trust exercise | shouta aizawa
synopsis a closed off, guarded man falls for a delicate, insecure woman faster than he can process.
content angst (shouta sucks at romantic feelings tbh) mutual performance anxiety, communication before sex, makeup sex, feelings of shame over sex/intimacy, body worship, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, aftercare, bathing together
shouta has always been a man of his word according to his colleagues. but actions have always mattered more to him than words, or "empty promises delivered by the illogical." he despises small talk, beating around the bush and sugar coating situations that require a more blunt approach to the truth. and yet he finds himself engaging in all of those faults when confronting his true feelings for you.
he finds himself half slumped over a table inside a local cafe, leafing through a stack of ungraded papers he'd neglected. his afternoon patrol shift had bled into the darker evening hours, forcing him to deal with the more severe unpleasantries that came with fighting villains. he remembered how the server's chest visibly tightened at the sight of his blood crusted fingernails and heavy, dark circles underneath his eyes. "so, what do you do for work?"
the question doesn't register right away, his headspace polluted with violence and filthy thoughts about you. "school teacher," he sighs and clanks the empty coffee mug on the table. the server takes pity upon him, swiping up the dish and proceeding to brew the night's last pot of coffee. he hates himself, not because of the faces he's maimed or the bodies he's mutilated - but for leaving you in tears the previous night at your own apartment doorstep. nothing compared to the emotional anguish he felt from knowing you couldn't sleep due to his mistakes, a side effect of his gruff exterior.
"seems i've overstayed." he unlocks his phone to zero messages and calls from your number, the screen's brightness causing his head to spin. "thanks for the extra coffee." he sets a generous tip on the table, although not sure if the server heard him. with shaky hands, he dials your number after almost a full day of silence. you're up, of course - hating yourself for coming off as detached after a such a intimate night of passion. unexpectedly, you phone rings and shouta's name appears on your screen. you let it ring a few times before answering, not wanting to appear desperate though you'd give anything to talk to him in the moment. "hey."
"you picked up," he announces stoically. "didn't think you would. but, yeah. i just wanted to hear your voice is all." he meanders down a dimly lit alleyway, propping himself up against the brick wall beside a broken streetlight. "let me make things right, please. i'd give anything to see you right now." his tone is serious - not the same one he reserves for a classroom of rowdy students or for threatening a villain about to meet their fate. there's a direness to it, an urgency to prove your suspicions wrong - mainly the narrative that he doesn't truly love you, he'd only uttered the phrase in post coital bliss.
you couldn't have been more wrong. "it's my fault for being so forward about everything. didn't want to scare you off, but my feelings for you? they're real." his pleas echo off the walls, the cold darkened atmosphere a stark contrast to the warmth that radiated off your body last night. "you there, y/n?"
from a young age, you'd always been insecure about yourself and required validation from others to craft a sense of self worth. partners had hurt you before, and you learned to guard your heart closely - even from a man as rare as shouta, who would burn cities to the ground if it meant an eternity with you. over two months of knowing each other, he fought hard for your affection, not once pressured you for intimacy and allowed you plenty of space to regulate your emotions. there was no reason to distrust him or suspect he had poor intentions - especially not after how delicate your first time had been.
before you, shouta was never the type to cuddle after sex - it felt too intimate, stripped his soul completely bare and gave him a hollow feeling in his chest. until your first night together, basking in the aftershocks of your lovemaking - him dragging your back taut against his chest, setting his large palm over your tummy and nestling into the crook of your neck. hoping dearly that you heard him utter the words i love you but simultaneously horrified his confession had the opposite effect.
a system of communication was installed prior to your intimate actions, an hour or so spent bouncing ideas and questions off of each other. things started off simple - "so, what do you like? in bed, that is." he's aware how nervous you are, the stiff posture of your body alone a sign that you're emotionally closed off. "there's no right or wrong answer," he adjusts the volume of his voice. "whatever we say stays between us. you can make certain of that." it shouldn't be like this, hesitating to relay your healthy sexual desires to a man you've been emotionally invested in for months.
and at the same time, it's impossible to reassure a lover of their worth who is afraid to admit a void exists within them. "you're looking at me like you want to kiss me," you crack a sly smile, intentionally baiting him to overshadow your awkward behavior. "oh? is that an invitation?" shouta inches closer to you on his sofa, one arm caressing your back in a way that begs you to lean into him. "because i'd love nothing more than to kiss you right now." the heat of his breath ghosts over your lips, warm and inviting.
