snzz mimimi

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro

"i'll make you fucking ugly" because niall is beautiful to ruben. not in a physical sense, or not just, he is beautiful—a beautiful soul, a pure person, a mind unsullied by what happened to him, he is untouched. or so he seems to ruben. he wanted so badly for him to lie and share his ugliness. he wanted so badly for him to sit next to him and shoulder the burden of a dirty conscience. and sure, niall isn't actually untouched, he's poisoned in ways that he will never be able to bleed out, but to ruben he was full of life and light and so he thought maybe it'd work both ways, maybe he could take some of that light, maybe it'd rub off. then niall denied him the possibility and cursed him to live with himself, alone. "i'll make you fucking ugly" because you couldn't make me beautiful. if we're both ugly, maybe we still have a chance.