dakota

Neil “I don’t wanna die” Perry and Todd “sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all” Anderson

White boy CONFUSES Mexican restaurant staff by ordering in perfect Mandarin.

its actually crazy how good music is. and its all different, too. like wow. huge deal really when you think about it

every person you meet will have one bit that only they find funny. it is important that you hate that bit as much as possible in order to enrich their experience of doing the bit. it is part of the enjoyment of the bit

"do it scared" this "do it tired" that. well no one ever talks about the fucking insurmountable "do it with greasy hair"

"? No" is such a foundational linguistic construction to my psyche. a hieroglyph. it should be a standard emoji

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like "wait a minute.. that's joe biden!!" amd he was like "welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!" and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like "That was a close call, Mr President" and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice

I feel like all the "they broke weird al" "weird al got serious we're so cooked" comments about the killing in the name cover are missing the point. that is not a broken man. comedy is politics. comedy has always been politics. weird al has been satirizing politics for a long time because he knows the court jester can say to the king what other people can't. by doing a serious cover of an explicitly anti-establishment song that his gen x and millennial audience knows by heart when he's built his career on parody, he's saying this can't be satirized anymore and he's saying it in a very deliberate way that his audience will understand. those aren't the actions of a broken man, they're the actions of a man who is trying to tell you something. are we going to listen?

disabilities are not superpowers, that being said having auditory processing disorder my entire life made me insane at freestyling, cause my mental libary of homophobic phrases (rhymes) is massive and keeps expanding every day

tbh i think the funniest phenomena that's been happening in the last couple years is "youtuber, having gone too deep into the research hole, has been made an investigative journalist against their will"

okay guys the weight gain prank was funny at first but you can come out now lol. cmon guys quit it. i know youre pranking me. rofl. lmfao. lmf. ao. ahah h

i am dumber & smarter than u think. do not estimate me

Ozzy Osbourne’s death is like the death of a crusty white 3 legged no toothed dog in it’s mid 20s. It’s shocking and heartbreaking, but the shock mostly comes from the fact that it lived so long and through so much bodily strain that you kind of subconsciously assumed it was immortal.