Foxy's Writing Cave

When you got to your classroom everyone gathered around you and started making questions, now outloud.

“Who’s this, Minhyuk?” Kihyun, one of his friends asked leaving the public in awe for an answer that was more than obvious.

“My girlfriend, of course” he said letting go of your hand to put his on your waist and pull you closer to his body. It took you a few seconds to smile at him and place a tender kiss on his cheek.

You never thought this would be this hard… pretending to love someone you barely knew, to look happy when you were actually in pain, to make everyone believe a lie just for one single person to care about it.

“Is she really?… I’ve never seen or heard of her before” spit this one girl who was also friends with him, her words full of hatred and despise.

Although everyone around you didn’t recognize you when you had always been there, you knew them well. You enjoyed looking at people and their behaviour, so you were one step ahead. She had always been into him (like almost every person at school, to be honest) but he wasn’t interested.

“I could say the same about you! Minhyuk had never told me about any… Sara…?” you replied by reading the necklace she had with her name. You saw her clenching her fists but you didn’t care if you sounded rude, you were not in the mood to take anyone’s shit. “I’m Y/N, by the way” you faked a smile once more.

“Isn’t her name beautiful?” Minhyuk said pinching your cheek. Sara rolled his eyes and Kihyun faked throwing up, which made you giggle. Kihyun always seemed to you like a fun guy to hang out with, always expressive and sassy. You liked that.

“Okay, everyone take your sits” the teacher entered the room and you all did as he said.

During the whole day you sat right next to him in every class. He kept glancing at winking at you with that bright smile of his, and for a second, you could’ve sworn you had flustered in the middle of all the melancholy you were drowning in.

The bell rang indicating that was all for the day. You waited until everyone left, it had been a long day of pretending and you wondered if you were strong enough to keep it going for God knows how many more time. You took your backpack and walked to the door. Your heart skipped a beat when you lifted your head and ran into Minhyuk’s body.

“Oh God, you startled me!” you said. “I thought you were heading home”

“I’m sorry. And no, why would I go home without you? I only left to brought you an iced coffee!” he said smiling some more. It made you feel bad the fact he was taking all this too seriously.

“Minhyuk, it’s okay. It’s just us, there’s no one here. You don’t have to do this” you muttered.

“What about it? Can’t I bring you coffee? I know it’s your favorite” he said shaking it in front of your eyes.

“How do you even know that?” you smiled, and this time it was for real.

“You have one everyday after school. I’ve seen you when you go home. I don’t know if I ever told you but we live kind of close” he said while taking your bag from you to carry it himself.

“Oh…” you blushed. You would have never thought he knew you existed before all this happened. It felt nice to know someone you had no bound with at all saw you and cared enough to remember a tiny stupid detail like your love for the iced americano.

“Shall we go?” he asked you and held the door for you. You only nodded. No wonder why he was everyone’s crush. Besides being unbelievably pretty, he was such a gentleman and usually nice to people.

You walked together just looking at the scenery until after a while he decided to break the silence.

“I’m sorry he didn’t show up. I know you were counting on it” he said looking at you with disappointment in his eyes.

“Whatever…” you knew he really meant it, but you tried to pretend it didn’t affected you as much as it did.

“I know you care, Y/N. If not why would have you come to me?” he looked at you in the eyes and you could tell there was no point in trying to hide how you were feeling from him. He knew indeed.

Your eyes filled with tears you were determined to contain by biting your lip so hard you thought it would explode. You could feel the blood in your mouth but you were too busy seeing how your boyfriend kissed someone else with all the eagerness he had never had with you.

Deep inside, you were not surprised. You could see everything now so clearly, all those little  signs you were too blind to notice because of how in love you were with him. “Let’s keep this between us” he had said, “I’m not public kind of person, it’s better to have our privacy. You know the boys and girls from school… they would only disturb of relationship if they found out”. Pfff, as if he was that important at high school. He was popular and had a lot of friends but girls didn’t chase him as much as Minhyuk.

You never really understood why he wanted to keep it private, but he did try his best to make you feel like it was a great thing, the whole “secret dating” was the adventure of a lifetime. It made you feel important. Sending him little notes with hearts in class and the online chatting with the code names on your phones not to arise any kind of suspicions, all the meetings in the parking lot to make out during breaks and after school, and the adrenaline not to get caught by the gossip girls of the school. Besides that, he was never available for you, he always had something to do or somewhere else to be.

Only now you had realized that all those things you thought that made you feel special were just that, things. He was never the one making you feel like that himself. It was all a creation of your heart taking all the signs the wrong way.

“Privacy”? now it was more than evident it was only the word he used for “Ease to cheat”. He had never walked you home or taken you out for coffee or ice cream, or given you presents because it was “too risky”. Damn right it was, maybe his other secret girlfriends from school would find out they were not the only ones. Or maybe you were the only one… the only one believing all his lies.

It still hurt you how he could do something like that to you. You who had given him everything. Your love, your time, your trust… and apparently that didn’t mean a thing to him.

You wanted revenge, you wanted him to regret using you, and you wanted to stop feeling like such an idiot for falling for such simple tricks.

You left them alone in the parking lot to keep having fun and went home with that in mind, he would pay.

After walking (or sprinting) a couple of blocks you saw Minhyuk, the most beautiful and popular guy of school. With no dignity left, you didn’t give it a second thought and you ran to him.

“Hi…” you said, immediately regretting it. You had never talked before and you doubted he knew who you were.

“Hey!” he answered with a wide smile. Not the reaction you were expecting at all, but you were definitely not going to complain.

“Okay I’m just gonna say this quite quick. I am Y/N, we are in some classes together. My boyfriend has been cheating on me for I don’t know how long and I know you are very popular at school and-”

“And you want me to pretend I’m your boyfriend to make him jealous, don’t you?” he finished your sentence.

“How… how did you know?” you asked perplexed.

“I’ve watched a lot of movies for teenagers… that’s usually what happens” he giggled. “However, they asked their best friend. Not some dude they don’t know” he said as if the whole situation was funny to him, which only made you feel more embarrassed.

“Okay, I know this was a mistake… I’m sorry. It was just too recent and I’m not even thinking clearly. I’m really sorry” you said ready to walk away.

“I will”

“What?!” you couldn’t believe it. It must be some kind of joke.

“I will help you. You seem nice and cheating is such a nasty thing. I don’t like that so yeah… why wouldn’t I?” a smile appeared on his face again.

“Wow… thanks?” you said still in shock. It was too good to be true, you were a little scared that he was up to something bad.

“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend, though” he looked at you raising an eyebrow as he wasn’t fully believing your story.

“Yeah, apparently I never did” you said wiping your tears away with the back of your hand right before they rolled down your cheeks.

There was a long pause. He felt guilty for saying those things to you especially when you were so vulnerable.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at school, then” he offered you his hand to shake it. “Nice to meet you Y/N, we are gonna rock it. Don’t worry” he held your hand and looked into your eyes with the warmest stare and then you thought he felt like someone you could trust.

Sadly, the last person you had trusted was not worth of it at all.

“I'm sorry I dragged you into this" you said really feeling guilty for making him follow your silly plan. A plan you had no clue if it was gonna work.

“Don't be” he places his hand on your shoulder. “You didn't drag me into anything. It was my choice. Besides, I think it's fun” he smiled. How was it so natural on him to do it all the time?

“Yeah…” you said.

“You don't look like you are having fun, though. Come on, Y/N. This isn't about this guy, this is about you feeling better! Let's go to the park” he said grabbing your wrist and running to the little park which was a couple of blocks away from your house.

“What are we here for?” you said still bitter. You were not yet on that point of doing stuff for fun.

