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It’s best pictured as concentric circles. These circles are dynamic!

The longer you stay in the comfort zone, the smaller it gets relative to the danger zone.

Meanwhile stay in the growth zone too long and it’ll become the danger zone, but increasing the size of your comfort zone requires entering the growth zone.

Stepping outside of it is uncomfortable.

Not painful. Not traumatic. Not toxic. Not unsafe.

Modern society has worked very hard to convince people that safety=comfort, that any safe area for you should be comfortable, and therefore if you feel uncomfortable, you are in danger.

It’s an underdog story about classism in which the folk hero (Johnny) is confronted by a powerful man (the Devil) who tries to exploit the hero’s perceived ignorance and inferiority by offering a great reward with impossible odds. Although Johnny warns him that looks can be deceiving, and that he’s going to regret the dare because Johnny is the “best there’s ever been”, the devil is blinded by his greed and arrogance.

The devil creates an awful cacophony of technically excellent fiddle playing that would be impossible for Johnny to replicate. It’s a trick.

But Johnny just grins at him and starts to play “simple” classic country fiddling songs - Fire On The Mountain, House Of The Rising Sun, and Daddy Cut Her Bill Off. He doesn’t rise to beat the Devil - he simply creates his own music from his home, in the style that he knows, and his love of it and the familiarity of the music make his “backwoods” fiddling more perfect than the Devil could ever achieve.

It is thus the devil’s pride, not Johnny’s, that allows Johnny to Bugs Bunny his way into a golden fiddle.

Bluntly: Standards.

Sure, the Devil’s portion of the song is extremely technically challenging to replicate....but that’s only relevant to us, retelling the story and trying to replicate it. He didn’t have that standard to be judged against. He just did a bunch of complicated lightning-fast screeching, and tried to set Johnny up to match him, and lost when the kid refused to play that game. The bargain, after all, wasn’t “anything you can do I can do better”. It was just “I’m a better musician than you” and Johnny is the one who actually understands what that means.

But also: all of those name-dropped tunes are incredibly iconic. They’re at least as extremely technically demanding, but more importantly, if Johnny had fucked up even one note it would have been immediately obvious. Every musician in that area knows those tunes. He had to play them perfectly, blend them seamlessly together, and put his own spin on them in order to meet the challenge, and there were no imperfections for the Devil to claim victory over.

All the Devil had to do was make noise. Nobody could tell him that he did it “wrong” because the obvious retort is “no, that’s exactly what I was trying to do, if you think I did it wrong then let’s see you do it better” and that, right there, is the trap. 

Johnny had more heart, of course--that’s the point, that lightning-fast fretting work is nice and all but if you don’t understand and respect the history and culture and the interplay of music you’ll always be lesser than those who do. But he also gave himself the better demonstration of skill, because he did the harder thing, and held himself to a pre-existing standard.

The other player pretends that they know their food is poisoned, but must feign ignorance and try to come up with subtle excuses not to eat/drink it without seeming rude or directly confronting the other about the attempted kinslaying.

“Goodnight Father,” I’ll tell him (because Father with a capital F is the most sinister and threatening thing you can call your dad). “I hope you sleep well tonight. Very well. It would be a shame if something… disturbed you.“ In response, he’ll make an offhand remark about needing to Google the upper age limit for sudden infant death syndrome, or he’ll bring up my “inheritance” and the possibility that he might have worthy bastard children somewhere. 

The Winchesters Season 2

Mental Support Community A forum where you can post  when you are in crisis RIGHT NOW, and need peer support as quickly as possible.

Samaritans UK (email, postal mail, in-person, and over the phone

BoysTown National Hotline (email, chat, phone)

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (phone, chat)

National Resource Center on Psychiatric Advance Directives

RAINN online hotline [Rape, abuse, and incest national network]

IMAlive is a live online network that uses instant messaging to respond to people in crisis. People need a safe place to go during moments of crisis and intense emotional pain.

