuses on the cold of Shelby's hands and tries following her breathing.
"I- I swear it's real," he says shakily.
"I know. You wouldn't be so scared if it wasn't."
She seems to genuinely believe him. He... wasn't expecting that.
Once he's breathing somewhat steadily, Shelby helps him to his feet and heads towards his room.
"Are the lights off in there?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Wanna come with me or stay here?"
Don't leave her alone! What if it gets her?!
"I-I'll come with you."
She keeps a hold of his hand as she opens the door and steps into the dark room.
He really loves this place. It's almost big enough to be his own house- he's got a bed, a bookshelf, a fireplace, a table that he's been using for research and potion brewing. There's a green rug that matches the mossy carpet in the greenhouse, and curtains framing the windows so Shelby can come in during the day.
He hopes they can find out what's been bothering him and get rid of it. He doesn't want to lose this safe space.
Shelby scans the room, then begins looking around in the smaller nooks and crannies. Avid feels like a child again, standing by the door as his mother checks under the bed for monsters. It's a little embarrassing.
"Huh."
"What? What is it?"
"There's a little hole in the wall. I think maybe a little critter decided to make its home here."
Avid crouches down where Shelby is. It takes a bit of squinting, but he's able to see what she's talking about. A hole, only a few inches wide, is burrowed in the baseboard. He feels the edges- they're rough and uneven, like a rodent chewed their way in.
"...So it's just a mouse or something?"
"Probably."
Heat creeps up to his face. Of course it was something stupid like a mouse. Now if something serious happens, Shelby will never believe him.
"Sorry for freaking out..." he mutters, picking at the skin around his nails.
"Don't apologize for being afraid," she responds, taking his hand again. "Hey, at least I know that if there is something after us, you'll know before it can get us!"
He smiles weakly.
"...Do you think you'll be able to go back to sleep?"
"...No."
"Want to come weed the garden with me?"
"Yes please."
~~~~~~
"Dang it..."
Owen stares down at the apple he dropped. It was already a pain to carry in the first place, he's not sure if he'll be able to get it back to his hideout now...
It was a good one too. Red, shiny, no hint of any scuffs or brown spots. Big enough to hold him over for a while, but just small enough for him to be able to carry it.
Well. It's gone now, unless he goes all the way down to retrieve it. Even then, would he be able to climb back up with it?
Maybe he can cut it up into smaller pieces or something. Before he can plan any further, he hears a voice echo through the walls.
"Huh..... There's a little hole in the wall."
He freezes. That's the voice of the shadowy human.
"I think maybe a little critter decided to make its home here."
Oh no. They know about him now. It won't be long before they're setting up traps, trying to catch him and kill him and throw his body out with next week's garbage.
"...So it's just a mouse or something?"
The other human, the one with the bandages. A flicker of annoyance flashes through him- I'm a rat, not a stupid mouse- and then he's recalling all the potions and tools on this human's desk.
What if they don't kill him? What if they do something worse?
He scurries back to his hideout as quietly as possible. He can worry about food later. For now, he needs to lie low, and avoid the humans at all costs.
~~~~~~
"Shelby!"
To Shelby's relief, Avid's not panicked as he runs up to her this time. He's got something tucked behind his back, and he has a big smile on his face.
She smiles back, taking a step away from the glowberries she was harvesting and setting down her basket.
"Hey Avid!"
"I have something for you," he says, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He reveals an umbrella from behind his back, presenting it to her happily.
"Oh, wow!"
She takes it gingerly. The canopy is a pretty, soft shade of yellow.
"It's a parasol. So you can go outside in the daytime! I made it bigger than it would usually be, and it's pretty thick so it can block out more light."
"You made this?"
"Yeah. Do you like it?"
She grins and holds it close to her chest.
"I love it, Avid! Why don't we try it out? Go for a walk?"
"Yeah! Let's go!"
He dashes to the door. Shelby laughs as she follows after him, ready to open the parasol. They step outside together, and...
Well, Shelby's still blinded. She wasn't expecting not to be. But she has a much better range of vision than she normally does, so she'll count that as a win.
She still allows Avid to take her hand as they walk, partially because having a guide is nice, and mostly because she thinks the reassurance of physical contact comforts him a lot. The outside, as far as she can sense it, is nice today. The wind pushes her hair out of her face, wildflowers dance as she brushes past them, and birds sing cheerfully.
Avid is free of the eye bags that have plagued him the past few nights. With the vision the parasol grants her, she can now notice the way he brushes his hand against the grass as he passes it, the way he looks back at her every few minutes as if checking to make sure she's still there.
Memories of the other night flash in her head.
"Hey, I was wondering what you wanted to do about our little visitor."
"Oh, the mouse?"
"Yeah."
Avid frowns.
"Well, I don't know. Now that I know where the noise is coming from it's not keeping me up as much. But if it stays long enough, it'll probably invite more mice into the walls."
"It could be like the fairytales!" Shelby grins.
"The fairytales?"
"Yeah! It'll be like we're the princesses and the little mice are our animal companions!"
"I don't think mice are actually able to talk, Shelby."
"You're crushing my dreams."
Avid chuckles, exasperated. Shelby pouts.
"We can let the mouse stay for now. But if more start coming..."
"Yeah," she sighs. "I just don't wanna hurt them. If we have to kick them out, no killing."
"I don't wanna hurt them either," he agrees.
They continue on their way, stopping occasionally for plant cuttings or medicinal herbs. Avid's started keeping those around just in case, since he says potion ingredients are hard to find here. One of them could brave the town about two days to the west, but it's something they haven't needed to do yet- and something Shelby would rather steer clear of, anyways. It's a human settlement, and they tend to be... skeptical.
Eventually, when the sun starts setting and twilight envelops the world, they head back. By the time they reach the greenhouse Avid is stifling yawns. She tells his to hand over his basket and go to bed, and he does so without complaining.
Once he's gone, she sets her things aside and begins packing their things away into chests.
"...Huh."
She could have sworn the latch on this chest was broken just before she left.
~~~~~~
Owen is a tinkerer at heart. Even though he knows the humans are dangerous, he can't help himself if he finds something broken.
In this house, it's hard to get around the humans. One of them is awake during the day, like he's used to, but the other one is awake all of the time. Luckily, they seem to like their outside time, and Owen's free to explore then. It means his sleep schedule is a little messy, but that's okay.
Today, he ventures into the part of the house that's made of glass. As soon as he finds his way in, he feels a pang of sadness- it's full of plants and flowers, things that will die so quickly. Nonetheless, he needs food, so he keeps going.
The chests are located near the back of the building. One of them smells of the earth and metals, so he leaves it be. The next one just smells like sawdust. The final one has what he's looking for- food.
He's about to nibble his way in through the back of the chest, and then he notices the latch has snapped off. Hm. It must be a real pain, for the food chest of all things to be unable to close properly. It can't hurt if he takes some time to...
One repaired latch and a bag full of food later, he scurries back to the walls. It's a smooth trip this time, with no falling or dropping things or humans finding his hideout!
He hears them coming home as soon as he's back in his room. He sighs in relief. Right on time.
Owen grabs a crumb of bread from his bag, then settles down on the tissues and scraps of fabric that make up his bed. As he eats, he daydreams of home and his family, and wonders if he'll ever find them again.
~~~~~~
Avid sits at his desk, journal opened to an empty page and a quill in hand. He wouldn't say he's much of a writer, but he is a scientist of sorts, and he's got to record his findings.
Since the mouse made its way into the walls, things have been going missing. Small things, like berries or crackers or spools of thread. Things that haven't been missed so much. And that's all well and normal, but the strange thing is that things also come back.
The sock he misplaced a week ago finds its way to the top of his laundry pile. Shelby's lost spade is spontaneously sitting with the rest of her supplies.
The strangest part of this whole situation, Avid thinks, is the broken things getting fixed. The latch on the chest is reattached, a creaky door hinge is oiled to perfection, a broken link on a necklace is mended. Neither Avid or Shelby have been doing these things, and there's only one other culprit.
But... how crazy is that? A mouse, fixing random household items? Avid nearly scraps the idea entirely.
Then his scientist brain begs him to test his hypothesis further. And then he thinks, well, if vampires are real, why not sentient mice?