“We are going to have a nice time! Come on, get on this swing" he said all enthusiastic and it made you think… “do I really deserve to be feeling like shit for someone who isn't worth the pain?” Of course you didn't. And if there was someone else trying to lift your mood up for nothing in exchange, why would you reject such an offer?

“Okay…” you said and sat on the swing while he started pushing you gently to get higher and higher.

You had a good time. You played, talked and laughed a lot. When the time came, he walked you home.

“I see a smile that I didn't see today at school, and I'm glad” he said giving you your backpack back.

“I did have fun at the park, that's why” you replied happily. “Thank you, Minhyuk. For real” you were being honest, now you didn't feel like you had to fake anything.

“It was my pleasure. See you tomorrow?” he asked and you nodded so he started walking away.

“Hey, why are you going on that direction? We just came from there?” you said curious.

“I live a couple of blocks back from here. I'll come pick you up in the morning” he winked at you and left.

You couldn't believe he had walked past his house to leave you in your front door. He was really a great guy so at least now it was not going to be hard for you to pretend being with him because it was something you probably would enjoy.

Days passed by and your fake relationship was still there. You could see the expression on your ex boyfriend’s face anytime he saw you with Minhyuk. His face got all red and he wouldn't stop staring at you, but as anyone besides you two knew about what you had had, he could not make any kind of complain in public and he ended up swallowing his anger. Your phone wouldn't stop ringing and your chat was overloaded with messages from him, but you didn't answer or reply to any of them.

With time, you realized it was not a relationship you would like to get back to fill that void he had left in your heart. Why would you want back someone who was ashamed of you, who was never willing to spend time with you, someone who never had any nice gestures with you even when he made you believe he cared for you, but never enough?

A couple of weeks after the whole farce, Minhyuk invited you to have a picnic during lunch break so you could be alone and away from all the glares from everyone at the cafeteria who were not over your “relationship” yet. You could say you two had actually become friends after all.  You liked spending time with him. He listened to you, he made you laugh, he brought you food and coffee for no special reason and he enjoyed being in your company. It felt nice having someone to count on and who made you feel like you were not wrong when you decided to trust him.

While you were eating and laughing at what had happened in the last class with Kihyun who had fallen asleep and the teacher had thrown at him a paper ball to wake him up, you saw your boyfriend making his way through the parking lot straight to you.

You froze. You had worked so hard to ignore him that now it seemed impossible considering there was no one else there.

“Come here, kiss me” Minhyuk said as soon as he saw him getting closer.

“What?! Are you out of your mind?” you asked laughing nervously. Despite your amazing performance at school, you had never gone that far, it was just acting and you didn’t know if you were emotionally and psychologically ready to kiss him out of the blue.

“Come on! It’s now or never. This is the moment you have been waiting for since the beginning. This is your revenge” he affirmed confidently.

“Minhyuk, I’m not sure that I-” you started.

“I’m sorry” he cut you off and pulled him closer to you for the best kissed you had ever had in your life. His lips felt so soft and gentle against yours and his hand firm but tender on your cheek made you feel safe and loved. It wasn’t a staging anymore. It was real, your racing heart and the butterflies in your stomach couldn’t lie. You just let yourself drown in the kiss, feel it until the very last corner of your body, you ran your fingers through his hair and it was perfect. He was perfect.

“Y/N! What the hell do you think you are doing?” your ex asked furious you could see the fire in his eyes and the smoke coming out of his ears.. You turned your head at him. You had totally forgotten he was there. It was like Minhyuk had shut the rest of the world down.

“Hummm… making out?” you said after biting your lower lip, you were still too drunk from that kiss to care.

“What about me? You’ve been going around with this asshole all this time, you don’t answer my calls or texts, how dare you do this to me?” he claimed indignant.

“Now you know how it feels like, don’t you?” you grinned mischievously

“Excuse me? You are the one being a bitch here”  he said and Minhyuk took one step to the front ready to fight him. You stopped him by holding his hand, he knew you were somehow telling him to calm down.

His words didn’t hurt you anymore, he couldn’t hurt you anymore. You had discovered that you were the one who gave him the power to hurt you when you fell in love with him, and as you had given it to him, you also had the power to take it away.

“Come on sweety, I might have been an idiot but not for as long as you wanted. I’m just giving back what I got. The only difference between you and me is that at least I wasn’t a coward to hide it from you” you spat your words disgusted.

He was in shock, he probably thought he had some kind of privilege in your life. Well he had thought wrong.

“Being cheated on looks good on you, it suits your personality” Minhyuk said winking at him and holding your hand while you both turned around and dumped him there speechless not caring at all about him or the food you had left behind.

He looked at you proud without letting go of your hand.

“So… what does it feel like falling for your fake boyfriend?” he teased you.

“Stop!” you were still blushing.

“I will answer  for you. I feel lucky because I got the chance to get to know you through this and to confirm every single expectation I had. You are amazing, you are pretty, you are smart and the best fake girlfriend I have ever had” he giggled “Would you like to stop this beautiful lie and make it real?” he asked smiling at you.

Everything about how this all started had been so bitter and sad but you didn’t feel any of that anymore. Minhyuk was a sunshine, your sunshine. The guy you didn’t know you deserved and who you enjoyed being with the most.  The guy who took you to the park and walked you home, the guy that despite being so popular was always kind and nice to the people who dared to reach him, the guy who was always carrying and willing to help, the guy that ever since you first talked to him tried to make you smile.

“How could I say no?” you answered blushing even more.

“Great! Then I can do this…” he said grabbing your wrist again like the very first time and taking you to the cafeteria. He stood on top of a table with no shame. “Hey, everyone. I know you already know that but, this is my girlfriend Y/N" he yelled and then got down to kiss you for the second time, just like that, with everyone watching. It was a little embarrassing as you were definitely not used to that at all, but that was him and you loved it.

And that could only mean one thing, he cared about you like he had since the beginning.

You smiled at him when your lips separated.

Looking back, it had been a beautiful lie indeed.

A/N: That’s all for today,  I hoped you enjoyed it. I would really appreciate some feedback as it’s my very first High School AU so I would like to know what I did right and things I can improve for some next time! Thank you so much for taking your time to read this, and have a good day/night. Take care!!!

Ps. I DO NOT own any of the gifs or pics used on this post, credit to the rightful owners.

You kept eating popcorn with your free hand, your eyes glued to the screen of the television, too busy to notice his sight had been on you for the past few minutes. Unable to look away from the main reason why he was willing to meet up every Wednesday for the most tragic movie nights ever, he found his solace from the pathetic plots, in the possibility to look at you as if he was memorizing every single feature of your face, that face that to his eyes, was perfect and flawless in every single way.

“Dude, this is by far the worst movie we've watched” you mumbled shaking your head in disapproval after a long yawn, which brought his eyes back to the tv.

“Can you explain to me why do we keep watching trashy movies instead of good ones every once a week, then?” he said rolling his eyes pretending he had been watching it.

“So I can complain about them, of course. The worse they are, the better” you said still staring at the screen. “Look, that dumbass is gonna let her go just because he is too shy to tell her how he feels… classic”

Wonho cleared his throat after almost choking at your comment, for a second he could swear you were talking about him.

“Yeah… that’s so pathetic…” he scuffed with a fake laugh, feeling terrible inside.

“When he makes up his mind is gonna be too late. Honestly… I don’t know why some guys are so stupid… If they like the girl, why can’t they just say it? How hard can that be?” you argued.

“... Maybe he’s afraid that she doesn’t like him back…” he muttered almost for himself, but you still heard him.

“Pfff… as if. She is all over him all the time, she feels happier whenever he is near her, she looks at him as if there was no one else in the world, how would he even think she doesn’t feel the same?” you were a little too tipsy to realize you were actually talking about yourself, but were lucky enough to have the movie plot as a backup.

