Summary: You had nurtured a crush on Brian Kang since high school. So, when he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a family gathering, you jump at the chance and your fantasies start to come to life. However, instead of how you imagined your feelings to bloom, your new neighbour Jae shows you another path to love.
Pairing: Jae Park / Brian Kang x female reader
Genre: romance / fluff / angst / fake dating + fwb au / neighbours to lovers au
Warnings: friends with benefits mentioning, angsty moments, there’s a bit of a love-triangle..
Word count: 1588
Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Epilogue
“Let’s have a talk, shall we?” you mentioned exhaustedly, opening the front door to your apartment and inviting Brian in.
He seemed out of his depth, and for a moment, the old you wished to reach out and reassure Brian. However, you maintained your distance, offering him a seat at your small dining table whilst you took the one adjacent.
“I mean what I said,” Brian stated, turning to face you.
“I’m sure you did.”
“I don’t know when it happened but--”
“I’m not in love with you, though,” you announced calmly, Brian’s eyebrows furrowing together.
“No, that’s not right. You’ve loved me for years. That’s why it worked so well for us to be partners.”
You stared at the man across from you silently, watching as he realised his slip up. Brian sighed heavily. “Wait. Don’t think of me as a bad person for--”
“I won’t think of you as a bad person, Brian. You’re right. I’ve loved you for ten years. I spent my high school, university and even some of my career years looking only at you. Like a fool. And when you offered the fake dating opportunity my way, the part of me that wanted to be noticed by you was overjoyed. I was convinced because we worked so well together that eventually you would catch up with your feelings and see this as more than just an agreement.”
“I do. What you hoped for, I’m starting to genuinely feel.”
“Ironic, isn’t it?” you murmured, and Brian’s gaze narrowed slightly. You smiled sadly. “What I felt for you all these years turns out wasn’t real at all. I was in love with the Brian Kang I had conjured in my head. I thought I knew all about you, but you’re more of a mystery now to me than when I started this game with you three months ago.”
“What do you want to know? I’ll let you know it all,” he offered, but you shook your head. “We’ve made love together.”
“No, we’ve just shared the same bed and our bodies one too many times than we should have.”
Brian laughed once, and then another time, shaking his head. “I honestly thought you would be embracing me right now. Instead, it hasn’t gone how I expected this to.”
“The same for me. I was convinced meeting your family wouldn’t end in me hurting them. That their dreams of us walking down the aisle together would come true. My dreams with you too. But now I’ve come to realise they aren’t the type of dreams that give me what I want in this world.”
“What do you want?” Brian asked, tilting his head to the side. “Or is it a who?”
“It’s not you. I’m sorry.”
Brian nodded softly before getting up and heading for the door silently. And when it closed, you dropped your head onto your table, unable to cry, unable to process the feelings within you. Whilst you knew telling Brian once and for all you were no longer interested and wanted to close the ten-year long chapter in your heart with him, it didn’t bring you relief. It didn’t make you feel better or even provide you with the clarity you needed to make your next move.
You simply remained there, feeling numb.
A week passed without once seeing Jae, and your hopes dashed the longer he avoided you. Eventually, you came across him in the mailroom, darting forward towards him.
“Jae, can we talk?”
“Nope,” he answered curtly, swinging around you and heading out the door.
Rushing after him, you stopped the elevator from closing and hopped inside, peering at the man looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t like him.”
“Good for you.”
“Can’t I at least explain myself? Don’t you owe me that much?”
“As your neighbour-”
“As someone who likes you, a lot.”
Jae’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything else. The doors sprang open then to your floor, and Jae departed immediately, your steps much shorter than his and causing you to hurry along again. He had already reached his front door and stepped inside when you got there, the door beginning to shut.
And much like with the elevator doors, you stuck your hand in the way again, but this time the door came into contact with you. “Ow!”
“Why the hell did you do that for?!” Jae exclaimed, yanking the door back open and taking your injured hand gently into his. “Y/N, your fingers are swelling!”
“Will you just let me talk to you?”
“You need to go to a doctor! Honestly, why do something this stupid?”
“Because you’re avoiding me over something that looked more than it was!” you answered exasperatedly, and Jae stopped fussing over your hand, his dark eyes connecting with yours.
“Really?”
“It’s a long story, but I hope you’ll let me explain.”
“Not right now,” he answered, and you whined immediately. Jae stepped out of his apartment and shut the door with one hand, still holding your injured one. “Because you need to get this looked at first.”
“You’ll come with me?”
“Do you think my anxiety will cope with letting you go to the doctors on your own? What if it’s broken?!”
You smiled and then winced with the pain. “Then you promise you’ll listen to me? Ow, this really hurts.”
“Injury first, Y/N,” Jae confirmed, leading you back down the hallway and out of the building. You hadn’t ever been in Jae’s car before, but it made you smile giddily when he leaned over for your seatbelt to secure you before he started the car up.
Glancing at your reaction, Jae rolled his eyes. “You’re already injured and couldn’t belt yourself. That’s all.”
“Allow me to enjoy the experience.”
“You’re driving me insane, Y/N.”
“You’ve been doing that to me all week by avoiding me.”
Jae let out a grunt and otherwise stayed silent for the rest of the trip to urgent care. After x-rays and a two-hour wait, you were relieved to be released with your hand in a splint, thankfully with no broken bones, just a severely bruised and swollen hand.
“I’m still mad at you for throwing your hand in my door.”
“Should I have used my foot instead?” you teased, noting the ghost of a smile haunting the corners of his lips. “Oh! You finally reacted.”
“Stop distracting me from the road, Y/N.”
“I’ve held my end of the deal. Now you have to follow through with yours.”
“You mean, I have to look after you because some idiot threw her dominant hand into my threshold right when my door was slamming shut.”
“Well, if you hadn’t of slammed it-”
“There it is,” Jae groaned, and you grinned. “Don’t smile. This isn’t funny. Do you know how upset I was-”
“When you were going to confess how you felt about me, but some guy stepped in and did it first? Yeah, I saw.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“I told Brian I didn’t feel the same way.”
