last person awake

her cookie make me pitch a tent because shes fat & weird and now I will expire in 1-3 days

y'all remember when we glomped?

video game with a flaccid -> boner meter in the ui but the whole game it never changes at all and nothing makes the boner meter go up so youre jusg aware of the protags flaccid penis the whole time for no good reason

to be clear in my thinking this would only work in a completely nonsexual game, of course it Could have a function in some sort of porn game depending on the sorta porn youre going for but thats not really my idea here. this concept only works to me if its completely useless and unrelated & the protag isnt even sexualized even a little bit, otherwise i think it loses its charm. you just have to know about their penis and you have to wonder why the entire game and you have to try and figure that out until you realize theres no reason and youre just aware of their penis because the dev is probably fucked in the head or something like that. and then by that point youve reached the highest level of connection possible with a game developer aside from maybe ambushing them from behind and drinking all their blood until they die. and thats how we fix the gaming industry

Divorce seems to radicalize american men in a way that needs to be studied

A divorced american man will join a right wing terror group because he didnt get custody of the kids he didnt take care of at all

An american man will have an affair with a colleague, get caught, get divorced, and join isis

me as a silent hill protag : what the heck …?

what the hell just happened …

what in god damn is going on here ..?

what on earth …

this door is locked.

what is this ?

whats going on …?

abusive girlfriend: why haven't you done anything to fulfill the prophecy today? don't want to work on yourself? it's because you hate me isn't it. you hate me and the prophecy.

What a time to be alive.

I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it

Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll

I crack up every time at seeing that runestone. 

This whole thing is totally cool.

unrestrained summer fun

my rival says she hates me but her ultimate move has started borrowing from my attack patterns ❓️

controversial stance but i do wish i could live forever. i certainly live like i'm going to live forever. i take my time. realistically however my lifespan is dreadfully limited and there are things i've "been meaning to do" that i will never get around to. the Emoji Movie came out almost 10 years ago. in all that time on any random day i could've decided to sit down and watch it, and i did not. how many more decades will slip by like this? conceivably, it could be all the decades i have left. watching the Emoji Movie would not be, after all, a crucial use of my time. much better things to do. i could easily postpone it over and over and over until my final breath where it may not even register to me that i never did watch the Emoji Movie. no great loss, certainly; and yet i find myself intrigued by Patrick Stewart's involvement