You were upset with the guy in the movie because it reminded you of yourself. You had been into Wonho for the longest time and had never been brave enough to tell him how you felt because you had no clue to guess if he liked you back, and you rather be with him even if it was as a friend, than coming clean and lose him forever.

You had to admit you had used the beers as an excuse to have some kind of closer contact with him, but it hadn’t worked and it was killing you inside. He had just stood there like a stone while you were expecting him to hug you or pull you closer to him. But he had done nothing. Nothing!

Now you were getting mad at him too, you shouldn’t be, you had no right to be, but you were. You felt it wasn’t fair liking someone who wouldn’t like you in the same way. And after all those hints you  had sent him that night, if he wasn’t answering to any of them, it definitely had to mean he didn’t see you with the same eyes you saw him.

“But what if she wasn't over him? What if she looked at him like any other good friend?” Wonho asked hoping to find and answer or maybe the encouragement words he needed to confess to you despite the result of his actions.

“Then he shouldn't, that's obvious. Why would he do such a thing to himself just to get rejected. It's stupid" you said out loud as an advice to that voice in the back of your mind that kept telling you to tell him how you felt.

Wonho lowered his head and looked down taking your harsh words as if they were meant for him.

“But you know what? You don’t need to worry because like in every shitty movie, he will get the girl in the end, they always do" you rolled your eyes and sat down straight avoiding any contact with him.

“Not in real life, though. That doesn't happen" he argued getting upset too. Why couldn't he be like one of those guys in the movies, why couldn't he get the girl.

The atmosphere was getting tense, you both feeling angry with life and with yourselves ignoring how wrong you were about everything you were taking for granted about each other.

Suddenly, the door opened and Shownu, Wonho’s flatmate and who had been your best friend since kindergarten, came into the room. His shocked expression made you realize things were not exactly okay.

“Hi guys, how is it going?” he asked waving at you.

Tumbling a couple of times on your way from the couch to him, you hugged him tight and threw your arms around his neck.

“Wow… I see you have been drinking, huh?” he said holding you from your waist so you wouldn't collapse on the floor. You were barely making any effort to stay on your feet.

“Yeah, do you wanna join us? But wait… have you eaten yet?” you cupped his face in your hands “You can't drink without eating… like me” you laughed, self conscious of your current state and pinched his cheeks. Shownu was like a teddy bear, so cute and squishy you couldn't help but doing it.

Wonho felt a lump on his throat at the sight of the two of you. Shownu was that guy from the movies, the one who would get the girl. It was obvious, you were always so clingy and touchy with him, always worrying for him, and you had been friends for the longest time. It was just matter of time for Shownu to tell you he liked you, because who wouldn't? You were so beautiful, smart and funny, it would be impossible he didn't like you, and of course you would correspond to that feeling because Shownu was extremely attractive and caring. He had everything to lose so he was definitely not a threat for his friend.

“I think it is time to stop. Come on, it's better if you go to bed now" Shownu said and carried you to his room while you mumbled you were fine and started falling asleep. Maybe you had drank more than you should have. Even then, you didn't make any effort to stay there or keep drinking. You were feeling terrible as it was, believing Wonho wasn't interested in you the same way you were in him, and being there with him would only make it worse.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked Wonho right before going into his room with you still in his arms.

“Yeah, I'll just clean this up and go to sleep" he nodded and forced a smile. He was bitter inside but he didn't want to be rude to Shownu. He was his friend after all and it wasn't his fault you probably liked him better.  

He took all the empty bottles and the popcorn to the kitchen trying to get you off his mind. When he went back to the living room he found Shownu cleaning all the mess you two had left behind.

“I guess you learn the hard way she is not a good drinker" he giggled.

“I had no idea. But clearly you did…” he said, unable to contain the jealousy that was eating him alive.

“Well yeah… when we were in college she used to get drunk often. I had to take her home every time, after four beers she would get crazy and then pass out. You actually missed the fun part, when she stands on the table and starts singing”

“It’s weird, though… I thought she didn't like drinking.

“Oh she doesn't, my friend. But you know… sometimes we do stupid things for greater causes" Shownu winked at him.

What was that supposed to mean? What would the “greater cause” be?

“You better wear earplugs, it might get a little noisy" he chuckled and Wonho almost lost his mind.

Was he planning to do something with you in that state, and even worse while he was right in the next room?

He wanted to say something but who was he to do so? It would be really out of place.

“Goodnight, I hope you can sleep well. It will be harder for me” Shownu said with a warm smile and Wonho cringed inside.

Why was he telling you all this. He didn't need or want to know. He got it, they were friends, and it was not like he hadn't shared this kind of stuff before, but about you? It was like torture.

“Don't do anything you'll regret later” he let out by impulse. It was sort of his last try even though he knew it was useless.

“Okay…?” he answered confused and closed the door of his room behind him.

Wonho ran to get his earplugs and locked himself in his own room, he didn't want to know or hear whatever happened over there.

He got under a million blankets and closed his eyes praying that when he opened them it would be a brand new day, hopefully with you and Shownu gone. But as soon as he did, infinite mental pictures of the two of you started flashing through his head.

He rolled in bed, he walked around his room, he cleaned his desk, but nothing helped him get his mind off Shownu and you.

His friend was a gentleman, so he didn't understand how he had said all those things earlier, he never thought he was the kind of person who took advantage of a girl in a vulnerable position. Especially one he was totally into.

But what could he do? Shownu didn't even know he liked you, and he wouldn't tell him. It was true you and Wonho spent lots of time together as well, and since Shownu had introduced you two, you had become great friends, but he had always had a feeling that there was some feelings between you and Shownu, and he didn't want to get in the way, also because he knew deep inside he didn't stand a chance.

‘Maybe I just need some fresh air’ he thought. He opened the door of his room and saw Shownu sleeping on the couch. He frowned confused and took his earplugs off now that it seemed like a safe environment without you there.

He walked all the way to the stairs that took to the tiny rooftop. It was his favorite place in the house as it had a nice view of the whole city and it was outdoors.

He got to the rooftop already feeling better thanks to the soft breeze grazing his face. His heart skipped a beat when he saw you with your back facing him and heard you sobbing.

“Y/N, oh my god, are you okay?” he ran to you concerned.

You dried your tears with the back of your hand and pretend nothing had happened. The last thing you wanted in that moment was Wonho seeing you like this. He was for sure going to ask questions you didn't want to answer.

“I'm fine" you said as he sat down beside you.

“Did he do something to you?” he asked softly.

“Who? Shownu? Of course not. What even?” you were perplexed with that question.

“Sorry I… it's just that I saw him sleeping on the couch and then I see you crying…” he explained.

“Oh, that... Well… this is kind of embarrassing to admit… When I get drunk I snore very loudly, he couldn't sleep so he went to the living room. I feel bad because it's your place, I should be the be the one sleeping there, but he insisted and I was too dizzy to argue” you told him with your eyes on the city lights.

“So that's what he meant with the noise thing…” he muttered to himself and felt so damn dumb for overthinking so much a million ridiculous scenarios in his head.

“What? Oh God… you thought Shownu and I…?” you asked and bursted out of laughter. Wonho’s face got all red.

“Come on, would you blame me for thinking that way? You two are too close, and you never know” he somehow laughed too at his own stupidity.

“God, no… I love him, but he is like a big brother to me” you said with all the honesty, but Wonho raised his eyebrow like he wasn't buying it. “I'm serious! I'm not gonna lie to you, there was a time when I did like him as something more, but it was so long ago. We were in college when I started having feelings for him” you didn't know why you were telling him all this but it was like you couldn't help the words slipping out of your lips. Wonho had always been that person you always felt comfortable with, he made you feel safe and happy, and you knew you could trust him with this kind of stuff.

“Did you ever tell him?” he asked curious. You sighed and took a long breathe before answering.

