yooo i just want to sublease the apartment tbh, i'm already done with it.

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yooo i just want to sublease the apartment tbh, i'm already done with it.

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i feel so alone in the apartment and although partner is coming to live with me soon, i don't think it'll make that much of a difference. My new kitty makes me feel less lonely than him.
when i’m annoyed i just block him
13 Reasons Why I Dislike the Show “13 Reasons Why”:
1. The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention has specific guidelines on how to safely portray suicide without inadvertently causing more deaths, and the series blatantly disregards those guidelines in graphically showing Hannah slitting her wrists. This could literally result in more deaths by suicide, which is NOT OKAY.
2. It glorifies suicide by making it seem like killing oneself and leaving tapes/a note/etc is the only way to effectively send a message to the world, when in fact, the opposite is true – the most effective way to send a message is to survive, thrive and tell one’s story.
3. It simplifies suicide by making it seem like it is a direct result of bullying, sexual assault, etc. when in reality the issue is far more complex.
4. It conveys other characters as unhelpful and unsupportive when Hannah tries to reach out, which could discourage viewers from seeking help themselves.
5. It does not effectively address the subject of mental illness, which is a major component in the issue of suicide.
6. Hannah essentially blames others for her death, when in reality suicide is a choice made by those who commit it. Yes, things such as bullying and sexual assault can be a main factor in suicidal ideation and mental illness, but the decision to commit suicide is solely in the hands of the individual.
7. One of the characters justifies her self harm by saying “it’s what you do instead of killing yourself”, which simplifies and glorifies self harm by making it seem like a good “compromise” instead of suicide.
8. The show provides no resources for those struggling with similar issues to Hannah, which again goes against the specific guidelines of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. It is not that hard to do research and find these guidelines, so it is clear that the creators of the show had little to no interest in taking advice from professionals or considering the potential negative impact they could have, which is honestly just disgusting.
9. The school counselor Hannah speaks to brushes off the clear signs of her being a suicide risk, which is literally against the law and not something any qualified professional would do.
10. It is highly offensive to many people struggling with mental illness and suicidal ideation because it never really delves into Hannah’s character, or portrays her as having mental illness (a major factor in most suicides) - it just makes her seem dramatic and attention-seeking, which perpetuates stereotypes.
11. It does not offer a healthy solution or way of coping with traumas such as bullying and assault - the only “solution” it offers is suicide, which, as mentioned previously, the show glamorizes and simplifies.
12. Hannah makes other people like Clay feel irreparably guilty for her death, which is cruel and inconsiderate, and not something most people who commit suicide would actually do. The show treats suicide as “the perfect revenge”, when in reality suicide is about feeling hopeless and sad and is a very personal decision.
13. As someone who has personally attempted suicide and knows the stories of countless others who have, I do not feel that the show accurately and fairly portrays the issue, or adequately addresses the main factors in suicide. To me and many others I have spoken to, it is downright offensive, lacking in research, and overall poorly done.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
Don’t agree with this.
No the show doesn’t represent what I went through as a person who suffered from depression, bpd, and who was suicidal, but am I supposed to complain until there’s a show that portrays EVERYTHING I went through? No.
I liked the show, I think it encourages people to talk about mental illness, to stop bullying, etc. Actually, I think the show was more about bullying and sexual harrassment and how it can lead to suicide. Of course to consider suicide you must be pretty depressed and think there is no other solution.
There’s a bunch of things I don’t agree with that post. This person above does not speak for me and I don’t think they speak for everybody. I do not find the show “highly offensive”. “She blames others for her death” mhmm everyone has their own reasons for why they commit suicide and I think in Hannah’s case she wouldn’t have killed herself if she hadn’t met those unpleasant people. Also, some therapists and doctors can be assholes and not provide help. My doctor was the dumbest bitch ever who put the blame on me and wouldn’t acknowledge my BPD although I was professionally diagnosed, went to the hospital twice and saw 4 other doctors. So saying that all therapists are nice and obviously help others is pretty offensive to me.
Like damn it’s a book and I think it did a good job in getting people to talk about important issues in our society.
*And also, I don't speak for orthers. This is my personal opinion that is based on my personal experience*
Long time no writing.
A lot has happened. The most important being my bf wanted to break up. He said it was his lil bpd moment. He said he can’t always be the sane one in the relationship. But I relied on him so much, I never thought he would want to break up over something so silly. However, I always thought that one day he would let me go because I’m just the most annoying person ever. I can also be a brat.
All has been fixed. We talked and I cried. We’re still together. We're still planning on moving out together.