So he starts leaving broken things out intentionally, and records his findings in his journal. And it works. Every time he leaves something alone, he comes back to find it working again, sometimes even better than before. The only thing that never gets repaired, curiously enough, is his old pocket watch. Oh well. He'll have to figure that out in his own time.
One day he begins feeling a little bad. The little mouse has been doing a lot for him, and what has he given in return? It feels a little ridiculous, but he leaves some food along with a thank you note on the floor near the mouse hole.
Both of them are gone the next day.
~~~~~~
Thanks for your help! Shelby and I appreciate it a lot.
~Avid
Okay. So. The humans definitely know he's there. And they probably know he's been fixing their things, based on the gift and the note. The food wasn't even poisoned or anything. Could they be nice?
Owen wants nothing more than for them to be nice, but can he take that risk? One wrong move and he's dead. On the other hand, he has nowhere else to go- this place is surrounded by dense forests for miles and miles. It was a nightmare getting here, and he's not sure he could survive the trip back. It's a nice thought, staying here with friendly humans that feed him and don't try trapping him...
He decides to wait and see what happens. If he lays low and observes the two for a while, he might be able to tell what they're going to do.
Owen begins by hiding in the rafters to watch the human with the greyish brown hair- Avid. He's easier to observe because he tends to be awake in the day and frequents the only well lit room of the house.
When Avid is in his room, he mostly reads or writes or messes around with his sciency stuff. Lately, he's been trying to fix his pocket watch (Owen would've done it, but unfortunately he and clocks don't agree with each other) and ultimately doesn't get anywhere. Avid mostly eats in the greenhouse or outside with the shadowy human, Shelby, so Owen doesn't see that part of his routine.
Once, just once, Avid removes the bandages from his neck.
Owen remains as still as a statue when he realizes what's going on. He's never seen Avid without the bandages before.
Avid double checks that the door is locked and starts up the fireplace before he begins. Then he gets some of his medical things together, and slowly removes the bandage.
Owen has to put a paw over his mouth to keep from gasping. There, on Avid's neck, are deep gashes that bleed a terribly dark color.
Avid begins disinfecting the lacerations with the help of a hand mirror, looking for all the world like this is a normal thing. Holy crap, how does he talk without it hurting? How is he alive? Owen feels like he's going to be sick.
He can't run without risking alerting Avid, so he closes his eyes instead and waits for it to be over. As soon as he hears the click of the door he rushes back to the walls.
He stops watching Avid after that.
It's harder to observe Shelby. She frequents the greenhouse, which has very few hiding spots, and she always exists in total darkness- not impossible for Owen to see in, but it's a bit tough. He finds a nice spot on a high shelf that doesn't get used all that often, and waits.
Shelby's often tending to the plants. There are mostly vines and mosses, but she also has a bunch of mushrooms that are thriving in the dim light. She'll also take the time to read, or clumsily try to mend clothes, or draw. Avid comes to hang out in the greenhouse during the day, and the two of them will do chores together or go outside.
The thing about Shelby is that she seems a bit more sensitive to noise than Avid is. Owen can't move from his spot unless she's deeply engrossed in something else, or unless she's completely gone. He finds himself going to bed with aching joints more often than not.
Even then, with how careful he is, she's still somehow able to tell he's there.
"Hello?" she says quietly one day. Owen almost thinks she's calling to Avid, but then-
"Are you there, little mouse?"
Owen's heart falters in his chest.
"...If you are, and you can understand me, then my name's Shelby. My roommate is Avid. And we wanted you to know that you're welcome here."
Owen stays frozen. She's acknowledging him. She knows he's here.
"We're not gonna try trapping you or killing you or anything. And don't worry about taking food, okay?"
Stay still. Stay quiet. Stay hidden.
"And if you ever wanted to be friends, you should let us know!"
Quiet. Hide. Hide. Hide.
"Okay, bye mouse!"
Mercifully, she grabs her umbrella and steps outside. Owen is running for the walls as soon as she's gone.
He doesn't even register her words until he's tucked safely away in his hideout.
"...She said I was welcome here," he says to himself, still catching his breath. As scary as that was, she did basically just tell him that they weren't gonna hurt him.
"How can I trust that?"
Well. They have known about him for a while. And true to Shelby's word, there haven't been any traps or cats or poison. If they wanted to hurt him, wouldn't they have done it by now?
"...She said we could be friends."
She did say that. And Avid's shown signs of being friendly too. Maybe he doesn't have to be so afraid of them.
"...They keep calling me a stupid mouse."
If he gets the courage to talk to them, that's the first thing he'll sort out.
Important moments in the lives of Avid and Shelby.
Read it on Ao3!
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Avid slowly falls into a rhythm.
He sleeps less and less as his injuries heal, and as such, he finds himself bored more often. Shelby presents him with books and puzzles she has lying around, and he takes to reading outside when the sun is up. Sometimes it's a cloudy day, and Shelby is able to join him. Most of the time, she's stuck inside.
Avid doesn't really like leaving her alone in the greenhouse. It feels too much like being young and bound to his bedroom while his parents and siblings walked the town freely (because he was cursed, he was a freak, he shouldn't have to be seen). So he crafts a makeshift lamp out of glow berries, and does the puzzles inside with her. He can't see her face that well, but he thinks it makes her happy.
Sometimes he's still afraid of her. Sometimes, he thinks of the beast that attacked him when he was young, the monster shrouded by shadows that took his life away from him, even if he walked away with his heart beating. Sometimes, as he lays in bed, he struggles to control his breathing.
But then Shelby will bring him a bowl of mushroom soup, or guide him through deep breaths, or snort when she laughs, and Avid can't figure out where the fear came from in the first place.
He feels justified in his fear, after what happened. He feels awful for thinking she would hurt him. He wants to go home, but home is not even there anymore.
Sometimes, Avid feels like a monster.
~~~~~~
Shelby's plants are dead again.
She wilts a little, then begins removing the dead ones from their pots. She can get some new ones tomorrow night- for now, the daylight keeps her from going out.
Can't even keep a flower alive.
Avid is sitting outside right now. He'd asked if she wanted to join him. She doesn't understand why he's being so nice to her. He'd been so scared- she thinks he still is- and yet he's dragging her along for walks, asking her to sit with him, making conversation. He's got a good heart. She doesn't want to break it.
All you do is hurt people.
Shelby bites her lip and forces the thoughts away. They're going in a direction she's been able to avoid for months now.
The front door creaks open. Avid blinks to adjust to the lighting of the greenhouse before stepping further in.
"Hi Avid," she calls, so he doesn't startle when he finally notices her.
"Hey Shelby," he responds. "What are you doing?"
"I'm just getting the dead plants out of their pots."
There's the sound of Avid stumbling around, and then he's sitting next to her.
"What plants were they?"
"There were some lilies of the valley, some orchids, sunflowers..."
"...I think those all need sunlight?"
Shelby pauses, then kicks herself for not realizing sooner.
Of course that's why they're dying. You're such an idiot. Yet another thing you've been hurting just by being yourself. Yet another thing that can't survive in the darkness with you.
It's silly, but... tears spring to her eyes. Shelby tries desperately to keep the noise contained, but Avid is right next to her. Even in the dark, it seems his senses are too keen to let it pass by unnoticed.
"H-hey! There are some plants that might like it better in here! Like- like the glowberry vines, those are doing really well!"
"Everything I touch gets ruined," she whispers.
"Shelby..."
For a minute, nothing happens besides Shelby trying to get her tears under control. Then there's a hand on her shoulder.
"Well... you helped me. That didn't get ruined."
It's only a matter of time.
She stays silent.
"...Have you ever heard of an eyeblossom, Shelby?"
"...No."
"They're supposed to be pretty rare, but I've heard that they close up in the sunlight, and only bloom when it's dark. They've got white petals on the outside, and inside there are orange petals that glow. Maybe one day, we can find one and take care of it here."
You'd find a way to ruin it.
Shelby wipes her eyes again, cringing as dirt gets on her face. She tries picturing the flower in her head.
"...That sounds nice. Are there... do you know about any more plants that like the dark?"