"you're so adorable when flustered." he pauses rubbing circles on your back, draping his arm over your shoulder instead to guide your body closer to his. the boldness of his actions is refreshing, so much so that your lips part on their own to let his tongue take over. he's damn skilled with the way he kisses - in search of that void within you with the incentive to pour out every ounce of his undying love. he withdraws, pulling off with a sneaky bite to your lip. "sho, i've never been kissed like that, ever. but i'm not a prude, it's just not many men want to kiss me."
"now, that can't be true. not with how gorgeous you are. and there's no way you can be a prude, not with how you're pressing up against me right now." he's right - you're practically straddling him, the position brought about by the passionate make out session. "not that i'm complaining with these gorgeous hips around me. let me ask you again. what do you like in bed? what makes your pussy wet?" he wants to lead you into deeper territory, mentally preparing you for intimate actions rather than force physical touch upon you.
"when you touch me, especially on my hips. my waist, too." he grins devilishly, firmly gripping your hips to grind down against his lap. "fuck, you know what? these are the best hips i've ever held. perfect for my hands, they fit so well and drive me insane." you feel safer now - and he senses how your body has relaxed, calmly stirring in his lap until you feel confident enough to make your move. "what do you like?"
he's pleased that you pitched the question. "you know what get's me going? messy sex. the kind that's full of passion and free of judgment. when my dick is sensitive from being sucked and fucked by my partner's mouth and pussy so many times. messy sex with a girl that isn't afraid to get a little nasty? that's exactly what i'm into."
you avert your eyes for a split second out of shame before focusing in on him. "it's difficult for me to immerse myself in sex and truly enjoy it. my past experiences weren't all that great, there was never the a right time to explore sex with my partners. it was all about them, their pleasure." he waits for you to finish speaking before sighing dramatically. "your body is made for pleasure, baby. and you have this natural sexuality about you. it's refreshing to have someone who wants to explore sex. and not just the mechanical aspects of it either. i'm sorry you've been failed in that department. but, this means i can be the first to show you how good your body can feel."
an unfamiliar feeling reaches him out of the blue, performance anxiety. the stakes are much higher - his confidence wavers and the weight of the moment makes the room feel suffocating. someone as touch starved and vulnerable as yourself deserves proper affection, and he's never been more terrified of screwing things up. "listen, if you're not ready to indulge yourself there is no rush. having you on my lap, slowly rolling your hips sounds perfect. but, something tells me there's a dirty girl deep within you that just hasn't come out yet." your blush deepens and you shift in his lap, nudging his bulge with your thigh.
memories of the buildup flash in the back of your mind in the present, trying to find the right words to fill the empty silence over the phone. "i'm here, sho." your voice is smooth as silk, laced with the reassurance he needs in the moment to feel whole again. it was the same tone you used when thanking him after he ran you a warm bath following your love making and embraced you in the tub - kissing your back and shoulders from behind, as if the tenderness would sooth your sore muscles. he's devastatingly in love, unable to wipe the tears that stream down your cheeks and catch the droplets before they hit the water.
"be honest with me, did you just say all that in the moment?" the question coerces the truth from him, phone shaky in his grip. "all that as in, saying i loved you? are you implying that was said only because it was during the heat of the moment? well, i'm not about to confirm that. because it would be fucking wrong. goddamn, i wish you were here. wish i could hold you again and tell you all over," he chokes on a sob. "tell you that my love is real. not just something said because of how hard i orgasmed."
he wished you didn't leave as soon as the bath water cooled - it disturbed him how quickly you dried your body and clothed yourself with a degree of urgency a casual fling would have. you tossed him a clean towel, waiting for him to finish up in the bathroom before meeting you on your way out. "you really don't have to leave, it's not a problem for you to stay." he runs a hand through his damp hair, shirt half unbuttoned and not even wearing a belt. "it's not that, there's somewhere i need to be in the morning."
"if you thought i was bluffing about my morning responsibility, you're incorrect. i had a job interview pretty early." he didn't care about your excuse, but was relieved to know it wasn't a lie. "was i too forward?" he sets the phone down on his restless knee for a second, waiting for you to reply. "not at all, it wasn't that. i genuinely wanted to have sex with you. and i still do. it was the best sexual experience of my life," you admit sincerely, your arousal evolving at the fantasy of making love again. "then let's see each other, as soon as possible. is now a decent time? it's late, yeah. but-" your response is immediate, representative of your hunger for his devotion. "come over then, i'm not doing anything."
shouta wasn't as familiar with your apartment, aside from you inviting him over out of convenience. if he happened to be in the area, you'd offer him a place to stay - a shower, a meal, anything you could offer was at his fingertips. he didn't take advantage of your kindness often, not wanting to impose or be dependent on you. "look who it is." you greet him at the door - he looks more disheveled that usual, but the look is oddly handsome and complimentary to his "rough around the edges" personality.
