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✦ SUMMARY: the future of ex-commodore James Norrington's life seems bleak until he happens upon an offer that can get his old life back. He only has one prohibition and, unfortunately for him, it's a rather tempting one.
It became harder for Anakin to leave for war once he sat beside her. Thoughts wildly taking shape in his mind of what things would be like once they'd been apart.
He told her the mission would only be for twenty eight days, and not to worry. That he would call her every chance he could from his comms.
It was the only consolation her could give her; the best he could possibly do for now. Because, even though he was deemed 'General' beside Obi-Wan, even Anakin had to follow someone else's rules.
As she nodded sadly with her sight veering off towards the sunlit Coruscant backdrop, through the force he could sense every ounce of her pain. Every breath she took knowing that before long, she would be all on her own again.
He couldn't bring himself to tell her that she wouldn't be able to reach out to him first, or that he'd most likely be away for much longer than he thought. Or the fact that he was approached by other Leaders who wanted 'more' for him - those with ill will, and plagued intentions that often forced Anakin to think differently about himself.
He only knew one thing to be certain in this moment, and that was that he loved her more than anything. And if the stars had aligned in all the right ways, he would return just as he'd always done before.
And so, with the kind and gentle brush of his hand to her face, he kissed her. Patiently and slow. Staying there for a while with her nestled in the winding comfort of his arms.
She'd always felt at ease with him there. Her head resting tiredly now against his chest. That when Obi-Wan appeared there at their door, she knew that unfortunately it was time for them to go.
Yet, even still, with nothing but kindness in his eyes, their best friend understood them. He knew what love meant and the weight it often carried on their shoulders. How secrets like these only added to it; that going away for long periods of time and distance hadn't been easy on them at all.
What would be the harm in waiting just a few minutes longer?
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"B" called me from rehab tonight. He's been calling me twice a week because the number of phone calls are limited to 3 per week. The other phone call he uses for his mom.
For those of you that don't know, that have been following this story, - "B" is my other half. My former partner, & (ex) boyfriend. We have been together 3 years, lived together during that time for 1 year, & have been recently separated since April. Our relationship is on pause while he receives rehab care for alcohol addiction. I have stayed in touch with him during this whole process of detox & professional care - which started at the beginning of July. We have been through alot together & I continue to be a kind friend & positive support system for him.
I really miss him. I'm happy to hear his voice when I can. The phone calls are only 10 or 11 mins long. I wish we could speak longer to each other. We both take turns talking really fast & catching up about the last few days events.
When I answered the phone tonight he said, "when you picked up the phone, my timer was exactly on 11:11" 🙏🩵 I thought this was a very nice & strange synchronicity because on the way home tonight, my brother & I also saw 11:11 on a bus ad while we were driving - & a cardinal in his backyard. Little signs everywhere. 🙏🦋
Alot of the phone call tonight was going over insurance info & logistics. He has to sort out some things with his counselor, but I'm sure everything will be ok. When I gave his mom an update about all of this, she just responded with "we'll get it done".
I have been praying for him throughout everything, & I am truly thankful to God for answering mine & my family's prayers to help him, & to keep him safe.
I worry sometimes about the way his mom responds to me. Some days she seems completely normal & enthusiastic to hear about B's progress. Other times, she makes me feel like I am only bothering her, or perhaps shouldn't even be involved. I continue to keep her informed at his request because he is unable to call often. I hope she understands this. One night she relayed a message from him to me to let me know that "he is always thinking of you". I thought it was very nice of her, but then after that, our communication lessened & became only generalized.
I don't know why this is affecting me so much or why I care so much about what she thinks of me - or having her approval. I know who I am, & I know my worth as a human being. If anything, she should be glad that I am even still choosing to have a place in his life during this difficult time - given everything that I have suffered myself & been through (most times alone).
The last thing I want is for there to be any unnecessary family drama or resentment. It's a hard situation. I'm trying to learn to let go of past traumas & bad feelings - & instead, lean on my faith instead. Forgive, heal, move on, start fresh.
I still am unsure about what the future holds for me & B as a couple. I only know that we still love each other very much, & that this separation might be the healthiest thing for us both - to learn, to grow, & to * hopefully * come back together when the time is right. Stronger, well, & in a better place for each other.
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