a sunny afternoon

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

As a principled feminist I'm often tempted to say shit like "are men capable of higher thought" but then I have to remember not to perpetuate gender essentialism and change it to "why do men choose not to think about anything"

actually i’ve done a lot of work on myself since we last spoke and i wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself and that i hope you die

You are either going to the bathroom with me or going to the bathroom against me

maybe I like talking about the weather okay…… it’s not awkward to me. we’ve both been outside today and the sun and clouds were there too, let’s discuss.

morning/night person is a false dichotomy because its impossible to have any energy at any point of the day

everything will probably be fine but i have to get really anxious just in case

alternate narrative: it’s actually fine if someone found me a little weird or even off-putting. i am a little weird and it’s no big deal

Hot take but I think abled people shouldn't be allowed to decide what a disabled person needs and what are reasonable accommodations

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

hash browns have powerful restorative properties

You will find that this is an inherent property of the mighty potato.

sometimes, for the greater good, you just gotta be a raging hater (with a friend) (in a private convo)