Lifeline crisis chat is a online chat where you can talk to trained operators in times of crisis- Australian based.

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General resources

PsychForums Psychology and Mental Health Forums, a great place to ask questions and learn more.

Psych Central Forums and great information. 

Lets Recover Together A Tumblr blog that contains inspiration and a place to get advice and support. 

How to find a Support Group How to find the proper support group and other resources. 

DailyStrength A support forum for a variety of different situations and disorders/illnesses.

Medline Plus isthe National Institutes of Health’s Web site for patients and their families and friends. It brings you information about diseases, conditions, and wellness issues. 

The Treatment Advocacy Center is an United States of America nonprofit organization working to eliminate barriers to timely treatment of severe mental illness. 

Mental Health Medications Guidedescribes the types of medications used to treat mental disorders, side effects of medications and directions for taking medications. 

Open minds open doors is a initiative aimed at ending discrimination against people with mental illness. 

Active minds is the only organization working to utilize the student voice to change the conversation about mental health on college campuses.

This post gives information on what Tics are and how they are treated. 

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General techniques & posts

Here are some great posts on mindfulness. 

This is a step by step guide to belly breathing. 

Here are some exercises you can do that helps to keep you in the present grounding techniques.

Having trouble falling asleep? Here are some tips from followers that might help.

This is a guide on how to make a comfort box. 

Safety plan cards are a great idea to keep in your wallet or comfort box which reminds you of your coping mechanisms and people who you can call to be safe. 

The Mood Diary can help you and your doctor monitor your illness. By gathering information about your mood, events in your life, sleep patterns and medications you are taking, you may notice patterns that would otherwise remain undetected.

Tips on remember to take medication.

Pleasant event scheduling is a very simple technique where you do at least 3 pleasant events per week so your life if filled with happy enjoyable moments. Here is also a Pleasant Activities List where you can rate how enjoyable you find an activity. Don’t worry about the scoring - this is just a way to help you gauge which activities to include that will help the most.

Here is a post listing 8 simple tips to help overcome loneliness.

This post lists 10 tips on how to work through feelings of social isolation.

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Getting a therapist

This post on picking a therapist has some great tips. 

This is a step by step on getting a therapist.

Psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or counsellor? 

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Helping a friend

Want to help a friend with a mental illness or disorder? This post provides some great tips. 

Want to help a friend or loved one with Social Anxiety? This post provides some great tips.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration launched the Mental Health Campaign for Mental Health Recovery to encourage, educate, and inspire people between 18 and 25 to support their friends who are experiencing mental health problems.

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How to tell someone about your mental health & interactions with others

This post on telling someone about your mental health problem has some great tips and advice. 

This is a post with links to various module you can complete to help you assert yourself.

Here is a online self help book that has some self help tips and information on social skills training.

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Abuse

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help.  

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about any form of abuse and how it affected you.

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

What is emotional abuse? explores what emotional abuse is. 

Domestic abuse is a collection of a few different posts that might help. 

This is a link to help find women shelters in the USA.

___________________________________________   Addictions

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about addictions and impulse problems and how it affects your life. 

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Treatment Facility Locator or mental health and substance abuse treatment programs and resources in the USA. 

The addiction help center has an extensive range information and resources about different types of addictions including food addictions, work addictions, sex addictions, internet addictions, shopping addictions, gambling addiction and self harm addiction. 

___________________________________________   ADD/ ADHD

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about ADD/ADHD and how it affects your life. 

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.

___________________________________________   Adoption

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

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Anger Management

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.

Here is a post that list some strategies to keep anger at bay.

This websites explains how to gain control over your anger. 

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Anxiety and Panic Disorder

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about anxiety disorders and how it effects your life.

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

Living with anxiety has some great information and some self help advice.

Here is a great explanation of anxiety and some self help tips. 

This is a guide to Muscle Relaxation that might help your anxiety.   

Here is also an article on social anxiety disorder self help tips. 

Here is also some information on exploring and coping with panic attacks.