"yeah, thought i'd stop by." he casually steps into your apartment - there's water already on the coffee table and he knew you'd brew him a cup of coffee if he's asked. before you could offer him anything, he wraps his arms around you with such force that it knocks you off balance. "sho," the feeling sinks in - it's not lust or infatuation he's displaying but ravenous desire to touch you properly again, and this time, without confusion. "fuck, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to scare you off with my feelings." he cups your face in his hands, kissing your cheeks and forehead with care.
"it's okay, sho. my apologies to you as well." you gesture for him to sit with you on the sofa, weakening the emotional tension to make room for an honest conversation. "my reaction was juvenile. you really treated me unlike any other man has. i was afraid of my own feelings and projected my fears. honestly, it would make sense if you lost interest." he shakes his head, knowing he never got that impression from someone who has aided him in times of need. "not once did i lose interest in you. you've done more for me than most people have. the least i could have done was take care of you after sex."
"i'm starved for you, shouta. and it's only been less than 24 hours. isn't that pathetic? that i ran away all immature from the only man who could ever satisfy my cravings." his gaze lingers on your lips, each stiff exhale a telltale sign of how exasperated you are. "maybe we could try things again, the same way and same amount of passion." resting a hand against your back, he pulls you in for a messier kiss, tongue invading your mouth and spiking your arousal. "carry me, my room's over there behind the wall."
shouta couldn't care less than the walls are thin, and neither can you when his dick is that good. his thrusts are unrestrained, hips losing control as he slams into your tight cunt with a newfound incentive - to claim you, make you his until the end of time. "that's it, baby. taking my cock so well, so deep. knew you were made for me, fuck." the sounds your bodies produce are incredibly lewd, the tight grip of your velvet walls prompting him to slow his rhythm. "sorry baby, don't wanna finish too quick."
his forehead is slick and sweat drenched against yours, dark hairs framing his handsome face as he rolls his hips languidly. tonight was about worshipping you body and clearing your head of any intrusive doubts concerning his love and devotion for you. there would be plenty of other opportunities to take his aggression out on your pussy for his own relief, but he couldn't sleep at night aware of your uncertainty towards him. "pussy feels too good, mind if i throw these pretty legs over my shoulders? can get real deep that way."
your body speaks for you, automatically adjusting your hips to compliment the new variation of missionary. "that's it, perfect. can see your pretty face, hold it in my hands while i'm wrecking you." careful not to crush you with his weight, his forearms momentarily brush the crook under your knees before pressing side by side with yours. he observes your expression, watching for discomfort and any potential strain on your limbs. "move sho, please."
"say less," he winks and proceeds to rock your caged body back and forth. the glowing admiration in his eyes is more than reassuring, each grunt and groan a testament to the type of man he is - not just a lover, but a companion to his woman, his muse. his everything, who he intends to worship for the rest of his days. "i'm not deserving of a woman like you." his thrusts are shallow, the thought of withdrawing from your soaked warmth unfathomable.
"don't say that, sho. you're worthy. not sure of me, but-" his body lurches forward sharply, rage creeping in his soul - but not at you, never at you, only the pathetic so called men who put your needs on the back burner and instilled devastating insecurities. "stop it, right there. yes, you." there's pain etched into your features, derived from years of trauma and neglect that he can't get himself to acknowledge directly. "please, stop. i can't hold you any tighter, as much as i want to. can't destroy those who carved the void in your soul."
"you have." the words tumble from your lips with ease, neither rehearsed or insincere. "i feel less empty because of you." he freezes - but his body withstands the anxiety and tension, not wanting to disrupt your calm state. he lowers your legs, preferring that you wrap them around his waist to control the depth of penetration. the speed of his thrusts become rapid, a telltale signal that he's ready to empty himself inside you. "need you here with me, always." your ankles are tied at the small of his back, pulling him inwards pursuing your own climax. "can't hold out any longer, fuck."
shouta cums with a roar, monitoring his strength as not to collapse on you. an endless steam of heat fills your insides, his cock throbbing in tandem with your cunt's contractions. "fucking hell," he pants - satisfied by how cockdrunk you appear, face contorted in bliss and body responsive to his every touch. "you did beautifully for me." he seals his confession with a kiss, glancing down between your bodies where his cum pools beneath your ass.
"i believe you." he needs to make sure he's hearing you right this time. "that you love me." he cherishes those words more than you could imagine, fighting back tears threatening to spill. "that's all i ever fucking wanted. for you, for us." he prides himself on gaining your trust, never wanting to fuck up and convince you to lose faith again. shouta has always been a man of his word. but to be good enough for a woman like you, he'd have to prove it time and time again.











