So, I see you've decided to take the scenic route.

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

“What will I be if I don’t graduate/don’t get a promotion/don’t get my shit together/don’t make this relationship work?” You would be a perfectly normal human being who is inherently valuable and who possesses many talents and good traits

“What if I fail even when I tried my very best?” The world keeps turning and you will find many other things you will succeed at.

“Raw milk is better for you as long as you boil it” so true bestie now imagine if we could like. Super boil it. To really get all the bacteria out. And if we could do that quickly and efficiently. Imagine that.

Pasteurization is a lower temperature even than boiling. It's just "heat it up to a high enough temperature that the bacteria are dead but the flavor of the food is not severely affected, then let it cool down."

whenever i see a baby in public i wish i were like a powerful faerie god mother character who could give the baby a gift like “you’ll never get a cold” or “math will always make sense to you” or something like bein’ great with string instruments but I don’t have any powers that I know of but it doesn’t stop me from trying so every time I see a baby in public I tell the adult with it “what a beautiful baby” and it makes them smile and then I pretend I can take the goodness of their smile and I look at the baby and I think very hard “you will have a good life, even if it’s hard, you will end up happy” and I’m just hopin’ the magic kicks in at some point

faerie: for your service, I will grant you one boon me: cool can it be the power to grant boons faerie, looking through the manual: uh,

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.

just invented something at dinner called soundboard storytime where i explain the plot of hamlet to my younger sister & her friend while our other sister punctuates every sentence with a choice sound bite from her phone

“hamlet STABS the man behind the curtain, thinking it’s claudio—- but it’s POLONIUS. [vine boom] [OOOO MA GAAAWWWD] that’s right, he just killed his girlfriend’s FATHER. [WAT DA HEEEELLLLLL] [BRUH.mp3]”

the art of youtube poop will survive after the singularity

Incredibly violent take of mine but I actually don’t think you need to relate to a story in any way to enjoy it. You can enjoy a story even if you can’t point at a character and insert some aspect of your personality or identity into them. In fact I would argue the need for a character like that to be present in every single story you experience is a sign of stunted growth.

It is a peaceful and serene take, actually.

It fucking astounds me how many people completely understand “being treated like a child is horrible” but never reach the very logical conclusion of “we should not treat children like that”