"Yeah! There's spore blossoms too! They live in caves, like glowberry vines, so they don't like sunlight either! They're big, and the petals are pink. I think they hang from the ceiling."
"I think I've heard of those before."
"See? There are things that would really love it in here. And if you still wanted to grow sunflowers and lilies and stuff, you could make a garden outside. I don't think there are rules saying you have to garden in the daytime."
Avid is smiling. It's not the first time since they've met, but it feels different now. Like... like it's more genuine. Happier.
She finds herself smiling back.
"Thank you," she near whispers.
"Of course," he replies just as quietly.
~~~~~~
Avid startles awake from a nightmare. After about ten minutes of scrubbing away his tears and calming himself down, he figures he won't be falling back asleep and decides to venture outside.
It's still dark. The moon is just a crescent in the sky, the stars flicker dimly, and the world seems to be covered in an ethereal glow.
Shelby is there. Sitting in the grass, staring up at the sky. She's shrouded in the darkness that makes up her body, as per usual, but in this lighting Avid thinks he can catch glimpses of her face.
She turns to him, then quietly pats the ground next to her.
It's almost embarrassing, that he's had these nightmares so often that she knows what happened without even asking. But he's too exhausted for self depreciation tonight. So he sits next to her and watches the stars.
It's silent for a very long time. Shelby is fidgeting with a stray piece of grass. Avid wonders if his partner is somewhere amidst those stars.
"I had a friend once. You remind me of him."
Avid pauses, not quite sure how to respond. Shelby sounds almost sad as she continues to fidget with the grass. He doesn't like it when she's sad.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. He was big and strong and he always did his best to protect me."
"That doesn't sound like me at all."
"Heh. You remind me of him in other ways. He was such a sweet guy. He'd pick flowers and give them to me even though we both knew I wouldn't be able to keep them alive. And he was so easily scared. Imagine a six foot guy cowering behind me."
"You think I'm sweet?"
"Mhm."
Before this, they never talked about their pasts. It just... well, it's not like it never came up, but both of them have been all too willing to brush it aside. But she's sharing this now, letting herself be vulnerable, and Avid can't think of anything else to do but be vulnerable himself.
"...You remind me of my friend, too."
"Really?"
"Mhm. She was awesome. She was strong and beautiful and brave, and she was the kindest person I ever met. She always took care of me when my family wouldn't. I miss her."
"...She sounds lovely."
"She was. Your friend sounds nice too."
"He was."
It's quiet again. No more need to share. He'd be content leaving the conversation as it is now, and he thinks she'd be fine with that too. But...
It's scary. But Avid thinks he trusts Shelby.
"...Her name was Elle. She's dead now. It's my fault."
He waits for a question. He waits to explain exactly what happened and reveal that yes, he is a monster. He waits to be shunned by one more person.
"...His name was Joey. Not dead, but I think he hates me. That's definitely my fault."
Oh.
They're almost in the same boat, aren't they? Granted, Avid's got blood on his hands, which makes Shelby a saint in comparison, but... maybe they've both done bad things. And he doesn't hate her for it. Maybe she doesn't hate him either.
"Hey, Shelby?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we be friends?"
"...You wanna be my friend?"
"Of course."
It's quiet for far too long. Avid begins to worry he said something wrong. Maybe she does hate him. Maybe she doesn't want him here. He couldn't blame her for it.
"...Okay. I wanna be your friend, too."
Shelby continues to gaze up at the stars, but she leans a little closer to him now. He thinks he can see her smiling, in the dim light of the moon.
Avid promises to protect her, if only in his head for now.
~~~~~~
Shelby has been gathering materials the past few days- wood, stone, sand- and she thinks she finally has enough to get started on her project. Avid has been curiously eyeing the growing pile, asking if she needs any help gathering things, but she's kept quiet up until now. Partially wanting this to be a surprise, but also nervously anticipating his reaction.
All your friends left you. You made them hate you. Why would he want to stay? He says you're his friend, are you sure he's telling the truth? He's probably just saying that because he's scared of you.
No. He's the one who asked her, she reminds herself. And since then he's barely left her side.
Shelby knows something terrible must have happened to him. He's terrified of every little bump in the night, not to mention the wounds in his shoulder. He told her that his one and only friend is dead, for goodness sake. And whatever happened, he thinks it's his fault.
She has no idea if he has anywhere to go. She thinks he probably doesn't, seeing as his shoulder has been healed for weeks now and he still hasn't left. Not that she wants him to.
So... she wants to give him a home. Somewhere he can feel safe. Somewhere he can always come back to, even if he does decide to leave one day.
Shelby brings him outside one day, and he guides her to the shade of a large oak tree before they sit down. She can tell her anxiety is rubbing off on him, so she gets straight to the point.
"I was thinking... and you don't have to if you don't want to! But I've been gathering the things to build a room for you. And I was going to make it with windows that aren't tinted, and maybe add a little fireplace, and anything else you wanted. So maybe... you could stay as long as you wanted."
Avid stares at her with wide eyes.
"Wait- really? You- you actually want me to stay?"
"Yeah! If you want to, you're welcome here."
"I- oh wow, Shelby! I- I can't believe you-"
He stumbles over his words for a while longer, before giving up and pulling her into a hug.
Shelby freezes. It's been so long since anyone's hugged her. Does she even remember how to accept the affection? How to hug back?
Slowly, she wraps her arms around Avid in return. He's warm.
"Yes! I want to stay!"
"I'm glad," she whispers, leaning into the touch.
They hug for a long time before breaking apart to plan for the construction. They're both still a little afraid. Both a little broken. But they're not alone in the world anymore. Maybe, they won't have to be ever again.
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do you guys remember shelby's afterlife smp? remember her first origin, when she was a shadow? remember how she was blind in the daylight so she could basically only do things at night? and the rest of the server started resenting her for it, because they wanted to sleep through the night but shelby desperately needed that time in order to be able to do anything?
remember how their resentment made her resentful too? how one by one, all of her friends shunned her, and she formed a group of "villains," but eventually even the villains rejected her because she felt too bad about the things they were doing? remember how joey, her only friend in the world, told her they couldn't be friends anymore unless she stopped being a shadow?
i remember. and i've been thinking too hard about her and vampires avid.
avid, who had just lost his dearest friend just days before arriving at oakhurst, who was attacked and cursed as a child, who was alone and terrified and had very good reason to be terrified. avid, who everyone wrote off as paranoid. avid, who people purposefully messed with to get a reaction out of him, because they didn't realize or care about how scared he truly was.
they're both alone. they both lost everything and everyone. they're both just trying to survive. they both have stories that say something about the way people with disabilities tend to be treated.
Nestled deep in the woods, there is a greenhouse made of tinted glass. This is the story of the people who settle there, and the home they build within.
(Or: I make a crossover between five different SMP's and make them all a found family to cope with the end of Vampires.)
Read it on Ao3!
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@beeisnotdead, thanks for taking an interest in my idea :)
Nobody back home believed in the supernatural, save for Avid and Elle. That's part of the reason why their work was so important- nobody else was gonna protect the town from the horrors just out of sight. The hours of research, working late into the night, waiting anxiously for Elle to come home safe... it was worth it, despite knowing they'd never get appreciation. They were doing a good thing.
Until the day she came home, but she wasn't safe. Until the day Avid turned his back to her and sharp claws were ripping into his shoulders. Until the day she drew his blood with a feral look in her eyes, either unwilling or unable to listen to his pleas, drawing closer and closer, baring her fangs for the final blow-
Then grasping at the stake in her chest, still hissing and spitting until she had no more breath to give.
There wasn't time for mourning. The townsfolk didn't believe in the supernatural, and if they had found him in that room, they would hang him before the next sunrise. So he'd hurriedly packed a bag and fled, his partner's crossbow on his back, the bloody stake still grasped in trembling hands.
Had there been more time, Avid would have came to a conclusion that would alter his life forever, set him walking the path to a town with the answers (and the vengeance) he so desperately craved. But here, fleeing from his sins, terror and guilt and grief clouding his mind, he has no plan other than to survive.
Hours into Avid's flight, there is an abandoned greenhouse, the glass so dirty he can barely see through it. The plants inside are on their way to death, save for some glowberry vines that seem to be thriving in the dim light. Avid can't find anyone inside, and the door is pretty sturdy, so...