“Well… It's not something I'm proud of” you smiled bitterly. “Back then, we used to go out a lot with friends. My feelings for him were getting stronger and stronger, I couldn't keep holding them in my chest. I needed to tell him but I was too shy to do it. So I started drinking so I could have the guts to confess, but it didn't seem to work. So one time I got so freaking wasted I thought I was ready, so I stood on a table in the bar, pointed at him and said ‘You, yes, you. I like you a lot!’. All our friends were there and they were waiting for an answer. You know Shownu, he is just too good for this world. So he helped me get down from there and he kissed me not to make it look like he was rejecting me. But I knew he didn't like me back the moment his lips met mine, I could feel it” you made an effort not to look at him in the eyes. Even after all this time, it was something that made you feel ashamed.

“I'm really sorry it turned out that way" Wonho was shocked, he wasn't expecting such a story, and Shownu had never said a word about it.

“Don't be. I’m actually grateful. He is such a great man, you know? That night he took me home, and the day after when everyone started asking about us he told them he liked me but I had just said that because I was drunk. He took the shame for me, and that's why I love him. He had always taken care of me, so the least I can do is return the favor by taking care of him. With time I got over him as a crush. But if there's something I learned out of all that was that life ain't no movie, so I decided I would never do such a thing again" you finished talking and felt like a huge weight was off your shoulders. You were also glad that you didn't tell Wonho how you felt a while ago, and if you could get over Shownu you would get over him eventually.

When you least expected it, you felt some more tears running down your cheeks.

Wonho couldn't hold back and he dried them with his thumb cupping your face in his hands. He looked at you and under the moonlight and he could swear he had never seen something as beautiful as you.

“I'm sorry I was grumpy and made us miss the ending of the movie" you said trying to change the topic. You were frozen as you had never had him so close to you and your heart was threatening with jumping out of your chest.

“I think I can fix that” he said smiling brighter than the stars and it only made you wanna die even more.

“Now? I don't think so, because Shownu is sleeping in the living room and-"

Wonho cut you off out of the blue with a kiss. A kiss you thought was never bound to happen. It took you a couple of seconds before you could close your eyes and kiss him back. You had so many questions but that was definitely not the moment to ask them. His lips felt so soft and tender against yours, you could easily tell the difference between this kiss and the one Shownu have you.

It was so natural how everything inside you started glowing the moment you two were connected, and you could totally feel the same vibes coming out of him too.

When he finally let go, he pecked your lips still smiling and you couldn't believe it was happening.

After you kissing him back Wonho knew you felt the same, there was no need to ask. After everything Shownu had said and the story you told him, he just had put all the pieces together.  He was the greater cause why you had been drinking that night and also the reason why you were bitter while watching the movie. So he decided to take his chance even if there was the possibility to get rejected.

“Why? How did you-" you finally gathered some courage to ask him, still blushing.

He grabbed your hand looking back to the city lights for you not to notice his cheeks were as red as yours.

“Maybe the guy does end up getting the girl in the end. It's just that in real life it takes way more than a couple of hours" he giggled.

“I'm glad he confessed after so long, even when he thought she didn't like him back. I have the feeling they will be very happy together” you squeezed his hand softly.

“Just like a movie" he said and kissed you again.

A/N: Okay... so that was it, I’m back at writing after a while and I’m glad I can give you some stories. I hope you guys liked it, I would love to know what you think, any kind of feedback will be really appreciated. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this, and have a good day/night. Take care!!!

Ps. I DO NOT own any of the gifs or pics used on this post, credit to the rightful owners.

He didn't know what to do or what to say. He wanted to comfort you but suddenly, he had no words or courage to do so.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, almost whispering, after refraining from placing his hand on your shoulder.

"Please, don't you ask me that" you answered with your voice cracking a little.

"Was it that bad?" he said looking down.

You turned your head to face him as if that would make you be able to see his hurt expression. You opened your mouth to reply such a question but only a deep sigh came out.

"Brian, it was everything but bad" you smiled bitterly and he sighed in relief as he felt a heavy weight had been taken off his shoulders.

"Then what is it...? I mean, don't get me wrong, I know this must be hard for you as I know how much you love Jae... He is my best friend, this is also awkward for me" he said and hearing his name triggered something inside you.

You burst into tears again and this time he didn't contain himself, he sat next to you and held you tight in his arms.

"Brian... you don't understand" you managed to say while sobbing.

"It's okay. This is it, remember? It's over now. Just this one time to release the tension, right? That's what Jae himself said. He is cool with this. He was the one who kept telling us to do this someday. And it's done. I must confess I didn't think it would happen, but it did and we didn't even plan it. You don't have to worry about it anymore, you didn't cheat on him" he said, and even though every single word he said was true, he felt like he was stabbing his heart with each one of them. He was also feeling guilty, but admitting it would only make you feel worse.

You couldn't stop crying and his heart was breaking with every tear you shed.

"Y/N, I agreed to do this because I thought you wanted it. I swear to God if I had known it would make you feel this way I would've never done it" he confessed overflowing with remorse.

"Please don't think like that" you said, you could tell he was now blaming himself and it hurt you. He deserved better than that. "I'm not like this because all this seems like I cheated on Jae. Something  deep inside me tells me I didn't, and that you didn't do anything wrong either" you tried to clear things up.

"Then why are you crying?” he asked helplessly. “Y/N, I just wanted to make you happy for once. I would do anything for you not to be sad" he didn't care how reckless his comment was. He knew he was kind of exposing himself to you, but at this point he didn't even care.

Luckily for him, he was safe. It had been years and you had never noticed his feelings towards you and tonight wasn't the exception, your mind was too cloudy to process his explicit words and their meaning.

He had always made the greatest effort for you, and especially Jae, not to notice he had been deeply and madly in love with you for the longest time. You were his best friend’s girlfriend and there was no way he would get in the middle of such a strong relationship between two of the people he cared about the most.

Despite all that effort, it was obvious there was something between you and Brian. Some kind of chemistry in the way you looked at each other, the way you smile at each other. It wasn’t intentionally of course, but you couldn’t help but smile at his kindness and his warm personality. You thought of it as some kind of celebrity crush. He was hot indeed and he was such a wonderful person but you never thought of him as something more than a friend, or a guy you were really attracted to because of his looks.

Jae had called it ‘sexual tension’ and for some reason he found it funny. It was definitely not the kind of thing a boyfriend would be so chill about, and it was nothing but  awkward for you. At some point you had thought he was faking it and he was actually feeling jealous, because he was normally very insecure on the inside, but you could see in his eyes whenever he said it, he wasn’t lying.

It was way more than sexual tension for Brian, though. He wanted you, of course, but beyond that he loved you. He had from the very beginning. He had fell for your eloquence, for the way it was so easy and natural for you to make anyone around you smile, for how loving and caring you were. He fell for your eyes and how they shined so bright that just by looking at them he felt there was hope even in the darkest days. He fell for how familiar you felt and how nothing could be wrong whenever you were near him.

“Remember you asked if it was ‘that bad’?” you asked after a long pause and his heart skipped a beat. He still tried to play it cool and he just nodded.

“It was too great and that’s the problem” you let out defeated.

You heard your phone ringing non-stop. Maybe if you let it rang, whoever was calling would eventually give up.

You rolled your eyes as you realized you were wrong and put the popcorn aside so you could reach the bothersome device without making a mess in the bed. You knew it couldn’t be Jae because he had just texted you he wouldn’t be able to call until tomorrow morning, thus you were not really looking forward to answer.

“Of course it had to be when it was getting exciting” you mumbled to yourself annoyed without making an effort to pause the movie you were watching.

You were having some kind of day off and you were not in the mood to take any calls. It was Saturday afternoon and you were still on your pjs watching Netflix and eating a little bit of everything you could find in the kitchen, while you counted the hours to see Jae again.