Here is some information and self help tips on how to handle panic attacks.

Here are some exercises you can do that helps to keep you in the present and to control anxiety grounding techniques.

Mood Gym is an interactive website that allows you to learn cognitive behaviour therapy skills for preventing and coping with anxiety.

This is a moodchart with a specific anxiety and irritability scale that allows you to measure and track your day to day anxiety levels. 

Here is a online self help book that has some self help tips and information on social skills training. 

Here is a self help workbook that you might find helpful panic attacks workbook. 

Beyond Blue - a nonprofit working to address issues associated with depression, anxiety and related disorders in Australia.

Social Anxiety Support

___________________________________________   Autism

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.

Here is a post that explains asperger syndrome.

Here is a online self help book that has some self help tips and information on social skills training.

The thinking person’s guide to autism is a great website full of resources and recommended readings.

Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism  

___________________________________________  Bipolar Disorders 

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about bipolar  and how it affects your life. 

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

FacingUs Clubhouse Wellness Tracker, Wellness Book, Crisis Planning, Etc.

The icarus project is a website with some great resources and some forums.

The balanced mind is a website that provides information for parents and family of children with bipolar disorder. 

The black dog institute has some great resources for depression and bipolar disorder.

Here is a description of mania and hypomania from The black dog institute.

Here is a webpage that explains hypomania and it’s symptoms. 

Bipolar Support tumblr

___________________________________________  Body Positivity & self esteem

Stop Hating Your Body A Tumblog promoting acceptance and love for all bodies, regardless of shape, weight, colour, and so forth.

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

Body Positive Zone A tumblr that promotes self love, and loving of all bodies.  

Self Care 101 is a tumblr with self-care tips and related posts to remind you that it’s important to love yourself.

This is a great post that lists some resources to help improve your self esteem.

Want a simply way to try and improve your self esteem try this  30 day self esteem challenge.

This is a great article on developing positive self esteem.

This is a post on learning-to-love-yourself.

___________________________________________  Borderline Personality Disorder 

This post lists  ten guidelines for families partners and friends of people with BPD. 

This is a toolbox with tips and hints for people with personality disorders.

National Education Alliance Borderline Personality Disorder  [NEABPD]

NEABPD Recovery resources

PsychCentral - BPD symptoms and general information

PsychCentral - Living with BPD

WebMD - BPD overview

BPD Central

NAMI - BPD overview and resources

BPD Demystified 

BPD Today 

About.com - BPD overview and resources

___________________________________________   Bullying 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about bullying in any form and how it affects your life. 

___________________________________________  Chronic Pain and pain management

This is a text post that lists some techniques to help cope and manage chronic pain.

___________________________________________   Mental health crisis 

Mind Information on how to identify a mental health crisis, what to do to prepare, and what to do if you or a loved one is experiencing a mental health crisis.  

___________________________________________ Dermatillomania

Experience project - ” I have Dermatillomania”  a site where people share their stories/experiences with dermatillomania

SkinPick.com - An online community for those with dermatillomania and/or related disorders. Also has lists of resources and comprehensive information.

Dermatillomania resources - General information on dermatillomania, its causes, treatment, and more.

DermaThings - How to stop picking

___________________________________________  Depression and Dysthymia 

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about regular unipolar forms of depression and how it affects your life.

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

FacingUs Clubhouse Wellness Tracker, Wellness Book, Crisis Planning, Etc.

Mood Gym is an interactive website that allows you to learn cognitive behaviour therapy skills for preventing and coping with depression. 

What is dysthymia? This is an submission from a follower explaining dysthymia. 

What is the difference between dysthymia and major depression?

The black dog institute has some great resources for depression and bipolar disorder.

This is a link to a great workbook you can do to teach you about coping with depression.

___________________________________________   Dissociative Disorders & Dissociation

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.

This is a post that explains dissociation in a little more detail.

Dissociation link also has some great information and resources. 

Here are some exercises you can do that helps to keep you in the present grounding techniques.

