Obsession Central

I am still so angry!

So, I want to write a S3 era fic where MISTAKES WERE NOT MADE!

Basically Bellhands in S3…but I need help as I haven’t watched the series properly, just devoured all content I could find on so many mediums.

If you have seen S2 and want to fix it with me let me know…

years ago (like 15?!) I came across a fic world thingy I’m pretty sure on Tumblr. It was HP fandom and a Snupin angle I think? I’m desperately trying to find it before I give it up for a fever dream.

I remember the following - please help is it triggers on bells!

I think there was a fic titled/phrased as ‘ what Charlie saw’

It was a muggle AU with the characters being muggle teachers - I think Snape was the Chemistry/ICT guy?

There was a prospectus which Snape vandalised with the ‘truth’

Thats it…it came to be a week ago and has been taunting me ever since.

Izzy's been secretly married to Sam for all these years. Normally he meets up with Sam while on shore leave. This stop at the pirate's republic isn't any different. Except it is; Bonnet's crew won't leave him alone. A) Izzy just wants to spend his shore leave how he wants. B) Maybe he can at least keep this from becoming Sam's problem as well?

(takes place after ep 10) The Revenge hasn't been to port in months. Despite the raids to restock from, it isn't enough to keep the crew content and in shape enough to continue successful raids long term. The Kraken is still as wild and unpredictable as ever. Edward will take this ship down with him, just as the kraken drags ships to the bottom of the sea. Izzy reflects of the mutiny on Hornigold's fleet (paralleling current conditions), what he wants for the future, and those he cares about. (If you want to include bellhands in this: The next ship they raid is one that is in business with bellamy. Whether or not Izzy is already involved with Bellamy or not is up to you.)

Izzy and Buttons on night watch together. The sea tells Buttons things about the past Izzy'd rather not think about. (For a happier(?) take: Izzy didn't know Sam was still alive)

Stede insists on celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, and other such notable events as a crew. Chaos ensues

(takes place after izzy's banished from the ship but before ep 8) Izzy has been banished from the Revenge under circumstances any other captain would have seen as sheer and utter bullshit. He has a plan. It's a terrible, no good, rotten bitch of a plan- a last ditch effort- but it's all he's got. Problem is, Jack isn't where he had been since Anne and Mary kicked him out. While trying to find out where Jack went to, Izzy runs into someone else he knows

Thank you so much for each of these!! My brain definitely went ‘bzzzzzz’ at them!!! Will throw ideas around for a while (and happily with you if you fancy!) and in the mean time, first scene ideas are for some are:

Izzy secretly married:

The hum of the bar faded into the background as Izzy returned Sams easy smile. Lifting his hand, intending to place it on a knee, Izzy froze as a frantic voice burst over his shoulder:

“Izzy, how much shit would be we in if we say…shagged one of Jackies husbands behind a barrel and Jackie walked in on it…theoretically,” Lucius panted, still pulling his shirt on and looking hastily over his shoulder.

Hand dropping away from his husbands leg, Izzy quickly drew his sword and cursed the scribe as he eyed Jackies approach.

Xxx

Izzys was halted in his approach upstairs by the crews collective moans.

“I know your old Izzy, but come on, it’s barely 9…you really want to sit alone in that grotty room and brood,” Lucius scoffed.

“Yeah man, sit with us a while longer.”

“come on ye wee fucker, I’ll buy you a drink,” Big John offered. “Besides, you don’t want to miss the show - I hear it has really mermaids!”

It was on Izzy’s tongue to spit that in that ‘grotty room’ was a gorgeous man, all hot skin and rough hands. That drink was watered down and the mermaid was a man call Steve who had a penchant for shells on his tits.

“Don’t make us drag you out of your room,” Frenchie teased with a beguiling shake of a full glass.

With a fleeting look upstairs, Izzy dropped back to his seat to cheers.

Xxx

“I understand the need for your crew to have your attention at sea, but this is green land Israel - it’s my fucking turn!” Sam hissed, frustration bleeding into his eyes.

“I can’t help it if the stupid twats are following me around like sheep!” Izzy shot back, guilt and agreement at war.