(He doesn't notice the chests. Or the trapdoor that leads to a basement. Or the half full watering can, or the footprints in the mossy carpet.)
He piles up some moss to make a pillow for himself on the ground, and lays down for the first time in hours. When he fled, the moon was high in the sky, but now the first rays of sunlight are peeking over the horizon. Avid's shoulders sting from where her claws had dug into his flesh, and his whole body feels sore from... everything.
It's not fair.
He begins to cry for the millionth time that night, but sleep takes him before many tears can fall.
It's not fair.
~~~~~~
Shelby sighs in relief when her fingers finally wrap around the handle to her front door.
She'd been out too late, or too early depending on how you look at it. The sun caught up to her before she could get back to the greenhouse, leaving her to blindly stumble the rest of the way home- and even when she found it, she took an extra ten minutes just locating the door!
She almost finds herself wishing for someone to guide her, before the thought turns bitter and she angrily shoves it far, far away.
You don't have any friends.
Once she's inside and the door is firmly shut behind her, she takes a moment to relish in her restored vision. The tinted glass had been a great idea, although it was a pain to collect. She frowns when she sees that her plants are dying again.
You can't do anything right.
It's okay. She can find some more. Try again. For now though, she just wants to sleep.
Except, something catches her eye on her way to the basement. Someone.
Shelby covers her mouth to keep from screaming. There's a stranger asleep on her carpet!
What does she do? She has a sword on her, but she admittedly doesn't know how to use it very well. And all she can do with her stupid shadow powers is teleport! Barely a way of defending herself, nobody to call to come and save her...
Shelby draws her sword and shakily steps closer to the sleeping stranger.
Her stomach drops when she sees the blood soaking his clothes. There's a crossbow laying right next to him, too! Once she's feeling brave enough to take a closer look, she stops in her tracks.
There are puncture wounds in his shoulders, evenly spaced apart and dyeing what once must have been a white shirt red. Luckily, it doesn't look like they're actively bleeding, but...
She lowers her sword a little. This guy is badly hurt. What if he was attacked in the woods and just wanted to find shelter? She should help him.
You're only going to hurt him worse.
She... she should help him.
Your "help" is worthless.
She doesn't want him to die.
He's gonna end up hurting you. And you'll deserve it.
"...But I can't leave a person who's hurt," she whispers, holding onto whatever shred of humanity she has left.
Even if he hurts her. Wouldn't it make her bad if she let him die?
Isn't she bad enough as it is?
"No," she says to herself. "I can't let him die."
She drops her sword and rushes to find her medical supplies.
~~~~~~
When Avid wakes, his shoulder is throbbing. He opens his eyes to darkness- was he only out for a couple of hours or something? He figured he'd sleep through the night at least...
"Hey, there."
A shriek of terror tears its way out of him, and as he tries to get up the pain makes him fall right back down. He can just barely make out the outline of a person in the near-darkness.
With the stress of the whole situation, he can feel the scratches on his neck flare up. Now is not the time...
"My name is Shelby, you were kind of passed out on my floor when I got home."
Oh. Oh, no. He accidentally trespassed.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't think anyone lived here-"
"No, you were hurt. I don't blame you for finding shelter. I hope you don't mind that I patched you up, you looked really close to bleeding out."
Avid feels for the wound she left behind, and finds new bandages underneath his shirt. He feels a surge of panic as he reaches for the bandages at his neck, but no- those went untouched.
"...Thank you for helping me. Again, I'm really sorry I trespassed. My name is Avid."
"Don't worry, really. I just ask that you stay for a few days while you heal? If you went out and got attacked by a monster or something, I don't think you'd make it to the next town."
"That... that sounds good. Thank you so much."
"Of course! Let me see if I can find something for us to eat, you must be hungry!"
Shelby recedes into the shadows, and her footsteps are followed by the opening and closing of a door. Avid sighs and does his best to survey his surroundings.
Greenhouse. Right. He squints his eyes to try adjusting to the lighting better. The glowberry vines don't help nearly as much as he thought they would have. There's a long table in the center of the room, with pots of dying plants lined up on top. He's been moved to a real bed rather than the floor. The sheets are soft and cozy. Something faintly smells of blueberries.
He tries sitting up again, but quickly admits defeat as pain spikes and spreads through him. He's lucky he stumbled into the home of someone so kind as Shelby.
"Hey! I've got some soup!"
Speaking of which, she enters the room again with a brightness to her voice.
...She reminds him of someone.
~~~~~~
The days pass. Shelby brings Avid food and treats his wounds, carefully dodging questions about her past- which isn't too hard, seeing as Avid seems to steer clear of his own story, and understands the unspoken boundaries. Instead, they broach lighter topics. What's your favorite flower? How did you learn to cook? Have you ever been outside the country?
He's nice. Clearly shaken up about something, but that's to be expected after he came to her on death's door. He's sweet in a way that reminds her of someone.
Nobody likes you.
She wishes he could stay and be her friend. She knows it's impossible. Still, they talk and they bond and she gets attached all too quickly.
The peace doesn't last. Soon enough, Avid broaches a topic that makes her heart fill with dread.
"Why's it so dark in here?"
She'd nearly forgotten. Avid is human. Of course he wouldn't be able to see in here.
"I thought I was just waking up at nighttime, but I can see the sun through the glass- it's tinted, isn't it? So I was just wondering," he says oh so innocently. Trusting. Naive.
He's going to hate you.
"I- um... I need it to be dark so I can see."
Avid goes still.
You saw the stake and the crossbow. You know what he does for a living.
She was hoping that wouldn't be relevant.
"The- the sun hurts my eyes a lot. So, um..."
You're digging your own grave! Stop it!
"You- you're not a..."
He's shaking. She squeezes her eyes shut and prepares herself for the worst.
Monster!
"Vampire!"
"I- what? I'm not a vampire?"
"...Oh."
The air is horribly still. Then-
"Werewolf?"
"No, not quite."
"Zombie?"
"I'm not a zombie!"
"Wait, so why...?"
Shelby grimaces. She might be worse than all of those things combined.
"I'm sort of a... shadow person, I guess? I haven't met anyone else like me."
"Shadow person?"
The unease is back full force.
Monster.
"Yeah, basically I used to be human but then I got trapped in the void for... a very long time. And when I was rescued, my body was kind of... smokey? Almost like if a shadow was solid."
"You don't... drink blood or anything?"
"Ew, no!"
"You don't, I don't know, bite and/or scratch people to turn them into shadow people too?"
"No? Uh... I can teleport a little, and I don't need to sleep. But that's it."
"Oh."
She's still waiting for the ball to drop. Her heart is racing.
Monster.
"...I'm sorry. I'm being kind of rude, huh?"
"...What?"
Avid is frowning, but he doesn't seem to be so afraid anymore.
"I'm just- a lot has happened, and I'm really scared, but I shouldn't have judged you like that. You've only been kind to me. You- you shouldn't have to deal with me."
Shelby blinks. This isn't real, is it?
You aren't good. You aren't kind. You're a-
"I'm really sorry," Avid repeats, looking down at his hands, tears in his eyes.
Tears?
"Oh- hey, no, it's okay! You don't have to cry!"
"I'm sorry," he sobs through clenched teeth. "I keep hurting people. I- I'm the one who- god, I'm the real monster here, aren't I?"
Suddenly, she's shown a mirror of herself. And as much as she hates herself, she can't find it in her heart to hate Avid.
"Hey, hey, no. I forgive you. Don't be so hard on yourself."
He only shakes his head and presses his hands against his face.
Shelby is at a loss. She has no idea what to do now- if he's still afraid of her, he's at least remorseful? And he doesn't seem like he wants to hurt her. And he's slowly falling into a spiral.
She sees a mirror, and she knows what she'd want someone to do for her.
"...Hey. I'm sorry I forgot it's been dark for you this whole time. Why don't I help you outside so you can see the sun?"
Avid sniffs and wipes his face. He looks at her- or at least, in her direction- with wide, violet eyes.
Slowly, she guides him to his feet and towards the door, where she prepares herself before opening it. Immediately, she feels the sun trying to eat away at her, and her world goes dark- but Avid is still going, so she follows close in case he needs help.
