"i didn't realize we were missing a baby"

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow

patience of a monk, unless my routine gets severely disrupted. in that case I'm a cube of sodium at a waterpark

also shoutout to my really tired old white guy gynecologist who when i said "i want a hysterectomy" did not push back at all and instead sighed, and without looking up at me from his tablet went "We'll have to do a bunch of stuff for insurance because it's a scam and otherwise they won't approve it" and then after laying out the plan walked me out and i dont know if we made eye contact once after shaking hands, which is exactly the kind of medical care i want in this day and age.

People talk about WTNV as a relic of early 2010s like its latest episode didn't come out a day ago

sorry sorry sorry I’ll stop reading reviews, but one variant that I find really good is when people say “this was advertised as ‘hilarious’. but I found it merely ‘amusing’. perhaps I cracked a smile. once.” because it makes me feel like a trembling jester kneeling before a displeased king, and that image kinda turns me on a little

Holy shit that last sentence