˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

youre supposed to not be like this by my age but whatever

being an executioner used to be an inherited job. imagine dealing with teen angst and also job shadowing your dad the town’s torturer

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

"we live in an uncaring universe." sorry the special planet full of beauty and animals and food literally growing out of the ground isnt good enough for you. i guess

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

can’t wait for whatever bullshit happens tomorrow #mybullshit

when it wasn't meant to be 🤣🤣 but the potential of possibility still plagues you 🤔