It still surprised you how much you could get to miss him, even when he had been gone just for a couple of days. You missed his lame jokes and all the teasing along with his over self confidence.

The bitter expression on your face vanished when you checked the screen and saw it was Brian. A smile was drawn on your lips. He was, apart from Jae of course, the only person you were willing to talk to on a day like this. You were so used to have him around in both, your and Jae’s life, you didn’t mind at all. It was nice counting on him even if Jae wasn’t there.

The three of you were like a squad, a really peculiar one because you were all so different but worked so well together as you complemented each other.

Even though you and Jae were a couple, you never left Brian behind. They were like brothers and you had came into their lives way after they became friends, so since you two started dating, Brian had always been there. It was a good thing that Jae wasn’t really into kissing or hugging in public, even holding hands wasn’t something he did often, so it didn’t really seem like Brian was ever third wheeling.

“Hello there” you answered the phone going back to your popcorn.

“Hi! What are you up to?” he asked enthusiastically.

“Not much, to be honest. Just watching tv and eating… (as usual)” you said with your mouth full.

- That I can tell…- you heard him giggle on the other side of the line and just imagining his face while doing so made you smile even more. He looked so cute when he chuckled. “Y/N, I…” he stopped out of a sudden. You looked at your phone to check if the call was still on.

“Brian? You alive?” you joked, knowing he was still there.

“… Yeah… Sorry, I just got distracted” he apologized. “There’s this new ice cream shop by my place. They are inaugurating it today, do you want to go?” he asked trying to stay calm.

He was actually scared. You two had never hanged out alone before unless you were both waiting for Jae to join you. This was the very first time. He knew what he was doing could be wrong but you were friends after all. It was not a date, and he really wanted to see you. He wanted to know how it felt like being just with you. He craved to have the chance Jae had almost everyday, for once. To have your smile and your voice for himself, to be your center of attention, despite it was just as a friend. It was a selfish wish but it couldn’t be that bad as long as he remained in his place like he always had.

“Sounds tempting but… I don’t know. I haven’t even showered and I’m extremely lazy today to get out of the house” you took some more popcorn and stuffed your mouth with it. It kind of disappointed him because he knew you loved ice cream, he thought that invitation would work.

“It’s 2x1 because it’s the opening day…” he gave it one last try.

“I’ll be ready in 40 minutes. You should’ve said that first” you turned the tv off and got out of bed.

“Great! I’ll pick you up, then” he said excited.

“Perfect! See ya” you hung up.

****

“When you got all excited for the whole 2x1 thing, I never thought you would be eating two banana splits by yourself” Brian said amazed.

“Do you even know me? When it comes to ice cream you go hard or go home. I always go hard” you ate the last spoonful feeling so pleased you could die there and then.

He was pleased too. Not because of the ice cream, though, but for having the opportunity to hang out with you and making that dream of his come true. You'd had a nice time and seeing you so happy was all he was expecting out of this.

You had talked for hours from the moment you got in his car until now. In the ice cream shop you were showing each other new songs you thought you would like and lowkey singing along, being called out a couple of times by the owner for being too loud, but you didn't care because you were having so much fun.

Brian and music belonged together. It was almost magical how he would sing not with his voice but with his heart itself. You loved the expressions he made when he swayed his head gently to the rhythm of the songs, and the way his nose slightly wrinkled when he hit high notes with falsetto was definitely one of the most adorable things in the world.

You caught yourself staring at him so many more times than you should, and not only that. You also realized the way you saw him was special, it was not how you would look at just a friend. It was as if you could see through him, his eyes and his smile could tell you a million things without him saying a word.

You had never actually had the chance to think about it because you were always with Jae whenever Brian was around, so you always ascribed that feeling to your boyfriend as it was the most reasonable option, especially because that was also what you felt when you were alone with Jae.

However, this time was different. Your boyfriend wasn't here and you were alone with his best friend while your emotions made a mess out of your heart and your brain.

You tried to convince yourself it was just your mind overthinking all your feelings. Of course you liked Brian, but not like that, right? It was just a one time thing that would go away once Jae came back.

“Shall we ask for the bill? It looks like it's going to rain. Let's go. I'll drive you home” his voice shut down the one inside your head (thank God).

“Sure” you said after clearing your throat “I'll go to the washroom for a second. I'll be right back” you stood up and left.

There, you washed your face as if it would make your brain stop rambling. It was really not a good moment to start questioning so many things about your relationship with Jae and him. “Okay… it all ends and stays here" you commanded yourself out loud so your mind understood it was real. You repeated that phrase a couple of times regardless of the girls coming into the room and looking at you like you were crazy.

You went back to Brian.

“How much was it for my part?” you asked taking your wallet out of your purse.

“Leave it like that. It's on me” he said.

“Nooo!” you yelled. He looked at you freaked out, so did some other people around. It wasn't like he hadn't done that before, but now you were thinking it would be too much like a date if you let him pay. And it wasn't. It couldn't be. “I mean… you treated Jae and I iced coffee last time. I can pay” you tried to fix it.

“Y/N, for real it's fine. Let's go”  he said smiling and you felt so weak, you just couldn't fight him.

When you got to the entrance of the shop you noticed it had started raining already. It wasn't too bad but you would for sure get soaked to the skin if you went all the way to his apartment where he had left his car.

“You can wait for me here. I will come pick you up” he said considering the rain.

“Brian, I'm not made of sugar” you giggled and he did the same, “I won't melt for some water” you opened the door. “I bet I can get there first!” you yelled at him already running.

You hated physical activity but you were trying not to be there with him so your brain wouldn't start disturbing you again. The quicker you were in that car the better. That meant you would be home and that feeling of seeing and being with Brian would be gone.

He just laughed and gave you some advantage because he knew he was faster than you. When he reached you, you were just one block away from his place. He hugged you from behind when he caught you not to get there first and you felt like dying, it was such a plot twist for your plan.

That was the last thing you needed in that moment, but still you couldn't help but laughing. It was fun, you loved the rain but Jae could never really enjoy it because of his allergies, and there you were having the time of your life with Brian running and tickling each other as if you were 5 year olds.

You finally got to his door gasping for air after such an intense race (for you at least), your back against it as you came up first and were bragging it on his face.

He was in front of you smiling, ready to open the door with his keys on his right hand and his arm slightly touching your side. There was no way you could not stare at him. His shirt sticking to his chest for being all wet just made you want to trace every muscle of his body with your fingers, to feel them. Drops of water falling from the tips of his dark hair, some of them sliding all the way from his forehead, passing through his perfectly fine nose and reaching their final destination on his lips. Those pinks lips you had never realized how badly you wanted to taste and were drawing that stunning smile that made you feel like the world was a wonderful place just by looking at it.

Now there was nothing you could do, it was like you were stuck in that moment with him. He hadn't made a move at all but you were not going to fight it anymore. Maybe Jae was right and there was some kind of tension between you and Brian.

Out of a sudden you couldn't contain it and stood on the tip of your toes to lean closer to him and that was it, you kissed him. You didn’t plan it at all, it was just an impulse and you had let your body take control. Nevertheless, the guilt was eating you alive. You stopped as soon as your conscience told you to, in the exact moment he had considered to kiss you back, totally missing his chance.

You looked at him but, for the first time, you were not able to read his eyes wide open. He was surprised, that was for sure, but besides that you didn't know what was going on in his head.

He couldn't believe that had actually happened. You, kissing him, like he had always fantasized with and it had seemed as amazing as surreal every time. But now it wasn't a scenario created by his imagination, it had been unexpected but true and he had just stood there unable to react because he knew if he did, he would only want more.

“Brian, I… I don't know what…” you couldn't find the right words to apologize for such stupidity you had just done “I'm so sorry” you said looking away embarrassed and ashamed of yourself.