“He has a name. Of course, he does,” Jae muttered and glanced at you when you didn’t continue. “So, it’s really over between you?”
“There was never anything that had really begun,” you announced, launching into the whole situation. You didn’t hold back, and thankfully Jae didn’t interrupt you either. You explained your crush, the fact that you had hoped for something before you met Jae, and then when you realised that having what you had wanted with Brian was what you’d rather have with Jae instead.
“Really? You don’t want to end up happily ever after with that guy? Sounds like his family adore you.”
“They do, well, they did. I’m sure he’s told them by now.”
“Still time to go back to him.”
You shook your head. “We’re not right for one another.”
“Even after sleeping together?”
“Jae, I didn’t tell you all this for no reason. I’m being honest with you in hopes you can see that I’m happier this way.”
“With a guy who lets your hand get slammed in a door because he’s being petulant?”
You smiled and nodded. “Who comes over to my house looking for sugar when I know full well you don’t even make coffee at home to need it. Or someone who grips onto me asking for ten more minutes in the morning after falling asleep on my couch with me again.”
Jae’s lips twitched. “Sometimes, you would fall asleep first.”
“I knew it!”
“Hey, who am I to wake you up from drooling on my shoulder when you’ve crashed out against me?”
“I don’t drool!”
“My sweatshirt stains say otherwise,” Jae remarked, and you gasped noisily, pouting as he started to chuckle.
You watched him for a moment before joining in, laughing at all the antics you had both been through together. As if he read your mind, Jae smirked. “Including a nearly broken hand.”
“If you wanted an excuse to come over and stay with me, all you had to do was ask,” you teased, and Jae shrugged.
“Would I have? It took me too long to admit I had feelings for you.”
“You still haven’t,” you replied, and Jae gaped at you as he pulled his car into the parking lot of your apartment complex.
“Really? You’re going to be like that? After everything tonight?!”
You nodded, lifting your arm away so he could undo your seatbelt for you. Instead, Jae inched closer, gauging your expression before he pressed his lips to yours.
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author note: if anyone need someone to talk, i’m here for you okay <3
[00:14]
you tried to catch you breath more calmly after being chased by a dog and managed to avoid the dog after entered into a nearby convenient store—taking a seat near the window.
you notice how your ragged your breathe are, how fast your head and heart pounding fast as if you felt like you can’t calm down at all. you feel like breaking down at anytime.
few minutes passed, you felt like crying.
your vision becomes blur as tears stream down your cheeks along with hiccups.
you need someone to calm you down but sadly even the cashier didn’t even bother looking at you at all.
as in cue, you felt someone presence sitting beside you.
“hey, you good?” jae’s voice can be heard and you just shake your head in response, looking up to him and you felt like you have seen him somewhere
“i-i’m s-scared of d-dog and i-i’m—” you can’t finish your sentences as wave of overwhelmed emotions washed over you.
“hey, it’s okay. i’m here now. don’t worry. can you take a deep breath for me?” jae asked, assisting you with breathing exercise as he took your hands into his, assuring you that’s everything gonna be okay. with his presence beside you, you felt assured.
jae waited for you to calm down as he keeps on giving encouraging words to you—hoping it would bring you calm and assurance.
after a moment, you finally calm down. jae hand out you a water bottle for you and you gladly take it, composing yourself slowly.
when you take a good look at his face, you finally recognize the man beside you.
it’s jae from DAY6.
your eyes bulge out in shock, immediately apologizing to him.
“oh, i know you. oh my god i’m so sorry you had to see me like this. oh my god this is so embarrassing.”
“hey hey, it’s okay. i’m glad you’re okay now” jae said as he ruffling your hair slightly.
you felt touched as jae is so humble, taking care of you, a stranger from panic attack. as if a light bulb turns on, you bow to him, expressing your gratitude.
“thank you so much for helping me out. i don’t what to do if you weren’t there for me. i’m so thankful for that”
“i’m more happy to help. i understand and can relate to your situation though.” jae said, flashed his shy smile to you when he notice you stare him with amazed for quite some time. “anyway, are you sure you okay now?” jae asked
you nods your head eagerly, flashing a wide smile to him and thumbs up to show him you are okay now, thanking him again as he stand up from his place.
“then, i’ll excuse myself now. take care!” jae chirpily said as he left the store.
somewhat in your heart felt warm as jae willing to help a stranger on the street—a proud feeling of becoming his fan—DAY6 fans, myday.
How Day6 would comfort you when you come home crying
warnings: some foul language
an: i was informed about how little day6 content there was (ty @justcuz-ican), so here is more
these are written for people who prefer physical active comfort rather than being left alone when upset, so i may write a set of reactions for people who are the other way round
all members under the cut :)
Sungjin
he may not be used to openly discussing feelings but that does not mean he doesn’t care
he loves you so much and so dearly that seeing you cry will wreck him
i have no doubts he would drop everything for you if the time called for it
he’s a very good listener, and will remain quiet if you need to vent
he is a fixer, and so when you explain what happened, and if you want help, he will do his damn best to make it all ok again
will 100% sort it for you all by himself (if you don’t want him to, you might want to, like... stop him before he does real quick)
he’s very loyal ok so will take your side no matter what
when it comes to comfort it would depend on how long you’ve been together for
if it’s still early days (by his standards), he will try his best to offer verbal support, and then help you continue with your day to the best of both of your ability
however if you’ve been together for a long while
so long that no one, including yourselves, can see yourself with anyone else
he will be a lot more affectionate on top of the above
that’s when you know that you’ve caught his heart without a catch or caveat
will hold you close in a simple but in no way inferior embrace
and trust me, sungjin hugs are phenomenal
and so these are no different
he’s just so soft, you would be so warm and secure in his arms, sobs gradually coming to a stop as your tears dried upon his shirt
i have a lot of feels for sungjin ok
Jae
cuddles + distraction king
will send little messages of support throughout the day if you choose/are able to text him about how bad things are going
as soon as you come home he will take you into his arms
will dry your tears with his fingers as best he can
seeing you upset has the capability to make him very nearly cry too, depending on what it is and how bad (and his day too)
will take the two of you to somewhere comfortable
whether it be sofa or bed or wherever, just somewhere close and safe
he gets it, you need the security
will settle you into his lap and that’s it, that’s your home now
strokes your hair and will speak no louder than a murmur for you
if you want to talk about it, he will listen and comment where he can
lots of verbal support
won’t leave your side until you stop crying, no joke
if/when you need distracting, those movies are going on bois
or he will play a video game if you’d prefer something different
is not above deliberately being bad and making stupid commentary to make you laugh
by the end the sadness will feel like it happened in another time
jae is just that good
Younghyun
will not stop fawning over you
he’s affectionate anyway
so when he sees you upset he tries to give you as much of it as possible
back rubs, cuddles, forehead and cheek kisses, the full lot
so gentle
so good to vent to because his advice is really sound
he doesn’t want to leave your side, but will make exceptions
and so will bring you pretty much anything and everything to try and make it better
from tissues to snacks to his special hoodies you name it
once you stop crying, your treatment doesn’t stop there
nope, sorry, that’s not how kang younghyun rolls
on the day he will make you food, yes
and then he will coax you into sleep (probably spooning or with your head on his chest, he likes that)
then the next time you’re together, prepare yourself
as even if your day has been fine and all your problems are sorted, he’s taking you out to a lovely restaurant
or taking you shopping and buying the shit you saw in the shop window and didn’t buy for frankly no good reason
he wants the week to balance out at the very least
because he may not be able to fix the actual problems that made you upset, but in a way he can make it up to you
even though its 90% of the time never his fault
overall, get yourself a youngk yall
Wonpil
my babie is a sensitive soul
im not saying he’s going to weep with you when you come home after your god awful day
but will he tear up?
yes
he’s a bit of an emotion sponge i get that and seeing you hurt just rubs onto him
doesn’t know what to do really, so may flounder slightly at times
he’s used to you being quite the rock
but he’s an affection king so prepare to be smothered because he isn’t changing now
will be 100x more gentle though
if that’s possible
...yeah it’s possible
cups your cheeks so carefully as if you’re made of glass
he’ll catch your tears on the corners of his sleeves
and then will proceed to do and give you everything that makes him feel better when he’s upset
so his plushie, his blankets, his food, the lot
and then will make it a special night for you
meaning, the softest night in you could imagine
understands you the best, and will say the right thing at the right time
loyal once again, so will always take your side too
and will hold a grudge
even if the problems are sorted the very next day, if a person caused them, he will not trust them until they give him a good reason to like... ever again lol
even if you insist that they’re not as bad anymore
they’ll just be known as ‘the prick that made y/n cry’ and will get glares from him if they see him in the street
of course if they apologise and prove that they’ve improved then he’s back to being a sunshine
mostly
honestly i think wonpil could be strangely threatening if he really, really wanted to be
tho tbh i am biased bc if i disappointed him once i would cry on the spot so idk
Dowoon
sweet babe
wouldn’t quite know what to do at first
especially if it’s still early days in your relationship
not amazing at talking but will try his hardest
same applies for physical comfort
you may have to initiate if it’s the very first time if you want a hug sorry
but he will learn quickly
and will go from holding you close and secure while quietly listening to you vent
to recognising something is wrong by your text aura alone
and preparing things if he can for when you get home
would make a small pillow fort for you ngl
i then see him making small changes to his behaviour that mean big things
so yes, when your relationship is strong and stable, he will cradle you just how you like
and no kidding his back rubs are really comforting
but for the rest of the week he will be super careful
and so will take on a few more chores despite the fair distribution you have going so far
when walking together in public he will normally hold your hand, but for the few days after he will actually put an arm around you instead
and when at home he’ll definitely sit a lot closer to you
going out of his way to work in the same room or a seat closer to you despite being already set up elsewhere
small text messages throughout the day checking if everything is fine, and if any people that caused you issues have done anything else
he remembers you see
he’ll probably return to his slightly shy and normal self after but it doesn’t mean you’re not important to him
after all, i can see him growing used to moving to join you when you come home, and so that may become a common occurrence once he is sure you want that too
overall, a caring boyfriend, just in a more subtle way
~~~
an: i feel this isnt as put together as my others but i hope its still legible and worthwhile
Day and Night 👿 Zombie 👿 Tick Tock 👿 Love me or Leave me 👿 STOP 👿 1 to 10 👿 Afraid
Breathin’ but I’ve been dyin’ inside
Nothin’ new and nothin’ feels right
Deja vu so I close my eyes
Let the demon sing me a lullaby
Today’s a present that I don’t want
So I’m wonderin’ in this world
Am I really the only one
Who’s been wantin’ to hide out from the sun
And run
You immediately let out a whining groan when you heard your morning alarm pierce through the air.
You knew you should be thankful you had a steady, well-paying job. You should be grateful you could keep a roof over your head and food on your table.
But, good grief, you just didn’t like it. You didn’t hate it, but you sure didn’t love it. It was a fine job. Mediocre, at best. You just had trouble mustering up any positive energy whatsoever when it came to getting up and going to work.
Once you actually got to work... Well, to be honest, it wasn’t much better. You trudged through each workday because you had to, not because you wanted to. You simply went through the motions every day, like a robot on autopilot.
You know that song that’s like “Everybody’s workin’ for the weekend’?
You were convinced that song was written about you. Friday evening was your absolute favorite thing in the entire world.
And Sunday evening was your absolute least favorite thing in the entire world.
Up until just recently, you’d been able to make it through each day, each week. It wasn’t pleasant, but you did it.
For the past few weeks, though, you’d felt the dark unhappiness creeping into your brain. It was getting more and more difficult to force yourself to get out of bed and head into the office. So much so that you were on the verge of taking some time off. It sounded more than heavenly to just be able to stay in bed and laze around all day -- hole yourself up and do anything but go to work.