He takes a few deep breaths, shoulders still shaking slightly. He hasn't stopped crying, even though it's slowed a bit by now. He reminds her of someone.
And then Avid turns to face her.
She can't see his face that well, but she sees the moment he realizes she's basically blind. His hands jolt and then he's reaching for her, despite being so afraid not ten minutes ago.
"Oh my god, how did I forget- now you can't see!"
"It's okay, I'm used to it."
"Are you sure? The sun isn't hurting you, is it?"
"I'm just a little weaker, that's all. I'm fine, promise."
Shelby hears Avid huff- frustrated? Is he upset? Then he takes one of her hands in his own.
do you guys remember shelby's afterlife smp? remember her first origin, when she was a shadow? remember how she was blind in the daylight so she could basically only do things at night? and the rest of the server started resenting her for it, because they wanted to sleep through the night but shelby desperately needed that time in order to be able to do anything?
remember how their resentment made her resentful too? how one by one, all of her friends shunned her, and she formed a group of "villains," but eventually even the villains rejected her because she felt too bad about the things they were doing? remember how joey, her only friend in the world, told her they couldn't be friends anymore unless she stopped being a shadow?
i remember. and i've been thinking too hard about her and vampires avid.
avid, who had just lost his dearest friend just days before arriving at oakhurst, who was attacked and cursed as a child, who was alone and terrified and had very good reason to be terrified. avid, who everyone wrote off as paranoid. avid, who people purposefully messed with to get a reaction out of him, because they didn't realize or care about how scared he truly was.
they're both alone. they both lost everything and everyone. they're both just trying to survive. they both have stories that say something about the way people with disabilities tend to be treated.
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Drift and Shelby, in the wake of everything that's happened.
(Beware Vampires SMP spoilers! Go watch episode 7 before reading this. This is a follow up to Hiraeth, but it can be read as a stand alone, as both are canon-compliant.)
Drift opens the door after knocking several times. She'd usually be a bit more respectful of boundaries, but this week's events have her on edge, and she's a little scared that she might open the door to find another dead friend.
"Shelby?"
But she's there. Alive. Well, as alive as they can be. She's clearly been crying for a while, lying motionless in her bed aside from the staggered sobs. Their frizzy hair cascades across the pillows, and the sheets are drawn to cover her face.
Drift forces down some tears of her own. Now is not the time.
She warily walks up to the bed. She's not sure if Shelby is ignoring her or just unaware of her surroundings.
"Shelby, can you hear me?"
Slowly, she places a hand on top of the sheets. She backs off when she feels a flinch.
Shelby lowers the blankets from her face, eyebrows furrowed until she sees that it's only Drift. Then they put a smile on their tear streaked face.
"Hey! What are you doing here?"
Their forced cheer is like a stake to the heart. Drift frowns.
"It's okay, Shelby. You don't have to smile right now."
They hold out for about five seconds more before dropping the act. Their ruby eyes seem to grow a shade darker, and the smile crumbles away like dust in the wind.
Shelby makes room on the bed for Drift to sit, and once she's settled they put their head on her lap. Though they've never been this close before, it feels natural. Like a song and dance rehearsed several times over.
"Shelby, I..."
What is there to say? Nothing will fix what's been done. Nothing will soothe the aches, mend the wounds. Nothing will bring him back.
She starts running her fingers through Shelby's hair. They lean into the touch as the tears continue to make a permanent home on her face. As devastating as today was, this... it feels peaceful right now. A break from feeling like death is coming for her at any second. She closes her eyes and breathes. It makes her feel better despite not really needing air in her lungs anymore.
In the midst of her reprieve, it occurs to her that this could be the very last time she gets a moment like this with Shelby. It could be the last time she gets to rest at all. This moment she's living through right now will never happen again.
Despite her best efforts, Drift starts crying too.
Come back. Come back to me.
Shelby takes one of her hands and laces their fingers together.
"I know," she says, the first time she's spoken since Drift found her here. "I know."
"Stay with me. Don't leave me too," she cries. "Please. Please."
"I won't," Shelby says, and they both know she can't possibly promise that. But they don't say another word as they cry together.
They're there for a long time. Without the sun peeking through a window, Drift can't say what time it is. She recalls the way she used to wake up with the sun in her eyes and an excited voice echoing all the way to her room. Now, she doesn't even need to sleep- couldn't if she tried. Sleep used to be vital for keeping him calm. He was always so afraid.
Liability.
Anger festers in the pit of her chest. It's vile and thick and she hates it but at the same time she can't forget or forgive, never, never, never-
Her stomach rumbles. She's sure if her body could still circulate blood like normal it would flood to her cheeks.
"Here," Shelby says, offering her wrist to her.
"Are you sure? You're still stuck at stage one-"
"It's okay. Resting is making it better."
Drift hesitates only a moment more before taking the offered wrist. At first it's like normal, and it occurs to her that Sausage was right, it does kind of taste like blueberries, and only then does she remember that taking someone's blood always comes with memories.
It's too late to pull away by the time she realizes though, and she's cursing herself as-
As Pyro comes out of bat form, Shelby is filled with relief. One of her coven is okay! When his eyes fall on her he smiles as he always does, but something about this time feels wrong-
As her dear friend speaks, tears stream down his cheeks, and he's terrible at hiding them. Shelby reaches out, longing to hold his hand like before, worried for him, whatever happened to him is her fault-
As Shelby turns to look at him, he picks at the skin around his nails. The ruby red eyes that have been manic since he went up to level two... they're sad now. Almost anxious. Almost the way they looked before-
As Shelby sets eyes upon the newcomer, she can tell they're like each other. Though this guys seems more paranoid than curious. She thinks they might make good friends anyways. They reach a hand out and say hello-
It all sets in, heavy on her shoulders. She tries not to give away the things she just saw and lets go of Shelby's wrist.
"...When we're ready to go, we should stock up on some more food for you. We've gotta be really careful for now, right?"
"Right. And after we burn everything to the ground, we'll need food for the journey out of here."
"Yeah. I think... let's rest a little bit longer before we go, okay?"
"Okay."
He... Avid was so terrified of everything. Honestly, Drift is too. As a human, there was the threat of being drained of her blood, and as a vampire, there's the threat of someone staking her through the heart. And now that threat isn't even limited to humans.
She gets it now. She's so, so scared, just like Avid was. She doesn't want this to be her last time holding Shelby's hand. She doesn't want this to be her last day walking the Earth.
But if it is the last time, if it is her last day, she doesn't want to spend it miserable and afraid.
So Drift clings to her friend's hand even tighter. And she breathes in the stale air like she's standing in the warm sunlight rather than a dank crypt. And she closes her eyes, and she dreams of tomorrow.
Xisuma holds onto something that no one else does anymore.
Xisuma and his brother were all each other had, once upon a time. Voidwalkers aren't exactly a nurturing race- once the child is grown enough to take care of themselves, they're on their own. But Ex loved his little brother Xisuma, and so even when their parents disappeared, they stayed together.
Xisuma vividly remembers holding Ex's hand as they traversed the desolate wastes of the End City ruins. Scavenging for chorus fruits to eat, scraps of fabric to bandage wounds, stone to make weapons. Huddling close together as they slept, because they were made for the cold of the void, but they were still vulnerable to freezing in their young age. Crouching behind rubble at any signs of endermen, terrified of the creatures that cost Ex an arm and gave Xisuma the crossed scars on his face.
The thing he clings to most is the memory of his brother singing to him as he fell asleep.
There's no proper day cycle in the End, so they would just sleep whenever they found somewhere safe enough to do so. They'd hide away in whatever nook they could find, and Ex would pull Xisuma onto his lap and wrap a raggedy blanket around the two of them, and then he would sing. The lullaby, a song their mother would sing to them a long, long time ago, was different in his brother's voice, but he appreciated it nonetheless. Eventually it got to the point where he couldn't fall asleep without it.
There was one particular time, where Ex fell ill and wasn't able to move for a few days. It was up to Xisuma to scavenge for food and manage his brother's fever, all while keeping the endermen away from their makeshift shelter. He can't remember most of it now, but he does recall sitting with Ex's head in his lap, singing the lullaby as quietly as he could, scared of the monsters but still longing to comfort his brother.