Seeing you like this all shy and vulnerable made his heart ache. He loved you, he always had and despite the guilt and his love and appreciation for Jae, he felt like he needed to do this even if it was just once, to be at peace with himself and find a closure with his eternal crush on you.

You startled when he cupped your face in his hands and made you look at him in those eyes that were shining brighter than a starry night.

“Don't be” that was all he said right before leaning down to kiss you again while opening the door without letting go of you, pulling you closer to him with his free hand in the small of your back.

His lips felt so soft and warm against yours it felt like he was gently caressing you with them. So nice and subtle it was almost magical.

Brian had put all his love, his heart and his soul into that kiss without caring if you would tell his feelings for you, they were just blooming from him like flowers in spring. He was too busy giving his all living and enjoying the moment, to deal with himself trying to hide how he felt like he always had.

After a while, you got inside the house and the moment he cornered you against the wall you knew you were not going to any car and you were definitely not going home.

That tender kiss he gave you outside became a heated make out session, where you were so invested in feeling each other, that pausing to get some air seemed like a waste of time. You pulled his wet hair as the connection of both of your lips became more and more intense, while you were still trapped between his arms and the wall. You were not trying to escape, though.

The guilt that was there before had totally vanished and your conscience kept telling you you were doing the right thing. It didn't feel wrong at all. Conversely, it felt incredibly good, but for some reason it wasn't enough. No matter how many times his lips and tongue met yours, it wasn't complete. Something deep inside your racing heart told you you needed more, that this moment was meant to happen. And you were not going to hold anything back.

You jumped at him, your legs around his hips and his hands on your butt. He carried you that way to his room still kissing you until he gently lie you down in his bed.

Prisoner between your thighs, he took his shirt off first and next thing you knew, he had already taken yours off so skillfully you had barely noticed.

Out of the blue, he stopped to stare at you for a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity. He placed his hand on your cheek and caressed it with his thumb.

“Is… Is there something wrong?” you mumbled scared. He smiled at you so warmly your heart skipped a beat.

“No, not at all. It's just that… Y/N, you are so beautiful” he said. And in his face you could see way more than just desire. It was like he was looking at you through Jae’s eyes.

He intertwined his fingers of both of his hands with yours and proceeded to kiss you kind but passionately.

After a while he let go of your lips and descended to your neck leaving random marks here and there which got some moans from you. He kept going down to your chest exploring every part of it with his mouth, showering you with sweet kisses while he used his hands to get rid of your bra. You got chills and your blood boiled at his touch.

Not wanting to wait any longer, right after going through your belly button, he removed your already wet pants and underwear and did the same with his. You pulled him closer to go back at kissing your lips again while you breathlessly felt the weight of his body against yours, gasping and moaning in pleasure.

You couldn't help but scratch his back to release all the passion and energy contained inside you. His hands were all over you tracing every single corner of your bare anatomy and yours corresponded his. It felt like burning fire on your skin but you didn't want him to stop.

You were amazed by how in sync your bodies were, swaying at the same pace until you two became one. Every single part of you was shaking but you had never felt this warm. You found love in him, you felt full and complete. You and Brian belonged together in a way you still couldn't explain but you were not going to question. The same unexplainable bound you shared with Jae.

When you least noticed, it was all over. Everything was pitch dark. You were both too breathless to say a word, and everything had been said already. You laid your head on Brian's chest and he wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

It hadn't stopped raining since you left the ice cream shop.The rumble of the rain was soothing and you were beyond exhausted. Your eyes closed and you fell asleep despite of the voice in the back of your head telling you this had felt right but maybe… too right.

“I… I don’t understand…” he mumbled confused.

“I know you don’t.  I told you” you took a deep breath before you kept going. “When we kissed for the first time it felt… right. I don’t know how to explain it. It just did... And when we were together I felt like this other part of me  I didn’t know I have was complete. It felt like it was supposed to. Exactly the same way I feel when I’m with Jae, and you know how much I love him. That can’t be okay. It can't be okay the fact that I saw you the same way I see him, that I wanted you as badly as I want him, that I… that I loved you like I love him” you were truly unveiled now, no bare skin shown had ever made you feel so exposed and vulnerable than opening up to him in such an honest way.

Brian was in shock. He didn't know what to do or say. What did all that even mean? He let go of you immediately and then you knew you had made a terrible mistake. But the feeling was so overwhelming that even when you knew he was probably going to react like this, you couldn't hold it in. It was driving you crazy.

When you finally decided to have sex with Brian it was because you were convinced whatever you felt whenever you saw him or were near him (even when people just mentioned his name) was simply some kind of physical attraction that would go away once you slept with him. And you really wanted it gone.

You loved Jae more than anything you had ever loved in your life and those feelings you had for Brian were getting in the way. Not to make you love him less but you didn't want to have your eyes on someone else, especially not on his best friend, when you were already so happy with him.

It was hard, though, because you three used to hang out a lot, you spent so much time together and anytime Brian smiled or was nice to you a part of you melted just like it did when Jae did such things.

Realizing all those feelings had nothing to do with you being attracted to his appearance and were definitely not what a good friendship is supposed to be like, really hit you hard. Was it even possible to feel the same for two different people at the same time? Well… apparently it was, but it didn’t make any sense in your head and the guilt was killing you from the inside out.

“So… you are saying you… you are in love with me?” he asked in disbelief. After seeing you with Jae, he couldn’t picture you interested in anyone else but him. Even though he actually felt like you cared about him tonight when you were together, but he thought it had been his imagination after all the time he dreamed about being with you. He thought there was no way there could possibly be room in your heart for somebody who was not Jae.

He was wrong.

“I think I am” you confessed after a long pause. Your eyes still closed while you hid your face in your hands.

“Do you still love Jae?” he looked away although it was dark. He didn’t know what to say. He was definitely not expecting that answer and taking you away from his best friend was not an option for him.

“Yes, more than I can express” you said without even hesitating and he felt so relieved that what happened tonight hadn’t changed things for him. He was like a part of Brian and the last thing he would’ve ever wanted was hurting him in any way, and you were one of his biggest weaknesses. Destroying all that love you two shared would’ve broken him and he rathered not having you even though it hurt, as long as Jae and you were happy.

“It’s okay, then… you will go back to him” he muttered so softly you could barely hear him, running his hands through your hair to calm you down.

“I won’t” you shook your head with a bitter smile and he almost choked.

“What do you mean? He loves you too, you are literally made for each other” he replied scared of you leaving Jae because of the latest event.

“I can’t do this to him, you know? I can’t go back to Jae when I know I have feelings for you too” you held back the impulse to grab his hand.

He was in pain, he wished deep inside he could tell you he was into you too, but he knew if he did, it would only make things harder.

“This is nothing, Y/N… It’s a one night stand, remember? Just go back to him, the feeling will be gone after some time” he tried to convince you, when every word he said was like stabbing himself in the heart, because he knew that at least for him, it wouldn’t work.

“It’s not that easy, Brian… I know myself, if I was feeling this way when literally nothing was happening between us, it’s not just going to go away like that after this. Especially not if I see you as often as usual. You and Jae are one, I can’t keep him away from you. If there’s someone he cares about more than me, that’s you”

“But you love him…” he tried one last time, afraid that you wouldn’t change your mind.

“Yes and I love you too, so I won’t be with him while thinking about you. Even if left him to be with you, which would never happen for all the love and respect I have for both of you, (not to mention you don’t feel the same) I would be thinking about him while being with you. I won’t choose and I won’t mislead any of you like that”

Brian was dying inside. He wanted to tell you he did feel the same, he wanted you to go back to his friend but none of those things would happen, especially because they were totally opposite. Also, you were too stubborn and in the end, you had a point which was completely understandable but would leave all of you devastated.

