My Little Part Of The Internet

So it started with on the 13th of June me and a server (bless her, she had my back through all of this) found out one of our coworkers, one of the dishwasher, was turning 21. Dishwasher is a really sweet kid, very hard working and very blunt about if you fuck up his food which I respect madly and will never cook his food cuz he scares me. So, the Head Bartender posted a ‘Happy Birthday!’ in the group chat. Dishwasher wasn’t working that day since requested it off so people were being nice and polite. Coworkers, general manager and owner were giving it ❤️ reactions.

You know, basic polite behavior.

The Head Chef (a man in his 40s) starts getting upset because no one wished him a happy birthday on his birthday. I was like “well I don’t know your birthday I would’ve wished you a happy birthday if I knew it…” server just stood there and shrugged kinda agreeing with me while eating.

Then Head Chef was like 7shifts (the app we use for schedules) tells everyone when it’s someone’s birthday.

Me and server exchanges glances, our faces pretty much like ???

Me: “no it doesn’t”

He says yes it does

I’m like “no [head chef] it really doesn’t. I can show you the notifications on my phone. It did not tell me it was [dishwasher]‘s birthday. The only reason I know is because he said last night that today was gonna be his birthday.”

He responds with “oh well it tells the manager chat.”

“Ohhh…” Me and Server locks eyes like ‘is he deadass?’

So server and I go back to talking. It’s a slow day so she’s bored and I let people rant. She’s like, “yeah, I’m surprised he’s 21, I thought he was 19, like me.”

I look up, “huh I thought you were 21?”

She laughs, “what makes you think that?”

I shrugged “you give 21 vibes, I dunno?” and I go back to cutting chicken. “Oh, I wonder if he’ll get a shift beer?”

Head Chef: “I doubt that, I given him a beer a year or two ago and he didn’t like it.”

“You didn’t know he was underage?” I asked, a little annoyed that he just did something like that after we had SOMEONE else get fired for doing something like that to a line cook last year.

Head Chef: “I’m just surprised [server] and [dishwasher] are able to work here, because there’s alcohol.”

“What?”

Head Chef: “People under the age can’t server alcohol.”

“They can, they just can’t prepare or pour it. It’s the same with convenience stores. Underage can sell it, they can’t handle it other than bagging it.” I respond. At this point the server is quiet and just watching while eating. She knew that the head chef was pushing my buttons for months and constantly interrupting our conversations and standing close to me.

“No Helen (me), it’s against the law. You couldn’t do that in Cheesecake Factory. Because it’s a liability for the servers to drink the customers drinks.”

I google it, because I legitimately am CERTAIN in our state 18-20 years olds can server drinks. I was right, and I read the law out loud. “I used to work at 7-Eleven when I was 18, and I could sell it easily. But maybe it’s against the law for restaurants to have them serve it past 11 since 7-Eleven stopped selling drinks at that time? I don’t know if that’s different.” At this point I’m trying to make peace, because it’s hot as balls and this man just wants to be right.

“7-Eleven is different, Helen. It’s against the law for a restaurant to do it.”

Me: “No, it’s LITERALLY not!” I am too stubborn apparently when people at dumb.

We go back and forth. And then he shifted his tone, “it’s against the policy of the restaurants, Helen. It’s against the policies.”

“Well, this restaurant’s policy is that they can server drinks.” I started getting more sassy.

Anyway, he was like “we aren’t arguing, you’re not listening to me. Just stop arguing with me.”

Now this is where I fucked up. I’ll admit it. He has been know to cuss in the kitchen and get huffy and scream at people. And I snapped, “we aren’t having an argument. But if you want a fucking argument, we’ll have a fucking argument.” Which a lot of people know me irl would know that it takes A LOT to piss the fuck off nowadays. I have mellowed out significantly as I have moved out of my immediate family home and out of the city they lived in. And normally I’d cry before I start cussing in anger. But it was like 100 degrees in that fuck ass kitchen and I was done with this man.