When we live a life
Always dreamin’ for a dream to come true
So I live this life
Wanting somethin’ I can’t see
And something I can’t reach
Or somethin’ that could not exist
To be honest, one of the only things keeping you going right now was your co-worker, Jae.
The two of you had started this job at just about the same time, so the newbie status instantly pulled you together. The fact Jae could successfully distract you with both memes and profound thoughts at the same time was what kept you together.
Whenever you needed to rant about another co-worker or a client, Jae was there. Whenever you needed to get out of the office for lunch and satisfy your craving for fast food, Jae was there. Whenever you needed to relieve boredom or waste time -- you guessed it. Jae was there.
He was basically one of the only reasons you continued working this job, and you liked to think he felt the same way about you.
After reaching over to pick up your phone and turning your alarm off, your whining groan turned into a weary sigh. Normally -- as in, before your jaded attitude about your job had set in -- you would turn off your alarm and almost immediately get out of bed. Now, however -- and especially more recently -- you found you had to scroll through your overnight notifications on your phone before you could even think about getting up.
And that’s exactly what you did today.
Your eyes scanned all of the alerts you’d received, stopping when you noticed one of them was a text message from Jae. Unsurprisingly, he’d sent it way after you’d gone to sleep, knowing you wouldn’t see it until you’d woken up this morning.
Just two more alarms for the week, dude. You got this.
You really weren’t sure why because it was literally just a text message, but... reading Jae’s words actually helped you get out of bed. Maybe it was the fact you knew someone at work was on your side, or maybe it was the fact someone else understood how difficult it could be... or maybe it was a reason you truly couldn’t understand.
Either way, you quickly typed out a reply (‘WE got this, bro!! See you soon!’) and then swung your legs over the side your bed.
I feel like I became a zombie
Not alive but I’m still walkin’
When the sunrise is upon me
I’ll be waitin’ for the day to pass by
Oh why
I became a zombie
And there’s nothing that can cure me
So tomorrow I know I’ll be
Just the same, you’ll see me
Wishin’ to stop and close my eyes
Unfortunately, Jae’s text message only gave you enough positive energy to get through your morning routine. As soon as you stepped outside and headed toward the bus stop, you turned into the robot on autopilot again, simply going through the motions of getting to work.
You got on the bus, swiped your pass, sat down, stared out the window as it began to roll deeper into the city.
It was times like these when you found yourself zoning out entirely, thinking of everything and nothing at the same time.
Your gaze became focused on the sunrise peeking through in-between the buildings, and your mind became unfocused on just about everything. And it was usually during your morning bus ride when you felt the most like a zombie -- half-alive. Or, rather, physically alive but emotionally... not alive. Probably because you knew the day was just beginning, and you had so many hours ahead of you to get through.
You closed your eyes, tilting your head and pressing your temple to the cool glass of the window.
Just before you were going to let out a deep but silent sigh, you felt your phone vibrate inside your bag.
With a small jump, you opened your eyes, sat back up, and reached in to see what the notification was.
A small smile crept onto your lips when you saw Jae had texted you again.
B R O. I need COFFEE. Want anything?
Soy hazelnut latte maybe?
What about food? You can treat me to lunch later as a thank you.
LOL okay deal. Everything bagel plz!!!! You’re the best!!!!
You would say one thing: it was definitely easier to get through the morning with some caffeine and some food. Hopefully, you would feel more like a person after you got some breakfast in you.
Yeah this is my life
Always dreamin’ for a dream to come true
This meaningless life
Wanting somethin’ I can’t see
And something I can’t reach
Or somethin’ that could not exist
No more of this I wanna cry
Dried out but feel like I should cry
Tell the world that I’m still here tonight
Oh oh
Besides the very end of your shift, lunchtime was your favorite part of the day. You especially enjoyed it when you got to eat with Jae, and even moreso when you ate out at a restaurant -- I mean, if you classify McDonald’s as a restaurant. Which you totally did.
Since Jae had so graciously provided breakfast for you this morning, you followed up with your promise to treat him to lunch. He had announced that he was craving a McChicken sandwich, so here you were sitting in a booth at the McDonald’s across the street from the building.
And, apparently, you were sitting in the booth more listlessly than you realized because as you were swirling some fries around in your ketchup, Jae kicked you gently under the table.
“Yo, what’s up?” he asked. “You okay?”
You blinked rapidly, shifting your gaze to look at Jae across from you. “Hmm?” you hummed. “Oh, I -- have you ever felt like your life is basically meaningless?”
...Had you meant for such a profound question to come out of your mouth?
No.
But there was no taking it back now.
Jae practically choked on his McChicken, his eyes widening and his brow furrowing deeply. “Say what now?”
You shifted awkwardly in your seat before replying, “Never mind.”
“No, no, no -- meaningless? Is that how you feel? Like your life is meaningless?”
“...Kind of?”
Jae’s forehead wrinkled even more, and he leaned forward closer to you. “Dude, that’s not true at all,” he said quietly and with the most sincere tone. So sincere it almost made your heart break. “Why -- I mean, why do you...?”
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I just feel like... every day is a chore to get through. I’m just waking up and going to work and going home. I don’t feel like I’m actually... doing anything. And like there’s no end in sight.”
Jae let out a soft sigh and set down his sandwich before folding his arms on top of the table. “I mean... I knew you didn’t like this job, but I didn’t realize it was that bad.”
To be honest, neither had you. Not until just now. You’d known you weren’t particularly happy, but you hadn’t truly understood just how unhappy you were.
“...Yeah, I guess it is,” you murmured.
“So... find a new job.”
You automatically let out a breathless chuckle and shook your head. “Like it’s that easy.”
“Listen,” Jae began. “I don’t want you to find another job. For my own selfish reasons, I don’t want you to leave because you’re definitely my favorite part of work. But... dude, if you’re that unhappy, you have to leave.”
You didn’t answer him right away; you simply bit the inside of your cheek and gazed at your food.
