koolmint

super fucking obsessed with this stupid guy

(dron fic on ao3 titled meet me there ok?)

Exhale. Scoot. Stop to catch breath. Repeat. Exhale. Scoot. Stop to catch breaht. Repeat.

Exhale. Scoot. Stop to catch breath. Repeat.

On April 7, 2026, all humans suddenly, without explanation, became immortal. They stopped dying. They stopped aging. They stopped being able to conceive babies. Fifteen thousand years later, they would still have no idea why this came to pass.

The date became known as “The Moment.” Over the next few thousand years, these humans would solve all of their problems. War, poverty, disease, and Lunchables would become extinct ideas. They would develop nanites to prevent catastrophic accidents. They would finally perfect space travel and visit a neighboring solar system…only to find it barren.

After thousands of years of discovery, humans became bored. They had achieved everything they ever wanted, and had nothing left to look forward to except a theoretical eternity of life; at this point they had also disproven the theory of the heat death of the universe.

So they instead focused their existence on football.