Well I guess this is growing up.

Me: I want to know languages

me: okay, that’s enough. i can’t live like this. i gotta change my life. i gotta make moves

Me: feels a cool breeze*

if Rey and Kylo were both women or both men, the Force bond wouldn’t be considered sexual.

also consider: LOTR but hobbits have Tapeta Lucidum

Boromir: *glances over his shoulder* ??!!!!???!!

LOTR au but instead of hobbits literally raccoons

TRASH PANDA HOBBITS

Aragorn: *watching Frodo & Sam scamper off in the direction of Mordor* our hopes lie with those raccoons now

Faramir: father why is this raccoon in the livery of the citadel

Elfhelm: Dernhelm, is that a raccoon in your bag?

Denethor: WHY did you let a raccoon go off with the Ring??

Witch King: no living man can kill me - AUGH FUCK, RACCOON, RACCOON ON MY LEG ARGHHHH

Wraiths break into the room at the prancing pony: *UnHoLy ScReEcHiNg*

Treebeard: Baroom, humm, where are my small, impatient friends?

~~~~~~The Hobbit interlude~~~~~~

Saruman: Well since some fucking TREES took over Isengard I guess I’ll take over The Shire. Farmer Maggot and ever other Halfling down to the Sacksville-Bagginses:

Someone: Wow you’re so easy to talk to! I feel like our personalities fit so well together!

body: you are dying of The Heat

me: [sticks one leg out]

Demon to my now exposed leg: