The Body.

Anxiety and Depression are conditions and states I have known very intimately in my own experience, but also in interpersonal relationships and professional training as a counselor. For some anxiety and depression are are lifelong conditions, while for others, they are feelings that come emerge with transitions in lifestage or major events. 

I happen to fall in the former -- I believe that I and others often have a personality organization, whether it be a biological predisposition or thats of environment and upbringing, that makes us prone to certain conditions and ways of thinking.  Psychoanalytic and Psychodynamic theory emphasize the use of defense mechanisms as ways to alleviate the internal struggles, feelings of  conflict.  While they are often looked down upon, defense mechanisms serve the purpose of helping us adapt and cope with things that are hard. Not all are created equal-- some are more adaptive and helpful than others.  What is called mature or healthy defense mechanisms are those such as humor, anticipation or the ability to plan things ahead, sublimation-- transforming and channeling negative feelings or behavior into something more constructive, suppression, delaying dealing with a negative emotion in the moment, and altruism, a constructive service to others that brings personal satisfaction.

“It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.” 

I began writing this blog at the beginning of 2013, as I entered more deeply into the health and fitness industry. It was a way for me to really tap into what excited and interested me, as well as bring some light to different ways of moving throughout the community, as well as trends and issues within fitness, nutrition, and policy that affected me and other communities. While I recently finished the coursework of a Master’s program in Counseling, I was reminded of how often mental and emotional issues manifest themselves physically. In my experience, anxiety and depression were always felt with the body. In high school, I would often develop headaches. Consequently, with work and now graduate school, my emotions are manifested through chest and back tightness and pain. What I found was intere

I am never consistent with this thing..

Since Labor Day has marked the official end of Summer 16, a short recap should be in order:

- My ex contacted me, and flipped my whole world for a loop, so I had to cut him out again to remain sane. I could write an ENITRE BLOG about that situation, but I am trying to remain positive.

- Been at the new gig for over 6 months now-- RIght now, the best way to describe it is a rainstorm. Some days it feels really wet, and cold, I can’t see, I don’t know when it will end and I don’t know which direction I am going, but other days its nice to feel the rain on your skin, it makes me feel alive.  However through it all, I know I will have weathered the storm and there will be a bright day soon to come.

- I successfully (almost) made it through the entire summer au naturale!  I think it was good for me to be able to rock my own hair, and learn about it. But honestly, my braids give me super powers, so Im glad to have my cap back.

- I miss the east coast. Beginning to realize that I would love to change the scenery here soon-- but I what I am unsure of is if I am running away or running towards something.

-Summer 16 was definitely full of music, lots of music. I feel like I have been revived :)

- I read the alchemist for the second time, MUCH NEEDED.

The summer solstice has been bestowed upon us.. and im pretty damn excited about it.

Getting into the groove of my new job, my workout stride it coming back, and I have some friends who just moved to the area that will make this summer be one to remember.

You know, for the first time in a long time, I feel happy about who I am.

After making a commitment to getting to know my natural hair (without straightening), I got braids today.  I went three and a half months googling, scrolling, and watching youtube of fellow natural hair sistas, which was helpful, but caused me to be OVERLY optimistic and ambitious with hairstyles.  Plusssss i spent wayyy too much money on hair care products.  I mean, my bathroom looks like a freaking kitchen cupboard meets a chemistry lab.

My hair surprisingly grew! and I did learn, after all that, that my hair doesn’t actually like a lot of product, so that will save me some money in the future. But I caved in and got my braids back, which are long as shit! I was hoping this hairstyle would be more appropriate and professional starting on the job Monday, but these things are down to my butt *sigh* Oh well.

I also did two more exciting things today! I ate chipotle for the first time since November.  If anyone know anything about my food preferences, they will know I have a strong belief in just about everything Chipotle.  I would not be mad if I ate it everyday.  However, I did lose some of my faith over the past couple of months, but I have returned to the promise land with  FREE corn tortilla tacos welcoming me at the gates MMMMmm.  I also started watching American Crime, which is FANTASTIC and Andre 3000 stars in it. FANTASTIC.

SO yesterday was Mardi Gras, and I actually did not indulge and get a margarita. I went to Rustic, which is HUGE bar/restaurant/outdoor patio event space in Uptown.  Ive been two to three times before, but definitely the largest and most diverse crowd I have seen there ever.  Because of the size of the crowd, we ended up not staying there too long.  We went to Deep Ellum and had some amazing hot fried chicken and jalapeno mac & chess from Brick and Bones, then headed over to Trees, a concert venue, to see Unknown Mortal Orchestra.

Let me tell ya... an AMAZING night. The band was incredible, such a musically and technically talented bunch musicians.  I had briefly listened to a couple song off their most recent album, but their performance definitely floored me.   Really a great show and time with some great company.  I throughly enjoyed myself :D

Today has been a decent day, I had my exit interview at Cooper (where I currently work), which was nice and genuine. Then this evening, I finally made my first appearance at an Emory Alumni Event in Dallas, having lived here almost 2.5 years-- which was pretty casual but fun.  I also had a lot of time to reflect today, which was probably spurred a bit by an initial email for an Assistant Manager Position at SoulCycle here in Dallas.  While I have a job I am very much excited to start, the email has reopened a feeling that i’ve had being at odd with what I am doing. 

I have been in the health and wellness profession since 2013 (which is ONLY 2 years, so maybe i need to chill), but I feel like I am drawn to the business end of things, and want to help grow and support people and products that can better a community. Moving into marketing, will help me learn a broad skill that can be applied in so many realms, and really help grow me and possibly fine tune what I really want.  However, I will always have this strong pull to what is familiar and what I perceive that I am good at: being a fitness princess.  I have frankly been unhappy for a while now, and I think changing my situation may be a good start.  We shall SEE what happens.

NOW TO THAT MOST IMPORTANT MATTER AT HAND: Lent has officially started (remember it is one of my favorite times of the year), and I have decided to do a couple of things that i find challenging: 1. Giving up ALL sweets (candy, baked goods, sodas, juices) 2. Giving up Grains (bread, pasta, rice -- unless it’s a work event) 3. Being more active in Dallas in general (networking events, shows, etc.) 4. Spending 30min to an hour reading each day. 5. Blogging/journaling daily

On the eve of my favorite holiday, Lent, I decided to return to the blogosphere and chronicle my daily happenings. YES-- DAILY happenings of my new job: working Tex-Mex fast food company in the marketing department, navigating my fitness journey and fitness trends, and finding any excuse to have a margarita. 

Simply put, this is a glance into the world of Black Girl Magic in practice-- well, an attempt at such enchantment .  And In celebration of this reemergence of my presence on social media, I think ill drink to that.

A group of CEOs wants the Obama administration to backtrack on efforts to regulate workplace wellness. The programs have ballooned in popularity, but there's little evidence they work.

I found this article interesting, having gone through an incentivized wellness program at Cooper Aerobics. Although, it made me excited and there were no penalties for performing poorly or not participating, I can understand how it could cause some anxiety for others.

By the way..