You started getting dressed as quickly as he had undressed you a while ago. You couldn’t stand staying there any longer. You had to leave. You needed to talk to Jae.

“I’m sorry, Y/N… this was a mistake, I never meant to-” he started but you cut him off.

“Don’t apologize. I don’t think it was a mistake. I’m actually glad it happened. At least I can see things clearly now. You didn’t do anything wrong” you placed your hand softly in his cheek and his heart started racing. So did yours. “Thanks for everything, Brian. For being such a good friend, not only to Jae but also to me. Thanks for caring, and especially thanks for making this definitely something more than a one night stand. Because even though that’s what it was supposed to be, to me it felt more than just sex” you affirmed, and this time, as you knew it was going to be the very last time, you couldn’t help but kiss him.

You pulled him closer to you until your lips met, you already missed that taste and that feeling of peace and serenity it gave you whenever he held you in his arms. You felt happy, safe and at ease with your life, with the world. You wished you could make that moment last forever because you knew you wouldn't have it again, and it hurt. It hurt as much as knowing you wouldn't have it with Jae either.

Brian wasn't containing himself anymore, he was kissing you back with all the eagerness he’d been holding when he felt your hands moving from his face to his hair, keeping the kiss gentle but passionate at the same time, like both of your lips and tongues belonged together.

That was one of the things you had discovered you loved the most about him, that capacity he had to be so intense but also tender and kind.

However, after a while, you were getting too involved again. You wanted to go further but you couldn’t allow yourself to do that. That was and must have been the first and last time with Brian Kang. So before your hands started going all over his body you gently pushed him away and let go of the kiss against your will. He didn’t try to bring you back to him and you came to the conclusion he was cool with however things were between the two of you now.

What you didn't know was how hard he was trying to seem chill with the whole situation when he wanted you back more than anything. But he knew it was a selfish thought and he wouldn’t put himself over you and his best friend.

“Y/N…” he whispered with his face still so close to yours you could feel his warm and heavy breathing on your cheeks. The tip of his nose was slightly rubbing yours and you were so tempted to kiss him once more. It made you weak in a million different ways you couldn’t understand.

You hummed to let him know you were listening.

“Please… don’t leave Jae. It will only break both of you” he said, when he was the one who was already broken in that moment.

You were also hurt. He was right, but even then somewhere deep inside, you were hoping for him to ask you to stay and now you were feeling guilty and stupid for expecting such a thing. You were about to cry again but you didn’t want to do it in front of him.

You really needed to get out of there. Each minute you were next to him was making it harder and harder for you to leave and to deal with the million emotions contained in your chest.

“I’m sorry, Brian” you pressed your lips against his cheek and left him in the dark, closing the door right behind you in the exact moment the first tears started running down your face.

You opened the door of your apartment and dragged your feet all the way to your room just wanting to lay down in bed and pass out so all the flashbacks from that night could leave you alone. You would call Jae in the morning, you were sure you wouldn’t be able to deal with the topic right now without crying your eyes out for the millionth time in less than 24 hours.

You didn’t bother to turn the lights on. You felt like your soul had been drained out of your body and at the moment you really didn’t care about having a clear view, especially because your eyes were burning from all the tears and it would only make it worse.

You climbed to your bed being lucky enough not to trip and die on your way to it, you threw your purse away carelessly and rested your head randomly in the first place you could find not even looking for a pillow.

Your heart stopped when you felt someone’s chest instead of the mattress.

“Y/N?” his husky voice trying to find its way between his dreams sounded so innocent and pure, it broke your heart.

What was he doing there? he was supposed to be out of town until the day after. You didn’t wanna deal with this right now. He should be tired and the least you could do at the moment was letting him get some rest before breaking up with him.

Just the thought of it was wrecking you again and to be honest, you wanted to enjoy one last night with your boyfriend. The guy you loved with all your heart, mind and soul, the guy you had the happiest memories you could think of with, the guy who made you feel like the luckiest girl on Earth.

“I'm here" you answered with your voice still weak, getting closer to him and sticking to his body with every single part of yours.

“I missed you.  Where… where were you?” he managed to form a full sentence with his eyes still closed while he by inertia held you tight in his arms.

You almost choked to that question.

“I'll tell you in the morning, okay?” you said avoiding it and hoping he was sleepy enough not to insist.

“Mhmm" he answered and passed out on you.

“I love you, Jae" you whispered running your fingers through his hair and he pulled you closer to him (as if it was even possible). He felt warm and familiar, he felt just right.

Trapped in his embrace you made an effort to move your head a little so you could kiss him. He was already asleep so he didn't kiss you back but you were okay with it, at least you wouldn't feel as guilty if he didn't kiss you the same way Brian did a while ago.

Your heart hurt at the thought of him just like it did when you were together and thought of Jae, so you tried to block any kind of memory of any of them and focused on trying to sleep with your head still resting on his chest and your arms wrapped around him.

****

Sunlight started slightly coming into your room through the tiny gap between the curtain and the window, but you refused to wake up to reality. You wanted to lay there forever, you were exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally drained.

Feeling Jae’s lips on yours made you give up.

“Morning…” he said still pecking you plenty of times. You didn’t say a word, you just lazily moved to bury your head in his chest instead. You wondered if he was being more clingy than usual or if it was just your heart making you feel every little thing more intensely, knowing what was coming.

“Come oooon, aren’t you excited to see me? Let’s go out on a date today” he said tickling you while you did your best not to cry.

“Of course I am. I thought your flight was supposed to arrive tonight” you changed the topic. You didn’t want to go on a date with him to tell him your relationship was over.

“It was, but I changed it for an earlier one so I could see that annoying little face of yours sooner” he teased you as usual.”I'm starving, let's get ready and I'll take you out for brunch" he said hugging you and kissing the top of your head. “Unless you want to stay here for a little longer...” you noticed the change in his voice and you knew his intentions. You could perfectly picture him smirking and moving his eyebrows while placing his hand playfully on your butt. Your heart stopped. God knows how badly you wanted to do it, but you couldn't.

The guilt hit you like a truck and you couldn't hold your tears anymore as they started streaming down your cheeks silently. He could feel something wasn't right  even before the tears ended up in his shirt. It was easy for him to tell. You were never like this. You were the kind of person who talks a lot about anything and everything, the kind to ask him all the details about his day and about his trip, the one who can't let go of him because you were the definition of clingy, especially after not seeing him in so long.

“Y/N, what's wrong" he started rubbing your back with one hand and lifted your head gently with the other one so you could face him. You were not able to look him in the eyes. “Don't tell me Wonpil made you wear that awful pink sweater” he said in a failed attempt to get a smile from you. It hurt him more than anything seeing you cry, but he didn't want to show himself weak in front of you if you were having a hard time. “Y/N, please… tell me what is it so I can help. I feel so useless" he opened up as you remained silent for a while.

“Jae, I'm so sorry" you hugged him and hid your face in the crook of his neck.

“What? What are you sorry about?” he asked concerned without letting go of you.

You took a deep breath between sobs.

“Do you remember all those times when you told me I should ’release the sexual tension’ between Brian and me" you said it almost physically hurt getting those words out of your mouth after going through the huge lump in your throat.

“Is that it? Did you sleep with Brian?” he asked immediately and you wanted to die right there and then.

“Yes, but-” you tried to explain yourself but he didn't let you.

“It's fine, Y/N. For real. You don't have to worry about that. I meant why I said” you couldn't believe his words. He was talking as normally as if he was drinking water. “The important thing is: are you feeling any better now?” he asked.

“No!” you answered frustrated “And I can't believe you encouraged me to do such a thing to you!” you weakly punched his chest.