“I have friends with all kinds of jobs,” he continued. “I could ask around and see if they can help. You’re smart as hell, I know there are plenty of jobs out there you would be so good at.”
His words -- and his earnest tone -- made your throat tighten with emotion and your eyes fill slightly with tears. “Really?” you choked out. “You would help me like that?”
When you finally looked up at him, you anticipated his expression to be one of ‘You’re kidding me, right? Of course, I would help you like that.’
Instead, his expression said something more like... Well, you weren’t sure what. The best way you could describe it was... shy.
“Well... yeah,” he mumbled. “I... I just want you to be happy.”
I feel like I became a zombie
Not alive but I’m still walkin’
When the sunrise is upon me
I’ll be waitin’ for the day to pass by
Oh why
I became a zombie
And there’s nothing that can cure me
So tomorrow I know I’ll be
Just the same you’ll see me
Wishin’ to stop and close my eyes
Unfortunately, no matter how badly you wished for more time, your lunch break was only an hour long.
Jae had double-checked that you were all right before the two of you went back into your office building, and he even sent you messages here and there throughout the day -- including one informing you that he had texted all of his close friends about job openings, and he already had some good leads for you.
At this point, though, you didn’t really want to get your hopes up.
Jae typically didn’t leave at the same time as you because he preferred to finish everything he’d started that day; you were the type to leave right when the clock struck 5 and not a minute later, so unless Jae finished early for the day, the two of you never walked out of the office together.
But Jae must have finished early for the day because the two of you walked out of the office together.
As soon as you stepped out of the building, Jae nudged you gently with his elbow. “So, are you gonna quit?” he asked quietly.
“Well, not right now,” you replied. “I still need to pay my bills.”
“Yeah, but -- if one of my friends can get you an interview, will you go to it?”
“I -- I mean, I guess so!”
To be honest, you wanted to leave this job, but... change was really scary. Starting all over at a new place, getting to know new people, getting used to a new schedule? It didn’t sound inviting.
But, then again, neither did keeping on with your current situation.
“I promise,” Jae said with raised eyebrows. “I will help you get out of here.”
You had to stop walking at that.
Your brow furrowed as Jae suddenly stopped, too, turning to face you.
“...What?” he asked.
“Why are you so determined to help me find a new job?” you asked, though there was absolutely nothing accusatory about your words. You were just... curious. I mean, it’s not like you and Jae were extremely close. You were best work friends, for sure, but you hadn’t hung out a whole lot outside of work.
Again, Jae’s expression turned shy the same way it had during your lunch conversation.
“I just...” he began, but then he let out a sigh and brought one hand up to rub the bridge of his nose.
...And then it dawned on you.
Out of the blue.
The realization hit you like a ton of bricks that you had only stayed here because of Jae.
He wasn’t just one of the reasons you could manage to keep going. One of the only things you liked about your job.
He was the only reason. The only thing.
You were so hesitant to get another job because you knew you wouldn’t get to see him everyday, and seeing him everyday was the one thing in your life that actually made you genuinely happy.
Before he could continue on with his thought, you stepped up to him. You slid your arms around his middle and circled your arms as tightly as you could and pressed your cheek to his chest.
“Whoa,” he muttered, but he didn’t leave enough time for you to start second-guessing yourself because he almost immediately returned your embrace.
“I don’t --” he mumbled. “I don’t want you to leave because not seeing you everyday would... suck. But I don’t think I can keep seeing you everyday knowing that you hate it.”
You simply shut your eyes tightly, nuzzling your cheek against the silk fabric of his tie.
“I can’t see you everyday knowing that you’re -- you’re a working zombie or something. So... please. Please say you’ll leave.”
“I will,” you murmured. Because even though Jae made you happy... it wasn’t enough. You couldn’t continue to rely on him to get you through the day; it wouldn’t be fair to either of you.
“But...” Jae added, his voice quieter and a bit more shaky. “Please say... you won’t leave me.”
Your lips curved into a wide grin at his words. He was hugging you back, yes, but you still hadn’t been certain that he felt the same way as you did right now.
But now you knew.
“I won’t,” you assured him, squeezing him even tighter.
And for the first time in a long time, you felt a glimmer of... Well, you weren’t quite sure. Hope? Happiness? Love? Or maybe just... different?
After living your life in the same way day after day, week after week, month after month... something different had happened.
So, I guess the best way to put it was for the first time in a long time, you felt that tomorrow could actually be different.
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I remember her words clearly, "let's just end this."
All I could feel was my own heartbeat beating so fast as if a hundred of zombies wanted to eat me alive.
She got out from my bed and picked up her clothes.
All I could see was my tears were about to stream down. I stayed silent.
From that moment, I never knew a girl would've had an impact to me.
~
"I— we can't do this anymore, Jae," she uttered.
I sighed, "why?"
"Because—" she was wearing her hoodie back,"—it leads nowhere! Don't you see it?"
She's right tho. We're in the middle of nowhere. No one states that we are an item yet we just keep coming back for each other.
Or it's simply called no string attached.
This kind of attachment was like time bomb. It kept ticking until one of us couldn't bear it anymore and would explode. And today was the day.
The day finally she said we better end whatever we were doing.
Frankly, I haven't figured out my feelings yet.
But if the feelings towards her were still blurry, why did it pinched my heart when she asked to quit?
I thought I'd prepred but apparently it hurts.
I opened my mouth, "are you, by any chance, seeing someone else?"
"No, no, no—" she leaned on my desk, "—let me get this straight, Jae. We kept doing this nonsense for almost a year. That's it. Nothing more. You seem not interested bringing us to the next level. I'm jaded."
I could see despair in her eyes. For half an hour, none of us spoke; too busy to ponder what the fuck was happening between us, and what would we do next.
One thing for sure I won't let her slipping away yet I am not ready for any kind of commitment.
Hence, she has the score to leave me whenever she wants.
The frustation punched me in the guts. I'd like to level up whatever we're doing but not today. Not when I'm still dealing with my past relationship which brought me to insecurity.
Little did she know, I have bitter memory with my previous love story.
Now I'm standing face to face with her, "look, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you. You want to believe me or not, it's up to you."
I gazed her teary eyes.
"Your presence is helping me. A lot. Once, I was dating someone back in high school."
To be honest I want to keep this all by myself. But I can't help it, I think she needs to know. If this makes everything between us getting better, I'll do it.
I inhaled as much as I could.
"Jae..." she advanced closer and reached my hand.
"I was so in love with her. She made me like the luckiest guy, to have her as lover. Long short story, I overlooked her chat with her classmates. You know what? It turned out, she made me as a bet. At that time, I felt my world crashing down. She doesn't love me. At all."
Tears began to tear down, I couldn't hold it anymore.
"Stupid me, back then I still fought for her. I refused to believe what was happening. I still chased her, texted her, begged to come back. But of course she blanty ignored my whole existance."
"And from that moment, I build my walls up high, have some trust issue, and tend to keep what's in my head all by myself. Then you came, you....get the best of me...."
She reached my cheeks to wipe some tears, I continued, "I want you. So bad. I don't want to share."
I held her cold hands, "so please, can you stay? I—we can make this work. Heck, I can't even guarantee anything but, please?"
I let my guard down just to make her stay.
We were still holding hands as she uttered, "I want to believe you but if you can't guarantee anything, how am I supposed to believe?"
"Here, you can feel how I'm feeling towards you," I brought her hand to my pounding chest. She blushed.
"Now you know how I feel, I'm not lying..." I hugged her and caressed her head.
"I won't let you go then," she said.
She removed my arms, looked up at me. Then slowly, she closed the gap between us and captured my lips.
Somehow, our kiss was incredibly different this time. No rush as if we had all the time in this universe. I sense chastity through it.
I let her exploring my mouth— tongues clashed, she bit my lower lip. I just hummed in response until my back hit the bed.
She detached her lips then moving down to the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent. Geez, this girl is driving me crazy.
"You always smell nice," she blurted.
I smirked, "I know" and proceeded to kiss her on lips that I've never had enough.
My body hovered her and it didn't stop us from kissing. I slipped my right hand beneath her hoodie and drew circle there.
I nuzzled my lips to her temple, "let me..." to her nose, "be—" to her left cheek, "with you," to her chin, "we can take this slow—" to her neck, "but sure."
"J-jae...." she whimpered beacuse of my recent attack. It's a pleasure knowing the effect on her.
I blew her ear and nibbled it.
Guess all she could do was just whimpering underneath me, "Jae, we—" I bit her earlobe once again.
"—we should sleep," oh finally she could finish her words.
I chuckled and fell onto my back next to her.
"Alright babe, I admit having that dispute was pretty worn me out..."
"Yeah, me too," she rested her head on my chest.
I pulled her closer as we both drifted into sleep.
DAY6
Park Jaehyung x Reader
Summary: Jae was that nice guy that owed you big time; you didn't mean to catch feelings for him.
Word Count: 2k+
Warnings: Fake Boyfriend AU, College AU, lying, cheating, pining, fluff, angst, etc.
A/N: sooooooooo this happened and then I made this edit and now i just have to write gosh i love jae so much. THE EDIT IS MINE AND SORRY ABOUT THE TYPOS I HAVE AMMSKSKSKM
I had exactly 28 polaroid pictures of him.
Twenty eight.
20 + 8
I mean to take five pictures of him, and yet things got so out of hand.
I really, really didn't mean to...
And you're probably rolling your eyes, because how in the world could I say this? How in the world was I planning to get out of this alive?
"Your socks are down again," a voice jolts me out of my running locomotive thoughts. My shoulders jolt suddenly at the readmission to reality. I tilt my head up and find Jae, giving me a blank look as a candy stick sticks out of the corner of his mouth. His lips are unnaturally red because of this strongly strawberry scented lolly, and though he does nothing but look at me, I feel my pulse in my chest and my palms begin to sweat.
I turn down to my feet and find my left leg has a loose sock unlatched on my calf, sitting by my ankles. I bend down quickly and pull it up.
He clicks his tongue, "we could go sock shopping today. If you're still to stingy to buy those socks you wanted, I'll buy them for you because I feel physical pain when I see your ugly bacon socks that can't even do one job."
My eyes flick back up to his face. Jae's stupidly adorable face that I shouldn't think is remotely cute, come on!
I part my lips and begin to think of something to say-- something like he was a stupid boy for making his lips sugary and shiny like that.
I suppose I give a disgruntled look because he furrows his brows and makes my heart race faster.
"You good, sweetie?" he says purely out of mastery, and not because he thinks I'm his sweetie.
I pull a sour face and gulp roughly. I look away and ruffle my hair, "shut up, we're going to be late."
This crowded hallways was the perfect place to lose this hiccup.
I slam my locker door and clench my binder on hand. I pull on my backpack string and storm off into the crowd.
Jae doesn't get it and stands there with a incredulous and confused face. He pulls out the lollipop from his mouth and guesses it's probably the distance the other has in hardened sugar again. He chucks it into a can and calls, "wait up!"
Jae is too quick, and too damn long-legged, my gosh. He is also a slinky skinny boy and goes through the crowd and gets to me no biggie. A lil out of breath but no biggie.
He releases a sigh and catches my gaze.
"I threw the lollipop away," he says, as if it solved the theory of time travel and takes my hand.
My beating pulse is in my clammy hand, and this moron takes it into his large one. He does it because it's what he's been doing for me. He thinks absolutely nothing of it, but right now in this moment, it hits hard. It brings calamity to my mind, and I can't decide if I am more giddy that he is holding my hand or hurt because he can do it because it's nothing.
He looks around, off to his side to dodge people. Jae again thinks nothing of his actions as he tightens his grip and leads me off to our next subject.
