🎧·˚ ༘ wisp of silkˊˎ -

i dont know what i wanna do with this account publicly, i thought of it as my virtual diary, posting whatever i like.

maybe loa or self improvement catered? i dont know yet

intentions:

using my bicycle to get to my internship (25km daily summed up)

waking up at 6:00am every day

working on my creative project (a parallel world that helps gamify my life) more in depth

reading at least two books (the process, chess story)

rebuilding my relationship with creativity; getting back into drawing and writing, without the pressure of efficiency or perfection.

keeping a diary, creating serene atmospheres and keeping my environment clean

focussing on just getting a positive momentum started

getting back into dancing and learning dances

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may, a tender month of sunlight, awakened nature and the occasional heatwave. april has been a month of internal work and reflection for me; reflecting on what i really want and the purpose of even wanting something. i thought more about self-improvement and how it made the things, i wanted to do initially, because i enjoyed them, into something i forced myself to do/that i had to do or otherwise id be a failure. i want may to be a month where i seek more alignment within myself, focus on the process instead of the end goal, find ease and let go of all the external pressure that, at the first glance, looks to be helpful, but is actually counterproductive.

if youre wondering, why some tasks are so small. its because these posts also function as a reminder to do the small things, id otherwise forget :) i might also edit these posts over the day, if i forgot to add something.

if this is the first post youre seeing, visit my blog where i explain this challenge!

talk to an old friend

scan and email my passport

finish my reading assignment (63 pages)

submit my handout

go to bed before 1:00 am

dont take a nap over 20 minutes

dance and workout both for a minimum of 20 minutes

stretch for 10 minutes

- (optional) drawing and singing exercises

hello guys! i've been feeling unproductive lately, so i want to use my blog as an accountability tool. basically, i plan my day ahead (the day before) & at the end of the day, i will reblog the post; describing how the actual day went. i think the aspect of it being public will motivate me and also this discipline will simultaneously force me to document my days. (╯▽╰ )

so here are the things i have planned:

contact a driving school for information about the course times

organise my closet

tidy my room (cleaning my monitor, mouse pad, keyboard etc.)

vacuuming & dusting

finish my reading assignment (63 pages)

dance and workout both for a minimum of 20 minutes

stretch for 10 minutes

- (optional) drawing and singing exercises

beauty is a high value of mine, it makes life worth living, and with that i don't mean conforming to commercial beauty standards, but cultivating a beautiful environment, inner thoughts/mindset, and lifestyle. here are some things i want to do to make my life more beautiful:

avoiding stress by doing tasks and assignments early

feeling refreshed by not staying up late

experiencing the sunrise and sunset by waking up early and being more mindful of my environment/nature

having a clean and tidy room

having an organized digital space

having an athletic and flexible body by regularly exercising and stretching

having an uncluttered mind by journaling my thoughts everyday

having a positive mindset (no self-loathing, ugly thoughts!)

making life meaningful by not only consuming, but also creating beautiful things through creative means

pursuing my hobbies (writing, drawing, singing, dancing, crafting)

eating less processed food & more beautifully prepared healthy food

being hygienic by smelling good, caring for my nails & hair, and wearing stainless clean clothing

avoiding stress by not being forced to hurry

concentrating being in the present moment

minimizing social media usage

creating a nice atmosphere with matching music

basically romanticizing my life

i hope these tips help you cultivate a more beautiful life too! i might make more blog posts if i feel inspired, because they are pretty too ;)

i felt like i was in a rut the last days, yesterday i procrastinated till 4am on studying. there was this constant pressure looming over me to improve myself, change who i am, and catch up to everybody else. because i felt behind, seeing all those self-improvement youtubers and my peers bettering themselves, seemingly having their life together.

why couldnt i change? why dont i do the things that are good for me? the things that i want to do? the things that i need to do?

i realised i just loathed myself.

i had this belief that i had to earn my own love, that it would come after i changed myself, after i achieved my goals.

but thats not true.

why would i devote myself, work hard and make an effort for a person, that i didnt even like? that i hated? i think that thats an impossible task to accomplish.

so im trying to accept myself as i am now. i dont want to judge myself, negatively talk about myself, and treat myself like garbage anymore

even if im not a place where im satisfied with the current state of myself, i still deserve respect, love, and appreciation.

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