Shouting into the Void

So I had a funny dream the other night.

because to hear even Tumblr the "gay gender website" talk people only wear harnesses while strapped into a sex swing while being fisted

but the reality is that the harness, both leather and spandex, in gay male world is like stiletto pumps, a bright red lip stick, a short skirt or push up bra.

sure some people are wearing those things because they're about to get laid or hoping to. But lots of people wear them just to feel sexy, confident or powerful. And there's nothing X rated and "shouldn't be seen in public" about any of that.

lots of gay guys wear harnesses to bars or clubs not because its a sex thing, but because its a sexy thing, they feel attractive and confident.

I get that gay men feeling attractive and confident terrifies people, but if you're at Pride and a guy walks past you in jeans and a harness, either shirtless or over his shirt, he didn't violate your civil rights or do a sex thing in front of you, he's wearing a totally appropriate outside that makes him feel confident and powerful.

And it not being socially acceptable to talk about your own childhood is super alienating. Sometimes people want to know why, and any answer you can give them is going to be off putting.

One of them said something like, "it doesn't bother me that [Friend] was in residential mental health treatment, I just wish they wouldn't talk about it ALL the time".

The other replied, "Well, that was all of last year for them. So when they say 'when I was in treatment,' it's like when you say 'last year'."

Yeah, it's also just . . . shit that comes up in conversation.

If there's a conversation where people are talking about high school and ask about my high school experience, there's not really a better way to express "The bullying at my Jr high was really bad and my mental health issues really kicked into high gear, so I dropped out and got my GED and started college early."

Misgendered in every document because I have to be a ""man"" for insurance to decide it's actually gender affirming care and not cosmetic. Nevermind the multiple times over I've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria though, of course.

I just want my fucking surgeries done and over with so I can ditch all this technical and depressing to deal with bullshit.

Leaves me irate that people still seem to think being nonbinary is easier or that we don't struggle or exorsexism is some lesser evil.