And can I get a hot tub!

The Muppet's FIght Club. Constantine is Tyler Durden

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

In early versions of The Lord of the Rings, Saruman was especially unwise to betray and destroy the forests, as all his wealth was held in Ent Credit Unions.

gonna make that old man cum so hard he falls in love with me and regrets that vasectomy

im only attracted to worthy opponents

worf would say that

seeing a new pasta shape is memorable and exciting

i just shit realllly hard and now theres only one ball in my scrotuum. what do i do i already flushed