[12:08] oli: actually no, minimuka freaking chased me the other day, jim. jimmy: yeah, good. under my orders! my orders! oli: he told me! he told me, that’s the thing he said, he said “jim said—jim—jim told me that you killed him,” and I was like, “yeah, we—it was a duel.” there’s no bad blood in a duel, jim. jimmy: yeah, but there was bad blood after. there was bad blood after, ’cause you threw me out.

[31:36] jimmy: hey, minimuka, right? our friend mini, he’s been hooking me up.

[52:59] jimmy: no, but I know you; you’ll start taking stuff out the chests, you’ll just start saying stuff, mini will come back on, he’ll just kill you… oli: I know, but I think I can one-shot mini, realistically. jimmy: you can’t. you can’t. oli: dude, he’s done like one naked and afraid. jimmy: no, he—he’s—he’s very good, mini is. callum: he doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who’s afraid when he’s naked. jimmy: no.

[54:44] jimmy: dude. mini’s gonna be so annoyed. oli: mini, mini, mini. all you talk about is this mini guy. jimmy: well, he’s—he’s—literally, mini has done everything for me. literally. oli: jim, I want to ask you a question. jimmy: go on. oli: I want to ask you an important question. jimmy: go on. oli: in that therapy session. I made you laugh, didn’t I, jim? that one joke I made about minimuka. jimmy: what—what was the joke again? oli: doesn’t matter. but the point is, I made you laugh probably harder than he’s ever made you laugh. jimmy: oh, he’s—he made me laugh a few times. oli: yeah, he has. but not harder than what I do to you, jim. jimmy: mm. oli: don’t forget what we got. we got something good.

[56:32] oli: he’s on eleven, I’m on nine… jim, what you on? jimmy: I’m on seven. oli: who’s killed you?! jimmy: um… mini’s killed me a couple times. um… oli: why’s—wait, you’re friends with mini and he killed you more than me? jimmy: yeah, but it was just a funny bit. and jack, jack killed me. oli: it’s not—hurting you isn’t funny, jim. jimmy: someone invisible killed me as well. oli: jim. jimmy: yep. oli: you c—you clearly been hurt so much, jim. jimmy: yep. oli: it’s not funny bits to kill our friends. jimmy: this is—it was—it was funny in the moment. oli: for who? for him when he was laughing at you? jimmy: I d—I don’t know. I don’t know, now, thinking about it. I think I got taken advantage of, I’m not gonna lie. oli: I think you might’ve. ’cause now he’s got lots of hearts and on the last day he’s gonna sacrifice you, jim. jimmy: he is, he is. oli: he’s gonna sacrifice you. jimmy: well, I’m gonna get sacrificed on the friday, I think.

[58:49] jimmy: I’m telling you, right. please, oli, do not betray me. I know callum won’t. I just know mini—I think he would hit me. I think he would. oli: why wouldn’t callum—? jimmy: ’cause callum w—he—he’s just logged on today! oli: mate, you shouldn’t be this afraid of minimuka. jimmy: right. callum: I dunno. oli: you shouldn’t be afraid of minimuka. jimmy: no, I am. I am. [callum: he’s scouse. jimmy: he is!] oli: he shouldn’t be allowed to make you fear him just ’cause he hits you. jimmy: no, he w— [laughs] he—it—mini, mini would, right? oli: I know he would!

[1:15:25] (context: zam killed jimmy, and he lost all his stuff) jimmy: ohh. oh no. ohh no. mini is going to be absolutely fuming.

[1:16:24] jimmy: no, no. I don’t think we’re getting our stuff back, dude. callum: I’m naked, they can’t kill me any more. jimmy: yeah, we’re naked, but we need to get—we need to re—ah, mini’s gonna be so annoyed at me.

[1:26:45] jimmy: oh, there’s oli. oli: jim! jimmy: yeah, I’m here I’m here I’m here I’m here. oli: jim, huge news. jimmy: yes? oli: I found a wild happy ghast roaming over there. jimmy: no, it’s ours. me and mini’s. oli: no, it’s wild. look at it, it’s not got a saddle on, it’s wild. happy ghast. jimmy: oh, it is ours, we grew it last night.

[1:28:30] jimmy: um, and then, if I just quickly do this. if I just—if you come out here, you can probably witness this as well if you want. oli: okay? jimmy: if we just… drop these, and then we, uh, make sure we just put them in the… oli: yeah yeah, I see, yeah yeah. jimmy: we burn the evidence. oli: am I gonna have to… pass that along, or like…? jimmy: no, you just say that—if they come along, you say that we just put ’em up somewhere. oli: you’re burning banners. banner burning, jim. jimmy: if—dude, if mini came here and there was a banner here, I would log back on and all my stuff would be outside. oli: you seem really afraid of this mini guy, jim. I don’t know if you should be hanging out with guys like that. jimmy: he has—he has made it all possible. he’s made everything possible. oli: yeah, but—yeah, but you’re just like his little toady, aren’t you? jimmy: no, I’m not. no I’m not. he’s a great—he’s a great guy. oli: and he’s made you build sideways. the fences don’t even work properly. jimmy: no, it’s—it’s to stop people coming in! and out. you fool. oli: yeah, but I’ve got in. jimmy: right. I’m—I’m going now, I’m going. oli: I hope one day when you learn that this mini guy ain’t all he’s cracked up to be, that maybe you pop by mine and we have a dip in the tub. all right? jimmy: I’ll—I’m—I’m happy to dip in the tub with you whenever, all right.

+bonus:

[37:53] may: I was never gonna murder you, jimmy, don’t worry. jimmy: thank you. thank you. may: I was just gonna be there to give you a few corrective hits.

A Kinokuniya bookstore, Earth