just me.

i am both happy and lonely when christmas comes. i have a gift without a receiver. i have a buffet without a single guest. i have. i have. i have. but i am still alone.

the longer realizations are avoided, the harder they pound through your chest once they finally strike.

“If I knew that tomorrow I will never be able to see you again – I want you to remember that “I love you” I loved you before I had the chance to learn what love is: which is the way you said my name which feels like the safest place in the universe. which is the way you believed in my stars which made every day with you a wish come true. Time is everything and nothing at all if not measured with how much I made you smile, my sweetheart. If I could make you smile for one last time before yesterday’s all that’s left for us to be happy together about then, that’s worth forever. I will be loving you even when you’re gone – or when the robots take over humankind or when there are no more bees left for the flowers. I will keep every last trace of your memory in me so you’d still exist somehow in letters or photographs – Just as long as you’ll remember that “I love you””