As separated from his people and culture as he is, he doesn't remember the name of the language their song is written in. But he knows all of the words by heart. And he knows how soft his brother's voice would get when he sang it. And he knows the comfort it brought him in that cold place.
"Suma?"
The quiet, raspy word breaks him from his reminiscing. Right. He's not there anymore, and he has people to take care of now.
Wels is the latest victim of the cold that's been making its rounds across the server, and it's hitting him hard. Xisuma is staying with him until his fever goes away.
He takes a breath to ground himself, and makes his way to Wels' side.
"Hey there, friend. How're you doing?"
It's strange to see Wels without his armor. All he's wearing is a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, far more vulnerable than he would ever let himself be under normal circumstances. His sky blue eyes are cloudy, his dirty blond hair sticks to his forehead, and his face is flushed and red.
He didn't want anyone looking after him in the first place, stubborn and paranoid as he is. When he finally relented, he gave the condition that he'd only let Xisuma, Hypno, or Jevin in- and with Hypno off server for a while and Jevin looking after a sick xB, there had only been one person left.
"You were spacing out," Wels says, ever the observant one.
"I'm okay. Just thinking."
"Right."
"Come on Wels, I'm supposed to be looking after you," Xisuma sighs jokingly. Wels cracks a smile.
"Someone's gotta make sure you don't get lost in your head."
That's fair. This is far from the first time someone's had to pull him back to reality. It gets hard sometimes, holding onto the world while his memories are dragging him down.
Nonetheless, he's here now, and he's taking care of his friend.
"I appreciate it, Wels. But you've gotta focus on getting better for now."
Xisuma starts making a mental list of what's been done since he arrived here- medicine, water, temperature checked. Wels hadn't been feeling good enough to eat, so they left that step out. All that's left is-
"You should get some rest, my friend."
Wels' eyes grow stormy at the suggestion.
"...I think I'm okay."
"Your body needs the sleep-"
"I know, I just..."
Xisuma sits down at Wels' side and places a hand on his shoulder. The knight leans into the touch with a miserable air about him.
"I'm scared," he admits quietly.
Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. At this point, that fear is years old, and Wels is slowly recovering, but he still gets anxious about it when he's stressed.
"I'll be right here the whole time," Xisuma promises, squeezing his shoulder gently. "And I'll wake you up when you need to take your medicine, so you won't be out for very long anyways."
"What if you can't wake me?"
"Then I'll stay here until I can. No one's going anywhere, Wels. Promise."
"Okay..."
He looks defeated. Exhausted, but still terrified. Xisuma draws him into a side hug, humming thoughtlessly as he tries to think of a solution.
He sees Wels, shaky and withdrawn.
Then he sees Ex, huddled under as many blankets as they could find, flushed with fever.
Then almost without thinking, he's singing.
The images of Wels and Ex clash in his head. These words coming from his mouth, no one else understands them. The melody from his soul, no one else knows it. He sings the lullaby he shared with his brother, the song that meant comfort, hope, joy, family, and he feels nothing but grief. Xisuma holds this song, and it's Xisuma alone.
Ex holds his hand to guide him through the dark.
Ex ruffles his hair with a teasing grin.
Ex offers him the last of their rations without taking any for himself.
Ex holds him tight as they drift off to sleep.
Wels sets his head on his shoulder, and finally closes his eyes.
~~~~~~
Hours, days, weeks later, once Wels is fully recovered and they've both spent some time fully engrossed in their own projects, Xisuma is back to visit and have lunch together.
X is sitting at the table, Wels having refused to let him into the kitchen- you're the guest Xisuma, let me cook- and amongst the clanking of pans, the footsteps going back and forth, and the sizzling of something on the stove, X can barely make out Wels humming a familiar tune.
The ache in Xisuma's heart eases ever so slightly.
Shelby finds Avid as bloodshed looms on the horizon.
(Beware Vampires SMP spoilers! Go watch episode 6 before reading this.)
Avid is sitting on the floor of the crypt, whispering to himself.
Shelby didn't mean to sneak up on him, he just hasn't realized she's here yet. Too absorbed in... whatever's going on. It's scary, how fast he changed. His sudden resentment of his human friends, his welcoming attitude towards the thirst for blood he so despised just hours ago. The ruby red eyes and the ashy skin, too... not that it wouldn't have happened eventually, but as far as she knows, stage two vampires don't usually see that much change so quickly.
She's still kind of mad at him, for making her hurt him. But they were friends, back when they were both human, and she still wants to consider him a friend now. And they're worried about him.
With a quick prayer that no one else is lurking nearby, they step closer towards Avid.
His nails dig into his arms as his eyes snap up to meet hers, before relaxing just a hair when recognition sets in.
"Oh! Hey, Shelby!"
At least his eagerness is still the same. She smiles at him as they step closer, sitting on the dirty floor next to him.
"Hi Avid! How are you feeling?"
"Oh, I'm great! I'm just brainstorming the best ways to get those townsfolk out of the way."
Shelby tries to hide their wince.
I don't want to hurt them.
"About that... aren't they- weren't they your friends?"
Avid's near-manic grin falters.
"Well, yeah... but that was before I realized how little they actually care. I mean, sure, they wanted to cure me, but that would mean killing you! And if they don't find the cure? What then?"
He frowns for a moment, then puts on that smile again, showing his newly sharp teeth.
"Besides, don't you think it'd be at least a little fun?"
No. They were kind to me, once.
Shelby hesitates too long. Avid's face falls again- he's noticed.
"Shelby? Don't you?"
"I just... I'd fight them if they attacked first, but... I don't want to hurt anyone. Not really."
"They- they've wronged you though!"
"You have too," she mumbles, glaring down at her shoes. It's silent for a while. Then-
"I... I was hurting. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
"I know. And I still want you to be my friend, so I'm trying to forgive you."
Somewhere further in the crypt, water is dripping, dripping, dripping. Mice and bugs skitter across the stone floor. Sometimes a breeze will make its way through the stale air. Shelby fidgets with the bottom of their skirt as they try to even their breathing. Hunter pangs low in her stomach.
"...I don't know what's happening to me, Shelby," Avid whispers after a long while.
When she turns to look at him, he's picking at the skin around his nails. The ruby red eyes that have been manic since he went up to level two... they're sad now. Almost anxious. Almost the way they looked before everything.
"What's going through your head, Avid?" she asks, softly.
"I lost everything before coming here. And then all of a sudden I had friends again, and I knew there was something dangerous coming for them, and I needed to protect everyone because it had happened to me before, and I thought I could save them. I thought I could save you guys from what happened to Elle. And then the scars were getting worse, I was dying, and one of my best friends was half-dead too, and I needed a way out. I thought I finally found a cure. Instead I made things worse for both of us."
His hands are trembling, his claws digging into the flesh. Shelby reaches out to stop him from hurting himself, and in an instant he's clinging to their hand instead. She lets him hold onto her like a lifeline as he continues ranting.
"I'm so scared. What if they come after us? I'm still not sure about the others, but I finally have you and Drift back with me, and I don't want to lose either of you. You're the only ones who believed me. You're the only ones who really cared. I'm terrified that you're going to die and leave me alone again. Leave me with nothing again. Then it'll be the same as before I got here, but worse."
His breathing is picking up. He's started crying.
"Avid..."
"And I'm so hungry," he cries. "It's driving me crazy. I can't think anymore! I don't want to be a monster!"
"You don't have to be!" she says firmly, squeezing his hands. "Being a vampire doesn't make you a monster! But if you want to keep whatever humanity you have left, you have to learn to control that bloodlust!"
"I can't," he sobs.
"You can. I did. I do. It's an uphill battle, but you can be good, Avid. You are still good."
And she pulls him into a hug, there on the dirty floor deep in the catacombs. And through his erratic breathing, he hugs back.
"I'm scared," he repeats through choked sobs.
"I am too," she admits quietly. "It's gonna be okay."
"You really think so?" he asks, and he sounds so small when he does.
