Shouting into the Void

Mouse, aged 3.5, has been requesting The Book Of the Earthworm as their toilet book, although I abridge it as I read aloud - maintaining interest and speeding the process up. This was summarised as “earthworms are slimy,”

“WHAT,” barked an outraged Mouse.

“earthworms are slimy.”

“Earthworms NOT slimy,” Mouse said carefully.

“If you touch one, you’ll find they are slimy.”

“Mummy,” Mouse said, needing some clarity, and betraying a faint concern; “earthworms is turn into pepperoni?”

“What?”

“Earthworms is salami? If you touching an earthworm, and it is turn into pepperoni?”

But we all, again as a society, accept at some point that it's secretly not real. It's a fiction for children that we all say is real but actually isn't. Count von Count is a real vampire, and at the same time he cannot be a vampire, because he's on a show for children that is only pretend real. We all want him to be real, but we all know at a certain point that he isn't.

He is the Camarilla's long con, their best psyop. He is the only vampire allowed to publicly breach the Masquerade every day, because by doing so, he is making the Masquerade that much more believable. People who claim that vampires are real have to deal with others saying "What, like the Count on Sesame Street? Suuuuee, buddy, vampires are real...and they count things..."

In Europe: I see you supported Trump as late as 2026, after he made comments about annexing Greenland and disparaging Ukraine. Have you been sent here to help destabilize the European Union and support foreign incursion into European holdings? Prove it. Wait here for ten hours while we search all of your bags.

Central and South America: Were you personally involved in bombing fishing boats, kidnapping Venezuela's president, and running concentration camps for migrants on American soil? Are you here to identify targets, or get revenge on specific individuals who spoke up against this treatment and were deported? Prove that you aren't. Wait here for ten hours while we search all of your bags.

Character A: *Accidentally spills something on her shirt and it leaves a stain*

*Looks around to see if anyone noticed.*

*Takes a few steps to the side, moving along the static background texture causing the stain to ‘slide’ away and not be visible anymore*

[later in the episode, a completely different scene with completely different framing]

Character A: *Walks along with the rest of the cast across the screen into the same spot on the screen where she was when she spilled on her shirt. The stain was on the same spot in the background texture this whole time she just happened to avoid it throughout the episode til now. This causes the stain to ‘slide’ onto her shirt again, but shes further from the ‘camera’ now so the stain covers way more of her shirt.*

Character B: *Points the stain out and laughs at her for managing to get such a huge stain on her clothes*

Character A: *Gets embarrassed and defensive saying it’s the shot composition’s fault*

Character C: *Looks up and scolds the animator for not doing the cast’s laundry between scenes*

Faceless animator from off screen: *Tries to make excuses about not having time and trying to meet the episode deadline*

Character C: *Crosses her arms and turns her head away, says she’s disappointed in them*

Offscreen animator’s giant hand: *Reluctantly grabs the static clothing texture and pulls it away*

Character A: *Her shirt clothing texture is replaced with blank white void. She gets embarrassed and tries to cover herself up as if she was naked*

[Cut to short live action sequence of the disembodied hand of the animator throwing the static texture cloth into the washing machine, adding stain remover and starting the machine.]

[Time passes. Cut to disembodied hand tapping its fingers impatiently right before the washing machine dings complete. The hand throws it in the dryer. Resumes tapping impatiently]

[Time Passes. Cut to disembodied hand seemingly being asleep, then the dryer dings waking them up. Hand takes texture out of the dryer. Starts bringing the texture back to the set.]

Character C, offscreen: *Shouts at the animator demanding they iron it too*

[Cut to disembodied hand frantically ironing the texture.]

[Cut back to animated scene with main cast still at the same scene. Character A is still embarrassed and trying to cover herself up. Character B is asleep and loudly cartoonishly snoring. Character C is looking up at where ‘the animator’ is, impatiently tapping her foot and scowling]

Disembodied Hand: *Frantically tries to put the texture back in place. Accidentally puts it on upside down.*

Character C, scowling: *Raises an eyebrow*

Disembodied hand: *Frantically rearranges the texture and finally gets it in place correctly*

Character C, eyebrow still raised: *Asks if they’re forgetting something*

Disembodied hand, ‘standing’ on the ‘ground’ of the scene with its middle and ring finger posed as legs and its pointer and pinky as arms: *Goes into dogeza pose and desperately apologizes*

Character C: *Accepts apology, but gives a threatening warning not to let it happen again*

Disembodied hand: *’Runs’ offscreen frantically*

How's this? A vicious green-cheek conure caught mid-assault lol

(Some of you all may be too young to remember, but before the Matrix Keanu Reeves was not a big time star. And people would occasionally ask on various internet forums, "Why does Keanu Reeves keep getting work? He's a so-so actor. By Hollywood standards he's only average looking. His name isn't big enough to draw people. Why is he getting cast in so many movies?" And the answer would always be: producers loved him. If he was in your movie he would show up every day, on time, sober, with his lines memorized, ready to work. He never caused drama with the cast or crew. He was genuinely a pleasure to work with. And so he kept getting parts.)

TV Appreciation Week 2024  : Day 7 : Free choice → Favourite show nobody watched (Galavant)