This damned subject is the reason for this all. Had he not had a hard time in his homework, had he not slipped out of the passing rate so bad, had physics not been the bane of his existence, then maybe I wouldn't have had to tutor him, maybe he wouldn't have been so desperate to ask the "smartest kid in class" for tutoring lessons, and maybe he wouldn't have even talked to me that day I had the crummiest time of my life.
And sure, I guess maybe had that not happened, I would still be a train wreck too preoccupied in my jerk ex Younghyun.
Maybe I wouldn't have found someone else to vent to about my stupid, trivial, fickle, cliché sob story.
But ultimately, I guess it's all his fault!
Had that stupid brat not hooked up with my best friend- ex stupid best friend,
then--
Jae tugs me close as me go through a thick crowd of people. His grip on my hand is tight and firm, but it isn't strangling, it doesn't hurt. It feels secure. It feels... safe.
I look at our joined hands.
... I don't really wish to be stuck with friends and boyfriends who'd think of doing that.
Jae makes a panicked sound, "gAh! I saw mister Kim walk towards our classroom!"
He and I begin to make it through and down the left hallway. His long legs cut back to keep in pace with me as we jog up to our room. We both release a breath, and Jae finally lets go of me to open the door. My hand feels cold.
I don't know why he has to smile when he opens the door for me. I give him no reaction and immediately tread off to hide from his hot eyes.
I don't particularly know where my feet are taking me, but apparently it's to the wrong side of the room because Jae pulls me back by my backpack, causing me to crash into his chest.
I grunt and feel heat trickle up my neck and ears. He isn't looking at me when I look up at him. Jae airily says, "not there," and straightens me up.
My face burns when he shoves me under his arm. My nose is intoxicated by his stupid candy scent and cologne. My stomach begins to dance like a washing machine.
Because of my preoccupation to my own bodily reactions, if goes unbeknownst to me where exactly Jae is looking, or glaring exactly.
I do notice his jaw clench, but I do not know it's because of the putrid sight he sees.
Younghyun watches a few rows away. Jae and he give each other looks. The later clenches his jaw and tries to make eye contact another. Jae is too protective and keeps everything under his arm. He makes sure to show full distaste and turns to give what he's protecting a kiss.
A kiss.
I said he kissed my head.
I turn to him and feel like a tomato. Jae smiles at me and leads me to the other corner of the room.
I can't do this.
Mr. Kim does his lesson.
He talks about theorems and angles.
He removes his coat halfway because he was getting into his discussion.
And even though all I could to is watch, or barely look at the professor in front of the class, blabbering on and on about equations, I was unable to actually listen or register any information, because, dammit, Jae was looking at me.
He had his right cheek in his hand, and his elbow on his desk and he was looking at me.
It was not intense.
It was bored.
He kept pointlessly bothering me, as in he found it boring to even annoy me.
But I was cut into a statue because of it.
All I knew was Mr. Kim was opening and closing his mouth, and Jae had his hands extremely near my face as he fiddled with the tips of my hair.
"I'm hungry," he mutters.
"Go eat something then," I reply, too snippy, too fast.
He takes a moment to reply and I make the grave mistake of thinking that I've upset him. He is fine. Jae is simply looking at the hair he was fiddling with as he thought of an answer.
The moment we made eye contact and I felt my stomach drop, I knew.
I couldn't do any of this anymore.
"I kinda want a burger and some fries."
I turn away from him and reply, "then go get some."
He drops my hair and props both of his elbows on the desk, bored, "okay."
I turn to the direction opposite to Jae and feel the sunshine through the window telling me to jump out while I can.
I don't.
The bell rings.
Jae takes my hand again once I have all my things tidied up. He takes my binder from me and begins to lead me out of the door. He makes sure I walk in front of him as we do so.
He wraps his arms around me fron behind and rests his chin in my head, "I'm sorry you have to deal with that."
Deal with what?
What is he talking about?!
Does he mean the hair fiddling?
Why would he apologize?
"My offer to break his teeth still stands, you know."
Wait. He's going to break teeth?
Break who's teeth?
Hold on.
Does he mean Younghyun?
"Who else would I be talking about?" he scoffs out from above me.
"pssh, I didn't know the loser was here."
.... and I'm speaking to myself aloud now.
We make it out of our building and the sun is just spotlighting the tree's leaves just right.
Jae's holding my hand again.
I'm dragging my feet.
Why doesn't he mind that I'm basically being such dead weight to him? I look out and see a girl coo at the sight if him.
Jae catches it and smiles because he hears the part were she says they looks so cute.
Suddenly, he remembers.
"Oh hey," Jae stops and pulls out something from his bag. I look at the hand he held as he then hands me something. "I figured since we used up a lot of your films, you'd need some more."
I take the small paper box from him and stare at it like oblivion.
Jae chuckles, "don't need to thank me for being such a good sugar daddy when I took up most of the pictures you have anyway."
My cheeks burn at the fact he called himself a sugar daddy.
It is in my silence and lack of teasing or mocking banter Jae knits his brows. He straightens up and fixes his own bag, "hey are you okay? You've been uncharacteristically meek today."
I release a breath as I turn to my feet.
Jae is really concerned at this point.
I fake a smile and turn to him, "yeah, no, I'm good. Mr. Kim's new discussion really got me."
"... but he did a recap of last week's discussion."
I am caught off guard. I chuckle nervously. I scratch the back of my head and rack my brain for an excuse. I think of nothing and play it off weakly.
Jae straightens up. He is about to speak but I beat him to it, "actually Jae, there's been something bugging me lately."
He knits his brows and crosses his arms seriously.
My breath hitches.
I gulp, "I think we can finally call it even."
There is a moment of silence
Jae blinks and shakes his head slowly. "Uhm, I'm... I'm not following."
I chuckle nervously, "well," I snap my fingers, "as you showed just a while ago, you're actually understanding the physics lessons by yourself now, and, like, Younghyun doesn't contact me at all anymore-- hell I don't even think fo the bastard anymore--" I grumble quickly. I turn from afar back to Jae and feel heavy underneath his gaze.