“Tell them to sod off!” Sam exclaimed, drawing attention from the bar keep. “Jesus Christ Iz - your first mate, not a babysitter!”

“No real difference with this lot,” Izzy said, trying to lighten his husbands mood. It didn’t work.

“So help me God Iz, I will put your whole fucking crew in a lock up if you don’t get some work life balance…”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Izzy and Buttons:

“The sea wishes to talk to ya, Mr Hands,” Buttons said, breaking the gentle peace of the evening.

“Tell her I’m busy,” Izzy replied, not bothering to comment on the insanity of the comments.

“You’ve been busy these past 8 years…she’s been patient enough,” Buttons said, oddly demanding for sounding away with the fairies. “She said her salt come from the tears of men, but she needs to give your’s back.”

“What are you bleating out? Seriously, King George speaks more sense then you,” Izzy spat, annoyance creeping at the intense way Buttons was acting.

“The tears you shed for your hearts love,” Buttons said plainly. “She said you gave them in false grief.”

Izzy felt cold, like he had been dunked within the blasted ocean. His chest tightened, and his breath refused to move.

“Aye,” Buttons carried on. “She’s sorry her temper caused you to drift apart, but she wants to hear your laugh again. But she can only help so much and your heart is becoming dispondant.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anniversary

“And the Swede has asked for 18th of September to be his birthday!” Stede said with a flourish as he added the Swedes name to the calendar. “Any more?”

“Ooo, me mam and me used to celebrate October 31 - where the veil between the living and dead is thin. We used to make masks to scare the ghosties away,” Wee John said with glee, reliving the memory with a grin. Frenchie looked intrigued.

“Love it! Nice little holiday before Christmas time!” Stede beamed, happy to add to the paper.

The calendar was looking wonderful - birthdays and celebrations littered the year, breaking up the time and celebrating each and every one of them in some little way.

“Right, well if thats all then-“

“What ‘bout your anniversary Iz?” Ed cut in, looking back at Izzy, who was crossed armed against the wall.

The look on Izzy’s face was murderous.

“Shut the fuck up Edward!” He hissed.

“Anniversary?”

“What anniversary?”

‘Anniversary of what?”

The crews questions came thick, and Stede was looking at Izzy like he was a treasure map to be solved. Ed, preparing to take Izzy’s wrath, provided the answer.

“His wedding anniversary mate, February 22nd.”

“Fucking Twat!” Izzy spat, looking strangely betrayed. “That’s no one’s business!”

“And how many times have you missed it cos I could never keep track of the date - hence Stedes genius idea of a calendar! Besides it’s 25 years this year Iz! Stedes right, we should celebrate these things!” Ed, pleaded, puppy eyes shining full force. “I mean the wedding was legendary, we should have something even better for you quarter decade!”

1) Blackbeard lets the ship get raided and buys only his way out, leaving Izzy as collateral reparations to the winning crew…Guess who the big honcho is? Izzy dealing with the fact that Blackbeard left him to rot, as well as a ship that runs like clockwork. Also, the tiny aspect of his lack of toe and its impact on his ability to work - in the words of the clash - should he stay or should he go?

First draft of a scene here:

“First Mate Israel ‘Izzy’Hands,” the expressionless man stated, writing Izzys name on a fresh piece of paper. “Decent, bit of a contradiction. Some sing your praises, others curse you. Known for a rabid loyalty but you sold out a man to the British-“

“If you’re just going to tell my life story, kill me now,” Izzy bit out, looking around the room and trying to get a sense of the men who now controlled his fate.

The strict looking man in front of him merely raised an eyebrow. The other man gave a hint of a smile.

“We’ve no need for a First Mate, but your overall skills are favourable. Can you read? Write? Arithmetic?”

Izzy gave a tense nod, a blooming feeling of loss overwhelming him.

Fuck, this was really happening.

“Languages?”

“French and Spanish,” Izzy muttered, feeling very tired. “Passable Portuguese.”

