look who finally made a cdf blog lmao

Darren

Steve

Crepsley

Harkat

Vancha

Kurda

Mika

Arrow

Paris

Gavner

What your assistant’s messages may actually mean:

pov: power of vampaneze

smh: steve my hero

wap: we are purple

omg: our man gannen

nvm: nasty vancha march

brb: bring reggie back

idc: i detest crepsley

ikr: is kurda reliable?

sms: steve murdered shancus

dtf: darren, that fucker

I’m rereading Cirque du Freak again and it reminded me of an old oc of mine and their adopted dad ;-;

yes i know theres another character named Arrow don’t @ me

As told by author Darren Shan ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) :

As protrayed by art:

Sin

Not as soft as I'd like it to be.. Sorry about that. Hope you still get a giggle from this.

Netflix’s version greatly improved on it.  They gave each book one and a half to two hours each (save for The End, which was rushed).  They were true to the book, the characters pretty much well-casted, and new additions to the series and changes from the books were warmly received by fans.  When I say “pretty much” well-casted, I mean that everyone did their part really well but I’m not a big fan of some of Malina’s acting choices.  She’s a wonderful child actress (more talented than most!) but I felt that while Louis Hynes, Presley Smith, Neil Patrick Harris, etc. did better than their film counterparts, the Violet that I read in the books was Emily Browning.  Overall, the series did the books justice with absolute pizzazz.

Now what I’m really hoping is for Netflix to cure the adaptation monstrosity that is Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant.  POORLY casted, TERRIBLY written for the screen, and DISTASTEFULLY strayed from the books. 

Let’s talk CASTING. 

Chris Massoglia is not a very seasoned actor so I shouldn’t be too hard on him but…he was bland as hell.  He’s not what I would call a leading man and it was far more interesting to watch Josh Hutcherson even though he had less scenes than Massoglia.  In his place, I would cast an unknown kid witch the same charm and talent as Reo Uchikawa (but of course, Darren isn’t Japanese).  He needs to have that spark in his eye and portray a strong determination to be a hero.  Whoever plays Darren definitely should be the youngest kid since he’s not supposed to age as fast as his peers.

Also, aging up the main characters caused the same mistakes that the Percy Jackson films suffered.  Ya think kids can’t carry a series?  Watch A Series of Unfortunate Events or Harry Potter.  Some of the most pivotal moments of the series happens during their childhood and you’re supposed to see these events affect a child so aging them up to high school in the original adaptation completely misses the point. 

Sidenote, Reo Uchikawa was in the Netflix’s adaptation of the manga Erased, which was done beautifully.  If anyone wants to cast this kid as Darren in the adaptation of the Cirque du Freak manga, PLEASE yes!  Him and the kids who played Kenya and Kayo were really sharp and so believable.  Good child actors are so hard to come by sometimes.  Josh Hutcherson was one of the few that was talented from his first film to now.

Speaking of Josh Hutcherson, he’s far too old to play Steve Leonard now but I enjoyed his performance very much.  He did the best he could even though some moments suffered from bad writing.  It was seriously atrocious writing.  His big reveal as one of the bad guys included, “Vampires suck.  Vampaneze rule!”  Wtf.  I’d love to see Hutcherson return in a different character, probably a vampaneze to pay homage to his first character.  However, in the role of Steve, we need a kid who can portray a growing darkness inside him.  When Hero Fiennes Tiffin was younger, he was perfect for the role of young Tom Riddle.  He would have been a perfect Steve, seeing as how he’s grown up now and is still playing bad boy roles.  He made Draco Malfoy look like a preppy schoolboy (but tbh he kind of is.  Malfoy isn’t evil, just a misguided spoiled brat.) 

They really need to do this adaptation as a series versus movie because we need some time with the other kids in Darren’s life, like Annie, Tommy, and Alan.  This is because their return as adults in his life will be far more meaningful, especially Tommy’s and Annie’s role in the later books.  Annie did some considerable screen time in the film but I think her bond with Darren could be further explored.

Now while I could just recast everybody and forget about the film creation of Rebecca, the main recasting that really matters is Larten Crepsley, whose actions along with Darren’s creates the entire premise for the series.  When John C. Reilly and Willem Dafoe signed on for the project, I was assuming that Willem Dafoe was going to be Crepsley.  He has played the role of firm mentor before and shined in his portrayals of Norman Osborn and Vulko in Aquaman.  Instead, our vampire’s mentor turned out to be the goofy John C. Reilly.  He wasn’t a bad actor and gave Darren some tough love, but he just wasn’t fit for the character.  Like imagine just any kind of Willem Dafoe role and put John C. Reilly in…  That was who we got for Crepsley.  I like Willem Dafoe’s naturally villainous look but he can also play gentle father figures so that pair of traits is what we should be looking for in Crepsley.  If we want someone with a softer demeanor, there also David Thewlis (he’s played the great mentor in Remus Lupin and a villain named Cyrus in Dinotopia) and Gary Oldman (well known for playing all kinds of men from father figures to villains).  Just please, ANY one of those guys but John C. Reilly!  If I have to wait more years for Cirque du Freak to be adapted, then I wholeheartedly challenge Josh Hutcherson into the role.  That’s how you know you’re old in Hollywood, when you start playing a dad lol. 

Mr. Tiny is another character that could be recast.  He simply wasn’t threatening enough.  I get that Michael Cerveris was trying to be playful since Mr. Tiny is meddlesome and mischievous in nature, but it comes off as goofy to me.  I visualize someone like Andy Serkis or Patrick Wilson if you want him to be more good looking.  Any actor playing Mr. Tiny has to find the right balance between playful, menacing, and powerful.  A cliche choice is probably Mark Strong, who is known for 1) being bald lol 2) playing British villains.  He had a side of goofy in Stardust but you can still clearly see him as a threat. 

Other things I want a new adaptation to do:

1) KEEP DEBBIE BLACK.  She’s black!  Don’t bring in some whitewashed monkey girl for Darren! 

2) BRING ON THE BRUTALITY DESCRIBED IN THE BOOKS.  The movie was fucking tame.  I once spoke with Darren Shan online very briefly about how I wanted it and he was basically like, “fuck yes, I wrote it that way so adapt it that way, bitches.”  (Don’t quote him on that, I’m exaggerating.) 

3) A lot of the freaks at the camp were caricaturized in the film, like Madame Truska and Evra Von.  I want them to be relatable outcasts.

4) The adaptation of the second book needs to drastically shift the tone of Darren’s life.  At first, he’s a normal kid going to school and into weird things like colorful spiders, then he becomes a vampire, hates it, tries to keep being a kid and human, and then he’s forced to drink blood for the first time.  He finally succumbs to it, marking his acceptance that he’s finally a vampire.  He’s not very happy with it but he accepts it, finally.  But that moment is so pivotal because it also represents his childhood’s abrupt end.  He may look roughly twelve but I remember reading that in the book and just knowing that Darren was forced to grow up from that moment on.  That’s why I am so against aging the characters up.  One of the biggest points in the series is watching a kid enter an all out war.  A film that did this kind of theme well was Voces Inocentes and that’s what I’m looking for.