Shelby thinks of that night on the lake, running for her life as claws dug into her back and changed her forever. They think of Martyn burning them alive without a word. They think of the stake in the chest, of Drift saying they could still be friends and coming back hours later with pointed teeth, of Apo softly admitting her longing for her home, of Pyro swearing vengeance on those who rejected him, of Scott nonchalantly brushing her feelings to the side, of Owen whispering someone's name when he thinks no one is listening, of Cleo spinning in their mother's dress, of Legundo and the rest of them looking for a cure that will ultimately end with one of her friends dying.
And they think this could only end in destruction.
"Of course," she whispers. "Everything's gonna be okay. We'll get out of here, and you and me and Drift and whoever else can all find a place to be happy together."
"That sounds nice," he says, still clinging to them tightly.
"Yeah," she responds, hugging him tighter.
Shelby will cling to the fantasy until someone comes to find them. Before that, she'll make believe that the two of them can find happy endings.
Martyn was planning to betray Ren for a long time. Now, he can't see himself ever being disloyal to him. Even if that means killing. Even if that means wielding the axe at his own king's execution.
(Or: Martyn dreams about winter.)
He regards you with eyes that flash yellow in the moonlight, the ghost of a smile gracing his lips before you thrust the axe deep into his neck. His head comes clean off.
His body stays standing, even as his head rolls down the steps of the altar. Blood seeps from his neck, flowing down his body like water in a fountain, somehow elegant in spite of the circumstances. You've always thought him beautiful. Even here, even now, that doesn't change.
Your hands shake. The axe falls to the floor with a clang that disturbs the silence the winter snow brought. You bring your hands up, closer to your face, so you can see the red staining them, smell the iron clinging to them.
You had been cold before. Winter's chill has been creeping in ever since he lost his first life. Now, the blood on your hands keeps you warm, even as the wind howls and flurries begin to form. Even as time passes and the liquid cools, you still feel as though it's white hot.
You whisper his name, but of course, there's no answer.
He asked you to do this. You wouldn't have done it if he hadn't insisted. Of course you wouldn't. You've never been loyal to anyone the way you are to him. He asked you to do this. Even as you begged, pleaded, cried, he demanded this be done. For the good of their teammates. For the good of their people. He's never been a passive player, you expected he'd do something crazy, but... not this.
The thing is, you love him, and while you're too much of a coward to tell him, you still do anything he asks of you. You want to make him happy. You want him to love you back.
The blood drains from the body until there's nothing left. Once rosy skin turns ash grey. The altar, the floor, your clothes and hands, everything is soaked in red. Snow continues to find its way in, piling up ever so slowly. The body collapses.
You call his name again.
...He's not coming back.
Panic sets in. He was on yellow. He still had another life, so why isn't he back yet? You fall to your knees and gather the body in your lap, checking for a pulse like the fool you are.
He's ice cold in your arms. Not breathing. Of course he's not breathing. You killed him.
He asked me to!
You killed him. He's not coming back.
No, no, he has to come back, I need him here!
He's not breathing. You killed him.
No!
Like ice in your arms. Like a statue made of marble. Like a wild animal felled by the cruelty of mankind. Like winter's frail, dying breathing, fading away into nothing.
You wait for him there, long enough that the blood dries and the sun begins to rise. He doesn't come back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Martyn? Are you okay?"
You killed him.
Martyn stirs to consciousness with an ache in his chest. He can't remember the dream (the nightmare, the memory) in perfect detail, but he knows what it was about. He's had it enough times to know it like the back of his hand.
There's an arm around him, and a hand combing through his hair. He doesn't even need to open his eyes to see the sad smile Ren wears.
"Martyn?"
"I'm up," he grumbles, burying his face in Ren's chest. It's warm here, like the hearth of a fireplace after a long day of work. He reaches a hand up to Ren's neck. It's still scarred from everything, probably will be for the rest of his life, but underneath it there's a steady pulse.
There used to be whispered apologies accompanying this action- Martyn to Ren, for putting that scar there, or Ren to Martyn, for scaring him so bad with the stunt he pulled. But by now, they've said all that needs to be said. Checking his pulse is a way for Martyn to feel grounded, to know they've escaped, that they're far away from that place.
You killed-
Ren places a gentle kiss on Martyn's head, chasing the rest of the dream away.
"It's still early. Are you able to go back to sleep?"
Martyn doesn't want to go back there. But he also doesn't want to keep Ren up any longer.
"Don't know."
The hand carding through his hair moves to cup his cheek. Martyn finally opens his eyes. Ren is smiling back at him. No green, yellow, or red to be found. Just pale blue.
"Don't worry about it too much, okay? Whatever you need, I'm right here."
Of course Ren would know what's running through Martyn's head right now. He leans into the hand on his face, soaking in the attention, the comfort, the warmth.
"I love you," he says, and he's no longer a loyal right hand forced to act against his promises.
"I love you too," Ren responds, and he's no longer a martyred king with a responsibility too big for one person.
They're just Martyn and Ren. And they can fall asleep without the weight of numbered days hanging over their heads.
Cleo's return home from Real Life, from the perspective of Joe Hills.
She's there, just out of reach, sobbing over a field of corpses. The bodies used to be your friends- now, they're mangled and bloody and barely recognizable. This isn't normal. This is permadeath.
Reality warps at the edges of your vision as you reach out to her. She shouldn't be crying. She doesn't do that unless something is terribly wrong.
She turns to look at you, and her eyes are as red as the blood on her hands.
~~~~~~
Joe Hills startles awake at precisely three in the morning. Without missing a beat, he pulls his comm from where it was charging on his nightstand and checks the main chat.
Grian has joined the server
Smallishbeans has joined the server
Pearlescentmoon has joined the server
GoodTimeWithScar has joined the server
ImpulseSV has joined the server
Skizzleman has joined the server
Geminitay has joined the server
Rendog has joined the server
ZombieCleo has joined the server
They're back. He bolts up from his bed, grabs his elytra, and takes to the skies.
It's been happening for a couple of years now. Every once in a while, a handful of Hermits will disappear to the Life Server. When they return, everyone's memories are fuzzy, and new traumas worm their way into their lives. No matter what approach he tries, Xisuma can't seem to find the cause of his disappearing players. It's a mystery that's been driving him up the walls and putting bags under his eyes for a long time.
This time around, they've only been gone for about a week. Preferable to the usual period of two months, but still. Joe would very much like his friends un-kidnapped, thank you very much.
His mind drifts to his vision. Cleo, alone in a field of death. Their face dirty except for the streaks where tears had been flowing freely. Their hair tangled and matted, the flowers in her crown dead. Their hands, shaking, bloody, injured.
Something terrible happened. He has to find her.
He lands at her doorstep, probably not at all quiet. It's fine- he doubts she's sleeping right now anyways. The door creaks as it opens, cutting into the silence of the nighttime. No one's there.
A bit more worried, he takes a few steps inside, preparing to call her name. Instead, he's tackled to the ground.
Familiar hands wrap around his neck, not squeezing just yet. Green eyes flash in the light of the moon, and tangled, orange hair tickles his face as it hangs over him.
"Howdy, Cleo."
The half-feral look in her eyes fades quickly. They stop baring their teeth in favor of a terrified gasp.
"Joe?"
They clamber off of him and fall to the floor in their hastiness. They tremble, and instead of getting back up, she curls into a ball.
"Oh- Cleo, hey, it's okay."
Joe keeps himself low to the ground as he approaches his friend. It wouldn't do to have her become even more frightened.
"No! I hurt you. I've hurt so many of you."
That seems like it could use a lot of unpacking. For now though, Cleo needs a shower and some sleep. She looks utterly exhausted, and while the blood is gone, she's just as disheveled and filthy as she was in his vision.
"Hey now, we can worry about that another time. I think you may be a bit too scared and sleep deprived to process those emotions properly."
"I just jumped you! Why aren't you more upset?"
"You didn't think it was me, did you?"
They pause. Then they shake their head.
"You didn't hurt me either. Just a little spooked!"
"I'm sorry," they whisper. They sound miserable.
"I'm not mad, Cleo. I love you."
It's quiet for a long time. Joe doesn't get any closer for fear of making his dear friend even more anxious, but she's stopped shaking so badly by now.
"I love you too."