“Excellent,” his judge commented, writing on his paper with flourish. “We need someone decent at bookkeeping and stock taking - along with all the other duties of a general deck hand. Wages are one and a fifth - the fifth is because of the literacy and numeracy skill required-”

“What’s wrong with your leg?”

The voice was deep, smooth. It was the first time the standing man had spoken, and Izzy snapped his eyes to see he was looking at Izzy with a calculating gaze. The man behind the desk stayed silent, and Izzy felt the growing pressure to answer.

“Lost a toe,” Izzy muttered. “Balance is a bit fucked, but I can work.”

“Hmm.”

Silence rang out once more, until the sound of paper on wood cut into it.

“Right Mr Hands, you have three choices. Sign here, work and get paid. Or, work your passage and we boot you off at the next port. Alternatively, you can spit on the kindness we’ve offered you and be tossed overboard to feed the sharks. Make your choice.”

Izzy dropped his head to look at the paper, so clean and holding his future on its skin.

It was all there - the duties, the pay. The new Captain, new ship. A life he knew well with a fresh cast of people. With less…

Everything would be less then Blackbeard.

Izzy signed the paper, each shaky draw of the quill a mark in the obituary of life as he knew it.

He wasn’t ready to die yet. And he wasn’t ready to make any choices.

Stay on the sea, and the world will turn on its own.

“Excellent choice,” the man said, sweeping back the paper. “I’m Monty Huws, First Mate. Just follow orders and don’t give me grief and we can get along fine and make money on the way. Now get to the deck and wait. Wash stations, food and schedules will follow.”

Izzy felt a icy shiver at the finality of the words, his choice. He was a little shaky as he got to his feet, the muscles coiled tight from tension and without his cane his foot was more a burden. He grit his teeth, putting all his effort to minimising the limp and leaving with his dignity.

“Wait a moment.”

The silent man had spoken again and with such authority Izzy followed the order without thinking. He kept the man in his sights as he crossed the room, opening a large ottoman and shoving heavy sounding things around, before turning to a closet and rooting in there. Izzy didn’t take his eyes from the man for a second.

With a pleased noise, the man pulled a crudely whittled crutch from the closet, causing other items to fall out of sight. He took confident strides towards Izzy, soft smile still at his mouth.

“Take this. See the ships doctor later, when it’s all settled. Get that foot checked. Dead men don’t work.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Izzy hissed, a desperation swelling up inside him.

The crutch was shoved at him hard enough to make him wobble and he grabbed it, staring at the floor as his new God spoke down unto him:

“And then, we shot the cannons, and the other ship went ‘Argh!’ And we went ‘Ha! And they went-“

“For fucks sake Frenchie! Sod off and let me check the ship!”

Even after a year of sailing without their captains, the crew still acted like sodding kids when they returned: bending Izzy’s ear with tales of their adventures and following him around the ship as he took stock. They got under Izzy’s feet, but he secretly delighted in their exaggerated stories; it meant they were confident on the sea.

With all repairs noted and stocks tossed or moved, Izzy called it a day, deciding he would give the lads the rest of the day off and put them to work tomorrow to repair. The young ones were learning quickly, and with a few months until the next time the crew were due to leave he had time.

Although the new crew members fled with joy once their feet touched shore, Frenchie stayed to walk with Izzy…well more so Lizzy but Izzy didn’t mind.

“She missing her pups yet?” Frenchie asked, smiling as she pranced a few yards ahead.

“Is she fuck,” Izzy snorted. “She hides whenever Fat Boy tries to bother her.

Fat Boy was not the puppies name, but Izzy refused to call him “Teddybear” as Fang had christened him. Of all of Lizzy's unexpected litter, that little tubby ball of fluff was the most relaxed, and Izzy had known as soon as he opened his eyes, he would go to Fang. The gentle giant had blubbered like a child when Izzy dumped the pup in his hands, telling him he was his problem now.

And with Fangs love and attention, that puppy was growing into a chunky, stong little cannonball.

The other pups had soon found homes on the farms and Lizzy was a little more vicious when the other dogs came a calling. So was Izzy.

“How is Stedes vendetta going?”

“He’s losing.”

