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hondo ohnaka could find the dead man's chest but captain jack sparrow could never bag a baddie like aurra sing

star wars headcanon that the jedi order uses a really outdated shitty version of microsoft teams that is constantly playing up. and ventress's little passion project is breaking through the very limited security and broadcasting false announcements. and rather than update the system yoda is just like troubling this is, stop it you must and sends ahsoka on a mission to find out Who Is Doing This. and she gets to tattooine and traces the signal to an ugly little house in the middle of the desert. so then she just goes fuck it and knocks on the door and is eventually let in by a man in an enormous hat who she vaguely recognises, who shows her into the living room where four fully grown adults are huddled around a table giggling. and ahsoka goes Oh Shit It's Ventress which is particularly weird because ventress is in a save the wampas t shirt and perching on latts razzi's lap. and ventress laughs and goes wow they really pulled out the big guns sending you. and ahsoka is like ventress since when do you have a girlfriend what the fuck and ventress goes oh so you think i cant have a personal life. i do things outside of my nine to five you know. and boba fett is standing there looking angry going guys you are supposed to be working and dengar goes can it knee-high we're going to send out a temple-wide alert that all sex is banned of a severe STD that causes your penis grow teeth. and ahsoka goes well jokes on you no one in the jedi temple fucks so thats not a problem for us and ventress goes i know that is not true because i myself have fucked at least two jedi. and ahsoka says well i dont really care about any of that i just cant believe you never told me you have a girlfriend and ventress says what is wrong with you ahsoka why are you even here. and ahsoka is like well i was meant to stop you doing this but i guess i wont tell if you dont this is kind of funny actually hashtag girlpower and just goes welp master yoda this mystery was unsolvable! and gets herself put on jedi desk duty for a week

i kind of fw mon mothma for getting to yavin and immediately giving herself the roxanne ritchie knockoff worst haircut of all time. star wars has leaned into so many soap opera bullshit tropes that "terrible haircut as a metaphor for finding yourself" was only a matter of time. perfection

asajj ventress character of all time. walks into a room and immediately everyone in it makes their life mission to hit that. daddy issues from 3 separate daddys. cracked obi wan kenobi. inventing eating pussy. got sold by a witch. bald. never got over anything ever not even once. no one has ever done it like her