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Date someone who understands your mental illness and will power through your outbursts with you. It’s what you deserve. You deserve someone who cares enough to stay even when you’re not okay.
I think ever since my own sister told me to go kill myself, it changed our entire relationship for ever. It’s not something that I can just forget and forgive easily. At 17, I don’t think you are too young or too immature to not understand that you can’t tell a person with bpd to go kill themselves. I swear, if I had a knife that day you told me to go kill myself, I probably would’ve done it because you sounded like you really wanted me to die.
me
Diary Entry #5 - February 4th 2017
Living with my sister is making me feel anxious and stressed out: she’s been the one triggering my last 3 mental breakdowns. She brings the worse of my bpd. I always feel like I want to die when I’m around her.
The main reason why I quit my last job and I want to move out next year, is because I can’t live with her. She’s either really nice, or just flat out mean. She can be so rude to me, and I’m done getting treated like this. I don’t have the energy or the mental capacity to have to go through school, relationship issues, work issues, and family fights. And I’ve decided that family, or sibling relationship, comes last.
I want to focus on me, my job, school, and my relationship with my bf. I’m just done with dealing with family issues, even if some people might say family comes first. I’m just not happy anymore in this house. And it’s either her or me that’s leaving.
I just want to hibernate until forever
Uni is going to kill me
In all my classes I have to work in group. I hate working in group because it means I have to interact with people. Usually I'm lucky enough to have people ask me to be on their team, so I actually don't have to put much effort in socializing. But today's class was overwhelming: there's about 130 students in the class, which I know none because, like I said, I don't talk to people. It was also hard to spot the loners. But someone wrote on the class forum that he was alone as well, so I jumped in on the occasion and ask him to be his partner. We just need to find 2 other people now. Meh. I honestly just feel like giving up uni although it's my last semester before I graduate because socializing makes me anxious as hell. It's like high school all over again. Classes at uni are so big, I just don't know how to interact with people. I'm too socially awkward. I'm more comfortable in a small classroom, but with 150 people, kys.

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loving me must be so fucking hard i am so fucking sorry
Nobody ever talks about how being borderline involves so much waiting.
It’s waiting for something interesting to happen, waiting for something dangerous to happen, waiting for someone new to be obsessed with, waiting to be abandoned by them, waiting for a big emotional breakdown so that people will remember to worry about you, waiting for a recovery that you’ll never get, just waiting.
THIS
Saw this on my timeline. People were getting butthurt over what this ella person was saying. But I think it's true: my bf has to be strong to be with me because of all the times that i've flipped out on him, that i've cried, that i've threatened to break up with him, is really difficult for him. But i'm also strong for dealing with my issues the best i can. My parents are STRONG AF, although they're not saviours, for going through every single one of my flip outs. They've done so much for me and i do consider them super strong: they had to call the cops on their own daughter because I was going to stab myself. So mhm yeah the people in my entourage are STRONG AF and i'm happy that they are strong because otherwise how could they be any help? Basically, I didn't see anything wrong with that tweet, and that's coming from someone with a mental illness who gets offended and triggered by every little thing.
For every negative thing that you’re able to bounce off yourself, sticks to me like glue.
my bf translating my feelings
socializing is definitely a struggle for me and i don’t know why. It’s a mix of me being shy, not knowing what to say, awkwardness, and me just not giving a fuck about socializing.
if I could I’d socialize more of course, actually try to talk to people, but I just can’t. I overthink too much about what people might think of me. And it stresses me out. So i’d rather just be alone.

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