It was the funniest thing Izzy had ever seen in his life. Stede Bonnet, the gentleman Pirate, in a pissing contest with the 5 foot nothing mayors wife over poxy flower arranging. To be fair, it was a beautiful war of passive aggression, but Izzy made it his aim to compliment the woman’s flowers everytime just to see the blond man's eyes twitch.

“Hey man, little old ladies are vicious - I think she's a witch,” Frenchie offered.

“She’s a vicars daughter!”

“Yeah but she has a wart on her neck! All witches have warts!”

Xxx

“Ships fared well. Few days to repair and then she can sit until next time,” Izzy reported, staring through the window as Stede cooed to a pot of marigolds.

“Young Martins pretty good at sewing - make sure he gets experience in sails repair,” Ed replied, looking pleased at the take. “You coming to the tavern tonight?”

“Yeah, may as well,” Izzy said with an air of reluctance Ed knew to ignore. “Sam said he would come down too. Wants to speak to Wee John about altering his jacket.”

“And he can buy the drinks!” Ed decided with an enthused smile.

Izzy rolled his eyes but didn’t reject the idea.

Xxx

“Izzy, Dizzy Izzy, Izz-a-rino,” Lucius slurred, draping himself over the retired first mate. “How do you get more attractive the older you get? I mean, you’re just…urgh!”

Shugging the drunk man off hie shoulder and pouring him back into Petes arms, Izzy blushed at the flirty smile and lustful eyes the boy was sending him.

“Those piercings look sooooo good, and the hair and you look so…cuddly, Izzy I just want to bite you all over!”

“Pete! Sort him out!” Izzy hissed, standing and leaving the pair to their drunken pawing.

Passing a hand through his hair, Izzy had to admit he had changed over this past year. His hair was growing more silver, and was now long enough it needed tieing back. Sam always pulled it loose in the front, saying it framed his eyes. His ears, bare for years, once more sported metal now that the risk of them being ripped out had passed. Edward has delighted in threading the hoops through flesh and cartilage, and Izzy had returned the favour by putting a needle through Edwards nipples (the mans squeak of pain the source of much teasing for months).

All this change was wrapped in fine shirts and fitted waistcoat, trousers not held up by rope and boots when the toes shielded in wood.

“The loss of love is a wound that never heals,” Buttons said, mind replaying the loss of Karl. “Frankly Mr Hands I’m wondering why you would leave.”

“Because Mr Buttons, I fucking need too,” Izzy enunciated cruelly. “Got work to do and Edward needs someone competent to keep that tug boat afloat.”

“Ok, A) we did perfectly fine before you Dizzy,” Lucius began ticking off his fingers. “B) Ed’s just as able to shout at us as you, C) Stedes actually getting alright at the whole captain thing, and most importantly - D) You got one of the richest men in the world wrapped around your little finger - you can give up work and be lord of the island if you wanted too!” 

“A) fuck you, B) fuck off, C) like fuck, and D) what the fuck?,” Izzy countered with a sneer. “Not a dock molly - don’t need to shag for my keep.”

8 months into semi-retirement and Izzy and the crew are happy. Everything’s going well, the money and flowing and they all have a place to call home.

But when Izzy gets sick, Sam may be looking to make more changes…

Sequel to “You’ve earned fine things”

“Absolute twat,” Izzy groaned with a smile. “Nearly stuck you like a pig. Why are you creeping around in the fucking dark!”

“I didn’t want to wake you,” Sam shrugged, still grinning. “Forgot I was living with the vicious Izzy Hands, quickest knife in the caribbean.”

“Twat,” Izzy repeated, the insult sounding like the softest pet name. “You’re home early - its the 26th.”

“I was eager to come back,” Sam said, kneeling on the bed and leaning over Izzy. “I kept thinking about the gorgeous creature sleeping all alone in our bed. Realised I had better come home as soon as humanly possible before he forgets all about me.”

Smiling widely at the happy face above him, Izzy reached up and cupped the back of Sams neck, feeling the grease at his scalp and the knots in his hair. Sam was filthy, reeking of the sea and the most handsome man Izzy had seen in his life.