This site gives some great strategies you can follow to help manage Dissociation. 

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Eating Disorders

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about eating disorders and how it affects your life. 

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

The addiction help center has lots of resources that explains eating disorders, their treatment and much more.

___________________________________________  Grief & Loss

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about the experience of grief and/or bereavement, and the painful process of adjusting to the loss of someone or something you love.

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

SAVE provides suicide bereavement support and offers numerous coping strategies.  

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OCD

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

It might help to read some information on this blog ocdfree that has some great links and forums. 

The ocd foundation has some fantastic links for finding help, resources, links and information about OCD. 

This post gives information on what Tics are and how they are treated. 

___________________________________________  Perfectionism

Overcoming perfectionism is a great resource that explains what perfectionism is and gives tips on how to overcome your perfectionist thinking. 

This post explains the relationship between perfectionism and procrastination. 

This is an article called  Perfectionism: the road to failure. 

The counseling center offers some great information and on perfectionism and tips on how to overcome procrastination.  

This is an article that  provides specific tips for perfectionists coping with failure.  

___________________________________________  Personality Styles and Disorders 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about  personality styles and disorders (borderline, narcissistic, antisocial, dependent, obsessive-compulsive, etc.) and how these affect people and relationships.

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

SDPD A wealth of resources on self-defeating personality disorder, related disorders and personalities disorders.

This is a toolbox with tips and hints for people with personality disorders.

Outofthefog is a website that has comprehensive guides to various personality disorders, their causes, symptoms and treatment. 

___________________________________________  PTSD & Trauma 

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

Here are some tips and tricks on coping with flashbacks. 

Here is a post with some information on PTSD service dogs.

This article explains the link between ptsd and dissociation 

___________________________________________  Relationship Problems 

Mental Support Community A forum where you can talk about relationship difficulties such as how hard it is to make relationships work.

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

___________________________________________  Schizophrenia 

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about schizophrenia and how it affects your life. 

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

This website has lots of comprehensive information about schizophrenia, it’s causes, treatment and management. 

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Self Injury

Feeling the need to self injure? Please take a look at these posts: 24 ways to avoid self injury & Alternatives to self harm. 

Check out this support community for individuals who self harm recover your life.

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Understanding self injury is a text post that explains that self injury is an addiction and the different forms of self injury. 

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about self harm and how it affects your life.

Here is a  post about understanding self-injury, the reasons why it occurs and the forms it can take. 

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Sexuality Issues

Mental Support Community A forum to talk about sexuality issues including performance and lack of desire issues, fetishes, sexual addictions & compulsive pornography use and the impact of these issues on self-esteem and relationships.

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

___________________________________________  Stress

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful. 

It might also help to read this on managing stress.

___________________________________________   Suicide Prevention

Help Guide A site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help. 

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.

Volunteers of America Learn information about suicide, understanding suicide, and handling suicidal threats.

Feeling Suicidal? Please take a moment to read this post on how to cope with suicidal thoughts. 

Want to help someone who is feeling suicidal? This post on suicide prevention might help. 

The international association for suicide prevention is dedicated to preventing suicidal behaviour and alleviating it’s effects. It also has links to forums. 

The national organisation for people of colour against suicide promotes life-affirming strategies that will help to decrease life-threatening behaviors.

___________________________________________  Teen issues 

Helping Teens They address topics such as  suicide, depression, sex, sexuality & pregnancy, self harm, rape & abuse, school & after school, bullies, relationships, family & friends, smoking, self esteem, religion & spirituality, general health, disorders & eating disorders, drugs & alcohol

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Tourettes

Mental Help A site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.

This post gives information on what Tics are and how they are treated. 

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Trichotillomania  

Trichchotillomania is a site with some great information and resources. 

This might also be helpful it is a self help program to managing trichotillomania.

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Interactive websites

Mood Gym is an interactive website that allows you to learn cognitive behaviour therapy skills for preventing and coping with depression. The techniques can additionally be applied to a range of mental health issues. 

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.