He starts cussing me out, pretty much firing me on the spot. Screaming at me to never cuss him out, and to get the fuck out of his kitchen. Which, I didn’t cuss him out, I cussed to emphasize something, but I didn’t call him a bitch or told him to fuck off or anything.

“Really [head chef]? Are you really kicking me out over an argument?” (Which I was incredibly sassy about it and I regret because it wasn’t professional). Server is gone only to realize later that she grabbed the bartender working. Technically, bartenders are on the same level of importance as the head chef is. Basically, the bartenders are managers of the front of the house if the managers or Head Bartenders aren’t there.

At this point the bartender comes in and says, “they can serve drinks. Let’s all calm down.” This man, is probably a golden retriever stereotype, he works at a school as his main job.

I start crying because my brain is like ‘shit, I’m fired’. Head Chef tells me to go back to work and don’t talk to him. I get back to work and apologize. He later starts guilting me for crying. Saying, “if you cry. I’ll cry.” And “Do you need a hug?” Then he pretty much start saying shit like “people are talking behind your back, saying you yell at them and boss them around.”

One, it’s a kitchen, I project my voice not yell. Yelling is different and can fuck up your throat, projecting you are using your diaphragm. I took singing classes for 8 years, it was something I was taught when I was like 5 years old.

So, now I’m sobbing at the prep table, because I started believing him. People weren’t really talking to me in the kitchen anymore and I never saw the other line cooks. When I looked at the serving window the server was on her phone looking at me and the bartender was right there.

He shouts at head chef, “leave her the fuck alone, dude. She’s clearly crying. Just shut up.”

That’s when all hell broke loose.

Head Chef: “Don’t you dare cuss me out! We’re just having a conversation! Get out of my fucking face!” He storms up to the serving window. I didn’t realize we have customers in the restaurant at this point and some of them are regulars. So everyone in the restaurant can see this.

Bartender: “Calm down dude. You are clearly making her cry. Just back off.”

Head Chef: “Fuck you! I never cussed any of you guys out! All you just fuck off!”

Server: “you have cussed at me more times than I can count.”

Bartender: “Chill dude. Just chill out.”

Head Chef: “Fuck this job! Good luck in this shit show without me!” And he slams his apron on the ground and storms out.

I’m still crying and now apologizing to the bartender. He is constantly telling me not to apologize and that he’s sorry I dealt with that first hand.

I start crying more, because he (and I didn’t realize this at the time) has been telling me that I can only trust him, that he was the only one who understood how angry I would feel if I was overworked to the point I didn’t get to see my s/o except for 2 hours a day. He would say that everyone talked shit about me and I believed him because he said he was the only competent person in the kitchen.

And he got me the job. Specifically asked for me after the interview. Said the kitchen needed a woman’s touch. And I was new. This is my first prep cook job. I worked as a dishwasher and inventory manager for my last two jobs before this one. So I was all sparkly eyes, “wow, he really thought of me instead of people with experience? That’s so nice.”

My hours revolved around only working with the head chef and the occasional other line cook. Occasionally I would say “I miss [employee].” He would respond with them doing something so bad that I would be like “oop” and stop bringing them up. (I found out the one employee I really liked because she was kickass never got fired, he just refused to give her hours after a family emergency she had. And she had receipts of the conversations.)

Anyway, on to the story!

Owner shows up, server immediately runs to him and tells him EVERYTHING. I’m a crying, shaking mess. Profusely apologizing and saying, “I didn’t want him to lose his job. I’m really sorry for everything.”

He’s like “nah, he quitted. As soon as he walked out those doors, he was done. You didn’t make him do anything. Do you know who was supposed to come in at 4? Do you wanna head home?”

“I don’t know, and I still have some prep to do.” I responded and he genuinely looked surprised.

Owner: “Well, take all the time you need. I need to call someone to come in and handle the line.”

That’s when one of the line cooks walks in and was like “why is [head chef] screaming in the parking lot? He screamed at me ‘good luck with those dumbasses’.”