Their voice breaks, and they reach for him, and it's all the permission he needs to pull her into a hug.
~~~~~~
Xisuma: i've got pearl. anyone else awake and able to check on someone?
falsesymmetry: i'm with ren.
MumboJumbo: i have grian and scar
ImpulseSV: skizz and i are together
Ethoslab: i'm with joel. gem, do you want us to come get you?
Xisuma: impulse, i'm coming to check on you two when i can
Geminitay: please
Ethoslab: on the way
Smallishbeans: what about cleo?
Xisuma: don't worry about them
Xisuma: joe was headed her way before anyone else was even awake
~~~~~~
Somehow, Joe coaxes Cleo into taking a bath. He runs the water for them while they get some clean clothes together, and he adds some bubbles for fun. Not that he thinks she's gonna be having fun at any point tonight, but maybe it'll distract her a little.
While they're getting clean, Joe grabs some flowers from Cleo's storage, and makes her a new crown. Then he tidies their room, replaces the bedsheets, ignores the fact that he already did this a week ago when Cleo first went missing, and when there's nothing left to fuss over he takes a seat on the bed.
He's fidgeting with a comb when they enter the room.
"Joe," she says, her voice raspy.
"Cleo," he replies softly. "Hair?"
They smile wryly and join him on the bed. Her you don't have to goes unsaid, and so does his I want to. They've been through that song and dance enough that a single glance is enough to convey the message.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Joe says as he begins combing through the knotted curls. "I'd recommend it, though. Even if it's not with me."
"There's no one else I trust with this more than you."
"Aw, you love me."
"Hush."
He smiles, and he knows she's smiling too.
"Either way, I get it if you still need some time. You literally just got back from... you know."
"...I know."
Neither of them speak again, but the silence isn't uncomfortable no matter how long it stretches on. After a good twenty minutes- maybe more- Cleo's hair is free of tangles. Joe sets the comb on the nightstand. Cleo lays down and drags him down with them.
"I'm so tired," they whisper once the lights are out.
"Then sleep. I'll keep you safe."
"I won the game, Joe."
"Oh?"
According to those who've played the games, winning is more of a curse than anything. Winning makes you more aware of the goings on of the server. Winning clears up your foggy memories, makes you remember your traumas in full detail. Being a winner means you come back home with haunted eyes and the inability to feel truly safe anymore.
"I won, and now there are things I can't get out of my head. Things I did that I think might make me a monster."
Her words hang in the air for a moment. Joe bites his tongue to keep himself from protesting immediately- that won't help here. As much as he loves her, it's possible that she's done bad things, and she deserves the truth from him.
"Monsters don't feel guilty about their actions. That's a step in the right direction, at least."
"...Yeah. I guess so."
"Cleo, you're not a monster to me. I don't care what you've done. Maybe that makes me a little morally grey, but it's the truth. I trust you, nothing's gonna change that."
"Even if I've killed and betrayed our friends?"
"Still trust you. Still love you."
They press their face into his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around them in return. He thinks she may be too tired to cry anymore.
"Go to sleep, Cleo. I love you."
"I love you too."
It doesn't take her much longer to drift off. Joe stays up for a while longer, scared that he'll wake in the morning and she'll be gone again. But he's been exhausted the past week, and he follows them to sleep eventually.
They'll both wake up tomorrow, safe in each other's arms.
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i'm so mad. i'll be reading old drafts of abandoned fics of mine, and it'll be getting to a good part, and it just. ends?? and then i can't even be mad because i'm the one who stopped writing it?? and i can't remember where my train of thought was going so i can't even keep writing it??? this is bs.
It's been three years since Grian's husband died. And yet, Scar has somehow managed to send him a letter from beyond the grave, beckoning him to come find him.
It has to be a joke. Some sick prank. But Grian can't help but follow the call to the town of Silent Hill, if only for the tiniest chance to see Scar one more time.
(Scarian Silent Hill AU by @polarchariot )
~~~~~~
This voice, can you hear it?
This sign, can you read it?
I'll wait forever if you'll just come to me.
~~~~~~
This town can't possibly be the same one from three years ago. Before, it had been a paradise. A lovely little place with beautiful scenery, quaint shops, and an atmosphere perfect for two lovers to spend on vacation. Scar had smiled practically the entire time they were there.
Now, the buildings are dilapidated, if not half collapsed. The beautiful greenery that once surrounded the town has shriveled up, dissolved into sand that gets thrown about in the awful winds that plague this place. And there are inhuman figures that lurk just beyond visibility, gurgling and moaning and crying.
Grian would question it further if he didn't have a much more important objective to follow.
He does his best to shield his eyes from the sandstorm with his coat as he scans the area for any signs of life. For once, he's grateful for his glasses- if he had known the type of weather he'd be facing, he would've brought better eye protection.
"Where could you be?" he whispers to himself, gritting his teeth.
There are no footprints. Even if there were, they would be swept away by the wind in an instant. There's no vegetation. No open doors, or running cars, or stray animals. If Scar was here, it probably wasn't recently.
Just get to the park. If there's any chance he could be there, you have to take it.
The park used to be next to a lake. Is it still there, an oasis in the middle of the desert? Or has it dried up too? If it's gone, would Scar still be waiting there?
Grian feels for the ring in his pocket. His fingertips meet cool metal, and he clutches it tightly. A paper crinkles next to it- the letter.
In my restless dreams, I see that town.
A letter from Scar. Grian's beloved husband. In his handwriting, signed the same way he always would- with a little paw print, as if Jellie had helped too.
You promised me you'd take me there again someday.
It couldn't possibly be true. It had to have been a sick joke. A mix up in the mail. Some terrible mistake.
But you never did.
After all, how can a dead person write a letter? Much less send one three years after they've died.
Well, I'm alone there now... In our special place.
Even if Scar was still alive today, he probably wouldn't be able to do much writing. Or moving at all. That damned illness stole his mobility long before it killed him.
Waiting for you.
But... if somehow, he survived. And disappeared, leaving Grian with no clue as to what really happened to him for three long years. And was able to send that letter.
...It'd be rude to leave him waiting, all alone in the desert.
The hole in his chest aches. The hollowness that's haunted him since Scar died could finally be put to rest.
If only the road leading to the park was clear of debris.
Annoyance tugs at him, but before he can act on it, something growls, much closer than he's used to. The radio clipped to his belt crackles to life.
Grian runs. He'll find another way. For now, he'd rather not have another encounter with the... things... that inhabit this town.
He scans his brain for solutions as he flees. The map showed no other way to the park by main roads, and all of the alleys he's passed by have been blocked off or unsafe. He has a key to the bar further down the road, but he's already taken everything he's going to get from there, and it's in the opposite direction of where he wants to go anyways. There's another key in his pocket, seemingly for one of the apartment buildings just a few blocks away.
At first, it doesn't seem all that useful. But it's the only thing he has right now, and the apartments are close to the park's entrance. Maybe he can find a way through.
The moment he takes off in the direction of the apartments, the sand storm picks up. As if it can sense that he has a solid objective in mind now.
It won't stop him. It won't. No matter how tired his legs are. No matter how many monsters screech and swipe at him as he ducks past. No matter how he can barely see the ground a foot ahead of him.
"Is this really what you want?" says the storm. "Do you really think he'll forgive you for making him wait?"
A chain link fence enters his vision, and he clings to it as he trudges forward. Soon enough, there's an opening, and a sign.
Wood Side Apartments
He fumbles with the key, the sand storm attacking his exposed skin. It takes a moment to find the right key, and a while longer to fit it in the keyhole. But he makes it.
He made it.
The door slams shut behind him, and for the first time in a while, it's quiet. It's dark, and the lobby floor is coated in a layer of sand, and some of the stairs to the second floor seem to be on the verge of collapsing.
Something creaks further into the building, and Grian clenches his fists. There's a long road ahead of him still, and there's no turning back now.
"Don't go," says an evil, selfish little voice.
"I'm waiting for you, Grian," says another, kinder one.
He pulls himself together, and steps into the darkness.
y'all should go check out the art on polarchariot's blog!! when i posted this, all of the art had been taken down, but it's back now and you should go appreciate it and give likes/reblogs!
drabbles of hermitcraft @left-side-up - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
