“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading
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@leavingso-bassoon
“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading
AUTO REBLOG

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“I actually got the J&J” 🤣
This is the content I get on tumblr for
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
i need all the help i can get for finals
Hey so
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.
So you know.
This might be the real one, y’all.

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Quarantine Mood
The funniest version of this is when you work in a haunted house
I was super bored one night bc we were really slow, and the animatronic that served as my cue had broken without my knowing, so I didn’t get an alert that someone was coming.
I was in the hallway singing “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” at the top of my lungs and jumping up and down in the hallway. The guy in the next hallway over was singing it with me. I don’t know what he was doing but knowing him, it was equally goofy.
So imagine being a teenager girl and her teenage boyfriend, coming down a dark and spooky hallway filled with fog, and finding a small demonic-looking thing jumping like a madman, shouting “PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME” at the top of its lungs with the voice of a twelve year old boy, and hearing a deep, booming voice repeating it back.
sometimes a clown is in your house. sometimes not. depends.
Depends if I’m home
maybe if i post Fat fuck ill calm down.
did it work
maybe if i reblog Fat fuck ill calm down.

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Someone: hires a woman
Men: “THIS IS LITERAL OPRESSION”
keep up karen
Thy literally think all we doin all day is playin candy crush
because that’s the only thing baby boomers know how to do on a phone

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me, visibly crying tears of joy and love: holy shit
now every man who makes a show set in some historic or fantasy-historic time period now has to have incredibly jacked actresses, for “historical realism”