“Come on, I just made the comments because it was too obvious you both wanted it. You are my girlfriend and he is my best friend so I really don't mind. I could cut the tension between the two of you with a knife. And I know you love me, Y/N, I can feel it, so why would I be a bitch about it. I'm sorry if I pressured you, I just thought it would make you feel better and less awkward for all of us" he let out feeling like he was the reason of your pain.

“Less awkward?! LESS AWKWARD?!” you scoffed “It only made me realize I have feelings for him too! And not as a friend. I mean the same kind of feelings one has for a boyfriend!” you were now yelling while crying a river.

Jae was shocked, it's not like he didn't see it coming, but it was still something hard to hear coming from you and not from his insecure conscience.

“Say something, Park Jaehyung!!! Can't you see this is killing me inside?” you kept punching his chest with the few strength you had left to release the anger and the sadness that were consuming you alive.

“I… I should've known that before…” he said but avoiding looking at you this time.

“What is that supposed to mean?!” you demanded an answer.

“The way you looked at him… sometimes it reminded me of the way you looked at me” you tried to reply but he kept talking before you could say a word. “The way you smiled when he talked to you..." he sounded as if he was lost in his own memories.

“Jae, I hadn't actually realized it, I swear! It wasn't on purpose. You know I-" you started but he interrupted you.

“I guess I was just trying to fool myself, trying to make myself believe you still loved me even when-"

“Even when what, Jae? Do you think I've been faking it all this time? Because I never said I don't love you. I loved you then and I still love you now, more and more everyday. I can't explain it but somehow my feelings for Brian don't affect my feelings for you and the other way around. It's like you are both a part of me, because you two are one, two sides of the same coin…” you let out a sigh and wiped your own tears.

“Wait so… are you saying you still love me?” he asked confused.

“I so do” you said and he looked so relieved you had to think twice if you were really going to break up with him even though you didn't want to. “But I can't stay with you like this, Jae… I slept with your best friend, for God sake!” you muttered and started crying again. He looked so hurt you didn't know what to do with yourself, you never wanted to cause him any pain.

After a long pause, he cleared his throat and spoke again.

“I guess you are going with Brian then… he's a great man. I wish you guys the best” he said. The words leaving his lips as if he was some kind of robot. You could tell he was also broken inside but he was still holding you in his arms.

“No, Jae. I won't do that to you or to him. I think it's better this way” you kept crying on his shoulder which, somehow, made things less terrible. Even in this situation, it was still Jae and he still made you feel safe and find some solace when the rest of the world seemed wrong.

“Y/N, we both know this hurts but all I want is you to be happy. Whether it's with me or with Brian. I would gladly take the pain as long as you are both happy" he looked at you in the eyes and you knew he wasn't lying. He truly meant it.

“Thanks for that, Jae but I think it's my choice, and I already made a decision. Besides, it's not like he's into me, so I don't know what makes you think he'd be happy with me” you said bitterly.

“I'm pretty sure he is" he sighed frustrated.

“What? No, that's not possible" you shook your head in disbelief.

“I think he is. He’s been looking at you with those puppy eyes since we started dating, and he still looks at you like that. It's been so long for you to call that a crush. He really likes having you around and whenever you are not, we can talk about you for hours, both of us. He knows things about you that not a regular friend would notice, like that one time he told me he found extremely cute the fact you tap your feet on the floor whenever you are nervous, or how you slightly bite your lip when you are trying to remember something… Also, you know Brian, he wouldn't have slept with you if he didn't care or had feelings for you”  Jae was looking down now and you didn't know what to do with all this information.

“Why now… Why didn't you tell me before" you said in shock, not knowing what else to say.  

“I was selfish, I guess... I was trying to believe he was just being nice to you, because I couldn't deal with the thought of being that guy who rathers his own happiness over his best friend's. When I could tell he had feelings for you” he confessed. You were still too struck to give any answer. “But now that I have the chance to make it up to both of you, I don't wanna be that guy anymore. That's why I'm telling you, go to him if that's what you want. Don't worry about me" he hugged you firmly.

“...But he… he begged me to come back to you" you muttered still in disbelief that Brian could be in love with you.

“That's because he's a better friend than I will ever be" he said embarrassed.

“I still won't go with him. And even if I did, he would never take me. Not if I leave you" you finally said, so overwhelmed with the whole situation already.

You both remained silent for what it seemed like ages. Words wouldn’t really fix anything so it was better to just be quiet.

After a while his voice startled you.

“Y/N, wait… What if… what if you don't" he said with his eyes wide open and all shiny as if he had found the cure for cancer.

“What if I don’t what?” you asked confused.

“What if you don’t leave me and still take Brian?” he clarified and you cracked up.

“Jae… are you out of your mind?” you caught yourself laughing at such nonsense.

“I’m serious, Y/N. He loves you but he doesn’t want to make me unhappy. I love you but I don’t want him to keep suffering because he is not with you, and you love us both. Then why can’t just the three of us be happy?”

“Are you aware of what you are suggesting?” you questioned him even when you already knew what he meant. It was more a question for yourself.

“Brian is my best friend and you are the girl I love, I’d do anything for both of you. And like you said, Brian is like a part of me, so I’m not jealous at all. What do you think?” he chuckled and you were surprised at his own honesty.

It kind of made sense but your brain couldn’t process the idea of being in a relationship with two people at the same time.

“What makes you think he’ll be cool with this?” you asked trying to avoid giving him an answer.

“Because I know him better than I know myself. He won’t like the idea at first but I'm sure he will give in eventually. Just like he did when I told him to sleep with you. This is the best solution I can think of for all of us” he assured you. He sounded so convinced it almost made you think of it as a fact.

“I don’t know, Jae… I can’t picture myself doing it” you said trying your best to know if that was indeed the best way out for this.

“Listen, we can give it a try. If any of us feels uncomfortable we can let it go and you can do as you please. You were thinking of breaking up with me anyways, so why not give it a chance and see if we can make it work?” his voice was full of hope and high expectations, all you could do was wonder how it was so easy for him to think of this as an option and, especially, how it seemed so natural and normal for him he hadn't even hesitated to put it on the table.

It was still so hard for you to believe this was actually happening. Unlike Brian, you couldn't really tell what was going on in Jae’s head. You were both so different it was a mystery for you how “being Jae” worked, but he was so familiar to you and the kind of person he was, and you were so in love and happy with him, you didn't need to know. He was unpredictable, a free spirit who didn't hold back what was on his mind, sometimes a little savage and probably sarcastic but at least you always knew he was being honest and genuine, and that was something you valued the most in a relationship.

Therefore he must be right. Even if it didn't work, things between all of you were supposed to be over anyhow, so there was nothing to lose and too much to win.

He was staring at you. You hadn't said a word but despite your silence, he knew just by looking at your face you were favorably considering his offer.

“So… are you gonna dump me or... should I call Brian?” he said smirking with your phone already in his hand. You got chills the moment he mentioned his name.

“Let go of that phone Park Jaehyung" you said firmly snatching it from him.  His confidence hit the ground when he thought it really was the end. “He will never answer if he sees my name on the screen. Call him from yours" you gave him his phone with your heart racing.

He sighed in relief and did as you said. He put it on speaker and as it rang you two looked at each other anxious, nervous but at the same time so eager and excited. It was like all the sadness, the guilt and the bad feelings from before were gone. You were now just waiting for that tiny flame of hope to ignite.

- Jae… hi…- Brian's voice came out of Jae’s phone right before it had sent you to the voicemail.

You both look at each other and smiled instantly. It could be the beginning of a new start.

Okay y’all that was it, it’s lowkey different from my usual stuff but I hope you enjoyed it even though it was quite angsty. If you have any feedback or comments, I’d be glad to read them! Also, English is not my first language so sorry about grammar or spelling issues and shit. Thanks to @withnosuchgrace for reading it before I post it as usual.

Ps. I DO NOT own any of the gifs or pics used on this post, credit to the rightful owners.