Aud

if you draw a baphomet with a fat pair of tittes but no nine incher to match then u are immediately sent to jail. this is true the other way around too btw

yeah no offense to confucius or anything but if i was about to embark on a journey of revenge i would simply not dig two graves

well yeah you dig it thats how you make a grave

A feel like this is a conversation between  Shakespeare's clowns, and I love that.

My boyfriend has to go to the ren fair for work but i can come and he wanted to do a matching costume. He was like “I want to be Frodo” and I was like “oh cool I can be Shelob” which was, apparently, not the couples costume he was thinking of

I was like “babe she has the most screen time of any woman in Return of the King” and my boyfriend was like “that cannot be true,” looked it up, and said “i can’t believe that’s true”

reblog to fucking bite the person you reblog from

women.

Universe brain: this dog loves me.

I went to reblog this and Aj said "if you were a cat you'd be pangur"

me, sitting on a throne barechested but wearing ornately engraved plate armor on my arms and legs and cloaked in fine almost translucent silks with an enormous snake draped over my shoulders: i got lost in the fantasy of this dope outfit and forgot what kinda post i was gonna make

Lost in the sauce

sorry the what? the what moray