I give a pinched smile and conclude, "yeah, eh, we don't have to pretend to be girlfriend-boyfriend anymore."
I wait for a response.
A laugh.
A sigh of relief.
Something.
But there is none.
Jae just looks at me, perplexed.
"I'm just thinking," I point to my temple and motion, "I keep playing it in my head that you have to keep putting up with me. And like- and like- you spend money on me that even I don't want to spend on myself, and I don't think it's fair to you."
Jae shifts from where he stands and speaks, "well if that's what you're worried about. Don't. I really don't mind." Ask me why.
I sigh and chew on my bottom lip.
Jae catches on and knows it is a sign of agitation.
"Well, actually there's more."
Am I really going to be saying this?
I clear my throat and go back and forth the palms of my feet, "I actually just think--"
No. I am not going to do it.
"--that we should just go back to how things were."
Jae is mortified with what it could mean.
I catch in and immediately clarify, "I just mean! That... I haven't hung out with my friends in a while. And, like, Dowoon has been looking for me for a long time now..."
False. Dowoon could give a rat's ass about me and would most definitely kill me if he ever finds out I used him as an excuse to get out of a dreaded confrontation about my one-sided, undeserving like to Jae, which according to him is not one-sided at all, which is extremely preposterous as it is.
Jae feels himself deflate, key words: my friends. Wasn't already there a friendship between him and Dowoon?
"I really appreciate everything you've done for me. I'm glad that you don't need me anymore."
Jae wants to scoff at what he just heard, who in the world said that?
"I think it's best for all of us that we get out of each other's hair..." I explain.
I swear I saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes, but it's just my wishful thinking because Jae breaks into a warm chuckle, "well, you are pretty annoying."
"Ha ha," I reply, rubbing my shoulder.
Jae, who felt so good when he woke up, feels like burrowing underground. He pushes the though of it away though, because he sees the genuine smile in front of him. That genuine smile that got him the moment he saw it.
I gave him the most sincere statement I could muster up at this point, "thank you for everything, Jae."
He smiles back, softer, and waves me off, "we're even."
I nod, "even Steven."
He nods.
We stand in an awkward silence.
I realize the box of polaroids he gave me is still in my hand. I turn to it and turn to him.
He beats me to it, "consider it a parting gift."
I look at him and somehow feel hurt, hurt that he's making it as if we don't have physics class together anymore, or literature or home economics.
I pull myself back however and remind myself of the truth.
Dowoon's an idiot and Jae deserves way better that some girl who cried for months about a jerk.
I shake my head and purse my lips, "okay."
There is a breeze cutting in between us, begging us to go our separate ways.
Jae shoves his hands in his pockets and musters up the lamest, "guess I'll eat alone then."
He regrets saying that.
My heart breaks.
He takes a step back, waves off and promptly dissmises me with one last, "bye."
Jae angst. if you actually feel like this is angst
(a/n: just being productive enough to make another ff this morning. i was motivated to do something when i saw some sad post on fb... i hope u enjoy .. btw my 2nd angst nyeh!)
❝Am I just hurting myself... for holding on to something that will never be mine, that I can never hug nor whisper I love you?❞
You are his bestfriend, his go-to person when his fucked up relationship is on mess again… and again… and again, but you never really understand why he still won't let go.
"Y/n your phone's ringing." Your co-worker said while handing your phone with the contact name "Here we go again".
You contemplated if you'll answer the call or just leave it there, but you really can't do the latter since you're the best friend. With a sigh, you answered his call.
"You free tonight?" You suddenly get chills up to your spine, running your imaginations again that maybe, this time he's asking you out for a date. But then you heard him trying so hard not to cry while talking to you, your imaginations are ruined. Here we go again.
You glanced at him while getting drinks from the refrigerator. "He's so messed up, again." You whispered to yourself.
You went and sat beside him, offering him a canned beer like how you do it every time he's here for the same reason. It's so silent, he never dared speak.
You let him loosen up a bit, so you just sat there drinking while waiting for him to finally talk the problem out.
"I really love her."
You faced him. Seeing him like this always makes your heart ache. Sometimes you ask yourself, how can she always end up hurting him when all he ever did was show her his love.
The night goes on like how it usually do whenever Jae's in your apartment, crying until he can't cry anymore and you, downing cans of beer while letting your thoughts take over your head.
"Will I ever be the one that'll make you happy and not experience pain?" you whispered.
Months pass by and they're back to normal. You're… still the same. Still his best friend.
For the past years, he always calls you for the same reasons. And you can't take it anymore. Why is it that he always have someone to lean on when his relationship falls. Why is it always you? You have feelings too… For him.
Do you ever pity yourself? Yes.
You're just his bestfriend, nothing more. You're his go-to when everything's messed up. You're his shelter when he's abandoned.
You'll never be his sunshine. His forever love.
You didn't know that you're just standing on the side walk until your phone rings.
"Here we go again"
It's a message this time.
"Can you fetch me some medicine? I think I'm sick. Thanks!"
"Me too… I think I'm starting to get sick off you." But you still did what he asked and you find yourself standing in front of his apartment.
You knocked to signal him you're going in.
Inside, you saw broken frames on the ground. Pieces of glass are also on the ground. His whole place is shit. You didn't find him at the living room nor the kitchen so you knock on his bedroom door.
"I have you med-" He's crying, again.
"Y/n, all I wanted was a happy ending. I love her and I can't let her go. Am I being too selfish for not letting go?"
You're tired.
You're so tired of all this. It's always the same. It's always about her. It's always about him. What about me?
"Do you ever think about… what I feel about this whole situation?"
Tears are starting to form in your eyes.
"Jae, you knew that I like you ever since we're little. But you said we're best friends and I accepted it. I thought that since we're just best friends I can get over you, but I can't. Everytime you come to me about this whole mess, I endured every pain I feel so that I can show you my whole support. But in the end, it's me who's hurting. It's me who needs support, but I have no one to lean on."
"I love you." You whispered before you left.
Jae was left surprised, everything is a mess. He is the mess.
