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Really trying hard to reckon with and navigate my newly discovered trust issues. I have this desire to connect deeply with others, but I have been hurt so consistently and for the entirety of my life that at this point being vulnerable, being open, exposing my weaknesses and fears… it feels truly dangerous. I am tired of being hurt. I feel compelled to be careful and to protect myself.

Wheeeeeee I don’t want to work anymore!!

Oh my gosh I played beach volleyball for like 2 hours and was even able to jump serve. I haven’t jumped served in 15 years and I did it! Twice! And got an ace both times!! It feels so good to play again. I’m rusty, but it’s fun. The setter on my team is great. They’ve set me up with some juicy sets lol and it feels so damn GOOD to connect with the ball. I’m playing on a men’s net too so it’s harder (and better) practice.