[dick starved voice] i just need to get in a car crash

yeah that’s a common mistake actually, a dusty periwinkle hanky means you like receiving butterfly kisses but that shade of morning mist means you wanna get killed with a pipe wrench

there should be a website where you're not allowed to be a nazi

I'm in the war on fatness on the side of fatness

being an utter loser makes you immune to incentives and thus in some sense god

im probably the second most normal guy alive

sardine-based petplay

No one has peed on me as of yet

instagram reels is worse for you than cocaine

To those about to go into work keep hitting the pen just one more hit bro you can handle one little hit you're not scared are you