食いしん坊

what a fool she was to think he’d actually compliment her choice in furniture. no matter how close they had grown over the years, he would always have something smart to say. instinctively, hand whips out for a second attack and she finds her brow twitching when he steps out of her reach. curse her short arms. 

         "—i could still strangle you,“ she said, turning to face him, arms crossing over her chest. only a few years ago she would have genuinely been annoyed that he had known what her movements would be before she had time to act them out. cheeks puff out at him before she smiles again, waving her hand through the air. "they’re at the park. do you want to go meet them? i’m sure she would be more than happy to see you and yomo could use a break." 

late nights  /  not accepting @deamoros

hi ily / @tsukotsu

“---- kaneki-kun? “  shuu tenses slightly in surprise at the half-ghoul’s question,  the meaning behind it not clicking until he lowers the pad of his thumb from his own lower lip ---- understanding chasing the confusion from his features, hitching his lips up at the corners. “ ah, oui.  force of habit.  i, hm, didn’t know you knew what it signifies, “  and for once, kaneki was not at the base for the subconscious,  automatic motion:  but matsumae is still not a topic he will readily open up about, no matter how hard he tries to keep her spirit alive in his memory. 

besides, he’s well enough aware of kaneki’s state of mind the hint of fragility beneath that teasing tone doesn’t escape him like it once might have. 

“ i would think you already know the answer to that, par contre. “ there’s a slight lift to his brows, the smile still playing around his lips taking some of the sting from beneath the soft reprimand.  “ whatever the others might believe of my being here, at your side,  i wouldn’t be here at all if i didn’t have faith. do you doubt it? “ 

he turns from the reports he’d been looking over,  eases himself down on the chair closest to his king’s.  “ we ghouls have always been quite the solitary sort, you know?  we do not often work together with anyone outside our respective clans ---- and yet, in the mere span of months you have managed to unite us all to a common cause.  one only needs to look outside, at the sheer number of ghouls that have come here, to have faith. “

late nights  /  not accepting @vcraciovs

how sensical, really,  that the sneering voice at the back of his mind would be hers,  carrying just the right amount of mockery and pitying disgust always such a staple of their past interactions.  he supposes it’s a testament to how he’s changed that it doesn’t immediately fill him with anger,  but rather a curious and vague sort of nostalgia for what used to be.  shuu doesn’t often wonder what the old him would’ve thought of who he was now —- he doesn’t often wonder, because he knows the old him wouldn’t have understood.  he would’ve seen his willing subjugation to kaneki as a weakness,  a debasing act beneath his own stature,  would’ve seen and felt the thoughts and feelings in his mind and heart and dismissed them as inconsequential.   would’ve seen shuu now and labeled him soft. too sentimental.    

but then again, shuu has come to realize the old tsukiyama had been spoiled, cruel, a self-absorbed asshole who was, above all,  lonely ; sitting atop a throne ruling a world filled with empty connections.  so, willing subjugation or not, he’s no less proud of who he is today than he was back then.  no less sure that this is where he is supposed to be,  fulfilling the purpose given to him not only by his king,  but by his father.  by matsumae.  by karren.  by yuuma and aliza,  to ensure their sacrifice hadn’t been for nothing.   for once,  he is fighting for something he genuinely believes in:  for a cause greater than just his own comfort. for the people he holds dear. for the empire his family built. 

if only it hadn’t taken losing most of them before —-

late nights  /  accepting

   “ oh~? do you? even after all you’ve seen? “  shuu peers at the girl ( almost a woman now ) from over the rim of his cup, curiosity mingling with no little amount of disbelief in his gaze.  peaceful? how laughable. truly,  he’s always wondered at some of the tales people ( human and ghoul alike ) tell themselves to soothe their own minds. perhaps she wants to appear strong, wise and shuu doesn’t want to deny her the sentiment wrapped in the form of a little white lie and yet, something about it irritates him, rubs the wrong way. it is stupid, naive to say with all they’ve been through:  it’s on the tip of his tongue to ask whether she thinks her mother was at peace, staring the doves in the face, knowing she’d be leaving her own daughter to their mercy. on the tip of his tongue to ask whether she thinks all the humans and ghouls they’ve killed, who died screaming, told themselves the same fable before death finally took them, violent and bloody. 

late nights  /  accepting

slim fingers are gently toying with the strands of hair curled around a dozing kaneki’s ear, whose cheek is pillowed upon shuu’s thigh ; a solid, comfortable weight made all the warmer by the palm curled over the space above his knee.  in his other hand,  he’s holding open a book: a cheap paperback ( all cracked spine, yellowing pages, bent corners ) someone had carelessly left laying about with a cover image and title intriguing enough for his curiosity to be piqued,  violet hues now seemingly fascinated by its content.  it’s a peaceful tableau,  a rare moment amidst all the chaos and uncertainty ---- and though he knows it’s a selfishness considering how these moments are usually birthed ( on the tail end of kaneki’s trauma twisting and warping his mind ) he hoards them greedily nevertheless. 

he’s not blind nor deaf to the opinions formed about him ; knows not many would, technically speaking, consider his presence much of a comfort.  yet, kaneki . . . kaneki does.  kaneki choses in these moments to lean on him, choses to disclose these doubts and these weaknesses to him:  not banjou,  not touka, but him ;  and more than it stroking his ego, or inflating his sense of self-importance, shuu finds himself genuinely warmed by the depth of that regard. 

it’s a warmth that’s reflected in his eyes as he lowers the paperback to peer down at the half-ghoul instead.  kaneki’s eyes are half-lidded and sleep-dark, features soft and boyish in his current pliant state, reminding shuu more than ever of the dark-haired boy he’d approached all those many years ago. “ a secret, hmmn? “ an index finger slips between the pages to mark where he’s left off and he taps the corner of it against his bottom lip in contemplation. undoubtedly kaneki means one of his,  mais ----

what’s the fun in that? 

“ naki likes to shower very early,  did you ever notice? “ the book’s lowered, the beginnings of a smirk tugging at the edges of his lips.  “ he claims it’s to do with water pressure, lack of privacy at any other time of the day,  but i know for a fact it is because he does not want anyone to know the only underwear he owns are apparemment  silk novelty boxers with cartoon iterations of forest animals printed upon them.  franchement, i don’t know why he’d be so embarrassed.  i certainly thought the pink unicorn print i caught him in looked very fetching. “

clearly the threat of pain and death he’d received upon the dénouement of that event has yet to stick as particularly threatening.