I go into the back while owner explains what happened and I immediately call my s/o. Luckily he was not working and immediately answered because I never call him when I’m working unless I need to leave because I’m hurt. We talk and then I hang up.

I finish prep girl gotta make money still and general manager walks in. We talk and he hugs me. Tells me the bartender also feels like shit because he didn’t want it to escalate. General Manager says that “[head chef] can lash it but never takes it. Good riddance. But daaamn you got a backbone on you calling out his shit.”

I head home early, run into the head bartender on the way out. “Hey Helen. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Luckily, when I left, head chef showed back up and asked for a week off of work and they told him no, give the master key, and you’re not allowed back.

Haven’t seen him since.

New content for the people who already knew about the stuff above.

Me and s/o were talking about it the following days because it really shook me up and it came to light that he might have been attractive to me in a sense. Or he got off on the power of a younger woman relying on him for help. He basically kept me away from other people, said the other female employees were angry at me for being treated nicely by him. And he would say the only female line cook back there hated my guts. And the General Manager never worked in a kitchen. And the servers were dumbasses.

I heard all of that over and over for months.

I truly felt alone. And he was the only person who I thought I could rely on.

He would get angry at people when it was just me in the kitchen and I would get scared. He threatened to punch people and cut people’s hands off when they make silly jokes. He would make fun of the Dishwasher despite the kid being a very hard worker. And I just felt alone. And I only had him to rely on.

When I first met the head chef he said I looked like his ex he wanted to marry. He was excited that I was into nerd culture like video games and Star Wars and I could probably run tracks around what he knew about that stuff.

He changed my shifts so I didn’t see anyone else except on the weekends because I work Sundays and he didn’t. And because he planted that seed of me not feeling like I can rely on anyone but him, Sundays was horrible. I feel bad because I was probably a pain to work with. I apologized to the female line cook and explained and she said she understood but I think the damage was already done. I don’t think if we can ever be friends. I want to make it up to her but I’m not sure how.

The other line cook came back, the one I constantly missed and had receipts, and we bonded over the absolute shit show that is the kitchen now. We are basically the only two morning staff and she been teaching me the line slowly since we get too busy for one person. She helps me with prep, no questions asked.

Almost the entire night staff told me they didn’t think I was bossy and was really concerned that I believed the head chef (since everyone knew he was a pathological liar) but the one line cook understood completely. She said “because she only ever heard one side of the story for months on end. It was gonna happen since no one communicates.” So we are all working on that and the group chat is more lively than ever with constant information going back and forth.

I made everyone’s jobs harder. I can’t keep up with prep on my own and some of the line cooks aren’t happy with it. I’m trying so hard and not eating breakfast or lunch most days. My S/O doesn’t like that, and we are working on it.

My schedule is pretty much overtime every week. I am sometimes working 11 1/2 hour shifts. I lost my Thursday day off and it was replaced with Sunday. So now I am able to see my s/o again. But in return I lose my weekend which was Wednesday and Thursdays off.

I pretty much gave up writing and drawing. I haven’t drawn in over a month. I am too scared to. I don’t have the energy anymore. And I have a hard time focusing on video games but I will say that is getting better.

I don’t really communicate in the communities I am in anymore. I just… I have no energy. And I don’t want to bring down the mood. My brain is just so negative and tired. Sometimes I just doom scroll or couch rot and I know it’s upsetting my s/o.

My brain pretty much keeps replaying everything that man said to me to make me his perfect little cheerleader! Telling me everyone but him was incompetent. That everyone hated me but him. That I looked like his ex he wanted to marry! That he was a famous streamer! That his girlfriend was cheating on him and he kept asking me for advice. That he also almost died during childbirth, that he also has crappy eyesight. That he also gets motion sickness. And that he also was bisexual. And he also had health issues as a child. That he liked all the same media I did and I just didn’t notice.

I was so fucking naive that I let it happen. It makes the job feel dirty. Did I get this job because he actually believed I have potential or because he had a hard on for power over me? I don’t know. I wanna believe the prior but I can’t.